Where do I begin?
I honestly don't even know.
This subject is so sensitive...
Not just to me but to most of my family, my colleagues, and my friends.
All for different reasons.
This could take weeks to write.
Hell, it could take weeks to read.
I guess I need to start off with a little disclaimer that some of you may get pissy reading this and some of you may take offense. Upfront: I don't care. This is my blog, my opinion, and my word.
A child has died.
A three year old child has died.
This is the latest news in my hometown and it saddens me so much. I mean it saddens me till I'm sick to my stomach thinking about it.
But there are other things about it that make me just as sick. It's the general public. It is the people that "know" the facts.
It is the people that are so quick to make a judgement call on anyone involved and they just can't wait to get on social media and comment away about how good a person is or how bad a person is.
It is the people that love to point out what the police and the investigators "should" be doing. Those that "know better" than all the rest because they have interacted with the deceased...or the accused.
Those arm-chair quarterbacks that know the law better than anyone else.
Basically, the ones that can't stop talking about it and let the authorities do their jobs, make me the sickest.
I would like to give a huge shout out to the Taylor County Sheriff's Office and the Department of Criminal Investigation. For such a high profile case, they have remained tight-lipped about the details of this case; as they should. But come on, we all know how small towns are! People LOVE to talk about people. It's human nature. It's what we do.
Just for a second, I would like you to put yourself in the following situation (DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THESE SITUATIONS ARE FACTS INVOLVED WITH THE ACTUAL CASE. THIS IS ME THINKING OUT LOUD):
You and your ex have a child together and the ex moves away. They move far enough away that, in order for you to get to your child in any sort of emergency, you have to drive several hours. Now... your child is away for a week, visiting their parent and you are sitting at home, just "chilling" and you open up Facebook or your Twitter, to see that your ex...the parent of your child...has been arrested. Not only have they been arrested...but they have been arrested on charges of endangering a child. And then you find out that it is your child.
Tell me you aren't going to be upset.
Tell me your world didn't just turn upside-down.
Tell me that you aren't going to want to inflict some serious pain on that other parent.
Tell me all one hundred thousand thoughts going through your head at that very moment.
Now...tell me what you are going to do when you find out that your child is dead.
Tell me exactly how you are going to handle that moment; right then; right there.
Tell me how you are going to wait until a police officer gets to your door to give you this awful, awful news. News that has already shaken you to your core.
Tell me how you are going to drive so many hours away to get to your baby. To do whatever it takes to make sure this is all a big mistake.
Tell me how you feel about learning your child is dead through social media.
You can't tell me because you don't know. You might think you know but you don't.
I hope this never happens to you.
Now...I would like to walk you through another situation and again: THIS IS ME THINKING OUT LOUD. NONE OF THESE ARE FACTS INVOLVED WITH THE ACTUAL CASE:
You are a cop and you get called to a medical call in your small town. There is an unresponsive child. Immediately, your heart hurts and your mind drifts to your own children at home. The ones that can't wait for you to come home to them every night. You start to say your prayers for this child. It is just natural. You can't stop it. "Please God, let this child wake up. Let this be a mistake."
Sadly, the child does not survive. And now the investigations begin. Your whole department working on this day and night. State investigations called in to assist. Arrests are made and the more information you learn, the sicker you get to your stomach; the angrier you get at the situation; the more frustrated you get because you want this case resolved. You want it resolved now. Not for you though. For that poor child that has lost their life.
Your shift is over and you go home. Your kids are playing and so happy to see you walk in the door. And all you can do is hug them. And maybe even shed some tears. You never want to let them go. A thousand thoughts going through your head. How? Why? What in the hell!!!???!!! Endless hours laying awake, thinking everything through. Horrifying images flash through your head. Endless hours trying to find even an ounce of sense in this stupid, stupid situation.
To get your mind off of it...hoping for some light-heartedness from society...you log into your Facebook or your Twitter and everyone is talking about this poor child that has lost their life. And you can't just walk away from it. No, you start to read comments and posts to see what people have to say. Honestly, it is human nature for a cop to keep reading because they have that tiny, tiny glimmer of hope that a sliver of evidence will get posted.
You have the people that publicly ask for prayers for this child; for this family; They ask their friends...their prayer warriors...to get down on both knees and beg God for some answers for this child.
And then you have the people that "knew" the family. The ones that "knew" the deceased. They "knew" that this was a good family and there could be no way that this child could have been harmed by this person. They saw this child recently and the child was fine. Kids fall. Kids have accidents. Kids get hurt. It's human nature. These people can't wait to defend what they "know" simply because they "know" it.
And then there are the above people's counterparts. The ones that just knew they were bad people. They are quick to say that things like this "probably" have happened all along. That things like this were "probably" a normalcy for this child. These people can't wait to spew their venom; poisoning the minds of anybody willing to read what they have to post. These are the ones that don't wait for facts. They don't wait for you to do your job as a police officer...as an investigator...as an officer of the law because they live their lives on the "what ifs" and the "probablys."
And then you have that small group of people that are IMMEDIATE to point out what the police are not doing. They are the really venomous ones. The dangerous ones. They are the ones that read one sentence and twist it around to make themselves look like they know more than anyone else. They turn the words around to make it look like they had inside information on something they truly know nothing about. You realize this is really the "deadliest" of the groups.
Or is it?
Because there is one more group of people that just make you shake your head and wonder how the hell these people not only are a part of your social media, but how are they even a part of your life? The group that goes out of their way to stand up for your job. They stand tall, above all the rest, defending you and your colleagues. Their chests puffed out. They can't wait to boast to the world that not only are you doing your job to the best of your ability (and you are), but you are doing it day and night. You aren't taking time to eat. You aren't taking time to sleep. You are missing out on time with your own family because of this case. All false, of course.
While your every waking moment is spent dealing with this case both physically and mentally...and every other case that comes across your desk each and every day, you are human. You have to have nourishment and you have to have sleep and you have to have time with those you love. Because if you didn't...you would have failed at your job a long time ago.
Now...how do you feel about your groups of friends now?
Kinda makes you want to shut them all out completely, doesn't it?
How does it make you feel to know that most everyone you come into contact with on a daily basis, is on the edge of their seat to give the most updated version of the story?
How badly does it make you want to go out to a local restaurant or to a ballgame, with these very people that want to suck information out of you?
How badly do you want to socialize now?
These are your friends.
I have had to go back over this several times already and I am so afraid I am going to lose focus, so I better get to the point.
SHUT UP. SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS ABOUT THE WHOLE DEAL. YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW THIS CHILD CAME TO IT'S END. YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THE CIRCUMSTANCES OR THE DETAILS THAT ARE TIED TO THIS CASE.
UNLESS YOU ARE THAT POOR BABY'S MOMMA, JUST SHUT UP.
UNLESS YOU ARE DIRECTLY RELATED TO THIS CASE, I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ONE GOOD REASON WHY YOU ARE ENTITLED TO KNOW ONE DAMN THING ABOUT THIS CASE.
Now, I am not saying that this incident and this child should be forgotten. No way, no how. But instead of pointing fingers and twisting the facts, we all need to be pulling together and begging for Mercy for this poor little child. The headlines should read "Town In Mourning." Every one of us should take a step back and let the authorities do their jobs. This is not something that is going to be resolved overnight.
I shared two posts from an area radio station about this case. And I stated my opinion that the charges were definitely not steep enough. I didn't do that because I think the police have time to troll my Facebook page to see what my opinion is. I didn't do it because I think the police give one damn about what I have to say about it.
I did it because I am sad for a little three year old child that has died. I did it because I am sad for her and for her momma, as well as for my hometown.
And I would like to add that most of the comments on the tv station websites, and the radio station websites, are stupid at best. Keep your comments to yourself. If it was your child, you would want the world to butt out. Your opinions about this family and this child mean nothing. If you don't have solid fact to lay down then keep moving. And if you do have solid fact, I suggest you get to the authorities.
Here are just a few comments that I have found while roaming around on the internet and it just goes to show that people are ignorant and callous. People can't wait to hear themselves talk. The world is a scary place but when you have all these people with opinion-turned-fact to back them up, it makes me want to go running and screaming in the other direction. But then I realize that as long as I have those people, I have job security because it really is just a vicious cycle.
"The baby was in the bath."
(WRONG)
"Ok, so they are now telling us here in Bedford that the poor babies cause of death was drowning." (WRONG. I DON'T KNOW WHO "THEY" ARE BUT "THEY" ARE WRONG)
"Lazy parents like this would use a microwave not the stove so I'm sure it was a punishment. Too bad someone didn't see the signs sooner so that she could have been saved." (WOW. JUDGE MUCH? WHERE IN ANY INFORMATION YOU HAVE READ, DID IT SAY THIS PERSON WAS LAZY? I HAVE LAZY DAYS AND STILL USE MY STOVE. UNBELIEVABLE, I KNOW)
"What is wrong with these single mom's who feel the need to put their personal interests ahead of the safety of their children. She needs to be charged with something but in 18 months or so she will be pregnant again." (THE CHILD WAS IN THE CUSTODY OF HER FATHER, NOT HER MOTHER. READ THE FACTS. AGAIN, JUDGE MUCH? I COULD JUDGE YOU JUST FOR YOUR IDIOTIC POST. BUT I WON'T)
"I couldn't agree more. I couldn't imagine hurting my child. I can't say stories like this shock my anymore but I understand what you mean." (IT'S A SAD WORLD WE LIVE IN WHEN WE AREN'T SURPRISED BY CHILD ABUSE. I AM COMPLETELY SHOCKED BECAUSE I TEND TO GIVE EVERYONE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. WHAT AM I THINKING?)
I read where one person stated that we should just "get rid of the Amber Alert System" (NOT SURE WHEY THIS CAME UP OR HOW IT WAS RELEVANT) "because it's overly abused." (YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? IF IT WAS YOUR KID, WOULD YOU WANT THEM TO JUST NOT TELL ANYONE???)
And as I was typing this, an Amber Alert comes through. Maybe that person above, that wants to get rid of the system would like to call up the mommy and daddy of two year old Rheea Lee Ann Day and four year old Reed Landon Day, and tell them that their child doesn't matter. Maybe they would like to explain to these parents how they are overly abusing this system "simply" because their children are missing. (YOU SIR OR MADAM, ARE A FLAMING IDIOT!)
Before I close, I want to give another shout out to the Taylor County Sheriff's Department and the Department of Criminal Investigation. Keep doing what you're doing because you're doing it well! I am so proud to be even a tiny link in your chain. With that being said, if you would like to challenge my opinion of these entities, I would be glad to spar. If you have known me for five minutes, you know that not only is law enforcement my life, and Taylor County a part of my soul, but I would fight to the death in their honor.
Stop and think one more time.
Cops are human.
They don't desensitize when they go to work.
They don't just stop feeling things when tragedy strikes.
They just get better at hiding their pain and their fear.
They just find new ways to cope.
Just like you do when you lose people in your life or when you have to deal with some really crappy situations.
We're all human. We all WANT to know things. But the confusion is that we mix up the words WANT and NEED. We think we need to know details of everything and everyone around us, when it is truly just the want to know. Informational greed is all it is, and it's ugly.
