My brain is having a hard time turning off tonight and my fingers want to just keep on typing. So it shall be.
While cleaning out closets and totes and boxes and generally a bunch of CRAP, I came across a letter that I wrote to my mom.....after she had surgery for ovarian cancer. The woman was seventy years old and had to have a hysterectomy. What a crock. We are a big family. Strike that. We are a HUGE family. And they made us ALL wait in the lobby of this hospital during surgery. I bet they were kicking themselves in the ass!!
Mom,
We had a lot of time to sit and think and talk while we were waiting for you to come out of surgery. You know your family...when we get bored, we do the silliest things.
Marta, Matilda and I were sitting out in the lobby, playing with Franny while everyone else went to get something to eat. A lady walked by and was wearing this "ballcap" that was just covered in sequins. Blue sequins at that! Marta and I both spotted her and of course, got to laughing. We told Matilda to ask her where she got it and Matilda wouldn't do it. I said "I will ask her." But before I even got the whole sentence spit out, Marta stops me....."NOOOOO." I wasn't really going to ask her but Marta thought I was. Marta says that we could probably stop by ANY Good Samaritan place and pick one up for you. We'll try to keep that in mind next trip to Nebraska! HA!
When everyone got back from lunch and we were sitting around, the guys had mostly all went over to another "booth" to play cards. Most of us women were sitting around together talking and Linny asked Pamela how she met Lankey. Pamela explained that they met on the internet and that they now live together. I jumped right in and said "Don't tell her mom, she doesn't know yet." Well ya know, Matilda confirmed it to her. Now keep in mind, Dottie was sitting right NEXT to Linny and was reading a book. Now Dottie is saying "What?" We got to laughing and Linny tries to cover the side of her mouth and says "She really doesn't know?" Dottie is all confused by what we are talking about and we break out into laughter and Linny is embarrassed because she thinks she just told Dottie!
While we are on the subject of Pamela and Lankey...Ding was asking how they communicated and was it hard to talk, etc...Pamela tells Ding that Lankey was asking about Ding because everytime Ding talked to him, she got right up in his face and Lankey thought Ding was trying to kiss him. Of course, Ding is all embarrassed and is showing us how she tries to talk to Lankey. Now, put your hands in a position like you're making duck beaks.....Ding does this when she's talking to Lankey and Pamela tells her that in sign language, that means "you can put your hands on me, anywhere you want to." Ding was so embarrassed but we all laughed so hard. I'm surprised they didn't tell us to shut up!
Finally, your doctor came out and was giving us the update. He told us that everything went well but the recovery was going to take a while because of everything they had to do to get to your uterus...bunch of scar tissue, yada yada yada, but he assured us that he thinks they got the whole uterus but you can't drive or have sex for so many weeks, etc. Hal pipes up and says "So much for wanting more brothers and sisters!" We all thought that was great but your doctor sure didn't! He just looked at him like he had lost his marbles!
After seeing the doctor, we are shuttled into the pre-op waiting room. It is already filled with people so there was obviously no place for your surgeon to talk to us privately. They shuttled us to a little chapel room. It literally was big enough for three chairs. We were all crammed into corners, against walls. So in comes the surgeon and Freddy was standing at the door because it was so crowded. We all introduced ourselves to her and she starts telling us in great detail, what they had to do to you. Of course, the more she talked, the further back Freddy got. He moved from the door to the hallway and back to the lobby without hearing it all. When he went out, Florence asked him what was said and all he could say was "I'm not repeating that gross stuff." He didn't look so well, they said.
So now, we are waiting, still in the lobby, for them to tell us where your room will be and when we can see you . That was a LONG wait. We all had meandered away, doing our own things. Some went out to smoke, some went to the bathroom and some went to get something eat or drink. Nellie just happened to be the only one sitting out in the lobby, talking on her phone, and your nurse comes out. Nellie just assumed she was looking for us and she's on her phone, waving her hand wildly at the nurse. The nurse looks over and sees Nellie and puts her hand up like "I don't want YOU." Ha! We gave her so much crap over that.
We all made our phone rounds to let everyone know that you got through surgery and it was a success. We voted for Matilda to call Uncle Don so he could call the rest of the brothers and sisters. She calls and tells him and then asks him "How is your ex's sister?" I just about fell down because I knew that he had just returned from the East for her funeral. It's hard not to laugh when you shouldn't. HA!
Waiting, waiting, waiting...A lady walks by and she is carrying a bouquet of flowers. She has on her winter gear and Nellie really wants to know where the lady got the flowers because it had a beautiful rose in it. Marta told her to ask her. What does Nellie do? She yells across the lobby, "Hey lady, where did you get those flowers?" The lady doesn't answer and Nellie says "Excuse me!" Well the lady was wearing ear muffs and couldn't hear her but everyone else in there could!!
Lastly, Hal and Florence went to get a room for the night. They said they were going to get one close to the hospital but were gone for well over an hour, maybe two. When they came back, they were all worn out and Florence said they fell asleep but Nellie's theory was that "Hal took her to the grass!"
Now, that was the whole of the letter. I don't know why it didn't have an ending and I can't remember if there were anymore stories but I don't think there were. Mom's recovery was rough. On all of us. They eventually got her settled in her room and she had to have radiation treatment. This meant having a barrier around her bed. We were only supposed to be in there for fifteen minutes at a time but the doctor told us, in actuality, we get more radiation standing in front of a working microwave than we would by being in this room with her.
So everybody said their goodbyes and left for the night. The worthless one and I stayed the night at the hospital. He went to the waiting room and fell asleep on the little sofa. Phone by his head in case I needed him. I stayed in with mom. Stretched out as well as I could be with my feet propped up in the window. Mom was under the influence of some serious medicine people. I can't remember for sure what it was but it was hell on her. Valium? Now, I don't know what woke me up in the middle of the night but something did. I looked over at mom and she was trying to sneak out of bed. I jumped up and ran to her side of the bed, telling her that she couldn't get up. That she needs to lay in bed and get better so she could go home soon. I got her laid back down and she was PISSED OFF!!
She started yelling at me. She asked me what she had done to me that I would want her to go through this. Why I wanted her to have cancer. Why did she deserve this? How could I love her and let her have this disease? The whole time, I kept repeating over and over, in my head, that this was NOT my mom saying these things to me. This was the drugs talking. This was the cancer talking. This was the radiation talking. But this was NOT my mom saying this. I called the worthless one and yelled for him to bring a nurse and get in here NOW because mom wouldn't stay in bed. I was literally holding her down.
The nurses came running in and got control of mom. She told them that I had pit bulls stowed under her bed and that if she tried to move, they would eat her; kill her. My heart was being destroyed by this disease. How much can one person take?? I had to leave. I could only be in the room fifteen minutes at a time but I couldn't come back in until she was asleep. That was an awful night. A long night.
So cancer doesn't have a place in my heart. Not for the bad and not even for the good. That is changing though. I am so mad; so furious....at what cancer has done to my family.....to my friends.....that all I can do is choose to ignore it. I am powerless against this damned disease. It's tearing me up. I will go out of my way, to NOT purchase something because the proceeds go to cancer research. Bullshit. I am convinced there is a cure out there. But if they share it.....if all these millions of people beat it.....how will all these pharmaceutical companies survive?? I truly believe it is a conspiracy from the Government level to the Medical level. But that's just me.
I am starting to have a change of heart. About cancer and about some other things in life...and in death. The next blog or two will show you what I am dealing with. What has got me turned inside out.
Thanks for reading. I'm glad you're here for the ride. -_-
2012/05/31
The King and Queen.....With Love from Princess Amelia
Princess Amelia here..........thanks for coming back to hear my story. As you know from previous blogs, I love my mom and dad very very much. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss their guidance. I never miss their love because I feel their love around me all the time. In everything I do.
When the Queen was seventy years old, the family pretty much knew that any Christmas could be the LAST Christmas with her. And what we didn't know was that this one Christmas in particular, WAS her last with us. I wanted it to be special. I made a book for her. Several months in advance, I had all of her family and friends write something for her and send it to me. I then printed them out or cut them out and pasted them in a book.
Page one: Laugh some every day; Sing your own song in your own special way; Dance to your own music; These are just some of the little "tools" I wanted the Queen to remember daily.
Page two: I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I have enjoyed making it. Love, (the worthless one) & Shellie. Not sure why I added his name to it. He didn't put an ounce of thought or effort into it. Oh well.
The next several pages were letters written to her by her brother Mel and wife; their kids, her best friends at the time and growing up; Brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews. I stuck little pieces here and there to remind her that I wanted her heart to be happy as well.
A little goodie.....Dream with your heart; Believe in miracles; Live in peace and peace will live in you. I wanted her to have as much inspiration as possible for the remainder of her life. Only positives. I wanted the last days of her life to be nothing but good; happy; and wholesome. Smile often just for the fun of it. God's love forever shines.
It was really nice to hear some of the stories about how the Queen made her way into the hearts of the King and his family. In my book, I have a "Thank You" page. And although this book was for the Queen, these thank you's also go to the King.
Thank you...for letting me eat meals with the prisoners. It taught me that good people make mistakes too.
Thank you...for letting me run barefoot and in my swimsuit all year long. It taught me freedom to make some decisions on my own even at a young age.
Thank you...for letting me "hang out" at the courthouse. It taught me to get to know people and to respect my elders.
Thank you...for letting me run away from home. It taught me that there is no place like home.
Thank you...for letting me spend so much time with Frannie, the lady across the street. She taught me to appreciate things in life that we sometimes take for granted.
Thank you...for letting me send postcards to the swimming pool when we went on vacation. It taught me that it's okay to miss the things you love. And the people you love.
Thank you...for laughing when I cry and crying when I laugh.
Thank you...for being there for me when I needed you the most but also for being there for me when I needed you the least.
Thank you...for being my absolute best friend in life. I love you with all my heart.
Next, I inserted several pages of cards that were sent...with the original notes or letters inside them. As I flip through the book, I see that she added cards from Easter, from her birthday..........things that meant a lot to her.
Then comes the typed pages. Folded up. Because the person that wrote them, didn't want everybody to read them. At least not yet.
Dear Mom.....
Never forget to take some time and remember all the good things that have happened in your life. There are so many times that I will never forget. Like
going to Attle to shop before Christmas. We wanted to find a restaurant and you said "no" to one because it had too many cars in the parking lot and when I suggested another one, you said "no" because it had too few cars in the parking lot! Sometimes I wonder HOW we ever got to eat a meal. Neither of us would make the decision WHERE to eat.
Going to Cannle before Christmas and having tea at that Frog place. Ashley loved that place. She would get all excited when all of us women would head north. I miss that. All the times we would go to decorate at the cemetery and play "pick me" with Jeannie or "red rover." You know grandma and dad were looking down on us and laughing.
Remember driving around the hometown at 0400 hrs. one night amazed at how many people in town leave their lights on all over their house? When we least expected it, there was a man walking in the middle of the street and it scared us both half to death!! Or driving to Nebraska for a family reunion and Perry had you and Petunia convinced that there was a UFO ahead of us.
And of course, we can never forget that fateful question the in-house drunk asked you..."Queen, what's a furburger?" You can thank Hal for that one. I thought the King was going to come unglued and I am sure the in-house drunk didn't close both eyes that night.
Some stories I will never forget hearing about: You leaving Petunia's house and forgetting me (as a baby) sleeping on her bed. She came running after you. SHE didn't even want me! And another...the card in my baby book that your grandma wrote to you saying Matilda wanted to trade me for a watermelon. It's a wonder I have ANY self-esteem at all! -_- And speaking of watermelons! Remember Mel having a spiked watermelon in his refrigerator and letting me eat it and eat it and eat it because I wanted some and he didn't want YOU to know that he had spiked it??
I vividly remember when Marta and Manny came home to talk to you and the King about her pregnancy and what they had planned to do. I was told to go to the front room and to stay there. I knew something bad was going to happen so I listened around the corner and as soon as I heard that she was going to have a BABY, I high tailed it upstairs. I didn't want to be a witness to anything!!
Growing up in the castle was probably my best memory. I know that I had a unique childhood. How many people can say they had a JAIL in the back of their house? I loved that. The only drawback to living there was the bats. Every time I see or hear Lawrence Welk, I think of the night that bat was flying around in the living room. Herc and Matilda ran out the door of the house and I ran through the kitchen at a dead run telling you there was a bat. I didn't look back but I could tell you were right on my heels. And I still don't know how someone can trip over a box the size of a refrigerator! -_-
When dad died, I remember going to grandma's house and falling on the couch beside her and crying my eyes out. She hugged me so tightly and told me that it should have been her and not dad. And it wasn't but a few short months before we lost her. That was such a tough year for all of us.
So far, the saddest time of my life is when we lost our beloved Ashley. To this day it breaks my heart as I know it does yours. When I got to Marta and Manny's house that night, all I wanted was my mom. You were the only thing I had to make me feel better and it was a great comfort to me to be able to be with you through that. I wish I had some memory of Marla, mom. I feel bad that I don't. I hear stories about her and wish that I had something of her to hold onto. I was so young. I admire you for the strength you had to have to get through that.
Every time I travel someplace, I always hear you saying "you're just like your dad. You have to take a different road every time." You'll be happy to know, when I come to visit, I take the same road every time. -_- I always remember Ashley's favorite "driving" story. Her and Pamela told dad that they threw the pillow out the window and dad got so angry. I can still hear Ashley laugh about that.
So many laughs we had when you stayed with us in G-town. Oscar the cat crawling up the heater vent and trying to crawl out during our dinner. You always said that you would never be able to get to the basement if there was a tornado but when push came to shove, you beat me, the in-house drunk AND the little girl I was babysitting. It's a wonder you even stayed with us after the time the in-house drunk yelled at you when we lived in that apartment. One MORE time you flew down a flight of stairs!!
Food has always been a common denominator with our family. Hal and I getting into it at the hometown cafe; Matilda and I getting into it at Hardee's and Herc and his bridezilla getting into it at McDonald's. Maybe that food thing isn't a good thing after all??? But we can't forget the comment cards. Don't fret mom. I STILL fill all those out. Remember when we waited in line at the drive thru at Burger King for thirty minutes, waiting for our breakfast? I never DID receive a coupon for that!! And speaking of......we were in that town for the garage sales. Remember the little red car with the big ole chair shoved in the back of it?
Remember when you, me and Freddy went to get ice cream up north? You turned on the wrong side of the median to get out of town and you thought the cops were following us so you pulled into the cemetery and hid. You told Freddy not to tell anyone and the first thing he did when we returned was to tell his dad and grandpa that we were hiding from the cops!
The worthless one's favorite story to tell about you is about the first weekend we came up after we were married and we went to church. Dottie asked us if we would like to have a dinner at her house. We went to Herc's after church and called you and before long, you had pulled a complete buffet out of your little pantry.
I will close this now. Didn't think it would be quite this long. I hope you're still awake. I hope the deer don't run you over when you go get your mail and I am glad that you have a pet bird to walk with you... even if he does go by the name of Grandpa!!
Love you mom,
Your most amusing daughter, Amelia <3
Wow, that really IS long! I hope YOU'RE still awake! I have never regretted making this book for her. And I'm glad I found it. Well.....I should give the credit to my Prince. He is the one that found it. After about three weeks of me looking everywhere. It's amazing what you find in the china hutch that's buried in the back of your closet! -_- I hope you enjoyed my little tribute to the King and Queen (even if it looks like it leaned more toward the Queen).
I love sharing these intimate times of my life with you. It almost takes me back to that time. Childhood...the best time of my life.
When the Queen was seventy years old, the family pretty much knew that any Christmas could be the LAST Christmas with her. And what we didn't know was that this one Christmas in particular, WAS her last with us. I wanted it to be special. I made a book for her. Several months in advance, I had all of her family and friends write something for her and send it to me. I then printed them out or cut them out and pasted them in a book.
Page one: Laugh some every day; Sing your own song in your own special way; Dance to your own music; These are just some of the little "tools" I wanted the Queen to remember daily.
Page two: I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I have enjoyed making it. Love, (the worthless one) & Shellie. Not sure why I added his name to it. He didn't put an ounce of thought or effort into it. Oh well.
The next several pages were letters written to her by her brother Mel and wife; their kids, her best friends at the time and growing up; Brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews. I stuck little pieces here and there to remind her that I wanted her heart to be happy as well.
A little goodie.....Dream with your heart; Believe in miracles; Live in peace and peace will live in you. I wanted her to have as much inspiration as possible for the remainder of her life. Only positives. I wanted the last days of her life to be nothing but good; happy; and wholesome. Smile often just for the fun of it. God's love forever shines.
It was really nice to hear some of the stories about how the Queen made her way into the hearts of the King and his family. In my book, I have a "Thank You" page. And although this book was for the Queen, these thank you's also go to the King.
Thank you...for letting me eat meals with the prisoners. It taught me that good people make mistakes too.
Thank you...for letting me run barefoot and in my swimsuit all year long. It taught me freedom to make some decisions on my own even at a young age.
Thank you...for letting me "hang out" at the courthouse. It taught me to get to know people and to respect my elders.
Thank you...for letting me run away from home. It taught me that there is no place like home.
Thank you...for letting me spend so much time with Frannie, the lady across the street. She taught me to appreciate things in life that we sometimes take for granted.
Thank you...for letting me send postcards to the swimming pool when we went on vacation. It taught me that it's okay to miss the things you love. And the people you love.
Thank you...for laughing when I cry and crying when I laugh.
Thank you...for being there for me when I needed you the most but also for being there for me when I needed you the least.
Thank you...for being my absolute best friend in life. I love you with all my heart.
Next, I inserted several pages of cards that were sent...with the original notes or letters inside them. As I flip through the book, I see that she added cards from Easter, from her birthday..........things that meant a lot to her.
Then comes the typed pages. Folded up. Because the person that wrote them, didn't want everybody to read them. At least not yet.
Dear Mom.....
Never forget to take some time and remember all the good things that have happened in your life. There are so many times that I will never forget. Like
going to Attle to shop before Christmas. We wanted to find a restaurant and you said "no" to one because it had too many cars in the parking lot and when I suggested another one, you said "no" because it had too few cars in the parking lot! Sometimes I wonder HOW we ever got to eat a meal. Neither of us would make the decision WHERE to eat.
Going to Cannle before Christmas and having tea at that Frog place. Ashley loved that place. She would get all excited when all of us women would head north. I miss that. All the times we would go to decorate at the cemetery and play "pick me" with Jeannie or "red rover." You know grandma and dad were looking down on us and laughing.
Remember driving around the hometown at 0400 hrs. one night amazed at how many people in town leave their lights on all over their house? When we least expected it, there was a man walking in the middle of the street and it scared us both half to death!! Or driving to Nebraska for a family reunion and Perry had you and Petunia convinced that there was a UFO ahead of us.
And of course, we can never forget that fateful question the in-house drunk asked you..."Queen, what's a furburger?" You can thank Hal for that one. I thought the King was going to come unglued and I am sure the in-house drunk didn't close both eyes that night.
Some stories I will never forget hearing about: You leaving Petunia's house and forgetting me (as a baby) sleeping on her bed. She came running after you. SHE didn't even want me! And another...the card in my baby book that your grandma wrote to you saying Matilda wanted to trade me for a watermelon. It's a wonder I have ANY self-esteem at all! -_- And speaking of watermelons! Remember Mel having a spiked watermelon in his refrigerator and letting me eat it and eat it and eat it because I wanted some and he didn't want YOU to know that he had spiked it??
I vividly remember when Marta and Manny came home to talk to you and the King about her pregnancy and what they had planned to do. I was told to go to the front room and to stay there. I knew something bad was going to happen so I listened around the corner and as soon as I heard that she was going to have a BABY, I high tailed it upstairs. I didn't want to be a witness to anything!!
Growing up in the castle was probably my best memory. I know that I had a unique childhood. How many people can say they had a JAIL in the back of their house? I loved that. The only drawback to living there was the bats. Every time I see or hear Lawrence Welk, I think of the night that bat was flying around in the living room. Herc and Matilda ran out the door of the house and I ran through the kitchen at a dead run telling you there was a bat. I didn't look back but I could tell you were right on my heels. And I still don't know how someone can trip over a box the size of a refrigerator! -_-
When dad died, I remember going to grandma's house and falling on the couch beside her and crying my eyes out. She hugged me so tightly and told me that it should have been her and not dad. And it wasn't but a few short months before we lost her. That was such a tough year for all of us.
So far, the saddest time of my life is when we lost our beloved Ashley. To this day it breaks my heart as I know it does yours. When I got to Marta and Manny's house that night, all I wanted was my mom. You were the only thing I had to make me feel better and it was a great comfort to me to be able to be with you through that. I wish I had some memory of Marla, mom. I feel bad that I don't. I hear stories about her and wish that I had something of her to hold onto. I was so young. I admire you for the strength you had to have to get through that.
Every time I travel someplace, I always hear you saying "you're just like your dad. You have to take a different road every time." You'll be happy to know, when I come to visit, I take the same road every time. -_- I always remember Ashley's favorite "driving" story. Her and Pamela told dad that they threw the pillow out the window and dad got so angry. I can still hear Ashley laugh about that.
So many laughs we had when you stayed with us in G-town. Oscar the cat crawling up the heater vent and trying to crawl out during our dinner. You always said that you would never be able to get to the basement if there was a tornado but when push came to shove, you beat me, the in-house drunk AND the little girl I was babysitting. It's a wonder you even stayed with us after the time the in-house drunk yelled at you when we lived in that apartment. One MORE time you flew down a flight of stairs!!
Food has always been a common denominator with our family. Hal and I getting into it at the hometown cafe; Matilda and I getting into it at Hardee's and Herc and his bridezilla getting into it at McDonald's. Maybe that food thing isn't a good thing after all??? But we can't forget the comment cards. Don't fret mom. I STILL fill all those out. Remember when we waited in line at the drive thru at Burger King for thirty minutes, waiting for our breakfast? I never DID receive a coupon for that!! And speaking of......we were in that town for the garage sales. Remember the little red car with the big ole chair shoved in the back of it?
Remember when you, me and Freddy went to get ice cream up north? You turned on the wrong side of the median to get out of town and you thought the cops were following us so you pulled into the cemetery and hid. You told Freddy not to tell anyone and the first thing he did when we returned was to tell his dad and grandpa that we were hiding from the cops!
The worthless one's favorite story to tell about you is about the first weekend we came up after we were married and we went to church. Dottie asked us if we would like to have a dinner at her house. We went to Herc's after church and called you and before long, you had pulled a complete buffet out of your little pantry.
I will close this now. Didn't think it would be quite this long. I hope you're still awake. I hope the deer don't run you over when you go get your mail and I am glad that you have a pet bird to walk with you... even if he does go by the name of Grandpa!!
Love you mom,
Your most amusing daughter, Amelia <3
Wow, that really IS long! I hope YOU'RE still awake! I have never regretted making this book for her. And I'm glad I found it. Well.....I should give the credit to my Prince. He is the one that found it. After about three weeks of me looking everywhere. It's amazing what you find in the china hutch that's buried in the back of your closet! -_- I hope you enjoyed my little tribute to the King and Queen (even if it looks like it leaned more toward the Queen).
I love sharing these intimate times of my life with you. It almost takes me back to that time. Childhood...the best time of my life.
2012/05/30
America's Best Contacts & Eyeglasses
Bastards. I want them to get FULL
credit for this blog. Back in October.....let me get all my fingers
and toes out here and count.....seven months ago.....two hundred and ten
days, give or take a few.....Gee and I went to America's Best in the city, so I could get new glasses and contacts and Gee could get two new pair of glasses.
We made the appointment and showed up at the scheduled time. Of course, after all the "adjustments," "fittings," and then the taxes.....we may as well have stayed home and gotten our stuff. We literally spent hundreds of dollars.....on EACH of us. They really know how to train those "specialists" too. They can "well if you do THIS package, you save THIS amount BUT if you do THIS package, well you are saving THIS amount..." and on and on. Until your head is spinning around repeatedly and you scream "STOP," just to get them to finally shut up! I was exhausted by the time we got out of there.
Okay so the contacts I ended up getting, they don't keep in the office. Of course they don't! And what a shocker, they are a little MORE expensive than the "other" contacts. Oh well, let's just get on with this! I don't have a problem paying a higher amount for something that I really want, and trust me, I wanted those contacts. Because I was out of my previous prescription! They couldn't even give me a "trial" pair so they told me that I would have to come back in for a follow-up whenever the contacts were in.
NEXT, they tell me that they don't keep MY prescription on hand and that I will have to pay for them now and they will ship them to the store within 3-5 business days. Whoa Nellie...this isn't working for me! I have to drive a little over an hour to come up here anyway so I am not going to just RACE up here some day after work when I don't have the time or the gas money to do it (Okay well maybe I did have it and I like going to the city but I didn't want THEM to know it).
They tell me that by the time Gee's glasses are in, my contacts SHOULD be in. They would contact us when they get there. Two days later and we haven't heard anything. I call them. (Hey, I figure they are a glasses/contacts company, they can ship that shit overnight, right?) Stuff isn't in. I call again two days later. Nothing. They have nothing. Literally thirty minutes later, I get an email from them saying that Gee's glasses are in. They said I needed to come get them but to bring Gee for a "fitting." Of course. And I believe this was on a Thursday and there was no way I could get away until Saturday because of my work schedule.
So I get off work on Saturday and we race to the city. We have literally two and a half hours to get there, get fitted into our glasses/contacts and get out before they close. We get there and I give them our names and they say "We have Gee's glasses right here....." and off they go with him. I tell them I am supposed to pick up my contacts and they don't have them. "Did you get an email that they were here?" "No." Girls are scrambling. One of them finally says to me, "Can we just ship them to your house and then you don't have to make another trip up here just for that?" That would be GREAT. I am going to love this place!
It was probably three or four days later when I received my contacts in the mail. And there they were.....a box of each prescription (each eye) and a separate "trial" box. It held one of each prescription. So I plop them in my eye and away we go. Forgot one thing. To go in and have my "follow up" done with the new contacts. It got put to the wayside and I completely and totally forgot that I needed to go have that done.
So I have used my contacts and am on my last pair so I get online and order another box of each. These things aren't cheap, I remind you. I could have went somewhere else and ordered the same prescription and could have saved about eight bucks or something like it but no, I was faithful to my company. So that was yesterday when I ordered them. I had a voicemail to call this ordering company today when I woke up. So I give them a call, knowing that this can't be good when they say my order is put on hold.
"The office says they can't release your prescription because you haven't been in to do your follow-up." Are you shitting me?? I told the gal that I have been wearing what THEY sent me in the mail for seven months now and they won't release my prescription because I didn't go in and tell them they fit okay?? Unbelievable. So I call the office. I was sweet. As sugar. If I was any sweeter, there would have been bees swarming me. That poor girl on the phone, I had sixteen questions about fourteen different things. I figured if they were going to inconvenience me, I would inconvenience them. So I did. And they were.
Turns out because I didn't go in, I have to go back to the city for the "follow-up" and then they can release the prescription. "Okay so can you have a box of scripts on hand by Saturday so afterward I can just buy them there?" Big fat fucking no. Are you people serious??? Is it really your policy to make people WORK for this shit?? We're already paying for it! They don't even care that I live OVER an hour from them. Come in and do it or go somewhere else and start over. *sigh*
Supposedly it's a liability issue if they release the contacts script without a follow-up. Can I sue them for my own negligence, really?? And it's a liability for them to order a box of my scripts to have on hand (TO SELL TO ME) after I have my follow-up done. Why??? Can't they just save them or return them? I mean, this IS AMERICA!! And I know from my original appointment that if the trial pair didn't work, they could just send the others back.
So for fucks sake...I am going to the city Friday afternoon. After I travel to the hometown (which is in the complete OPPOSITE direction) for a doctor's appointment that morning. Someone might wanna forewarn the doctor that day. I may not be in the best of spirits.....but then again, maybe I will be!
This is my rant. America's Best Contacts & Glasses.....you are assholes. Through and through. This will hopefully be the last time you bend me over the ole park bench and give it to me in the ass! Maybe I'm just overreacting. Is it too much to ask of them to send a postcard or an email (yes, they have my email address) or even a quick phone call to say "Hey just a reminder. You need to do a follow-up or we won't be able to release your prescription to order more contacts." Is that really too much to ask??
We made the appointment and showed up at the scheduled time. Of course, after all the "adjustments," "fittings," and then the taxes.....we may as well have stayed home and gotten our stuff. We literally spent hundreds of dollars.....on EACH of us. They really know how to train those "specialists" too. They can "well if you do THIS package, you save THIS amount BUT if you do THIS package, well you are saving THIS amount..." and on and on. Until your head is spinning around repeatedly and you scream "STOP," just to get them to finally shut up! I was exhausted by the time we got out of there.
Okay so the contacts I ended up getting, they don't keep in the office. Of course they don't! And what a shocker, they are a little MORE expensive than the "other" contacts. Oh well, let's just get on with this! I don't have a problem paying a higher amount for something that I really want, and trust me, I wanted those contacts. Because I was out of my previous prescription! They couldn't even give me a "trial" pair so they told me that I would have to come back in for a follow-up whenever the contacts were in.
NEXT, they tell me that they don't keep MY prescription on hand and that I will have to pay for them now and they will ship them to the store within 3-5 business days. Whoa Nellie...this isn't working for me! I have to drive a little over an hour to come up here anyway so I am not going to just RACE up here some day after work when I don't have the time or the gas money to do it (Okay well maybe I did have it and I like going to the city but I didn't want THEM to know it).
They tell me that by the time Gee's glasses are in, my contacts SHOULD be in. They would contact us when they get there. Two days later and we haven't heard anything. I call them. (Hey, I figure they are a glasses/contacts company, they can ship that shit overnight, right?) Stuff isn't in. I call again two days later. Nothing. They have nothing. Literally thirty minutes later, I get an email from them saying that Gee's glasses are in. They said I needed to come get them but to bring Gee for a "fitting." Of course. And I believe this was on a Thursday and there was no way I could get away until Saturday because of my work schedule.
So I get off work on Saturday and we race to the city. We have literally two and a half hours to get there, get fitted into our glasses/contacts and get out before they close. We get there and I give them our names and they say "We have Gee's glasses right here....." and off they go with him. I tell them I am supposed to pick up my contacts and they don't have them. "Did you get an email that they were here?" "No." Girls are scrambling. One of them finally says to me, "Can we just ship them to your house and then you don't have to make another trip up here just for that?" That would be GREAT. I am going to love this place!
It was probably three or four days later when I received my contacts in the mail. And there they were.....a box of each prescription (each eye) and a separate "trial" box. It held one of each prescription. So I plop them in my eye and away we go. Forgot one thing. To go in and have my "follow up" done with the new contacts. It got put to the wayside and I completely and totally forgot that I needed to go have that done.
So I have used my contacts and am on my last pair so I get online and order another box of each. These things aren't cheap, I remind you. I could have went somewhere else and ordered the same prescription and could have saved about eight bucks or something like it but no, I was faithful to my company. So that was yesterday when I ordered them. I had a voicemail to call this ordering company today when I woke up. So I give them a call, knowing that this can't be good when they say my order is put on hold.
"The office says they can't release your prescription because you haven't been in to do your follow-up." Are you shitting me?? I told the gal that I have been wearing what THEY sent me in the mail for seven months now and they won't release my prescription because I didn't go in and tell them they fit okay?? Unbelievable. So I call the office. I was sweet. As sugar. If I was any sweeter, there would have been bees swarming me. That poor girl on the phone, I had sixteen questions about fourteen different things. I figured if they were going to inconvenience me, I would inconvenience them. So I did. And they were.
Turns out because I didn't go in, I have to go back to the city for the "follow-up" and then they can release the prescription. "Okay so can you have a box of scripts on hand by Saturday so afterward I can just buy them there?" Big fat fucking no. Are you people serious??? Is it really your policy to make people WORK for this shit?? We're already paying for it! They don't even care that I live OVER an hour from them. Come in and do it or go somewhere else and start over. *sigh*
Supposedly it's a liability issue if they release the contacts script without a follow-up. Can I sue them for my own negligence, really?? And it's a liability for them to order a box of my scripts to have on hand (TO SELL TO ME) after I have my follow-up done. Why??? Can't they just save them or return them? I mean, this IS AMERICA!! And I know from my original appointment that if the trial pair didn't work, they could just send the others back.
So for fucks sake...I am going to the city Friday afternoon. After I travel to the hometown (which is in the complete OPPOSITE direction) for a doctor's appointment that morning. Someone might wanna forewarn the doctor that day. I may not be in the best of spirits.....but then again, maybe I will be!
This is my rant. America's Best Contacts & Glasses.....you are assholes. Through and through. This will hopefully be the last time you bend me over the ole park bench and give it to me in the ass! Maybe I'm just overreacting. Is it too much to ask of them to send a postcard or an email (yes, they have my email address) or even a quick phone call to say "Hey just a reminder. You need to do a follow-up or we won't be able to release your prescription to order more contacts." Is that really too much to ask??
2012/05/29
The Premiere of Batman
Sunday, May 27, 2012 I finally got to meet Batman. Well...we all did. That was his birth day. Eight pounds, one ounce and a whole twenty one inches long. He's so perfect. Congratulations to Terry and Bella. I am so in love with this baby already, it's not funny. I am pretty sure I have been in love with him for nine months. I can't wait to watch him grow into the Superhero he already is in my heart.
I was going to share a picture with you but I have learned from the Spiderman and Superman movies, that you do NOT disclose the hero. Ever. So I'm sorry. I can't reveal him. I have written him a letter but being the absent-minded aunt that I am, forgot to print it out for him to put in his First Bible (yes, I finally found it and thanks for the tips). Keep in mind, I wrote this letter when he was barely five months old.
Dear Great Nephew,
Welcome! We have all been waiting anxiously for your appearance. Nobody more anxious than your mommy & daddy but all your other family too!! It seems like it has been a long wait already but I know it hasn't. I'm just THAT excited to meet you!.
First I should tell you that I am your Great Aunt Amelia. You will learn at a pretty early age that I am the COOL aunt! I will make sure you have noisy toys to play with and when it's safe, not ALL of your mommy's & daddy's rules apply. Shhhhh we will keep that our little secret, ok buddy? :-)
I won't always seem like the cool aunt though. Sometimes you're gonna think I'm mean and sometimes you're gonna get sick and tired of me kissing on you but mostly you're gonna think I'm just plain crazy. This I promise you little man, I will always love you with every beat of my heart. No matter what.
When you're sad because mommy or daddy won't let you play with your noisy toys, you can call me and tell me. I will get after them for you! When you're happy because it's Christmas morning and you got all those cool toys you wanted, you can call me and tell me. I will share your happiness.
When you're worried because you have a crush on a cute little girl in school, you can call me and tell me all about it. I will listen to every word. And do whatever I can to help you through it. :-) Although, here's a bit of advice early on.....girls are trouble. Some are worth it; most are not.
Now don't get me wrong! You have SO MANY family and friends who love you so much and will be there for you in those same situations. And speaking of, I will just tell you right now; you couldn't be born into a more loving, caring and crazy family. Yes, all of those. AND I guarantee you that you will never have a family so passionate about loving you and looking out for you. Whether loving or fighting, we are passionate! You are a part of this family by such a tremendous bond of love, simply & truly, that it can't be explained. And can never be broken. Welcome to our world baby boy. <3
For a long time, your mommy and daddy wouldn't tell us what your name was going to be so we came up with "Batman." You have been, are now and will forever be, my little Batman. I was so relieved when I heard your daddy wasn't going to name you after a car! Optimus Prime!! See, Batman isn't so bad now, is it??
Okay little man, I am going to wrap this up. You have so much to look around at, and take in, after you catch up on your sleep. Have fun with your mommy and daddy. They are new at this but they are gonna do great! I will be seeing you soon baby boy. I love you to the moon and back a thousand times over every day.
You are going to do great things Batman; and your aunt will be right behind you each and every step of the way.
Hugs, Kisses, Tickles & Wishes,
Aunt Amelia
So I suppose I should print that out for him. Maybe I will. HA! Slip it into his first birthday card with an "OOPS!" written on the front of it!! His mommy reads these blogs (well she did before the baby came along.....maybe she won't have time now), so maybe she can read it to him. -_-
Batman is in our lives by the total and awesome greatness of God. I will try to make this story quick. I know I seem to ramble on sometimes.....always.
Remember the story of my angel girl, Ashley? Well, at the time of her death, she was engaged to be married to Terry. Her death was very hard on him and our family prayed he would find someone that would compliment him, understand him and love him as much as we had grown to love him. As much as Ashley loved him.
Terry IS my nephew. He always will be. It makes NO difference if he and Ashley ever married. Things happen for a reason. We are not to question why. We are only to accept and move on. Terry dated a few women and every time, we would wonder if "she" was the one. Of course, the whole family didn't meet these women. Some of them did. The majority did not. He was very smart in doing that. -_-
So one day Marta calls me up and says "Terry is coming up and he's bringing Bella." Whoa. The moment of truth here. Terry is bringing a girl home to meet the family. This could only mean one thing. He REALLY likes her. I think I was as nervous as Bella was. Although she didn't act nervous. Within seconds, she fit right into our family.
Very beautiful; very outgoing; very happy; and she seemed to be totally in love with our Terry. I was SO happy for him. He would bring her around more and more and she was just as much a part of our family as Terry was. She is one of the most wonderful women I have ever met and I am so happy to have her in my life.
Sometimes I will text her something pretty "flippant," and she just laughs at me. I'm glad because I am not trying to piss her off. I am just trying to "condition" her for my bipolar moments that everybody says I have. But I don't. Dammit I said I don't have them!!! Shut up!!
And the rest is history. They got married and eventually decided to give me another great nephew. Yes, it was all about me. Isn't it always?? I love this little family of theirs. And I love this big ole family of mine. And the fact that their little family is tucked inside our big family....makes me ecstatic!
Cheers to many many years of babies, babies and more babies. From ALL my nieces and nephews!! This is the end of my blog. I hope you enjoyed my little story about Batman. <3<3<3<3<3
2012/05/28
A long weekend
Well, Memorial Day has come and went. Well almost. Less than four hours and it's done and gone for another year. We met Friday night and decorated the graves of our parents, grandparents, greats and uncles. We let a Happy Birthday balloon go free for mom. The kids all played "Red Rover" in the cemetery. A tradition I hope we always continue. Jeannie kinda started that many years ago when she was a little girl. Her game of choice at the time was "Pick me." She would always start and she would look at everyone that was there and pick someone. When that person was picked, they followed suit. That was it. Simple huh? She loved it and that's all that mattered.
After that, we took off for the hometown and decorated Ashley's grave. Hal and Perry had all the kids convinced thye "hid" a 2003 nickel in the grass and whoever found it, could have that PLUS a free ice cream cone at the local frosty stop. Nobody ever found that nickel. And it wasn't for lack of trying either. They were crawling around on their bellies like little army ants, looking for that silver nickel. Would have been really funny if someone would have found one though.
They played "Simon Says" next. If Perry isn't the funnest thing for these kids!! He had them running in place. He had them hopping on one foot. He had them waving at passer-bys. He had them puckering up for kisses that they were really afraid just might happen! And he had them exhausted. I bet they all slept good that night. I know I did! HA!
After that, Matilda, Gee and I went to the local bar. This is something I rarely do. Not go to the bar but let myself go. Usually it's about once a year but I hadn't done it for two years. Life seemed to get in the way of a "good time." I was supposed to meet some classmates for a small get-together and they were all there when I got there. I was under the impression that another classmate that I really wanted to talk to, was going to be there so when I asked about her, they all acted like I wasn't even standing there. So I went to the bar and stood. And ordered myself a beer. Yeah buddy -_-
We found ourselves a table and before long, it was filled with a lot of people that we rarely get to see. Several beers later, I figure I better slow down but
Gee has decided that I should have a "drink drink." In his head, everyone should drink whiskey. I don't know why. He rarely drinks it himself. I told him that there was only one whiskey drink I was willing (oh boy was I willing) to drink that night and they didn't make it at this bar. Three wise men. Off he goes to the bar.
I forgot to mention, as my beer bitch, Gee brought me a Bud Light Platinum in place of my regular Bud Light. I don't like it when people tell me what I need to drink. But I shrugged it off and drank the shit. That's kinda what I think of it. Shit. Don't care for it. I think it's supposed to be smoother but I don't think it is. I'll take my Bud Light anyday.
So my beer bitch is back (he's my DD so he's living vicariously through me). In his hand, he has a Three Wise Men. Wow! That was some good shit right there. If you're into whiskey and haven't had this drink, you should try it. If you have had it, then you know just how good Three Wise Men can be! A little Jack, a little Johnny, and a little Jimmy. Thanks guys. You're great together!
I have always thought it funny the people that drink and text. Well I look at my phone and have a text message. From a gal across the table!! This is how the conversation goes:
HER: I see you!
HER: I dp
HER: Tri, overhauldudenbhccl
ME: What the hill was rhat
ME: Is that KIA with the BLACK hair a couch lid?
ME: Shit
ME: Kid, Kid
HER: Uck this sux
Yeah, you should all feel lucky that I didn't text you. I may sometime. Just text something stoopid back to me and I will never know the difference.
So we head home finally. I kept myself amused with my Kindle so as not to bother my driver. We had to stop for gas and I asked to get out and pee. Absolutely not. Something about it being late, everything closed and we were in the middle of town. I still don't know what the problem is. Back on the road.
I was sure at one point, I looked up and we were going backward. I would have sworn to it. I asked Gee, "Are we going backward right now?" Convincingly he says to me, "NO!" Whoa, I must have really enjoyed those Three Wise Men more than I thought!! "Can you find a gravel road so I can pee?" He loves gravel travel so this was a no-brainer for me. "Sure can!" Back to my Kindle. I tried playing "Words with Friends" but it is SO BORING when you're drunk. Not enough action in that game! The next thing I know, we are turning off the highway. "What are you doing?" Gee will have to admit that I am finally very submissive and quiet when I am drunk and he's driving. "Taking a gravel road so you can pee." "Thanks! How'd you know I had to pee? Did I tell you?" Yes, this IS how the conversation went. Most of you have been there. You understand.
I don't know how I got to bed that night but I did. My alarm clock went off the next morning and I hit snooze. I never do that!! I didn't have a headache or anything. I just didn't want to get up! I tried to make my head think of a reason to get out of doing the dirty old man's laundry but nothing came to fruition. So I just got up and got on the road.
Got the laundry done and it's been non-stop ever since. I am still trying to push the snooze button. Actually today, I just re-set the stoopid thing!!
Anyway, the best part of my weekend will come in my next blog. It's about the "Premiere of Batman." I can't wait to tell you about it. It's like no other Batman you've ever seen.
And for clarification.....we DID drive backwards that night! Gee finally admitted it to me! He missed our turn off. DUH!!!
After that, we took off for the hometown and decorated Ashley's grave. Hal and Perry had all the kids convinced thye "hid" a 2003 nickel in the grass and whoever found it, could have that PLUS a free ice cream cone at the local frosty stop. Nobody ever found that nickel. And it wasn't for lack of trying either. They were crawling around on their bellies like little army ants, looking for that silver nickel. Would have been really funny if someone would have found one though.
They played "Simon Says" next. If Perry isn't the funnest thing for these kids!! He had them running in place. He had them hopping on one foot. He had them waving at passer-bys. He had them puckering up for kisses that they were really afraid just might happen! And he had them exhausted. I bet they all slept good that night. I know I did! HA!
After that, Matilda, Gee and I went to the local bar. This is something I rarely do. Not go to the bar but let myself go. Usually it's about once a year but I hadn't done it for two years. Life seemed to get in the way of a "good time." I was supposed to meet some classmates for a small get-together and they were all there when I got there. I was under the impression that another classmate that I really wanted to talk to, was going to be there so when I asked about her, they all acted like I wasn't even standing there. So I went to the bar and stood. And ordered myself a beer. Yeah buddy -_-
We found ourselves a table and before long, it was filled with a lot of people that we rarely get to see. Several beers later, I figure I better slow down but
Gee has decided that I should have a "drink drink." In his head, everyone should drink whiskey. I don't know why. He rarely drinks it himself. I told him that there was only one whiskey drink I was willing (oh boy was I willing) to drink that night and they didn't make it at this bar. Three wise men. Off he goes to the bar.
I forgot to mention, as my beer bitch, Gee brought me a Bud Light Platinum in place of my regular Bud Light. I don't like it when people tell me what I need to drink. But I shrugged it off and drank the shit. That's kinda what I think of it. Shit. Don't care for it. I think it's supposed to be smoother but I don't think it is. I'll take my Bud Light anyday.
So my beer bitch is back (he's my DD so he's living vicariously through me). In his hand, he has a Three Wise Men. Wow! That was some good shit right there. If you're into whiskey and haven't had this drink, you should try it. If you have had it, then you know just how good Three Wise Men can be! A little Jack, a little Johnny, and a little Jimmy. Thanks guys. You're great together!
I have always thought it funny the people that drink and text. Well I look at my phone and have a text message. From a gal across the table!! This is how the conversation goes:
HER: I see you!
HER: I dp
HER: Tri, overhauldudenbhccl
ME: What the hill was rhat
ME: Is that KIA with the BLACK hair a couch lid?
ME: Shit
ME: Kid, Kid
HER: Uck this sux
Yeah, you should all feel lucky that I didn't text you. I may sometime. Just text something stoopid back to me and I will never know the difference.
So we head home finally. I kept myself amused with my Kindle so as not to bother my driver. We had to stop for gas and I asked to get out and pee. Absolutely not. Something about it being late, everything closed and we were in the middle of town. I still don't know what the problem is. Back on the road.
I was sure at one point, I looked up and we were going backward. I would have sworn to it. I asked Gee, "Are we going backward right now?" Convincingly he says to me, "NO!" Whoa, I must have really enjoyed those Three Wise Men more than I thought!! "Can you find a gravel road so I can pee?" He loves gravel travel so this was a no-brainer for me. "Sure can!" Back to my Kindle. I tried playing "Words with Friends" but it is SO BORING when you're drunk. Not enough action in that game! The next thing I know, we are turning off the highway. "What are you doing?" Gee will have to admit that I am finally very submissive and quiet when I am drunk and he's driving. "Taking a gravel road so you can pee." "Thanks! How'd you know I had to pee? Did I tell you?" Yes, this IS how the conversation went. Most of you have been there. You understand.
I don't know how I got to bed that night but I did. My alarm clock went off the next morning and I hit snooze. I never do that!! I didn't have a headache or anything. I just didn't want to get up! I tried to make my head think of a reason to get out of doing the dirty old man's laundry but nothing came to fruition. So I just got up and got on the road.
Got the laundry done and it's been non-stop ever since. I am still trying to push the snooze button. Actually today, I just re-set the stoopid thing!!
Anyway, the best part of my weekend will come in my next blog. It's about the "Premiere of Batman." I can't wait to tell you about it. It's like no other Batman you've ever seen.
And for clarification.....we DID drive backwards that night! Gee finally admitted it to me! He missed our turn off. DUH!!!
2012/05/24
For Ashley
There's nothing more upsetting in life than your child dying before you, the parent. You might say "How would you know? You're not even a parent?" I don't HAVE to be a parent to know that it's unnatural to see your child dead. And it doesn't matter how they die. It's unnatural to have to plan a funeral and pick out a cemetery plot for someone you call your own. It's wrong all the way around. But it's a fact of life that we all have to accept. Luckily we don't all have to do this but we all have to accept it. This is something we have no power over. No control. And I wouldn't wish this on my very worst enemy.
Being an aunt kinda puts me at an advantage. I don't have to bear the burden of child birth. I don't have to bear the burden of finances. And I don't have to bear the burden of responsibility. But on the other hand, being an aunt makes me want to do ALL of that. I would gladly give up anything I had to, if one of my nieces or nephews needed it.
January 14, 2005 was a pretty nice morning. I lived in Kansas City and was driving to work, thanking God that we didn't get any bad weather. I remember as if it was just this morning.....driving along and thinking to myself, "Someday something is going to happen to mom and Uncle Cray will have to drive ALL the way over here to tell me. That's gonna be a sucky drive." I get to work and am having a pretty good morning and I look up over the counter and there's Uncle Cray and Aunt Sue. I thought it was odd that they were over in my area since I worked almost thirty minutes from where I lived and they lived another fifteen minutes further than me. As I started to greet them, Pamela came down the aisle. She had tears streaming down her face and I could tell she was devastated.
I just knew it was mom. In a span of two seconds, I was mad at myself for not calling mom that morning (even though I normally didn't call her until later in the day) and was trying to think about the last time I visited (which hadn't been very long ago). Uncle Cray came behind the counter and asked if there was somewhere we could go talk. I told him no, that whatever he needed to tell me, he could tell me there. He insisted that we go somewhere else and not out where all the people would be walking by us. Aunt Sue says "Just tell her and get it over with. You're upsetting her." And he says it. "Ashley was in a car accident this morning and she didn't make it."
It really still crushes me, to this day, to say that.....to think it.....to believe it. Ashley died. I remember falling into Uncle Cray. My legs were like jello. This could not be happening. I don't even remember how I told my boss. If I told my boss. We all just walked out. Pamela drove me, in my car, to my house. I got the things I was going to need and took Pamela to her car. I think. It's all so foggy to me. I can't believe I drove. Pamela wanted me to ride back home with her but I wouldn't have it. I just had to be stubborn.
I headed back home. Up the interstate I go. I get about twenty miles out of town and guess what.....a flat tire. My car is packed TO THE GILLS and I get a flat tire. Of course I do!! I pull over and get out. I don't know what I thought I was going to do. I knew I wasn't going to change it. And I didn't have a cell phone at this time. So, it's January. I'm in shorts (no surprise). And I have a flat tire.
I am looking around trying to figure out if there would even be a house close by when a little pickup comes to an almost screeching halt. This guy pulls over, gets out and asks if he can help me. Of course you can help me!! I start taking crap out of my trunk so he can get to the jack (that he ended up not using because it's so small) and the spare tire. Donut tire. Yes, I was going to have to finish the trip on a donut tire. FUCK!
Turns out, this man was from Oklahoma and wouldn't give me his name or address or anything. He wouldn't take money. Only my "thank you." I should have gotten his license plate but I wasn't really thinking. Anyway, he was in the KC area because a relative had died and he was coming to stay with family for the funeral. How ironic. Back on the road.
I drove pretty good. When I got to the next town though, I stopped and bought a tire and had it put on. Called my mom from there and she was worried about me. Thought someone should come get me. I assured her I would be fine. I continued on. Every little bit, I would break out into a mad cry. Or I would punch my steering wheel. I'm sure everyone on the road that day wondered why I kept honking at them.
I just wanted my mom. I wanted her to make everything better. I wanted her to put her arms around me and tell me it was a bad bad dream. What I wanted the most was for Ashley to come around the corner and say "gotcha!" I would've beat her ass for it, but that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to beat her ass. I felt like my soul shattered that day. I can't ever forget that feeling that I felt for weeks after she died.
I finally get to my sisters house. I drove right through where the accident happened and didn't even know it. I looked but apparently didn't look at the right time. Probably best that I didn't see anything. I get to Marta and Manny's house and there are cars everywhere. Then I was paralyzed. I didn't want to go in. "If all these people are here, then it must be true. It can't be true. I can't go in there. They will all stare at you. You were so close to Ash." This is what was going in my head as I pulled up.
"You have to go in. Mom is going to be worried about you if you don't show up soon. She will have someone out looking for you. She worries so much. You have to go in and help Marta. You have to get her through this." Talk about the good angel and the devil. I just let them duke it out. How the hell was I going to get Marta through this when I didn't know if I could get through this? In the house I went.
Mom was sitting in a chair at the top of the basement stairs and I went to her. I was right back at wanting her to make it all better. To make the bad go away and to make Ashley come out RIGHT NOW! She hugged me and held on and didn't let go.....for a long time. I buried my face in her shoulder and just cried and cried. This is too unreal. "Where's Marta?" was all I could get out. Mom points and our eyes meet. Marta knows that the love I have for Ashley is tremendous so I go to her and hug her and this time, I couldn't let go. "This is unfair. This is madness. I will do anything I can for you to help you get through this." The whole time I am asking myself what the hell can I do to get through this???
The next few days are a total blur to me. I remember sitting around at the table and making pink ribbons to hand out at the visitation and funeral. I remember going through photo albums. That's about all I remember. Her funeral was in the high school gymnasium and I can't even remember all of that. I hate that I have that blocked. The only things I remember from that whole damned funeral was having to say goodbye to her at the end. Her poor nephew was a baby. He wanted to get in and play with Ashley. He wanted her to wake up. He kissed her. I crumbled inside. And I remember her preacher saying "my God didn't do this." That got me through a lot of grief. A lot of heartache. A lot of misery. It still does to this day.
Weeks later, I was laying in my bed. Back in KC, to reality. I had been begging God to please let Ashley know we love her and to please tell me that she is there with him. And what I am going to tell you next, you probably won't believe. But it happened. I swear on it. I wasn't dreaming. I wasn't even asleep. But Ashley was right by my bed. She took my hand and we walked to this room. I remember it was all white. I never really saw any walls but there wasn't "clouds" either. I just know there was white everywhere. It was thee most beautiful place I have ever experienced. We stopped in the middle of this room and there were pictures of Ashley around me. Pictures that I have never seen before.
They were framed in white. And they were huge. Bigger than life-size. It was amazing. I can still see this place in my head. Ashley never spoke a single word to me. She didn't have to. I knew, without words, that Ashley was at peace. That she was happy in Heaven. That she had no more worries and no more cares. Only smiles and "white." The next thing I know, I am laying back on my bed. I had NOT been asleep. Amazing is the only way to describe this event.
Of course I get on the phone and call mom because I have to tell someone. It's late. Mom thinks the worst when the phone rings late so she automatically thinks something is wrong with me. I told her what had just happened. She tells me that I fell asleep and had a dream. That's not what happened. You will never ever convince me of anything different. I know Ashley is at peace. And I'm okay with her death. *sigh*
I sound like a crazy person, don't I? I'm sure I do. But I'm not. At least not clinically. -_- I tell my Ashley story to many people. The ones that believe and the ones that don't. I don't care if you believe me or not. It's just my story. Don't try to analyze my experience please. I want to cherish it just like it is.
So being an aunt doesn't always mean you get the shorter end of the emotional stick. If anything, being an aunt has made me love stronger and a little more passionately than some would like. I don't like to see "my kids" hurt. I don't like to see them sad. I don't like to see them struggle. And I don't like to see them treated unfairly. Any of them.
Ashley and her friends practically grew up at my house. I wonder if they had a slumber party, somewhere, every weekend. It's a wonder any of them could keep a boyfriend. Hell, they were always at MY house! And I loved it! Friday the thirteenth, Ashley always loved to have a party. Of course, for birthdays, she had to have a party. After ballgames, "let's go to Aunt Amelia's."
I miss those days. I miss those girls. I miss all those moments. I hope each and every one of you out there know how much I love and cherish you. I am always here for you if you need me. Ashley even picked out my tattoo. She picked out a blue bulldog paw for my right ankle. She was so excited to get to see this happen. When the man was finished, there was Ashley.....asleep on the couch. What a surprise!! If you knew Ash, you knew she could sleep anywhere!! And her mouth was probably hanging wide open too!
I could go on for days about the fun things Ashley said or did. But I'm not going to. I am not ready to share everything. I have to keep some inside. Maybe for another post. Another blog. Another moment. Another time. Have you heard the saying, "If I could just have ONE more day with you....." I don't want just one more day with you Ashley. Because one will not suffice. Me or anyone else. I don't want to see you again until we can spend our eternities together.
Happy Birthday Ashley Renee. You are a beautiful angel and someday we will be back together again. Until then, keep smiling down on us and help us keep your memory alive. I love you baby girl. With all of my heart and soul. Give that grandpa and grandma of yours a big bear hug for me. <3 kisses, hugs and a world full of love <3
Being an aunt kinda puts me at an advantage. I don't have to bear the burden of child birth. I don't have to bear the burden of finances. And I don't have to bear the burden of responsibility. But on the other hand, being an aunt makes me want to do ALL of that. I would gladly give up anything I had to, if one of my nieces or nephews needed it.
January 14, 2005 was a pretty nice morning. I lived in Kansas City and was driving to work, thanking God that we didn't get any bad weather. I remember as if it was just this morning.....driving along and thinking to myself, "Someday something is going to happen to mom and Uncle Cray will have to drive ALL the way over here to tell me. That's gonna be a sucky drive." I get to work and am having a pretty good morning and I look up over the counter and there's Uncle Cray and Aunt Sue. I thought it was odd that they were over in my area since I worked almost thirty minutes from where I lived and they lived another fifteen minutes further than me. As I started to greet them, Pamela came down the aisle. She had tears streaming down her face and I could tell she was devastated.
I just knew it was mom. In a span of two seconds, I was mad at myself for not calling mom that morning (even though I normally didn't call her until later in the day) and was trying to think about the last time I visited (which hadn't been very long ago). Uncle Cray came behind the counter and asked if there was somewhere we could go talk. I told him no, that whatever he needed to tell me, he could tell me there. He insisted that we go somewhere else and not out where all the people would be walking by us. Aunt Sue says "Just tell her and get it over with. You're upsetting her." And he says it. "Ashley was in a car accident this morning and she didn't make it."
It really still crushes me, to this day, to say that.....to think it.....to believe it. Ashley died. I remember falling into Uncle Cray. My legs were like jello. This could not be happening. I don't even remember how I told my boss. If I told my boss. We all just walked out. Pamela drove me, in my car, to my house. I got the things I was going to need and took Pamela to her car. I think. It's all so foggy to me. I can't believe I drove. Pamela wanted me to ride back home with her but I wouldn't have it. I just had to be stubborn.
I headed back home. Up the interstate I go. I get about twenty miles out of town and guess what.....a flat tire. My car is packed TO THE GILLS and I get a flat tire. Of course I do!! I pull over and get out. I don't know what I thought I was going to do. I knew I wasn't going to change it. And I didn't have a cell phone at this time. So, it's January. I'm in shorts (no surprise). And I have a flat tire.
I am looking around trying to figure out if there would even be a house close by when a little pickup comes to an almost screeching halt. This guy pulls over, gets out and asks if he can help me. Of course you can help me!! I start taking crap out of my trunk so he can get to the jack (that he ended up not using because it's so small) and the spare tire. Donut tire. Yes, I was going to have to finish the trip on a donut tire. FUCK!
Turns out, this man was from Oklahoma and wouldn't give me his name or address or anything. He wouldn't take money. Only my "thank you." I should have gotten his license plate but I wasn't really thinking. Anyway, he was in the KC area because a relative had died and he was coming to stay with family for the funeral. How ironic. Back on the road.
I drove pretty good. When I got to the next town though, I stopped and bought a tire and had it put on. Called my mom from there and she was worried about me. Thought someone should come get me. I assured her I would be fine. I continued on. Every little bit, I would break out into a mad cry. Or I would punch my steering wheel. I'm sure everyone on the road that day wondered why I kept honking at them.
I just wanted my mom. I wanted her to make everything better. I wanted her to put her arms around me and tell me it was a bad bad dream. What I wanted the most was for Ashley to come around the corner and say "gotcha!" I would've beat her ass for it, but that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to beat her ass. I felt like my soul shattered that day. I can't ever forget that feeling that I felt for weeks after she died.
I finally get to my sisters house. I drove right through where the accident happened and didn't even know it. I looked but apparently didn't look at the right time. Probably best that I didn't see anything. I get to Marta and Manny's house and there are cars everywhere. Then I was paralyzed. I didn't want to go in. "If all these people are here, then it must be true. It can't be true. I can't go in there. They will all stare at you. You were so close to Ash." This is what was going in my head as I pulled up.
"You have to go in. Mom is going to be worried about you if you don't show up soon. She will have someone out looking for you. She worries so much. You have to go in and help Marta. You have to get her through this." Talk about the good angel and the devil. I just let them duke it out. How the hell was I going to get Marta through this when I didn't know if I could get through this? In the house I went.
Mom was sitting in a chair at the top of the basement stairs and I went to her. I was right back at wanting her to make it all better. To make the bad go away and to make Ashley come out RIGHT NOW! She hugged me and held on and didn't let go.....for a long time. I buried my face in her shoulder and just cried and cried. This is too unreal. "Where's Marta?" was all I could get out. Mom points and our eyes meet. Marta knows that the love I have for Ashley is tremendous so I go to her and hug her and this time, I couldn't let go. "This is unfair. This is madness. I will do anything I can for you to help you get through this." The whole time I am asking myself what the hell can I do to get through this???
The next few days are a total blur to me. I remember sitting around at the table and making pink ribbons to hand out at the visitation and funeral. I remember going through photo albums. That's about all I remember. Her funeral was in the high school gymnasium and I can't even remember all of that. I hate that I have that blocked. The only things I remember from that whole damned funeral was having to say goodbye to her at the end. Her poor nephew was a baby. He wanted to get in and play with Ashley. He wanted her to wake up. He kissed her. I crumbled inside. And I remember her preacher saying "my God didn't do this." That got me through a lot of grief. A lot of heartache. A lot of misery. It still does to this day.
Weeks later, I was laying in my bed. Back in KC, to reality. I had been begging God to please let Ashley know we love her and to please tell me that she is there with him. And what I am going to tell you next, you probably won't believe. But it happened. I swear on it. I wasn't dreaming. I wasn't even asleep. But Ashley was right by my bed. She took my hand and we walked to this room. I remember it was all white. I never really saw any walls but there wasn't "clouds" either. I just know there was white everywhere. It was thee most beautiful place I have ever experienced. We stopped in the middle of this room and there were pictures of Ashley around me. Pictures that I have never seen before.
They were framed in white. And they were huge. Bigger than life-size. It was amazing. I can still see this place in my head. Ashley never spoke a single word to me. She didn't have to. I knew, without words, that Ashley was at peace. That she was happy in Heaven. That she had no more worries and no more cares. Only smiles and "white." The next thing I know, I am laying back on my bed. I had NOT been asleep. Amazing is the only way to describe this event.
Of course I get on the phone and call mom because I have to tell someone. It's late. Mom thinks the worst when the phone rings late so she automatically thinks something is wrong with me. I told her what had just happened. She tells me that I fell asleep and had a dream. That's not what happened. You will never ever convince me of anything different. I know Ashley is at peace. And I'm okay with her death. *sigh*
I sound like a crazy person, don't I? I'm sure I do. But I'm not. At least not clinically. -_- I tell my Ashley story to many people. The ones that believe and the ones that don't. I don't care if you believe me or not. It's just my story. Don't try to analyze my experience please. I want to cherish it just like it is.
So being an aunt doesn't always mean you get the shorter end of the emotional stick. If anything, being an aunt has made me love stronger and a little more passionately than some would like. I don't like to see "my kids" hurt. I don't like to see them sad. I don't like to see them struggle. And I don't like to see them treated unfairly. Any of them.
Ashley and her friends practically grew up at my house. I wonder if they had a slumber party, somewhere, every weekend. It's a wonder any of them could keep a boyfriend. Hell, they were always at MY house! And I loved it! Friday the thirteenth, Ashley always loved to have a party. Of course, for birthdays, she had to have a party. After ballgames, "let's go to Aunt Amelia's."
I miss those days. I miss those girls. I miss all those moments. I hope each and every one of you out there know how much I love and cherish you. I am always here for you if you need me. Ashley even picked out my tattoo. She picked out a blue bulldog paw for my right ankle. She was so excited to get to see this happen. When the man was finished, there was Ashley.....asleep on the couch. What a surprise!! If you knew Ash, you knew she could sleep anywhere!! And her mouth was probably hanging wide open too!
I could go on for days about the fun things Ashley said or did. But I'm not going to. I am not ready to share everything. I have to keep some inside. Maybe for another post. Another blog. Another moment. Another time. Have you heard the saying, "If I could just have ONE more day with you....." I don't want just one more day with you Ashley. Because one will not suffice. Me or anyone else. I don't want to see you again until we can spend our eternities together.
Happy Birthday Ashley Renee. You are a beautiful angel and someday we will be back together again. Until then, keep smiling down on us and help us keep your memory alive. I love you baby girl. With all of my heart and soul. Give that grandpa and grandma of yours a big bear hug for me. <3 kisses, hugs and a world full of love <3
2012/05/23
For Marla
Before I get started today I would like to mention that I left something out (accidentally) in my last blog. In my baby book there is a card from my great grandparents. It says "Matilda told us she would trade the new baby for a watermelon." Yes.......this came from my best friend. She only wanted a watermelon for me. She could have AT LEAST asked for a new bike or something that she was going to enjoy for MORE than an hour! Of all things that are Holy!! I am offended.....and slighted......and she will have to pay.
Now onto today's subject. Marla. She was born in April of 1968. I am told she had eyes "black as night." I don't know a lot about her and it's not for lack of trying. I know that she didn't want to live in town. She loved living in the country and when the family moved to town, she hated it. We even lived across the street from a park and she hated it. In all her pictures, she looks just like Matilda. Except it was easier to make Matilda smile I'm guessing.
When I was just a year old, the older kids were at school; dad had the day off so mom took the opportunity to go to the store.....alone. She NEVER got that opportunity so she wasn't about to miss it this day. Marla wanted to go with mom and mom told her no. She told her she had to stay home and play with her brother and sister. She went off to the bedroom, crying and mom left. I was on dad's lap and I suppose we were watching the tv; Herc and Marla eventually started playing in the bedroom that was right off the livingroom. If I had to guess, I would say they were twenty feet apart, at the most.
Someone had gotten an Easy Bake Oven for a birthday or something because this was the middle of December. Santa Claus hadn't come yet. Herc and Marla decide to make a cake in the oven and as they were playing, the oven shorted out. Keep in mind, this was in 1971 and everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) went up in smoke FAST. Immediately the wallpaper was on fire; the carpet was on fire and the kids were SCARED. Herc ran out of the bedroom and screamed "Fire fire fire!" Dad saw nothing but smoke and grabbed Herc by one arm and me around the waist and runs outside. He dropped us in the front yard and yelled at the neighbor to call the fire department.
By the time he could get back in the house, there was no way he could find Marla. What he didn't know until later was that she had backed in the closet thinking the fire couldn't get her and she hid. The firemen finally found her. She had died of smoke inhalation but of course, suffered some burning. My mom didn't even get to see her in her casket. Nobody did.
My dad never forgave himself for that. Not one minute of his life. Even though he did what he could do. I'm pretty sure mom never forgave herself either. Really. Now, me being just a year old, I don't remember any of it. Isn't that odd? The only thing about that house that I remember is going out the south door and watching someone feed the pug dogs, which we would breed and sell. That's it. I don't remember the fire. I don't remember having to live among people until our house was re-modeled. I don't remember NOT ever living with my brothers and sisters. But it all happened.
I have tried to imagine it over and over again and Matilda and I talk sometimes about how we think Marla would have turned out if she hadn't died that fateful day. What IF she would have gotten to go to the store with mom? I hate to think that maybe there would have been a terrible car crash and I would have lost my mom too or a kidnapping that we wouldn't even know the outcome of. I am a firm believer that things happen in God's time and no matter what, you have to trust Him. We don't need to know the answers to everything right now anyway. If we did, the human race would be an awful breed.
Anyway, the kids got "farmed out," as they used to say, to relatives and close family friends. I didn't though. I guess because I was still so young, they thought I better hang out with them. I can't even imagine what that must have been like for them. The family. I have asked many many times about Marla; about the things she liked; the things she didn't like. I have even went as far as to ask about her funeral; her casket; everything I could think of. I don't get much for answers though. Nobody likes to talk about stuff like that. I do. I want to know it all. I have to visualize all of this to process it and I can't do it without help. I don't know if all of my brothers and sisters got to attend the funeral and if they did, they probably don't like to talk about it either. I know I wasn't there. I had to stay with the neighbor lady. But that is okay. I probably wouldn't remember that either.
So all I can tell you about my big sister Marla is that she loved the outdoors. She loved animals. She loved her brothers and sisters. But she hated being in town. When they lived in the country, they had geese. Mom always said she never had to worry about Marla going out in the road because the geese would surround her and keep her in the yard. They were the perfect little babysitters............until it was time for Marla to go in the house and she didn't want to. She would say "no" and mom would "get after" her. And if mom would go NEAR Marla, the geese would chase mom away. Mom had to wait until either dad got home or Marla was tired enough to come in the house.
We have very few pictures of Marla. Lost them in the house fire, of course. When we do stumble upon someone that has one we haven't ever seen, it's like Christmas Day for us. We had one of those sent to Marta in her email a while back. That was awesome. After the fire though, many many many people came from near and far, to put our house back together again. It was the same house but it was a different house too.
We didn't stay there long. I think a year. That was really hard on my parents to live there. Then we moved to the jail house. Just a few years ago, we got to go inside that house again. It was so nice. Of course it had been redone a time or two since we had lived there but mom said most of it was the same as when we lived there. She showed us exactly where dad and I were sitting and where Herc and Marla were playing. The closet isn't there anymore. But I can see how she ended up there. Very scary stuff, fire.
So even though I didn't really know Marla, I love her dearly and can't wait to "meet" her someday. The few things I do know about this house fire and what happened, took years and years for me to find out. My parents believed you didn't talk about things like that. I wish I had some good stories to tell on her but I know she watches me everyday and laughs at the stoopid things I do and tells all her friends and family in Heaven about her silly sister. Thanks Marla -_- I love you <3
Now onto today's subject. Marla. She was born in April of 1968. I am told she had eyes "black as night." I don't know a lot about her and it's not for lack of trying. I know that she didn't want to live in town. She loved living in the country and when the family moved to town, she hated it. We even lived across the street from a park and she hated it. In all her pictures, she looks just like Matilda. Except it was easier to make Matilda smile I'm guessing.
When I was just a year old, the older kids were at school; dad had the day off so mom took the opportunity to go to the store.....alone. She NEVER got that opportunity so she wasn't about to miss it this day. Marla wanted to go with mom and mom told her no. She told her she had to stay home and play with her brother and sister. She went off to the bedroom, crying and mom left. I was on dad's lap and I suppose we were watching the tv; Herc and Marla eventually started playing in the bedroom that was right off the livingroom. If I had to guess, I would say they were twenty feet apart, at the most.
Someone had gotten an Easy Bake Oven for a birthday or something because this was the middle of December. Santa Claus hadn't come yet. Herc and Marla decide to make a cake in the oven and as they were playing, the oven shorted out. Keep in mind, this was in 1971 and everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) went up in smoke FAST. Immediately the wallpaper was on fire; the carpet was on fire and the kids were SCARED. Herc ran out of the bedroom and screamed "Fire fire fire!" Dad saw nothing but smoke and grabbed Herc by one arm and me around the waist and runs outside. He dropped us in the front yard and yelled at the neighbor to call the fire department.
By the time he could get back in the house, there was no way he could find Marla. What he didn't know until later was that she had backed in the closet thinking the fire couldn't get her and she hid. The firemen finally found her. She had died of smoke inhalation but of course, suffered some burning. My mom didn't even get to see her in her casket. Nobody did.
My dad never forgave himself for that. Not one minute of his life. Even though he did what he could do. I'm pretty sure mom never forgave herself either. Really. Now, me being just a year old, I don't remember any of it. Isn't that odd? The only thing about that house that I remember is going out the south door and watching someone feed the pug dogs, which we would breed and sell. That's it. I don't remember the fire. I don't remember having to live among people until our house was re-modeled. I don't remember NOT ever living with my brothers and sisters. But it all happened.
I have tried to imagine it over and over again and Matilda and I talk sometimes about how we think Marla would have turned out if she hadn't died that fateful day. What IF she would have gotten to go to the store with mom? I hate to think that maybe there would have been a terrible car crash and I would have lost my mom too or a kidnapping that we wouldn't even know the outcome of. I am a firm believer that things happen in God's time and no matter what, you have to trust Him. We don't need to know the answers to everything right now anyway. If we did, the human race would be an awful breed.
Anyway, the kids got "farmed out," as they used to say, to relatives and close family friends. I didn't though. I guess because I was still so young, they thought I better hang out with them. I can't even imagine what that must have been like for them. The family. I have asked many many times about Marla; about the things she liked; the things she didn't like. I have even went as far as to ask about her funeral; her casket; everything I could think of. I don't get much for answers though. Nobody likes to talk about stuff like that. I do. I want to know it all. I have to visualize all of this to process it and I can't do it without help. I don't know if all of my brothers and sisters got to attend the funeral and if they did, they probably don't like to talk about it either. I know I wasn't there. I had to stay with the neighbor lady. But that is okay. I probably wouldn't remember that either.
So all I can tell you about my big sister Marla is that she loved the outdoors. She loved animals. She loved her brothers and sisters. But she hated being in town. When they lived in the country, they had geese. Mom always said she never had to worry about Marla going out in the road because the geese would surround her and keep her in the yard. They were the perfect little babysitters............until it was time for Marla to go in the house and she didn't want to. She would say "no" and mom would "get after" her. And if mom would go NEAR Marla, the geese would chase mom away. Mom had to wait until either dad got home or Marla was tired enough to come in the house.
We have very few pictures of Marla. Lost them in the house fire, of course. When we do stumble upon someone that has one we haven't ever seen, it's like Christmas Day for us. We had one of those sent to Marta in her email a while back. That was awesome. After the fire though, many many many people came from near and far, to put our house back together again. It was the same house but it was a different house too.
We didn't stay there long. I think a year. That was really hard on my parents to live there. Then we moved to the jail house. Just a few years ago, we got to go inside that house again. It was so nice. Of course it had been redone a time or two since we had lived there but mom said most of it was the same as when we lived there. She showed us exactly where dad and I were sitting and where Herc and Marla were playing. The closet isn't there anymore. But I can see how she ended up there. Very scary stuff, fire.
So even though I didn't really know Marla, I love her dearly and can't wait to "meet" her someday. The few things I do know about this house fire and what happened, took years and years for me to find out. My parents believed you didn't talk about things like that. I wish I had some good stories to tell on her but I know she watches me everyday and laughs at the stoopid things I do and tells all her friends and family in Heaven about her silly sister. Thanks Marla -_- I love you <3
2012/05/22
My sister, My friend
Going to talk about my sisters today. My mom always told me to cherish my sisters
because in the end, that's all I will have. Mom didn't have any sisters and she
always wished she did. She was the oldest of five children. All little brothers. Oh
the horror!!
I am the baby of the family. I have three older sisters. Marta, Matilda and Marla. Now
isn't it funny all their names start with an "M" and mine and "A?" Oh well, I've always
been a little different too. (I can clearly see how that last comment didn't surprise you in the least. Not even a facial change when you read it)
I will start with my oldest sister Marta. We won't go into just HOW much older she is than
me but will just stick with her being my oldest. Most of my memories growing up were of me
hanging out in her bedroom with her. Lots of times her friends would come over and they would
sit in her room and gossip. Can you imagine? Filthy girls! -_-
I always thought that she kept me under her wing as I was growing up but she didn't.....now that
I think back. She didn't teach me how to curl my hair the right way. She didn't teach me how
to put make-up on the right way.............clearly I have always needed help in the eye liner
department. She didn't teach me basketball. She didn't teach me that I shouldn't bite my nails.
And she didn't teach me that boys really are dumb.
I remember when I was a very young girl and always always always looked forward to Christmas. What kid didn't, right? On Christmas Eve, I always had to sleep in Marta's room with her and Matilda because I would try to sneak downstairs and catch Santa Claus in the act. My parents caught on to that QUICK! I think it was because they had plenty of practice ahead of me.
Anyway, we would all lie in bed and Marta, Matilda and I would start singing Christmas songs.
And right in the middle of a song, Marta would say "Shhhhhhh!! Do you hear that? Do you hear
Santa outside?" And of course we would IMMEDIATELY stop singing and start listening. I never heard anything. They kept telling me they heard him but I will be damned if I ever heard anything. I think they were screwing with me. It's still one of my favorite memories though. Time with my sisters; singing and laughing.
Marta was always big into basketball. She has loved it as long as I can remember and loves it
still to this day. She really gets into it. I love it as well. Maybe she DID instill some of
that in me. She must have lived in her basketball clothes though because almost everytime
I reminisce, I remember her in uniform. Except for vacations. She wore normal ugly clothes
like the rest of us. I'm sure she picked on me as we were growing up but I honestly don't remember it.
I think as sisters, we were comrades. No matter what happened, ya know. Marta got preggos when she was in high school. WHOA, even I knew that was bad! I remember when her and her boyfriend came in the house to talk to mom and dad about what they were going to do, etc. and I just took off for my bedroom. Probably stayed there the rest of the evening, not sure. All I remember is I didn't want to be witness to anything. Bad or good. And I probably had to get away so I could "giggle" because Marta and Manny "did it."
So they were married. A year after their baby boy was born. The wedding was fun. I got to
get a new pink dress for that so I was pretty stoked. Wore it all the time after the wedding.
Mom made me take it off so she could wash it once in a while. I don't know why that mattered.
So back to this baby boy. His name is Jimmy. I didn't know how he and I would get along. He
was getting ALL of Marta's attention, not to mention everyone else's and I didn't like that. Not one bit. I was nine years old and already an aunt. That is something I have always been proud of. I remember someone telling me (a high schooler) that it was something very special to be "picked" to be an aunt at such an early age. That that meant I was going to be very good at it. Like I had a choice, come on! Jimmy always liked to hear that when he was young. He would always say to me, "Tell me about when you became an aunt."
I even told him that when he came home from the hospital, I was pretty sure they brought the wrong baby home because he looked just like a short Japanese man. I was convinced someone at the hospital made the switch and my family was so excited to have a baby in the family, they didn't even notice. And there's the other thing that pissed me off. He was the new baby. I didn't know if I could ever learn to like this new baby boy, let alone love him.
I fell over a clothes basket once while walking with him when he was a baby. We landed on a metal air intake vent. Luckily, I had been carrying him with both arms lengthwise undernearth him. See, I saved his life. Let's see, I shut his fingers (3 of them, I think) in a metal door.
That was a bad bad night. But I have already told that story. *shivers*
I was unintentionally mean to this child. To this day, I regret those things. Of course, as you
all know, it didn't take long for me to love this child with everything in my heart and soul. He
has always had a special place because I feel like we kinda grew up together.
So I have Marta to thank for a couple of awesome kids in my life. And several more great
nephews. She still lives in the hometown and I try to get down to see her. We like to do a lot
of things together. Different things than what Matilda and I do. We have our own fun.
So back to the top, where I said all those things that she "didn't teach me." The reason I say that is because she is famous for saying "I had to practically raise you because you wouldn't listen to mom and she had four other kids to take care of!" So there Miss Marta, you didn't teach me enough stuff growing up. But I still love you. <3 Thanks for teaching me unconditional love. That is more important than everything else.
My next older sister is Matilda. You've heard PLENTY of stories about her! She is usually known as my "partner in crime." She's also several years older than me so I won't mention years..... or age -_- Matilda is my best friend among best friends. She is the one I can go to when something is bothering me and she can bitch right along side me when something is pissing me off. She will listen to me cry on the phone and she will scream and yell at me when I have pissed her the fuck off! And trust me, we have pissed each other off on numerous occasions.
Matilda and I became alliances at a young age because we had a brother that liked to "pick" on us. Sometimes he was a real asshole and when we would cry to mom, WE would get in trouble for crying! Yeah, that's how it was. We should've been running to dad but he was usually working. Mom loved her boys so much. Don't get me wrong, she loved her girls too but from the get-go, her boys were HER boys.
When I was young, I liked to be naked. I don't know why. Sometimes I still do. But when I was
young, I slept naked. With a fan on me. And about three blankets. Some things never change. Well, one night in particular, Matilda and I decided we would sleep in the same bed. We were expecting bad weather and there was a possibility of a tornado. She in her blankets, me in mine. Of course I was naked under there and Matilda did NOT like that one bit. But I convinced her it would be okay. I would be burrowed under my blankets anyway so it's not like my cooties were gonna get out.
We were laying there in bed, looking out the window and just gabbing away. I don't know where anyone else was. All I know is that Mom, Matilda and me were the only ones home. So anyway, we are laughing and carrying on and all of a sudden, the tornado whistle goes off. Now, keep this in mind. We lived right across the street from the tornado whistle. So it was LOUD. And I think our window was open too so that didn't help. So the whistle goes off and Matilda and I JUMP out of bed. No, I didn't even THINK about taking my blankets. I run out of the room and Matilda is right on my heels and at the same time, mom has run down the hallway. We all three collide outside the bedroom door.
I didn't stick around, I kept running. Down the stairs I go! Just as SOON as I hit the bottom of the stairs (that comes out right in front of our front door), my brother Perry, his wife and baby run in the door. Perry says "Get your damn clothes on!" Well all my clothes are upstairs and there's a possible tornado coming our way! I grabbed the nearest thing to me. My beautiful white fur (fake) coat. I figured if I was going to die, I may as well die in style.
So there I sat. In the basement. In my white fur coat. And that was it. With my family. I couldn't even play with my nephew because I was naked under my coat and I would get too hot. Dammit. I think after that I started sleeping in underwear and t-shirt. At least I was covered enough to play until I was blown away. Which didn't happen. Obviously.
Anyway, Matilda also told me things that weren't true and I believed them because well..........she was older and was supposed to know these things. I remember one day we were going to M-town with Grandma. We passed this little town in between and there sat this house on the curve. This house sat at a different angle than all the rest of the houses on that road. It stuck out to me. I asked nobody in particular, "Why does that house sit crooked like that?" I don't know why I said crooked but I did. Matilda pipes up "So tornadoes can't hit it." Well, I'll be damned! If that wasn't just the smartest thing I have ever heard. Those people are BRILLIANT!! And I believed that for several years. Until I got old enough to KNOW better.
We still laugh about that. We will drive by it and I will say "I wonder why that house sits like that." And she says with a laugh, "So tornadoes don't get it." We are truly dorks sometimes. But I love that little memory we share. And one time in M-town, this may have even been the same trip because we were with Grandma then too; Matilda and cousin Becca got into it. I don't know what they got into it about but I know Matilda was MAD. We were at Dairy Queen when it happened. Matilda storms out of DQ and we just sit there and watch her. She starts out walking north. She gets to the end of the block and probably realized she really couldn't get home without us.....or at the very least, Grandma.....and plops her ass down. I think there was a gas station there at the time or something. She just SAT there. Didn't face us or anything. I, being the little genius that I am, told Grandma that we better have one more ice cream so Matilda had time to cool off. Grandma however, did not go for that. She let us finish our ice
cream, loaded us in the car, pulled right into that gas station and told Matilda to "GET IN!" And she did.
I didn't see Grandma mad very often but that was one of the few times I did. I still think to this day that another ice cream cone probably would have made the rest of us feel better about the whole situation AND it would be a great memory instead of a bad one. Okay, I'm lying. It's not a bad memory at all. It's a "funny as hell" memory.
And speaking of Matilda getting mad, here's a doozy. Mom, Matilda and I had been to the city for who-knows-what and on the way home, we stopped at Hardees to eat. Well, Matilda rattles something off about her husband (who is now her ex, just so the record is straight). Well little ole me didn't like what she said and I said something back to her. Mom tells us to keep it quiet. That this isn't the place to argue. All the while, she is looking around to
make sure nobody knows us and Matilda and I get a little louder. "Girls, quiet down. The whole world doesn't need to hear you argue!" And that just made it elevate to a whole new level because her and I had our voices raised and I spouted off something to the effect of "It's about time you stopped living for HIM and start living for you and your kids because obviously he isn't including YOU in his life." Not my exact words by any means but I know it was something to that effect. Matilda was pissed because I told her something she didn't want to hear. I was pissed because Matilda was telling me something I didn't want to hear and poor mom! Oh that poor woman!! She was REALLY PISSED because neither of us would listen to her!
For years, we heard how we have no manners in public and we need to "carry ourselves accordingly." I do believe I was carrying myself accordingly. SOMEONE had to put Matilda in her place! I mean, come on!! My sister....my best friend.....she was making a huge mistake................. by not listening to ME!! Oh yeah, I'm sure she's laughing her ass off right now at this!
Heck, even a year ago, Matilda and I got into it. We were sitting at her house and yelling back and forth at each other. I wonder what the neighbors thought? I stormed out of her house with a loud "FUCK YOU" and poor Gee following me. He didn't know what was wrong and what was right. All he knew was that I was his ride home and he better get in the fucking car! I cried all the way home because Matilda is a stubborn jack-ass. -_- Two days later it was Mother's Day and I sent her a text message telling her "Happy Mother's Day" and she replied with a "Thank you" and all was forgiven. We didn't even need to discuss it again. I had realized she was stubborn and hard to get along with and she had realized I am a big mouth and always right. HA!
Matilda has two kids. Jeannie, whom you have heard a few things about; and then there's Willy. They are thirteen months apart in age.....barely. More like twelve and fifteen days apart. I don't know why anyone wants to be preggos so often but hey, I love the benefits I got out of her having children. I feel pretty close to these two also. Don't know what I'd do without them. They really do make me smile.
So there's my "schpeel" on my sisters. Two of them anyway. I can't imagine breathing a single breath without them in my life. They truly are the best. I have one more sister to talk about and that's a difficult one for me. I think this is too long anyway so I will save Marla's for tomorrow. Until then! Thanks for reading!!!
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