You might want to strap yourself in for this one. Or maybe it's just me that shakes my head when I realize what the hell just went on in my home! I need my own reality show, I think. Anybody out there want to get started on that? I will be here. Waiting for you. With my eyes open and my fingers drumming.
Yesterday was the first day back to work after my 4 day near-death-influenza-paralyzation scare. You can imagine I was exhausted when I got home. After all, I hadn't went more than an hour (at the most) at a time, awake, since Friday night. So of course, I fought the nap. I was going to try to make myself stay up until bed time. An early bed time. Well I stayed up until about 6:15pm and Quintin had come home from work and plopped down on the futon and that's all it took. My body was instantly jealous and was ready to protest. I told him he had to get up because I had to lay down and take a power nap.
Told him to wake me in half an hour and what did he do? He went upstairs and worked on the new bathroom. Yep, I slept for an hour and a half. Here it was, almost 8:00pm and we hadn't had dinner yet or anything. So to the kitchen I go and make up some wheat spaghetti. One of our favorites. Eat, do dishes, clean up the kitchen, start a load of laundry, change clothes and head to bed. It was after 11:00pm and I was beat.
Q, of course, was "not sleeping" in his recliner and that's right where I left him. I get into bed and can't wait to fall asleep.....just to lay there and not be able to go to sleep. Way to go Shellie. You just HAD to lay down and take a nap! Why didn't you set your alarm? Well...because my phone was in the other room (on vibrate) and I would have had to get up and I just couldn't get up. Not at that point!
Moving on...I would almost fall asleep and then, just that fast, be wide awake again. It was the weirdest thing. I listened to music for the longest time. That's how I usually go to sleep. My MP3 player sings to me and I dance off to dreamland. Not this time. It wasn't happening. I remember Q coming to bed and my eyes were wide open but I felt like I was on the verge of falling asleep. So....again, I was wide awake because he has to shake it like it's hot. The bed. Nothing else. We have a king sized bed and he can still wake me up by just getting into bed because he's such a giant bed hog. And it doesn't help when he practically makes a run from the stairway at full speed and barrels into the bed like a linebacker into a cheeseburger.
He was asleep in minutes. Maybe seconds. I have always envied that. It's not that I have a hard time falling asleep (usually), it's just that sometimes I wish I could relax that fast. Oh well. I have to mentally go through my day in my head and make sure I didn't forget anything and then I fall into blissful sleep. But like I said...it wasn't happening this night!
Checked Facebook to see if I was missing anything super. I wasn't. Big let down. Listen to the music some more. I remember looking at the phone and it was 00:49. I was awake a little while after that but not too much longer I'm sure.
*bleep* *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* WHAT. THE. HELL. IS. THAT. 4 text messages. I kid you not. It is 2:06 in the damn morning and I JUST got to sleep an hour ago and someone feels the need to send a stupid *(%#!*$ text??? Are you kidding me??? Usually I turn my phone front side down and it won't sound my alerts but since I was having a hard time falling asleep, I had used my phone and laid it down the "normal" way. SHAT!!!
So here are these 4 text messages from this jackass wanting to discuss what his woman and I had already discussed about 4 hours earlier. Or 5. I can't remember and I really don't care. I do know that we had arranged to talk about our situation at a later time. But that asshat decided he needed to jump in and take over. At 2:06am. If he would have waited until this morning, I would have GLADLY just called him back and talked to him. But no. I wanted to go to sleep. I had to be at work at 8:00am and I knew it wasn't going to be an easy feat to get back to sleep. I kindly texted him to delete my phone number and then I black listed him on my phone list so he can't send me anything else. Or call me. Well, he can but it won't go to me. THEN I went back to Facebook and unfriended the SOB.
I mean it was pretty apparent to me at this point that he didn't have any respect for me so why should I give a rat's ass if I ever saw or talked to him again? Back to bed I go. Toss. Turn. Think. Go over the day's events. Go over the weekend's events. Toss. Think. Turn. Turned on the tv and watched those bitches for a while. If they would just show Khloe, I would watch nothing else. But they don't. I can't stand those snotty girls. After that it was "FatChef." Have you ever watched that? Well I think it's a fantastic show. Too bad the only two times I have ever seen it, it was the same episode each time. And it was like 6 months between viewings. Just my luck.
Back to Facebook. I "liked" about 25 different pages of cake bakers/decorators. Some from Australia and some from England and some from the good ole US of A. I love the things people do with their food and I am very very jealous of their talent and patience. I wish I had half of theirs.
So, I'm having a good time looking at cakes when all of a sudden, the husband's leg starts twitching. And it keeps twitching. It has a rhythm to it. And just as soon as I get the rhythm down, he stops. And then...as soon as I think he's done, he starts up again. It was damn maddening, I tell ya!!! And gas!!! My word, I can't make myself even understand how it is possible for a person to fart as much as this man farts and NOT EVEN KNOW IT. I can tell you 100% truth...when I have to fart at night, I wake up. I hate that feeling of gas in my tummy so it wakes me anytime. Cripes, I just admitted to farting. I think this isn't the first time though. Now that I think about it, there was the night I was working out and let a butt howl that I was certain woke my husband on the floor above me. And then of course I had to "show my ass" for the x-ray tech while getting my foot x-ray'd. Ok, I will stop. I'm human.
But seriously folks. How do guys do that? How do they just let their buttholes flap and not even realize it? I was pretty certain, at this point, that the gas would put me "in a fog," so to speak and I would either go to sleep or just stop breathing altogether. No luck. I survived the gas plague with no scars or discoloration. From holding my breath you sicko.
Then, my dear husband puts his head on his hands and his head is perched in the air. No pillow needed. He was sleeping on his stomach. I had never seen anything like it. I was just waiting for his head to start spinning around and so I made sure my Bible was in my bedside table just in case I needed to perform some kind of exorcism. But he didn't do anything. But sleep. Isn't that weird??? So I reached out and touched his head because well...it was dark and I didn't know if he was looking at me or not. And I had to know. He wasn't. Thanks be to baby Jesus!!
I lay back down. TV is off. Music is off. I am telling myself that it's time to sleep. Whether I want to or not. And Q yells. LOUD. And it came out something like, "whassit!" I nearly pissed the bed. I look to the door because I wonder if I need to take someone out and nobody is there. And his head is still perched on his damn hands!!!! What is going on in this house??? I whisper to him, "what?' I get no answer of course because even when he sleeps, he has selective hearing. A little louder this time, "what?" "whassit!" I am totally baffled and almost afraid to talk because my heart is racing so bad already. "Quintin why did you yell?" He drops his head down on the pillow and says to me, "I don't know." Snore. You've gotta be kidding me here peeps!
One thing I did notice though is that when his head was perched, he didn't once twitch. Not once!! I think I'm on to something here. I laid there and patted myself on the back for that one. I'm sure I've just discovered some medical mystery. They can call this cure the Shellie-sleep-away.
Okay so he yelled and I nearly pissed and shit the bed. Excuse my language but I just have to be frank with you about this. I need you to understand that he scared the bejeezus right out of me. Within a second of him going right back to sleep, he flopped over to my side of the bed. Now this is serious. We have a 7ft king size bed. Why does he need this much room??? We have discussed this. I hate it when someone is touching me when I'm sleeping. Or trying to sleep. I guess I wasn't doing either at this point but I still didn't want him touching me.
And his butt, of all things, was on my knee. Ugh you've got to be kidding me!!! As I tried to decide the best route out of this mess, he farts. ON. MY. KNEE. Well, there was his underwear and blanket and my blanket (yes, we have our own) between his blow hole and my knee but that is just gross! I can appreciate a good fart like the rest but you don't fart on people. What if they shart and don't know it??? Oh my goodness I can't bear to think about it. Of course AFTER he farts, he felt that was a great time to roll back to his zip code. Dude you have a serious ass gas problem. I love you but sometimes you're a dick. Take that.
At the beginning of the night, when he immediately fell asleep, I checked his pulse to make sure he was breathing because he was sleeping so quietly. I couldn't even feel if his chest was rising. Had I known what was in store, I would have just taken the chance on waking up to a cold fish. Oh well, can't go back now, can we??? There's another thing I don't understand. How someone...anyone...can sleep that still; that quiet. I'm pretty sure I have never slept like that in my lifetime. I think it's time we invest in a video recorder and tape ourselves sleeping. I just gotta know!
So by now it's about 5:00am and I have resolved to get a near 2 hours sleep if it kills me. Everything is off...but the fan...and his heater...and I am talking myself down. When his alarm goes off. I'm serious people. I can't make this shit up! And what do you think he did? He hit snooze. So I KNEW that in 15 minutes, that damn alarm was going off again. F*** it, I am starting a blog list before I forget what just happened here this night. So tap tap tap I go. And 15 minutes later, I am done and the alarm goes off and we both get up.
I could have "slept" another hour and a half but come on, who are we trying to fool here? Got another load of laundry done before I went to work. Today at work, I find out I am one of four people that are close to me (in work and in proximity), that have been awake since 3:00am or earlier. I think it's time to start a middle-of-the-night coffee club. What the hell else do we have to do at that time of the night? Apparently not sleep!!!
So now it's 10:45 and I am going strong. I have made a mountainous homemade pizza, did 710 ab crunches on my lounger, showered, talked to a friend on the phone, and typed up this blog. Go me!
How was your day???
2013/02/28
2013/02/27
You took me by surprise
Well I am upright and out-and-about. I had, what seems to be, a nasty case of the flu. It came fast and hard and with little-to-no warning at all. Actually, when I left work at midnight on Friday night, I thought I was in for a head cold. I wasn't particularly wrong on that part. I did get a head cold. I can handle those though. It's what followed that stunned me. Literally.
When I got home, there lay Q in bed, Bella in her pack-n-play. She was spending the weekend with us because baby sister decided it was time to "meet the rents." Anyway, they were both sound asleep when I got home. When Q called me earlier in the night, he said that Miss Bella wasn't feeling very well so I knew a rough night could be in store for us. I laid down and it wasn't long before Bella got to coughing and eventually, woke herself up. She was miserable, the poor little thing.
So, just as I thought, it was a long night. For more reasons than one. Right now is where I will praise my husband to the high Heavens for getting that toilet installed upstairs. During our ins-and-outs of sleep (or lack there of), my bladder decided it needed some attention. I get up out of bed and the pain that shot through my back...both upper and lower...made me cry out a little bit. Had Miss Bella not been there, that cry would have been louder. A LOT louder.
So there I went...one slow step at a time...half bent over...towards the future master bed/bath. By the time I got there, my bladder was completely laughing at me. I was almost in tears. And I almost made it!! And the whole time I'm thinking, "What the hell is wrong with me???" So I head downstairs. I figured it was just a backache and it would be okay by morning so no big deal. But for it to slow my walking was a whole other issue. I get cleaned up and headed back upstairs. (Now to just get that sink hooked up)
As I headed upstairs, I noticed my knees were starting to ache. The flu never once entered my thoughts. So back to sleep I go. And I was exhausted. You'd have thought I had just climbed Mt. Everest rather than 13 steps to my top floor. Bella woke up a few more times and I just let Q deal with her because it seemed any time I wanted to lift my head off of my pillow, someone had strapped it down...to the pillow...which was strapped down...to the bed.
At some point in the early morning, my bladder thought it would f*ck around with me some more, so again...trudging along with my head hanging down below my ass cheeks...back screaming at me...knees crying...ankles crackling...and get this...my toes felt like they were pin cushions...with the pins IN them!!! It went wrong. Again. Nearly pissing myself again as I get to the toilet. At this point, I didn't even care what was going on with me. I just wanted to go to sleep and not have to deal with it.
Back downstairs, make a bottle for baby and head back up. I remember just standing at the base of the stairs and looking up. Buddy was standing there looking at me, his head cocked to the side, wondering what was taking me so long to go back to bed so HE could go back to bed! I started the trek up and got about halfway before I realized 13 steps is a long way...when you feel like the ass-crack of a hyena being drug along a paved road.
I crawled the last 4 steps and got back to bed. Gave the bottle to Q and told him he was on his own. And he was. And he did a great job. The whole weekend! He took care of Miss Bella and kept her fevers at bay while I stayed in my bed and slept...and slept...and slept...and slept...and slept. It was never-ending. Total waking hours for Saturday and Sunday=6. Seemed like forever though, those 6 hours.
All I wanted to do was sleep because to stay awake meant to move. To move meant to hurt. And by Saturday afternoon, it hurt to bite into anything. It hurt to text. It hurt to watch tv. This is ON TOP of the body aches I already had! I have never in my life experienced this. I prayed to God more than once, to please not let me have Fibromyalgia. I gotta hand it to you people that have that...you are strong. You have to be.
I consider myself pretty strong when it comes to pain but this just sprinted toward me and cut me off at the knees. And ankles. And toes. And hips. You get the drift. Never had body aches until I had THESE body aches. Dammit man, I don't want to go through that EVER again!
So, I missed a couple days of work and stayed in bed the whole time. The next two days were my days off and I wasn't any more chipper on those days. The last day though, I made myself get out and go to the store. It was nice to breathe some fresh air but the sight of snow hurt my eyes and my head. Now I know how vampires feel.
Something did happen while I was at the store that was a complete shock and surprise to me. Here I am...just got down aisle 1 and turning to go up aisle 3...when I start to get this small cramp in the calf of my left leg. I just keep walking. As I am going up the aisle though, my right left starts to do the same thing. I'm pretty sure I got a little anxious at the thought of getting charley horses or something to the effect, in the grocery store. That would be embarrassing. Flailing around like a fish out of water...in the middle of Fareway.
My doctor always told me to take my cholesterol meds before bedtime because it's better to get a cramp at home, at night, than while you're working or walking. I'm here to tell you...that's BS! I walked, I cramped, I walked, I cramped, I walked, I cramped. Eventually, I walked right out of those cramps. I hate getting cramps in my sleep so I don't know WHY those doctors say to take that medicine at night. I never did anyway so HA!
Today is day 5. I am better. Not 100% as you can imagine. Looking at the monitors makes me want to twist my own head off and stomp on it about 72 times but I will live. I will make it through the day. Besides, my neck hurts so bad today that if I did try to twist my head off, I would have to stop and slap myself for additional neck pain. So where would I really be, other than in a corner beating myself to death?
I am signing off for now. Got lots to catch up on. I hope you're well.
When I got home, there lay Q in bed, Bella in her pack-n-play. She was spending the weekend with us because baby sister decided it was time to "meet the rents." Anyway, they were both sound asleep when I got home. When Q called me earlier in the night, he said that Miss Bella wasn't feeling very well so I knew a rough night could be in store for us. I laid down and it wasn't long before Bella got to coughing and eventually, woke herself up. She was miserable, the poor little thing.
So, just as I thought, it was a long night. For more reasons than one. Right now is where I will praise my husband to the high Heavens for getting that toilet installed upstairs. During our ins-and-outs of sleep (or lack there of), my bladder decided it needed some attention. I get up out of bed and the pain that shot through my back...both upper and lower...made me cry out a little bit. Had Miss Bella not been there, that cry would have been louder. A LOT louder.
So there I went...one slow step at a time...half bent over...towards the future master bed/bath. By the time I got there, my bladder was completely laughing at me. I was almost in tears. And I almost made it!! And the whole time I'm thinking, "What the hell is wrong with me???" So I head downstairs. I figured it was just a backache and it would be okay by morning so no big deal. But for it to slow my walking was a whole other issue. I get cleaned up and headed back upstairs. (Now to just get that sink hooked up)
As I headed upstairs, I noticed my knees were starting to ache. The flu never once entered my thoughts. So back to sleep I go. And I was exhausted. You'd have thought I had just climbed Mt. Everest rather than 13 steps to my top floor. Bella woke up a few more times and I just let Q deal with her because it seemed any time I wanted to lift my head off of my pillow, someone had strapped it down...to the pillow...which was strapped down...to the bed.
At some point in the early morning, my bladder thought it would f*ck around with me some more, so again...trudging along with my head hanging down below my ass cheeks...back screaming at me...knees crying...ankles crackling...and get this...my toes felt like they were pin cushions...with the pins IN them!!! It went wrong. Again. Nearly pissing myself again as I get to the toilet. At this point, I didn't even care what was going on with me. I just wanted to go to sleep and not have to deal with it.
Back downstairs, make a bottle for baby and head back up. I remember just standing at the base of the stairs and looking up. Buddy was standing there looking at me, his head cocked to the side, wondering what was taking me so long to go back to bed so HE could go back to bed! I started the trek up and got about halfway before I realized 13 steps is a long way...when you feel like the ass-crack of a hyena being drug along a paved road.
I crawled the last 4 steps and got back to bed. Gave the bottle to Q and told him he was on his own. And he was. And he did a great job. The whole weekend! He took care of Miss Bella and kept her fevers at bay while I stayed in my bed and slept...and slept...and slept...and slept...and slept. It was never-ending. Total waking hours for Saturday and Sunday=6. Seemed like forever though, those 6 hours.
All I wanted to do was sleep because to stay awake meant to move. To move meant to hurt. And by Saturday afternoon, it hurt to bite into anything. It hurt to text. It hurt to watch tv. This is ON TOP of the body aches I already had! I have never in my life experienced this. I prayed to God more than once, to please not let me have Fibromyalgia. I gotta hand it to you people that have that...you are strong. You have to be.
I consider myself pretty strong when it comes to pain but this just sprinted toward me and cut me off at the knees. And ankles. And toes. And hips. You get the drift. Never had body aches until I had THESE body aches. Dammit man, I don't want to go through that EVER again!
So, I missed a couple days of work and stayed in bed the whole time. The next two days were my days off and I wasn't any more chipper on those days. The last day though, I made myself get out and go to the store. It was nice to breathe some fresh air but the sight of snow hurt my eyes and my head. Now I know how vampires feel.
Something did happen while I was at the store that was a complete shock and surprise to me. Here I am...just got down aisle 1 and turning to go up aisle 3...when I start to get this small cramp in the calf of my left leg. I just keep walking. As I am going up the aisle though, my right left starts to do the same thing. I'm pretty sure I got a little anxious at the thought of getting charley horses or something to the effect, in the grocery store. That would be embarrassing. Flailing around like a fish out of water...in the middle of Fareway.
My doctor always told me to take my cholesterol meds before bedtime because it's better to get a cramp at home, at night, than while you're working or walking. I'm here to tell you...that's BS! I walked, I cramped, I walked, I cramped, I walked, I cramped. Eventually, I walked right out of those cramps. I hate getting cramps in my sleep so I don't know WHY those doctors say to take that medicine at night. I never did anyway so HA!
Today is day 5. I am better. Not 100% as you can imagine. Looking at the monitors makes me want to twist my own head off and stomp on it about 72 times but I will live. I will make it through the day. Besides, my neck hurts so bad today that if I did try to twist my head off, I would have to stop and slap myself for additional neck pain. So where would I really be, other than in a corner beating myself to death?
I am signing off for now. Got lots to catch up on. I hope you're well.
2013/02/12
911 what is the location of your emergency?
I think when I get old.....and I mean old.....I am going to be fun. For those of you that think I'm a barrel of laughs now...just wait. I plan to get better at it. And for the most part, we will have Facebook to thank for it.
I am going to be one of those old women that push her lifeline button just to see if any cute firemen or policemen show up. AND...when they do, Quintin will be sitting there...shaking his head...laughing because I did it. Yep, I can't wait.
Did you know it's a misdemeanor...punishable by law...to call 911 to report something that is in fact, not an emergency? Man...if only I had a badge, a night stick and a flashlight. There would be enough job security to keep me in paychecks for years after I'm dead. Wait.....did I make any sense? Oh well... I did to me. Let's move on.
I feel sorry for the old people that call 911 because they feel they can't call anyone else. Like their families. Or their neighbors. Or their friends. Hell, most of their friends would probably do the same thing anyway because they all think alike.
I feel sorry for the old people that call 911 because they are scared of others. Scared of the young people. Scared that someone might be standing outside and they don't know what they are doing. I won't be one of those scared old people though. I'll be that old person that is sitting in prison because I shot some poor lost bastard for standing outside my retirement village, map in hand, wondering just HOW the hell he got where he did!
Yeah...and then from prison, I am going to call 911. Just to see if any cute jailers or deputies show up. Yes siree...that will be me. I better plan this out a little better because I know what deputies and jailers are in MY county. I want cute ones.
Here's a few examples of people that have called 911 that I don't feel sorry for though.
I don't feel sorry for that complete idiot that calls and tells me that someone is driving aggressively and at a high rate of speed. And they KNOW how fast the car is going that they are complaining about because they have or are, followed or following them at equal amounts of speed.
"I'm calling to report this jackass who is driving aggressively. They are driving over 95 mph because I have been trying to catch them at 95 mph for 10 minutes and can't seem to catch them." It takes a special kind of stupid to do this. Not only is the jackass putting yours, theirs and everyone else's lives on the line, but YOU sir...or YOU ma'am...are doing the exact same thing.
And then they follow it up with "No, I did not get a license plate. Description? Well...it was a blue truck...wait, my kid says it was a blue SUV..." And so it goes. If you can't give me some GOOD information...and some GOOD descriptions...how do you expect me and my deputies/troops/officers, to stop this person and do what they need to do?
And if you only remember ONE thing about calling 911, from me tonight. I hope it is the importance of telling us WHERE. Not necessarily where you are; but where the help is needed at. You could be across town and get a phone call from a friend or loved one getting mugged and if you tell me to send my officers to you...you just cost your friend or loved one some serious time getting help.
I am not going to get into all of the "do's and dont's" of calling 911. Because simply...I would leave something out and then all my co-workers would be on my ass. And all the other dispatchers, officers, EMS, and firemen on my Facebook that read my stuff. Stalkers!
If you are calling for an ambulance and you know someone's health history...I'll take it. Heart condition? Cancer patient? Stroke history? I don't care if the person is having an allergic reaction. I want that info. And if you can tell me what they're allergic to, give me that as well. If you think it's worth mentioning, I'll be sure to pass it along. Our EMS need to know everything we can tell them.
If you are calling because someone is putting your life, or someone else's life, at risk... please please please tell us if there are any weapons involved. If you know of either party even having a weapoon, we need to know this. We need to tell our law enforcement so that they can be protected when they get on the scene. The last thing I want is for anybody to get seriously hurt.
If you have a burning building and everybody is out of there and there is no potention harm to you or your people, please please please (and maybe I'm asking too much here, I don't know), give me the address as slowly and calmly as you can. Remember, your house... your belongings...can be replaced. Your life cannot. When someone is screaming at me to get a "fire truck here because my house is burning down" and everybody is out....how am I going to know where to send them? "Here" does not always come up on my map.
Now...let's lighten things up a little bit.
Here's a couple of examples of situations I can't help but laugh at. And keep in mind...they called 911 for these.
"Hi can I talk to my mommy?"
"Ummm I'm in the wind turbine at "such and such" street and well.....I'm out of toilet paper and sitting on the toilet."
"There is a kid at my front door and I am afraid to answer it."
"Can you tell me where I'm at? I was just in Missouri an hour ago."
My favorite call...and this one wasn't even a 911 call...was a couple of kids messing around on the phone. I answer the work phone and this kid (sounded to be around 8 years old) says to me, "You have just won $1,000!" Now...mind you, I have JUST answered the phone for my Sheriff's Department and given my name. The kid obviously wasn't paying attention. Here's how the rest of the conversation went:
ME: Excuse me?
HE: You have just won $1,000
ME: Do you know you called the Sheriff's Office?
HE: click
ME: dial dial dial-dial dial dial dial
MOM: Hello
ME: This is Shellie from the Sheriff's Office. Do you have a couple of young boys running around there playing?
MOM: Sure do.
ME: Well one just called me and told me I won $1,000 and when I told him where he had called, he hung up.
MOM: Oh really??? Well I will have to see about this.
ME: Does this mean I don't get the money?
MOM: Sorry, unless he's willing to work it off, I think you're out of luck!
Hey, I tried!
I kid you not. We get calls like this everyday. And there's some that are so outrageous...I can't mention them. Remember, we are human. We have feelings and we have hearts. We do care. And just because it sounds like we're not upset when you call, it's because we have to keep our voices and our emotions in tact until we get everybody TO you, or TO the place of emergency, that is needed.
The ones that really tear me apart are the ones where someone is so upset...or so choked up... or so out of it...that they can't even get the information out; or where children are involved, of course. But my promise to you is that I will do my best. I will get you who you need, as fast as I can...as long as you can tell me who that is and where that is.
The last example I want to mention before I close out is about your old cell phones. I know that I have said this over and over and over and over again but I think some people just don't get it. When I answer a 911 call and all I hear is a child on the other end, playing with a phone, how do you expect me to decipher if that child is just playing with the phone or if that child needs help? Or if mommy, daddy, sister or brother needs help? I can't SEE the other end of that phone line.
If you have an old cell phone that you don't use and you give it to your kids to play with... they can still call 911 with it as long as the battery is in it. If you want to keep it around for emergency's sake...by all means, have at it! But keep it in a safe place so little "playing" hands can't tie up my 911 lines for no reason. Otherwise, take the battery out of it before giving it to your children to play with.
Thanks for reading! Enjoy your night!
I am going to be one of those old women that push her lifeline button just to see if any cute firemen or policemen show up. AND...when they do, Quintin will be sitting there...shaking his head...laughing because I did it. Yep, I can't wait.
Did you know it's a misdemeanor...punishable by law...to call 911 to report something that is in fact, not an emergency? Man...if only I had a badge, a night stick and a flashlight. There would be enough job security to keep me in paychecks for years after I'm dead. Wait.....did I make any sense? Oh well... I did to me. Let's move on.
I feel sorry for the old people that call 911 because they feel they can't call anyone else. Like their families. Or their neighbors. Or their friends. Hell, most of their friends would probably do the same thing anyway because they all think alike.
I feel sorry for the old people that call 911 because they are scared of others. Scared of the young people. Scared that someone might be standing outside and they don't know what they are doing. I won't be one of those scared old people though. I'll be that old person that is sitting in prison because I shot some poor lost bastard for standing outside my retirement village, map in hand, wondering just HOW the hell he got where he did!
Yeah...and then from prison, I am going to call 911. Just to see if any cute jailers or deputies show up. Yes siree...that will be me. I better plan this out a little better because I know what deputies and jailers are in MY county. I want cute ones.
Here's a few examples of people that have called 911 that I don't feel sorry for though.
I don't feel sorry for that complete idiot that calls and tells me that someone is driving aggressively and at a high rate of speed. And they KNOW how fast the car is going that they are complaining about because they have or are, followed or following them at equal amounts of speed.
"I'm calling to report this jackass who is driving aggressively. They are driving over 95 mph because I have been trying to catch them at 95 mph for 10 minutes and can't seem to catch them." It takes a special kind of stupid to do this. Not only is the jackass putting yours, theirs and everyone else's lives on the line, but YOU sir...or YOU ma'am...are doing the exact same thing.
And then they follow it up with "No, I did not get a license plate. Description? Well...it was a blue truck...wait, my kid says it was a blue SUV..." And so it goes. If you can't give me some GOOD information...and some GOOD descriptions...how do you expect me and my deputies/troops/officers, to stop this person and do what they need to do?
And if you only remember ONE thing about calling 911, from me tonight. I hope it is the importance of telling us WHERE. Not necessarily where you are; but where the help is needed at. You could be across town and get a phone call from a friend or loved one getting mugged and if you tell me to send my officers to you...you just cost your friend or loved one some serious time getting help.
I am not going to get into all of the "do's and dont's" of calling 911. Because simply...I would leave something out and then all my co-workers would be on my ass. And all the other dispatchers, officers, EMS, and firemen on my Facebook that read my stuff. Stalkers!
If you are calling for an ambulance and you know someone's health history...I'll take it. Heart condition? Cancer patient? Stroke history? I don't care if the person is having an allergic reaction. I want that info. And if you can tell me what they're allergic to, give me that as well. If you think it's worth mentioning, I'll be sure to pass it along. Our EMS need to know everything we can tell them.
If you are calling because someone is putting your life, or someone else's life, at risk... please please please tell us if there are any weapons involved. If you know of either party even having a weapoon, we need to know this. We need to tell our law enforcement so that they can be protected when they get on the scene. The last thing I want is for anybody to get seriously hurt.
If you have a burning building and everybody is out of there and there is no potention harm to you or your people, please please please (and maybe I'm asking too much here, I don't know), give me the address as slowly and calmly as you can. Remember, your house... your belongings...can be replaced. Your life cannot. When someone is screaming at me to get a "fire truck here because my house is burning down" and everybody is out....how am I going to know where to send them? "Here" does not always come up on my map.
Now...let's lighten things up a little bit.
Here's a couple of examples of situations I can't help but laugh at. And keep in mind...they called 911 for these.
"Hi can I talk to my mommy?"
"Ummm I'm in the wind turbine at "such and such" street and well.....I'm out of toilet paper and sitting on the toilet."
"There is a kid at my front door and I am afraid to answer it."
"Can you tell me where I'm at? I was just in Missouri an hour ago."
My favorite call...and this one wasn't even a 911 call...was a couple of kids messing around on the phone. I answer the work phone and this kid (sounded to be around 8 years old) says to me, "You have just won $1,000!" Now...mind you, I have JUST answered the phone for my Sheriff's Department and given my name. The kid obviously wasn't paying attention. Here's how the rest of the conversation went:
ME: Excuse me?
HE: You have just won $1,000
ME: Do you know you called the Sheriff's Office?
HE: click
ME: dial dial dial-dial dial dial dial
MOM: Hello
ME: This is Shellie from the Sheriff's Office. Do you have a couple of young boys running around there playing?
MOM: Sure do.
ME: Well one just called me and told me I won $1,000 and when I told him where he had called, he hung up.
MOM: Oh really??? Well I will have to see about this.
ME: Does this mean I don't get the money?
MOM: Sorry, unless he's willing to work it off, I think you're out of luck!
Hey, I tried!
I kid you not. We get calls like this everyday. And there's some that are so outrageous...I can't mention them. Remember, we are human. We have feelings and we have hearts. We do care. And just because it sounds like we're not upset when you call, it's because we have to keep our voices and our emotions in tact until we get everybody TO you, or TO the place of emergency, that is needed.
The ones that really tear me apart are the ones where someone is so upset...or so choked up... or so out of it...that they can't even get the information out; or where children are involved, of course. But my promise to you is that I will do my best. I will get you who you need, as fast as I can...as long as you can tell me who that is and where that is.
The last example I want to mention before I close out is about your old cell phones. I know that I have said this over and over and over and over again but I think some people just don't get it. When I answer a 911 call and all I hear is a child on the other end, playing with a phone, how do you expect me to decipher if that child is just playing with the phone or if that child needs help? Or if mommy, daddy, sister or brother needs help? I can't SEE the other end of that phone line.
If you have an old cell phone that you don't use and you give it to your kids to play with... they can still call 911 with it as long as the battery is in it. If you want to keep it around for emergency's sake...by all means, have at it! But keep it in a safe place so little "playing" hands can't tie up my 911 lines for no reason. Otherwise, take the battery out of it before giving it to your children to play with.
Thanks for reading! Enjoy your night!
2013/02/10
Quite Possibly the next Almost Naked Chef
I don't know where I heard of this recipe. I don't know where I saw it. I was at the store and it came to me. I heard the angels singing on high as I purchased the simple ingredients.
Came home from a most boring day at work today knowing that I had no excuse but to...not only exercise for today...but to exercise for one of the two others I didn't exercise on. I'm a bad, bad girl.
To get myself motivated, I went upstairs to see what Quintin had been doing. These two pictures are what he has been working on so hard the past couple of days. And to think...it has only set for a year (or more).
It's getting there. This time I had to get mean though. I told him if it wasn't 90% done by October 15th, he would have to forego trapping season next year. Of course, I didn't say I would forego it. Just him. Hehehe
So that made me happy that I could finally walk across the new floor and actually see where everything was going to be hooked up. As soon as we purchase them.
Toilet. Shower. Flooring. Oh yeah, we have to sheetrock and mud. Orange peel. Yada yada yada. I just want to be able to pee upstairs for a change. I mean without squatting in a corner and hoping nobody sees me.
Downstairs I go. Close the blinds and all the curtains because I have decided to wear my "creation clothes." Today's "creation clothes" consisted of underwear, bra, and an apron. Now maybe you understand why I ask people to call before they just stop by??!!??
I don't know what to call these things. Stuffed biscuits? I don't know. Here's what I did.
Open your can of biscuits. Or as many as you possibly want to use. I hold my can tight because I hate it when it explodes in my hands. It scares me every time so I choose to peel the paper a little bit and twist it myself. I'm sure it's keeps about 7 minutes on the end of my life at some point.
So you have your biscuits out on the counter now. Spray the counter that you're using because when rolling your biscuits out with a roller, it tends to make your biscuit stick.
I put 10 biscuits on a sprayed cookie sheet/jelly roll pan. Next, add your sauce. I used regular tomato sauce because I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out. Like I
said...I don't know WHERE this recipe came from at all. I
think the next time I make them, I am going to try using
salsa on them instead of tomato sauce; just to see how it would taste.
Next, I added the seasonings. I used a little oregano, added some Italian seasonings because there were more of a mixture in it. Put a little garlic powder on there because my husband and I hate it when vampires try to get us at night. Trust me when I say there's enough garlic/garlic powder in us to keep vampires away for decades!!!
Next, I added the meat. I used deer meat because well.....that's the kind of hamburger we USUALLY eat when it's just me and the husband. I will allow you to use whatever meat you want to use though. There is absolutely no wrong way to make this!
Keep in mind, while putting the ingredients on top of these biscuits, that the biscuit has to fold over. If you put too much stuff on it, your biscuit won't stretch. It will just make a hole in the top and then it just looks funny... but still very edible. -_- I just try to keep mine all to one side of the biscuit.
Next comes the cheese. Yummy yummy cheese! I love love love cheese. I don't know why I didn't make some cheese ones for me and give Quintin the meat ones but I didn't and that's ok. Next time I'll know!
Now it was time to go in the oven. If I would have had some pepperoni, I would have added those as well; but I didn't. This time. And I did have jalapenos in the fridge and didn't even think about putting one of those on each of these little beauties. Oh well...as I said, maybe next time!!!
Now you take one end of the biscuit and roll it over to the other side. At first, I tried to roll the edges around and tuck them but it got messy and those biscuits aren't as thick as they look, once you roll them out. No matter.
Before I put them in the oven, I thought I could either brush the tops of these little babies with melted butter or I could put a spoon full of tomato sauce on top with a little bit of seasoning and cheese. I chose the sauce/seasoning/cheese mixture simply because I didn't want to melt the butter. I was feeling lazy. Sue me.
These things went into the oven and I couldn't wait to get them out. Of course, I had NO idea how long to even cook them either. The biscuit package said 10-13 minutes so I checked them after 13 and they weren't quite cooked. I think I ended up leaving them in there for about 20 minutes total.
In the twenty minutes it took these to cook, I was able to get in 250 ab crunches on the AB Lounger. Worked out great!
And here they are:
From the pan...
To the plate.
I see about 200 more crunches in my immediate future. And that's just for tonight.
I think sometime I am going to make a variation of a white sauce with spinach and some spaghetti noodles. And maybe I will do one with sausage gravy in the middle. Who knows what I will come up with!
My work here is done. Time to hang up the apron, put on some clothes and take a power nap. Quintin wanted me to make more. So I did. Wife-of-the-year? Yes please! -_-
Came home from a most boring day at work today knowing that I had no excuse but to...not only exercise for today...but to exercise for one of the two others I didn't exercise on. I'm a bad, bad girl.
To get myself motivated, I went upstairs to see what Quintin had been doing. These two pictures are what he has been working on so hard the past couple of days. And to think...it has only set for a year (or more).
It's getting there. This time I had to get mean though. I told him if it wasn't 90% done by October 15th, he would have to forego trapping season next year. Of course, I didn't say I would forego it. Just him. Hehehe
So that made me happy that I could finally walk across the new floor and actually see where everything was going to be hooked up. As soon as we purchase them.
Toilet. Shower. Flooring. Oh yeah, we have to sheetrock and mud. Orange peel. Yada yada yada. I just want to be able to pee upstairs for a change. I mean without squatting in a corner and hoping nobody sees me.
Downstairs I go. Close the blinds and all the curtains because I have decided to wear my "creation clothes." Today's "creation clothes" consisted of underwear, bra, and an apron. Now maybe you understand why I ask people to call before they just stop by??!!??
I don't know what to call these things. Stuffed biscuits? I don't know. Here's what I did.
So you have your biscuits out on the counter now. Spray the counter that you're using because when rolling your biscuits out with a roller, it tends to make your biscuit stick. I put 10 biscuits on a sprayed cookie sheet/jelly roll pan. Next, add your sauce. I used regular tomato sauce because I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out. Like I
said...I don't know WHERE this recipe came from at all. I
think the next time I make them, I am going to try using
salsa on them instead of tomato sauce; just to see how it would taste.
Next, I added the seasonings. I used a little oregano, added some Italian seasonings because there were more of a mixture in it. Put a little garlic powder on there because my husband and I hate it when vampires try to get us at night. Trust me when I say there's enough garlic/garlic powder in us to keep vampires away for decades!!!
Next, I added the meat. I used deer meat because well.....that's the kind of hamburger we USUALLY eat when it's just me and the husband. I will allow you to use whatever meat you want to use though. There is absolutely no wrong way to make this!
Keep in mind, while putting the ingredients on top of these biscuits, that the biscuit has to fold over. If you put too much stuff on it, your biscuit won't stretch. It will just make a hole in the top and then it just looks funny... but still very edible. -_- I just try to keep mine all to one side of the biscuit.
Next comes the cheese. Yummy yummy cheese! I love love love cheese. I don't know why I didn't make some cheese ones for me and give Quintin the meat ones but I didn't and that's ok. Next time I'll know!
Now you take one end of the biscuit and roll it over to the other side. At first, I tried to roll the edges around and tuck them but it got messy and those biscuits aren't as thick as they look, once you roll them out. No matter.
These things went into the oven and I couldn't wait to get them out. Of course, I had NO idea how long to even cook them either. The biscuit package said 10-13 minutes so I checked them after 13 and they weren't quite cooked. I think I ended up leaving them in there for about 20 minutes total.
In the twenty minutes it took these to cook, I was able to get in 250 ab crunches on the AB Lounger. Worked out great!
From the pan...
I see about 200 more crunches in my immediate future. And that's just for tonight.
I think sometime I am going to make a variation of a white sauce with spinach and some spaghetti noodles. And maybe I will do one with sausage gravy in the middle. Who knows what I will come up with!
My work here is done. Time to hang up the apron, put on some clothes and take a power nap. Quintin wanted me to make more. So I did. Wife-of-the-year? Yes please! -_-
2013/02/07
Now taking applications...for a right hand
Before I get going here, I just want to say that ANYTIME corn bread is involved, there should also be ham and beans. I'm just putting it out there for the powers-that-be.
So Miss Bella spend the night last night with me. She accompanied me to Des Moines yesterday and helped me grocery shop. Helped. If shoving a handcuff key in her poor little gums is help, well she did a bang up job. No pun intended. Poor little girl. And she didn't want to give it up either. I don't know how she thought that stupid key was going to give her any relief by chewing on it. But hey, to each their own.
I decided I need to take a "helper" with me when we had loaded the groceries into the trunk and took the cart back to get my twenty five cents returned. I picked Bella up out of the cart and just as I put the blanket over her head, she had taken her stocking hat off and threw it to the ground. Grrrr. So here I am with a baby...with a blanket over her head, my purse on my arm...and I have to bend over and pick up this damn hat. And I did. As I came back up, my purse fell to the ground. Shat! I picked that up and by this time, I can tell Bella is getting pretty damn sick of that blanket over the top of her. So as I come back up with purse in hand, she throws the flippin blanket to the ground! Are you really really kidding me here people??? How the HELL do parents do this shit day to day??? I definitely wasn't cut out to the a mommy, I tell you that much.
However, I do love playing the part of the aunt.
I have a bib that I put on Bella when we eat. It says "Hi. I'm new here." I thought it was cute when I got it because she was "new" to us. Apparently the ladies at Perkins thought it was the cutest thing they had ever seen because every one of them had to come over and read it. Of course, that got us the hugest cookie this side of, well, .....my head! Wow!!! Thanks gals!!! I really didn't think it was THAT funny to the public. Meh, what do I know, huh??
We had just finished lunch, sitting at a stop light and I am chattering away to Bella because she's so tired and I had ONE more store to go to before I wanted her to fall asleep. As we are sitting there and I am going non-stop with my big mouth, I look over to my left and there's this man in this black shiny sedan. I see a kleenex hanging out of his nose...and I barely saw that because.....his WHOLE flipping pinky finger was UP HIS NOSE!!! I kid you not! I'm sure he was digging for an idea before he got to the office!!
And I didn't just glance at him either. We had plenty of time because we were about 3rd in line and it had JUST turned red when we got up there. Soooo.....I just sat there and watched him. And he never once noticed that I was watching one of the stupidest looking train wrecks of the day. Ok so...his right pinky finger was shoved up somewhere behind his eyeballs and he kept twisting and turning it. Around and back and around and back. You get the picture. NO? Well stick your right pinky finger up your nose and twist it and turn it. You'll get it in no time.
And as if that didn't make him look dumb enough...he had his fingers all fanned out so that it looked like he was waving at me. Had he looked my way, I had already decided to wave back at him. I'm seroius when I say that I sat and watched him for a good 10 seconds. The light turned green and we took off. Luckily he turned left because couldn't you just see me driving down 22nd Street gawking at the guy beside me whose finger was stuck in his brain???
After I got across the intersection...and got finished telling Bella how gross some people are in public...a thought came to mind. That was a HELL of a kleenex! Now I'm wishing he would have went straight because I might have just followed him and asked him, "Where, oh WHERE did you ever find Brawny kleenex?" I mean, the way he was twisting and turning that finger....I don't know that any ordinary tissue would have withstood such abuse. Holy bananas. I will have to keep an eye out for that stuff!
And my last thought on it was that the tissue had probably given out but he couldn't take it out and lick it until after he had gotten by me. HA! You're welcome for that!!!
Onward we go. To the last store of the day. And for those counting, that was only 2 stores. Aldi's and then Gordman's. I picked me out a pair of new jeans that I desperately need. Guess what? They are a size smaller!! SCORE!!! I have lost a total of 16 lbs and am keeping it off. I love it. Now to talk my husband into buying me another pair.....or two. We stalked the whole childrens department looking for something special for Bella but only came across a stocking hat...that is a girls hat (mommy, that's a side note for you)! It was on clearance and it was lavendar striped. Of course I loved it and she wore it the whole time in the store. With the mittens firmly attached at the top of the hat! HA!
Soon, Miss Bella will have to have her own dresser at our house. She almost has as many clothes as I have! And she needs them too because she gets her clothes changed about 3 times per day with me. Hahaha! She is newly outfitted with pajamas and socks so momma doesn't have to pack so much stuff to go between houses. I think I'm going to have to get a stroller for me though. I mean for Bella for my car. Damn, I wish I could sit in a stroller and have someone push me around the stores all day!
We were scouting the store because Bella wanted to get a Valentine's Day present for her momma and daddy and we saw the funniest site. No, not the nose picking Brawny. This woman...dressed to the nines...tight black pants (I think they were pants; don't think she was black), black sparkly long-sleeved sweater, hair in a ponytail...and high-heeled boots to her thighs...with fur around the top of them! She simply looked like the worse poodle I had ever seen!
And if that wasn't enough.....her child was dressed JUST. LIKE. HER (minus the high heels)!!! Oh my gerd, why don't people look in a mirror before leaving the house??? I'm sorry but if you think every outfit you see in a magazine is "hip," "cool," or "in," you are a COMPLETE. IDIOT. From me to you. And you're welcome. Models that are 3 inches in circumference can pull off things that normal people cannot. But this my friends...this outfit should not have been pulled off by ANY. ONE. PERSON.
We went to Atlantic for dinner last night with Kathy and Jackie. We ate at "The Feedlot" Steakhouse. It was a nice place. We hadn't ever eaten there before. If I had to "take it or leave it" though, I would definitely leave it. Overpriced food that didn't really have much taste to it. Even the homemade onion rings were taste-and-life-less! Sad. But it's always good to try new things and we had been wanting to try it. We did and we're done.
Oh, I almost forgot. When we were driving to Atlantic, Quintin says to me, "You would have made a wonderful mom." Of course I laughed and assured him I would not have. He follows that up with, "You are so much fun when we have Bella!" Wait a minute here! Did my husband just tell me that I am not fun unless there is a child involved??? Are you freaking serious??? I. AM. HI-LAR-EE-US!!! I think he's misinformed. He goes on to tell me that when we have Bella, I am a whole different person. Hello husband, it's called "responsible!!!"
He just laughs at me and "assures" me I have many more mom-capabilities than I want to admit. I have seven hundred twenty nine nieces and nephews running around in this world...of course I have some mom-capabilities!!! I just don't want to do it on a daily basis. Unless forced.
There just isn't enough duct tape in the world, I tell ya!
I will leave you with this question that had me wondering all night last night. Why is it after a child has crapped their diaper once or twice, that that is all you smell? I swear Quintin's ass-gas was the same putrid odor that came out of Bella's poopy green butt slime! Why is that???
So Miss Bella spend the night last night with me. She accompanied me to Des Moines yesterday and helped me grocery shop. Helped. If shoving a handcuff key in her poor little gums is help, well she did a bang up job. No pun intended. Poor little girl. And she didn't want to give it up either. I don't know how she thought that stupid key was going to give her any relief by chewing on it. But hey, to each their own.
I decided I need to take a "helper" with me when we had loaded the groceries into the trunk and took the cart back to get my twenty five cents returned. I picked Bella up out of the cart and just as I put the blanket over her head, she had taken her stocking hat off and threw it to the ground. Grrrr. So here I am with a baby...with a blanket over her head, my purse on my arm...and I have to bend over and pick up this damn hat. And I did. As I came back up, my purse fell to the ground. Shat! I picked that up and by this time, I can tell Bella is getting pretty damn sick of that blanket over the top of her. So as I come back up with purse in hand, she throws the flippin blanket to the ground! Are you really really kidding me here people??? How the HELL do parents do this shit day to day??? I definitely wasn't cut out to the a mommy, I tell you that much.
However, I do love playing the part of the aunt.
I have a bib that I put on Bella when we eat. It says "Hi. I'm new here." I thought it was cute when I got it because she was "new" to us. Apparently the ladies at Perkins thought it was the cutest thing they had ever seen because every one of them had to come over and read it. Of course, that got us the hugest cookie this side of, well, .....my head! Wow!!! Thanks gals!!! I really didn't think it was THAT funny to the public. Meh, what do I know, huh??
We had just finished lunch, sitting at a stop light and I am chattering away to Bella because she's so tired and I had ONE more store to go to before I wanted her to fall asleep. As we are sitting there and I am going non-stop with my big mouth, I look over to my left and there's this man in this black shiny sedan. I see a kleenex hanging out of his nose...and I barely saw that because.....his WHOLE flipping pinky finger was UP HIS NOSE!!! I kid you not! I'm sure he was digging for an idea before he got to the office!!
And I didn't just glance at him either. We had plenty of time because we were about 3rd in line and it had JUST turned red when we got up there. Soooo.....I just sat there and watched him. And he never once noticed that I was watching one of the stupidest looking train wrecks of the day. Ok so...his right pinky finger was shoved up somewhere behind his eyeballs and he kept twisting and turning it. Around and back and around and back. You get the picture. NO? Well stick your right pinky finger up your nose and twist it and turn it. You'll get it in no time.
And as if that didn't make him look dumb enough...he had his fingers all fanned out so that it looked like he was waving at me. Had he looked my way, I had already decided to wave back at him. I'm seroius when I say that I sat and watched him for a good 10 seconds. The light turned green and we took off. Luckily he turned left because couldn't you just see me driving down 22nd Street gawking at the guy beside me whose finger was stuck in his brain???
After I got across the intersection...and got finished telling Bella how gross some people are in public...a thought came to mind. That was a HELL of a kleenex! Now I'm wishing he would have went straight because I might have just followed him and asked him, "Where, oh WHERE did you ever find Brawny kleenex?" I mean, the way he was twisting and turning that finger....I don't know that any ordinary tissue would have withstood such abuse. Holy bananas. I will have to keep an eye out for that stuff!
And my last thought on it was that the tissue had probably given out but he couldn't take it out and lick it until after he had gotten by me. HA! You're welcome for that!!!
Onward we go. To the last store of the day. And for those counting, that was only 2 stores. Aldi's and then Gordman's. I picked me out a pair of new jeans that I desperately need. Guess what? They are a size smaller!! SCORE!!! I have lost a total of 16 lbs and am keeping it off. I love it. Now to talk my husband into buying me another pair.....or two. We stalked the whole childrens department looking for something special for Bella but only came across a stocking hat...that is a girls hat (mommy, that's a side note for you)! It was on clearance and it was lavendar striped. Of course I loved it and she wore it the whole time in the store. With the mittens firmly attached at the top of the hat! HA!
Soon, Miss Bella will have to have her own dresser at our house. She almost has as many clothes as I have! And she needs them too because she gets her clothes changed about 3 times per day with me. Hahaha! She is newly outfitted with pajamas and socks so momma doesn't have to pack so much stuff to go between houses. I think I'm going to have to get a stroller for me though. I mean for Bella for my car. Damn, I wish I could sit in a stroller and have someone push me around the stores all day!
We were scouting the store because Bella wanted to get a Valentine's Day present for her momma and daddy and we saw the funniest site. No, not the nose picking Brawny. This woman...dressed to the nines...tight black pants (I think they were pants; don't think she was black), black sparkly long-sleeved sweater, hair in a ponytail...and high-heeled boots to her thighs...with fur around the top of them! She simply looked like the worse poodle I had ever seen!
And if that wasn't enough.....her child was dressed JUST. LIKE. HER (minus the high heels)!!! Oh my gerd, why don't people look in a mirror before leaving the house??? I'm sorry but if you think every outfit you see in a magazine is "hip," "cool," or "in," you are a COMPLETE. IDIOT. From me to you. And you're welcome. Models that are 3 inches in circumference can pull off things that normal people cannot. But this my friends...this outfit should not have been pulled off by ANY. ONE. PERSON.
We went to Atlantic for dinner last night with Kathy and Jackie. We ate at "The Feedlot" Steakhouse. It was a nice place. We hadn't ever eaten there before. If I had to "take it or leave it" though, I would definitely leave it. Overpriced food that didn't really have much taste to it. Even the homemade onion rings were taste-and-life-less! Sad. But it's always good to try new things and we had been wanting to try it. We did and we're done.
Oh, I almost forgot. When we were driving to Atlantic, Quintin says to me, "You would have made a wonderful mom." Of course I laughed and assured him I would not have. He follows that up with, "You are so much fun when we have Bella!" Wait a minute here! Did my husband just tell me that I am not fun unless there is a child involved??? Are you freaking serious??? I. AM. HI-LAR-EE-US!!! I think he's misinformed. He goes on to tell me that when we have Bella, I am a whole different person. Hello husband, it's called "responsible!!!"
He just laughs at me and "assures" me I have many more mom-capabilities than I want to admit. I have seven hundred twenty nine nieces and nephews running around in this world...of course I have some mom-capabilities!!! I just don't want to do it on a daily basis. Unless forced.
There just isn't enough duct tape in the world, I tell ya!
I will leave you with this question that had me wondering all night last night. Why is it after a child has crapped their diaper once or twice, that that is all you smell? I swear Quintin's ass-gas was the same putrid odor that came out of Bella's poopy green butt slime! Why is that???
2013/02/04
Take your status and shove it in your...attic
5 hours ago, a status on one of my friends' Facebook read something to the effect of this couple's one and only car broke down. It needed a part but that part costs money and they don't have any. I will go on further to say that the one counterpart to this couple doesn't have a job. That person hasn't been able to fully hold a job very long since...well...ever. This person is a very nice person. Loves to help people out with whatever they can. The problem is that the person uses the partner's money...that they work for...to help others out.
I guess I would have a little sympathy for this couple if #1-the working counterpart would grow a set and enforce some financial rules for the household. Instead, they are lead around like a puppy on a leash. I would probably have a little sympathy for this couple if #2-the non-working counterpart did anything and everything to save money for themselves instead of giving the hard earned money to people and their children that they can't support. AND I would even have sympathy for this couple if #3-they didn't go around telling how they are going to go out of town and stay in a motel and do this and that and even get a tattoo.
Oh, did I tell you that this non-working counterpart is a smoker? They must know something that I didn't know when I was smoking because each and every cigarette I smoked...costed me money!
Anyway, this person now needs to see a doctor. AND they have a major appointment in the city that they just can't miss. And the status is followed up with something to the effect of, we are so broke and don't know what we are going to do.
Really????? Maybe you should grow the F*** up and get a job and stick with it. Even on those days you don't WANT to go to work. Even on those nights when all your friends and maybe even your partner, are partying it up. Maybe EVEN on the holidays that you might have to miss something that your family is hosting. It's called adulthood and I think it's high time a lot more of the younger generation learned to deal with it.
Don't get me wrong though. I have A LOT of young kids on my Facebook that are younger than this couple and have it figured out already. Hell, I have high schoolers on my friends list that have it together better than this!
I get so pissed off and so irate when someone boo-freaking-hoo's around because their life is so sad; so pitiful. And they are always blaming someone else for their life being in the pisser! Why don't you pull up your adult briefs, do what you need to do and shut the F*** up??? For once in your life, pay your damn bills and stop running away from responsibility.
There has to come a point in someone's life, I think, that they finally look at themselves in the mirror and say "I gotta get my sh!t together!" Don't they? I mean, don't they???
I was young once...albeit a long-ass time ago...and I did A LOT of really stupid stupid things. I defied my parents; lied to my siblings; flat out rebelled against anybody that thought they could help me. And then one day, I woke up and I was tired of being that child. That person that everybody looked down on and wondered just WHEN "she" was going to finally "get it."
I got it folks, I got it. And I'm never giving it back. I fought adulthood tooth and nail and I have a lot of scars to show for it. It got me nowhere. Don't get me wrong. I loved the experiences that got me where I am today. I wouldn't, and you shouldn't either, trade them for anything. Without the bad, I never would understand the good, ya know!
So if you're that stoopid little jerk (yes, I called you stoopid) that is on my Facebook and you're boo-freaking-hooing about how sad and pitiful your life is...shut the hell up. Get over yourself. Only YOU can change what you don't like about yourself and your life. It's obvious that what you're doing isn't working out for you...so do something about it. Something different.
I DARE YOU!
I guess I would have a little sympathy for this couple if #1-the working counterpart would grow a set and enforce some financial rules for the household. Instead, they are lead around like a puppy on a leash. I would probably have a little sympathy for this couple if #2-the non-working counterpart did anything and everything to save money for themselves instead of giving the hard earned money to people and their children that they can't support. AND I would even have sympathy for this couple if #3-they didn't go around telling how they are going to go out of town and stay in a motel and do this and that and even get a tattoo.
Oh, did I tell you that this non-working counterpart is a smoker? They must know something that I didn't know when I was smoking because each and every cigarette I smoked...costed me money!
Anyway, this person now needs to see a doctor. AND they have a major appointment in the city that they just can't miss. And the status is followed up with something to the effect of, we are so broke and don't know what we are going to do.
Really????? Maybe you should grow the F*** up and get a job and stick with it. Even on those days you don't WANT to go to work. Even on those nights when all your friends and maybe even your partner, are partying it up. Maybe EVEN on the holidays that you might have to miss something that your family is hosting. It's called adulthood and I think it's high time a lot more of the younger generation learned to deal with it.
Don't get me wrong though. I have A LOT of young kids on my Facebook that are younger than this couple and have it figured out already. Hell, I have high schoolers on my friends list that have it together better than this!
I get so pissed off and so irate when someone boo-freaking-hoo's around because their life is so sad; so pitiful. And they are always blaming someone else for their life being in the pisser! Why don't you pull up your adult briefs, do what you need to do and shut the F*** up??? For once in your life, pay your damn bills and stop running away from responsibility.
There has to come a point in someone's life, I think, that they finally look at themselves in the mirror and say "I gotta get my sh!t together!" Don't they? I mean, don't they???
I was young once...albeit a long-ass time ago...and I did A LOT of really stupid stupid things. I defied my parents; lied to my siblings; flat out rebelled against anybody that thought they could help me. And then one day, I woke up and I was tired of being that child. That person that everybody looked down on and wondered just WHEN "she" was going to finally "get it."
I got it folks, I got it. And I'm never giving it back. I fought adulthood tooth and nail and I have a lot of scars to show for it. It got me nowhere. Don't get me wrong. I loved the experiences that got me where I am today. I wouldn't, and you shouldn't either, trade them for anything. Without the bad, I never would understand the good, ya know!
So if you're that stoopid little jerk (yes, I called you stoopid) that is on my Facebook and you're boo-freaking-hooing about how sad and pitiful your life is...shut the hell up. Get over yourself. Only YOU can change what you don't like about yourself and your life. It's obvious that what you're doing isn't working out for you...so do something about it. Something different.
I DARE YOU!
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