It's a very cold, very windy day. Just when I think I know which direction the wind is coming from, it feels as though it whips around from another direction. The smartest thing anyone can do today...and tomorrow...is stay inside as much as possible. It's going to get worse before it gets better.
My heart matches the weather today though. Cold and mean and mad at the world. I am trying not to let life get in the way but sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes we just have to feel cold and mean and mad in order to get through the day.
I'm not sure where to go from here. I'm not quite ready to spill my guts about anything in particular but I feel like I need to touch base with you from my heart about friendships. I have blogged about friendships before. Possibly boring you to tears. The way I see it is just when you think all your ducks are in a row and life is shining brightly down and around you, that one stupid duck has to wreak havoc and the clouds settle in right over you and envelope you with darkness.
I'm sure you've all heard the saying about how friends can go long times without ever seeing each other and then you can pick up right where you left off. If you are one of those people, kudos to you. I have a hard time believing this of real, true friends. I feel that if you go too long, you are missing the milestones, the jokes, the stories, the laughter of everything that has passed between two people. In all that goodness, you are also missing something else. There are the hardships, the bad days, and the struggles that you and your friend are going through.
Life is rough and demanding and sometimes demeaning. When we lose touch with that one person who could always talk it out or problem-solve with us, we tend to look for others to fill that void. I don't know how many times I have said "Let's get together one of these days" and then not follow up on that. It's because life gets in the way! It's a cruel reality but I firmly believe it is true.
What is it that makes someone a real, true friend? I would love to hear your comments on that.
I think it is interesting to see what is valuable to one person and what is valuable to another because we all have a different idea of what we expect of others. There are no right or wrong answers. My thoughts on that are that a person is there...whether in person, on the phone, or even by text messaging whenever they can be; and I realize we can't all be available all the time. Work gets hectic, family life exhausts us. I really only talk to a few people on the phone and I think that is because that's what I do at work...I talk to people. And it gets exhausting. It doesn't mean I don't care about what my friends are doing or going through. It means that I need to communicate with them in a different way. Face to face has always been my favorite mode of communication. I need to get better at communication which is funny since that's the line of work I am in.
I need to get better at being a better person. A better friend.
We are trying to get the house we are currently living in finished up so we can move this spring. And as soon as the weather cooperates we will be working on the country house to get it done just enough to move in and finish as we go. It will be non-stop this-and-that for at least another year. We are short-handed at work and my priority has always been to be available there. It's an important job. Not just anyone can walk in and do it. So I want to do it. I love to do it.
See what I mean about life getting in the way? Why do we let our friendships take the back burner when we get bogged down with "things" that we want to get done? Why do we let each other do that? Why can't we speak up and say "Hey, I feel like you're ignoring me. Let's fix that." We don't do it and we won't do it because we don't want to inconvenience anybody. Life has taught us that our problems and our struggles can wait until someone can spare a minute.
I just want to urge you to reach out to your friends and make a plan. See them, spend time with them; even if it is just for an hour at a time. It's important. If you haven't seen your friend(s) for a long time, it will probably be a visit or two just to get caught up with the past. Stop letting life get in the way of the important things. I'm not saying take time away from your families. Sometimes, we need to be a bit more selfish when it comes to those we hold near and dear to our hearts. That is important; friendship is JUST as important.
Don't let life take away the pieces of your lives that make you who you are. Don't let it get in the way of sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly. We all have ugly and we need to show that ugly to someone once in a while.
I feel like I'm being vague. I apologize. I just do not want to struggle to keep up with my close friends. I do not want to feel like a visitor with them simply because I haven't been able to see them for a few weeks. I have seen people at Walmart that I used to talk to on a regular basis, only to say hello in passing, as I rush on with shopping list in hand, scurrying down another aisle. We all have done this. I really have to work on this. Being a good person; a better friend.
Our friends are our family from the heart and we need to remember to cherish that. I will be working on that from this day forward.
I guess that's all I have to say at this point. I just needed some "me time" before heading to bed finally. I just wanted to share my viewpoint. It doesn't have to mean much to you. I think it is more of a wake up call to myself. Trying to find clarity for myself.
Thanks for reading!
