2015/07/16

Protecting the blue line

I don't have to do this but I am going to anyway...
For those of you that think my tattoos are ridiculous, maybe you should first take the time to understand them.  If, after reading what I have to say about them, you still think I'm ridiculous, well then you can go on your merry way.  I do not care.  If, after reading this, you still can't understand why I proudly display my love and my commitment to the blue line and "my guys," at least I know I tried.  I have done my part.  Ignorance is yours to keep.

On my right arm I have the phrase "Lord, protect my heroes"



We all have our versions of "heroes," and mine just happen to be in law enforcement.  That isn't to say that I don't value our military, our teachers, EMS, firefighters...I could go on all day.  I value many, many people but obviously law enforcement is what I know and what I do so it should be apparent to most anyone that has known me for ten minutes or more, why I have a prayer to protect those that I hold in my heart, as heroes.  If I had a dollar for every time I think "Lord, protect my heroes," I could retire in style and probably retire you as well.  It is THAT constant in my heart and in my mind.

On my left arm I have three badges


The first badge represents Taylor County.  The county where I grew up.  The county that is and always will be home to me.  The county where my dad and my brother were both the county Sheriff at one time and currently I have the honor of my nephew being the Sheriff and another nephew a Deputy Sheriff.  I have a sister that has been the civil clerk for the county for many years and for those that don't know, we grew up in the jail house in Bedford so law enforcement is really and truly what is in my heart.  Every family has a legacy and I am proud that we help represent the blue line. 



I would also like to mention that over the years, I have met some pretty wonderful men and women of law enforcement; from dispatchers to deputies to reserves to troopers, and my life wouldn't be the same without any of them.  I have many, many friends from the Taylor County area that I am proud to call my colleagues, as well as family; even if they aren't blood.  Many from my childhood have passed but that doesn't keep me from holding them close to my heart and reliving such wonderful memories of days gone by.  These people protected me on a daily basis.  From the dispatchers to the deputies to the reserves to the troopers.  And to this day, when I visit the Sheriff's Office there, every person makes me feel like I am back at home.

Every one of these officers...from day one until the day I die, will be "my guys."

The third badge represents Adair County.  The county where I got my official "start" in the business.  I tried and tried to rebel against the idea of getting into this business but I couldn't stay away.  I have to be honest with you when I say that I have made the best friends of my life in this career and in this county.  Some I couldn't imagine not having in my life.  I wouldn't want to change where I am right now for anything in the world. Adair County is where my dad grew up so living here is another blessing for me.  I will always have a part of my dad with me so it's nice to think that I brought a part of him back to his home area.

Again I will add...every officer that I get the honor of working with are, and always will be, "my guys."




I did not skip number two.  This one is in the middle of the two county badges, I held back on this one for a particular reason.  Number two is a memorial shield.  As you can see in the picture, it has a memorial band across it and it is to show my love and gratitude for all fallen officers.  Not just in my area but in the world.  When Kerrie Orozco was killed in the line of duty in Omaha, Nebraska, I was devastated.  Although I did not know Kerrie, her death was very hard on me.
 Her death made me want to protect "my guys" even more than ever.  Her death forced me to be a better dispatcher.  Her death opened my eyes to so many areas of the job that she did and the job that "my guys" do every day.

My shield also represents my friend, Tyler.  The young man that had the bravery of a thousand cops.  The wise soul that held the hearts of thousands of people.  The one that hurts my heart so much to think about him not being on this earth anymore.  My shield honors him because even from a bed inside a great big hospital, he did all he could to protect and serve.  He lived to do it.  He always wanted to protect those that he loved; doing whatever he had to in order to get it done.  And he served.  He served God.  He brought so much love and kindness to this world...to others.  He brought people together.  He had a way of making people know that God was always there whenever they needed him.  There is no greater service than the service of God and this kid really knew what he was doing.

So I will just mention again how Tyler...and even Kerrie...will always be "my guys."  Notches etched in my heart...lumps in my throat so big that sometimes I feel it is easier to throw up than try to swallow them down...EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THEM AND THEIR BRAVERY.  

If by chance, you are one of "my guys" and you are reading this.....Thank You.   Through my tears and from my heart, please know that you are held in the highest esteem and, well..... 

YOU ARE MY HERO

2015/07/14

Tribute to Tyler



I hope that every one of you has met at least one person in your life that has changed and challenged the way you think, the way you feel, the way you respond.  I hope that every one of you has met at least one person in your life that has believed in you, pushed you, and broadened your horizons.

I have had the honor and the pleasure of having one person be all of the above for me and his name is Tyler James Cross.  Some of you may know him and some of you may not but I think everyone should meet someone in their life that is just exactly like Tyler.




The other day when we were at the hospital spending time with Ty and the family, someone had left a book there and people were writing in it.  The book was "What Tyler has taught me."  If you know me, you know that I couldn't wait to get my hands on that book and let some emotion seep out.  But since that day and since I wrote in that book, I have not been able to "let go" of the book; at least in my head.  I know what I wrote and I meant every word of what I wrote in that book.  And what I wrote stays between me, Tyler and the family.  Just like what everyone else wrote in the book.  It is personal.  I didn't read anything that anybody else wrote.  I just wanted to write down my special message and be happy that I was able to "tell" him.

But when I say that I haven't been able to "let go" of that book, I mean that I find myself thinking about all the things that I have talked about with Tyler through the years.  All the things we have starting joking around about and ended up in a deep, meaningful conversation.  It didn't take much with Tyler.  He was a pretty deep kid.

Almost 18 years old and he is literally sketched into my heart pretty deep. I know that I will never meet another like him.  Tyler always, always looked for the good in everybody.  When I would be frustrated with someone, he would always find a way to make me think about things from that person's point of view.  He would, without even trying, put me in that person's shoes and have me try to see what they are seeing.  He would try (and I say try because sometimes Ty thought I was a little stubborn) to not necessarily say I was wrong in how I felt but help me understand that others are seeing what I'm seeing, in a whole different light.

Ty loved to joke around.  Ty loved to scare me.  When I used to work for one of his nursing companies, and I would be cleaning his room, he loved to leave a rubber snake or a plastic bug laying around where I would least expect to find it.  Not that I am afraid of snakes but when you come across one and you're not expecting it to be there, it takes you back!  Thank God he never got me with a spider!

Tyler and his brother Justin (who passed away in 2007 at the age of 22) were both born with one of the most debilitating conditions a person can imagine.  Epidermolysis Bullosa (ep-ih-dur-MOL-uh-sis  Buhl-LOE-sah).  I have to be honest with you, even with that pronunciation there, I still can't say it.  It is referred to as EB and it is known as the worst disease you've never heard of.  Children with this disease are known as butterfly children because their skin is as fragile as the wings of a butterfly. 

Here is just a little information about EB that I got online from the Mayo Clinic.  There is so much more to learn about this awful disease though.




"EB is a group of rare diseases that cause the skin to blister.  The blisters may appear in response to minor injury, heat, or friction from rubbing, scratching or adhesive tape.  In severe cases, the blisters may occur inside the body, such as the lining of the mouth or intestines.  Most types of EB are inherited.  The condition usually shows up in infancy or early childhood.  Some people don't develop signs and symptoms until adolescence or early adulthood.  EB has no cure, though mild forms may improve with age.  Treatment focuses on addressing the symptoms-such as infection and itching-and preventing pain and wounds.  Severe forms may cause serious complications and can be fatal.  EB is usually inherited.  Researchers have identified more than a dozen genes involved with skin formation that, if defective, may cause a type of EB.  The skin is made up of an outer layer (epidermis) and an underlying layer (dermis).  The area where the layers meet is called the basement membrane zone.  The type of EB you have is defined by where in these layers the blisters form." --The Mayo Clinic




I have been staring at Facebook for the past 24 hours and now on the television.  Tyler has left this world and is finally free of all his pain.  He can run with his brother and his friends and he no longer has any limitations.  He is in Heaven and I can easily see in my mind, how big his smile is.  And as happy as I am for him to be "home," that selfish part pokes me in the ribs.  

I can not get in my head that I won't see Ty again.  I can not get in my head that I will never hear him say "Where is your redneck husband?" again.  I won't see him smile again. I guess it's harder to grasp when it is someone so young.  I don't know.  I have only known Ty for about seven years but he was a huge part of me for these seven years.  He was always hanging around in the back of my mind... helping me rethink things and giving me that extra push that I needed. 

Thank you Tyler, for so many smiles, so many laughs, so many tears, so many memories. Thank you for being the friend that you were; always making me feel like I was part of your family, part of your life, part of your heart.  I will always and forever hold you in my heart and treasure every memory I have of you.  

Thank you for introducing me to people that I otherwise wouldn't known.  Not so long ago, we were at the hospital visiting Ty and this guy walks in and you could instantly see the friendship between this guy and Ty.  I just sat back and let them have their fun; their conversation.  Then Ty says to me, "Shellie, this is Matthew Morgan.  He is The Dark Knight."  If you know me at all, you know that I couldn't believe my ears.  I'm pretty sure I was stunned and in awe at the same time.  There I was in the same room with the guy that plays one of my most favorite superheroes of all time.  TDK (or you might know him as Batman in some circles)!!!!!  I will be at the Comicon this November.  I can't wait.  So yeah...Ty has the best circle of friends!




I saw this picture the other day and it kinda just says it for me, so I will end with it. Tyler, I love you and I miss you and someday we will see each other again.  Until then, the rest of us will be down here fighting the fight.  Oh yeah...and I will help keep your mom busy...keep giving your dad a lot of grief...and I will always treasure Miss Mackenzie and Beth.