This is just a follow-up for anyone who may have their panties in a wad about something they misinterpreted or for those that want to know WHY I even wrote what I wrote. My inbox hasn't seen this much traffic since.....well never. Well, here you go...................................................................
First off....."I understand that I don't live in Bedford so my opinion will weigh about as much as a gnat's ass but I'm going to give you what I got anyway. But keep in mind, this is MY opinion."That word "opinion" seemed to have gotten in the way of logic for some here. You see, I didn't go to the KMA website and post this in hopes that I could sway a vote. I didn't go to the Omaha World Herald with the fantasy that anybody would even give a crap. What I did was go to This is how this blog came about.
For many, many months, I have watched my friend get pummelled by people. Here's something that not a lot of people know. When we were in school, I would have told you that I couldn't stand this gal. That she would never be my friend. My friends and I tried to intimidate her. Tried to scare her (I bet she doesn't even know that...that's how bad we really were). Tried different ways just to be mean to her. Can you think of one reason WHY we did that? Nope, me either. We must have been jealous of something though!!
Maybe it was the way she held her head high when she walked. Maybe it was the way she always presented herself as a lady. Maybe it was the way she took responsibility. I don't know but we were all kids back then and I have learned A LOT about this gal and her family over the years. I have grown up a lot. She was grown up a lot earlier than I ever was. And that's okay. She has never held a grudge against me for the silly and stupid ways me and my friends treated her. She had every reason to though. And to make the whole thing stupider, I used to go to her house and play when we were young! Kids, go figure.
Here's my main reason for stepping up for her when nobody else seemed to. She and her family did great things by and for my mom, as well as many other people at the Northside Apartments. What really grinds my gears is that this Mayoral candidate that I already have ill feelings about, called a private meeting to take over the parts of the job that this family had been doing for YEARS. And doing a damned good job of it! Many can argue that it wasn't a secret meeting at all but I do have facts that this family wasn't even told about this meeting. They were just told to get the fuck off the property when they went to get their tools and stuff. That's gratitude for many years of service, isn't it?
My mom would be so sad. Lary and Karen Wyckoff always took good care of the apartments when something needed tended to. You couldn't ask for better people. And I understand that Lary might have made a lot of people mad as the Mayor but tell me what Mayor can please 100% of the people 100% of the time? If that person exists, I will eat my foot. When dealing with the public, you are going to piss people off. And as far as I know, he was unfair sometimes too. Maybe some thought he was rude. Maybe some thought he thought he was a little high and mighty.
I used to think that too. Until they started taking care of the place where my mom lived for many years. I got to know them as people and realized they aren't who I thought they were. For most of us, first impressions are not always the right impressions. If you think I am a big mouth and a bad person because I speak my mind, so be it. Maybe I am. But in honesty, you don't know me at all. See how easy that is to get messed up???
"If you have a question of someone in your community, for the love of fried pickles, ASK THEM."
There is no mistaking my love for peanut butter, is there??? This statement goes a long ways with me. This means if you have a question about something the Sheriff is doing on County time, ask him about it. If you have a question about something the City Clerk is doing on City time, ask her about it. If you have a question about something a candidate is doing on voter's time, ask them about it. We need to reach out. Remember that old AT&T commercial? Reach out, reach out and touch someone. No, not with your fist. Stop that.
"I'm telling you right now that I would be ashamed to live in such a place. If I was that person...the one getting attacked for every single thing I did...I would move. I would run and I would never have one nice thing to say for that town again. And I would tell everyone. I would post it on every piece of social media there was to post it on. I would start putting some pressure on some people and demand that they be held accountable for their actions; PAST AND PRESENT."
It does NOT say any place in this blog that I am ashamed to be from Bedford. Don't put your words in my mouth. They taste awful. What I said was I WOULD be ashamed to live in such a place. I do not believe Bedford is the mean, spiteful town that it has gotten the reputation to be in the last year. I have defended my school until I'm blue in the face. I just did again the other day. That whole bullying issue is STILL plaguing that town. Maybe the new town sign should read, "Welcome. We aren't the bullies we're made out to be." BUT...let me be clear on this next part.
"She does what she gets paid to do. And if she wasn't good at her job.....guess what? She would have been fired years ago! Yet every day she goes back. To the job she loves. For the people in her community. Just so she can be hammered and ridiculed again and again."
If I was ridiculed and talked about behind my back all the time...you bet I would be telling the world what I thought of those that want me to look like the bad guy just because I stood up for myself. And why the hell would you think I would want to live in such a town? I hope Bedford never gets too big for their britches.
"Does he not have a family to take care of? Is his wife not going to be stressed at how people react to her when they don't like HIS politics? Because that my friend, is what is going on in little ole Bedford, Iowa."
As the daughter of a Sheriff, I can vouch for the fact that everything my dad went through with his job, my mom was right beside him; they were going through it together. And then as the kids got older, they were right beside him as well. Being closely related to a public figure can really be a drag sometimes. I remember when a then local woman, and employee of the County, tried to spread a rumor that she was sleeping with my dad. And I also will never forget how my mom came home crying one afternoon because she had been to Turner's and the ladies were whispering when she was in there and when she got close, they simply just stopped talking. How do you think that made my mom feel???
The point I am getting at is when you ridicule Lary for the things he does as Mayor, you are ridiculing his wife and his kids. Because that is who loves him. They are his support system just like you would be for your parent. When you talk about one of them behind their back, you are talking about all of them behind their back. And it feels like shit! So whoever the next Mrs. Mayor is, better have some pretty thick skin and nerves of steel.
In keeping up with my usual snide remarks, I will follow up with this. If I lived in Bedford, I wouldn't vote for any of these Mayoral candidates. How does that sound for assholishness?
I will follow up with my disbelief on how this blog got shared and thrown around and punched in the face and laughed at. I wish you people could do that EVERYTIME I wrote a blog! HA!!! I wrote a blog recently about how important this bond issue is for Taylor County and compared to this one about the city Mayoral race, it was barely even looked at! I think that is unbelievable. So...until next time...thanks for reading and vote YES on the new jail.
2013/10/29
Small town politics...I just cant get enough
I grew up in little ole Bedford, Iowa. Here's what I truly love about my little hometown community. I love that when someone gets sick...they are all there to help you recover. Be it chicken noodle soup, a ride to the doctor, a fundraiser to help you pay for your bills and/or expenses. There is such great pride in knowing that your town has your back when push comes to shove.
I also love that if someone falls on hard times...the people of the community are there to help them back on their feet. Let's help these people and do whatever it takes to help them succeed.
Like any small town, here's what I absolutely don't love...and don't miss. The pettiness. The cowardess. The back-stabbing. The "beating around the bushes." If you have followed my blogs, you would know that I don't write about where I live very often; or about the people that live in my town. You know why? Because I don't know them like I know my hometown. And from what I am hearing lately, if the people in my current town were anything like some of the people in my hometown, I would be glad I didn't participate in town-wide activities.
Some of you have a lot of explaining to do. Some of you have a lot of apologizing to do. Some of you need to get right with God because He is seeing what you are doing and hearing what you are saying. And He sees you go from one person to the next to the next and to the next; each time telling maybe just one detail different from the previous time. Until eventually, you have blown a simple little story so out of proportion that when your original story comes back around, you don't even recognize it anymore.
Let's talk about the Mayoral race in Bedford. I think it's A-M-A-Z-I-N-G that three people are running for the Mayor position. That just means that a lot of people are taking the real issues of Bedford and choosing to do something about them. That IS what the mayor's job is, right?
I will say that I know the three candidates that are running for Mayor of Bedford. I also know the current Mayor that is stepping down. I have known most of these people many, many years, if not, my whole life. Now, I am going to go out on a very thin limb here and let you know some details of some of the things that I have been "taking notes" on.
I understand that I don't live in Bedford so my opinion will weigh about as much as a gnat's ass but I'm going to give you what I got anyway. But keep in mind, this is MY opinion.
How would you like it if someone came after you and your family for every single thing you did? How would you like to be "attacked" on an almost daily basis every day you went to work? How efficient do you think your work would be when, day after day, week after week, someone kept personally attacking each and every issue you handled? Let me ask you another question. How long would you go out in the public and participate in ANYTHING if you had to look at a piece of paper on the counter of ANY business...seeing the signatures of those people you have grew up around...people you have called your friends...saying that they want pretty much your every work move, checked, re-checked and then checked again? Is that the kind of community YOU would want to live in? What the hell happened to being honest and upfront with people? What the hell are you people scared of? If you have a question of someone in your community, for the love of fried pickles, ASK THEM.
WHAT IS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I'm telling you right now that I would be ashamed to live in such a place. If I was that person...the one getting attacked for every single thing I did...I would move. I would run and I would never have one nice thing to say for that town again. And I would tell everyone. I would post it on every piece of social media there was to post it on. I would start putting some pressure on some people and demand that they be held accountable for their actions; PAST AND PRESENT.
I have a friend from Bedford that is damn good at her job. She has been since the day she got it. And there might have been a time or two when I got angry because of a bill I received, that she sent out, but I guarantee you this.....I am adult enough to understand that she is just doing her job. She doesn't set rates. She doesn't decide who gets to pay more or less. She does what she gets paid to do. And if she wasn't good at her job.....guess what? She would have been fired years ago! Yet every day she goes back. To the job she loves. For the people in her community. Just so she can be hammered and ridiculed again and again.
How would you like to be in charge of the finances for a large corporation and because the new guy in the mail room...that wants to be CEO someday...doesn't like you, your family, or the fact that maybe your father is the current CEO...forces an audit on you everytime he pops a piece of gum in his mouth? How would that feel? At first, it might be funny. After a couple of unnecessary times though, it gets wearisome on anybody that has to go through it. There's nothing to be scared of as long as you're doing your job, right? And every audit costs the city more and more money.
How would you like it if you were on a committe with someone from your community and seemed to get along just fine, and then one day find out that this one certain person, whom you've always gotten along with (not best friends here people, just someone you've gotten along with), has been talking smack behind your back? How would that make you feel? Let's be honest. You don't have to be close friends to hurt someone's feelings and you don't have to be an enemy to be a real d-bag either.
Here's something that we see in each and every political race. Mudslinging. Grow up folks. Act your age. This isn't a Presidental race. There's no reason to be a hairy jerk about things. There's a time and a place to speak your platform but being mean and spiteful isn't what it should be about. Is that the kind of Mayor you want to lead your town? Someone that is CONSTANTLY down-grading the people of the town? Someone that is CONSTANTLY digging and digging at one group in particular, just to bring them to their knees and see them beg? Who wants that kind of dick at the helm?
We all have bad days. We all get grouchy. We all say things or do things that might be misinterpreted by others just simply because of our body language and/or tone of voice. Is that fair to judge someone because of the stress they are under at the time? Are we stopping to think about what issues and hurdles that person may have had to deal with or jump today? Or have we just stopped caring? As a community, we try to protect those we love in any way possible. As a community, you are dropping the ball by letting people talk about YOUR friends; YOUR town; YOUR neighbors. It's disgusting.
I like the people I work with. That doesn't mean that I want to go sing Karaoke with them on our days off. What I really mean to say is that I can tolerate most of the people I work with. The others I truly like to be around. SO...I had a situation not long ago where one of my co-workers kept riding my ass; day-in and day-out every single day; simply because I made ONE mistake...do you think it effected me? Do you think it effected those I worked with? Do you think it made the workplace a hostile environment? Is THAT the kind of town you want to live in? One where your town leader is CONSTANTLY looking for the bad in every situation? Pushing for and thriving on a hostile tone?
Here's something else I have found in my "notes." How would it make you feel if your Mayor didn't give a hoot's patootie about your views because you are a registered voter of a party they don't like? I don't care what your political views are when it comes to our damned President of the United States. Local is local. These are the people you do business with. These are the people that babysit your children. These are the people you babysit for. These are the people that carry your groceries out to your car. Let's keep this race in it's context people. Let's start CARING about what is really going on and who it is really effecting.
Where I live, I have an awesome Mayor. He has been at it so long and is so good at it, we just call him "Mayor." I just saw him in the lumber yard today and said, "Hi Mayor." That is something I absolutely love about my current town. My Mayor volunteers on a lot of local committees and is present IN our community. You name it...he has, is, or does help with it. He doesn't have to blow his own horn about what he has done because THE PEOPLE KNOW. We can see it with our very eyes.
My Mayor doesn't get on his Facebook page and boast to everybody about WHY he's a better person than anyone else. My Mayor doesn't run to Facebook to brag about what he has done "out of the goodness of his heart." He just does it and goes back to work. And that my friends, is why he is good at his job.
I think the people of Bedford need to stop and take a long hard look at what you really are. A small town. You aren't a metropolis. You aren't even a big city. What you ARE is a small-town. You ARE the heart of what is important in life. You ARE what every city and every metropolis once was...and lost. Don't give that up because someone wants to step up and make a name for themselves. Because someone's britches are too damned big for them. Unless you are a big-business, you shouldn't run like a big-business. I urge you to take the road less travelled and pick the grown-up candidate. The one that is truly in it for Bedford. Not for themselves. Not for their benefit. Not for their reward. This election has to be about Bedford and nothing/nobody else.
Going back to the part where you are in charge of finances for that big corporation. After many, many years of success, how would you like it if that mail guy accused you of "insider trading," or "falsifing documents?" Would be pretty damn shocking, would it not? These things of course are examples but this is the exact kind of person that wants to take care of Bedford. Did you know that? Were you aware? Do you REALLY know the personal agendas that some of the candidates have?
One of your candidates threw a hissy fit because the Mayor used equipment of the city's for personal use...WITH PERMISSION FROM THE COUNCIL...and might I add, before it was policy to not do this. But it was okay that this candidate used some city equipment himself, before the policy got changed.. If that doesn't spell hypocrite, I don't know what does! Why is it okay for this guy to use some of the city's equipment and not anyone else, what is on his agenda?? ThIs isnt the first tiMe I have talked about this man and hIs lying manipulative ways.
Over the past couple of years, I have heard people relay that this guy...this candidate... is "pissed about the Mayor doing this... and pissed about the Mayor doing that..." Who gives a rat's ass what that Mayor is doing on his personal time?? I have my own issues and so do you and so do your candidates. Let me ask you this: If this person becomes the next Mayor of Bedford, is he going to have his door open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Because if so, I think some of you should be on his doorstep between the hours of 1:00am and 5:00am Mondays through Fridays. If he wants to be a jerk, then bring jerk to his door. Does he not have a family to take care of? Is his wife not going to be stressed at how people react to her when they don't like HIS politics? Because that my friend, is what is going on in little ole Bedford, Iowa.
Because someone is family, doesn't mean they have the same morals; the same values; the same way of thinking; and it damn sure doesn't mean they agree on everything. If there's anything I can attest to, it is the aforementioned. Because you don't like what the current Mayor is doing, doesn't mean his whole family is to be stoned. They do not wear the Scarlet Letter.
I will close because...well even though I could go on and on and on...I think I have given you enough to think about. If you want to ask questions, ask them. This is your town; your friends; your family; ASK THOSE QUESTIONS. GET THOSE ANSWERS!!
I see a huge personal agenda going on in the Mayoral race in Bedford and I dont even live there!! Open your eyes folks. One of your candidates wants to, upon being elected, spend half of his day IN city hall "watching" the clerks because he has been trying to get them fired for years and the other half of the day, he will spend at the city shed "watching" their practices. I am pulling the Bullshit card here and now. This guy says there should be no neputism at work. Obviously he isn't related to many people around here because if anybody came from any family over 2 siblings, you are usually related to them. Apparently all those years ago, when he left Bedford...escaped the small town life for the bigger and better things in life...he forgot what really makes a small town succeed. And that my friends, is the close-knit relationships that we need and want...to make Bedford be the kind of place EVERYONE wants to live in and raise their families in. Even the ones that left us so many years ago!
On a more personal level, I would to end this with a big shout out of thanks to Lary and Karen Wyckoff, and Doug, Tammy, Morgan, Bailey and Bradyn Thompson of Bedford. For years, they took care of my mom and many others at the Northside Apartments. They mowed when it was 100+ degrees and always had a smile on their face. They were up there before the crack of dawn, shoveling snow in below zero-temps and harsh winds, putting out salt as soon as the sun came up, so the residents of the apartment complexes and their families, could get in and out safely. They took great care of my mom and she thought a lot of them. When something needed fixed or looked at, Lary or Karen was always there that day.
I could never re-pay them for what they did for my mom. Again I commend you and I thank you and I am sorry that people that turned their backs on you and/or stabbed you in the back. I know how it feels when that knife twists and turns back there. Hold your ground, you're good people!
Until next time...thanks for reading!!
I also love that if someone falls on hard times...the people of the community are there to help them back on their feet. Let's help these people and do whatever it takes to help them succeed.
Like any small town, here's what I absolutely don't love...and don't miss. The pettiness. The cowardess. The back-stabbing. The "beating around the bushes." If you have followed my blogs, you would know that I don't write about where I live very often; or about the people that live in my town. You know why? Because I don't know them like I know my hometown. And from what I am hearing lately, if the people in my current town were anything like some of the people in my hometown, I would be glad I didn't participate in town-wide activities.
Some of you have a lot of explaining to do. Some of you have a lot of apologizing to do. Some of you need to get right with God because He is seeing what you are doing and hearing what you are saying. And He sees you go from one person to the next to the next and to the next; each time telling maybe just one detail different from the previous time. Until eventually, you have blown a simple little story so out of proportion that when your original story comes back around, you don't even recognize it anymore.
Let's talk about the Mayoral race in Bedford. I think it's A-M-A-Z-I-N-G that three people are running for the Mayor position. That just means that a lot of people are taking the real issues of Bedford and choosing to do something about them. That IS what the mayor's job is, right?
I will say that I know the three candidates that are running for Mayor of Bedford. I also know the current Mayor that is stepping down. I have known most of these people many, many years, if not, my whole life. Now, I am going to go out on a very thin limb here and let you know some details of some of the things that I have been "taking notes" on.
I understand that I don't live in Bedford so my opinion will weigh about as much as a gnat's ass but I'm going to give you what I got anyway. But keep in mind, this is MY opinion.
How would you like it if someone came after you and your family for every single thing you did? How would you like to be "attacked" on an almost daily basis every day you went to work? How efficient do you think your work would be when, day after day, week after week, someone kept personally attacking each and every issue you handled? Let me ask you another question. How long would you go out in the public and participate in ANYTHING if you had to look at a piece of paper on the counter of ANY business...seeing the signatures of those people you have grew up around...people you have called your friends...saying that they want pretty much your every work move, checked, re-checked and then checked again? Is that the kind of community YOU would want to live in? What the hell happened to being honest and upfront with people? What the hell are you people scared of? If you have a question of someone in your community, for the love of fried pickles, ASK THEM.
WHAT IS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I'm telling you right now that I would be ashamed to live in such a place. If I was that person...the one getting attacked for every single thing I did...I would move. I would run and I would never have one nice thing to say for that town again. And I would tell everyone. I would post it on every piece of social media there was to post it on. I would start putting some pressure on some people and demand that they be held accountable for their actions; PAST AND PRESENT.
I have a friend from Bedford that is damn good at her job. She has been since the day she got it. And there might have been a time or two when I got angry because of a bill I received, that she sent out, but I guarantee you this.....I am adult enough to understand that she is just doing her job. She doesn't set rates. She doesn't decide who gets to pay more or less. She does what she gets paid to do. And if she wasn't good at her job.....guess what? She would have been fired years ago! Yet every day she goes back. To the job she loves. For the people in her community. Just so she can be hammered and ridiculed again and again.
How would you like to be in charge of the finances for a large corporation and because the new guy in the mail room...that wants to be CEO someday...doesn't like you, your family, or the fact that maybe your father is the current CEO...forces an audit on you everytime he pops a piece of gum in his mouth? How would that feel? At first, it might be funny. After a couple of unnecessary times though, it gets wearisome on anybody that has to go through it. There's nothing to be scared of as long as you're doing your job, right? And every audit costs the city more and more money.
How would you like it if you were on a committe with someone from your community and seemed to get along just fine, and then one day find out that this one certain person, whom you've always gotten along with (not best friends here people, just someone you've gotten along with), has been talking smack behind your back? How would that make you feel? Let's be honest. You don't have to be close friends to hurt someone's feelings and you don't have to be an enemy to be a real d-bag either.
Here's something that we see in each and every political race. Mudslinging. Grow up folks. Act your age. This isn't a Presidental race. There's no reason to be a hairy jerk about things. There's a time and a place to speak your platform but being mean and spiteful isn't what it should be about. Is that the kind of Mayor you want to lead your town? Someone that is CONSTANTLY down-grading the people of the town? Someone that is CONSTANTLY digging and digging at one group in particular, just to bring them to their knees and see them beg? Who wants that kind of dick at the helm?
We all have bad days. We all get grouchy. We all say things or do things that might be misinterpreted by others just simply because of our body language and/or tone of voice. Is that fair to judge someone because of the stress they are under at the time? Are we stopping to think about what issues and hurdles that person may have had to deal with or jump today? Or have we just stopped caring? As a community, we try to protect those we love in any way possible. As a community, you are dropping the ball by letting people talk about YOUR friends; YOUR town; YOUR neighbors. It's disgusting.
I like the people I work with. That doesn't mean that I want to go sing Karaoke with them on our days off. What I really mean to say is that I can tolerate most of the people I work with. The others I truly like to be around. SO...I had a situation not long ago where one of my co-workers kept riding my ass; day-in and day-out every single day; simply because I made ONE mistake...do you think it effected me? Do you think it effected those I worked with? Do you think it made the workplace a hostile environment? Is THAT the kind of town you want to live in? One where your town leader is CONSTANTLY looking for the bad in every situation? Pushing for and thriving on a hostile tone?
Here's something else I have found in my "notes." How would it make you feel if your Mayor didn't give a hoot's patootie about your views because you are a registered voter of a party they don't like? I don't care what your political views are when it comes to our damned President of the United States. Local is local. These are the people you do business with. These are the people that babysit your children. These are the people you babysit for. These are the people that carry your groceries out to your car. Let's keep this race in it's context people. Let's start CARING about what is really going on and who it is really effecting.
Where I live, I have an awesome Mayor. He has been at it so long and is so good at it, we just call him "Mayor." I just saw him in the lumber yard today and said, "Hi Mayor." That is something I absolutely love about my current town. My Mayor volunteers on a lot of local committees and is present IN our community. You name it...he has, is, or does help with it. He doesn't have to blow his own horn about what he has done because THE PEOPLE KNOW. We can see it with our very eyes.
My Mayor doesn't get on his Facebook page and boast to everybody about WHY he's a better person than anyone else. My Mayor doesn't run to Facebook to brag about what he has done "out of the goodness of his heart." He just does it and goes back to work. And that my friends, is why he is good at his job.
I think the people of Bedford need to stop and take a long hard look at what you really are. A small town. You aren't a metropolis. You aren't even a big city. What you ARE is a small-town. You ARE the heart of what is important in life. You ARE what every city and every metropolis once was...and lost. Don't give that up because someone wants to step up and make a name for themselves. Because someone's britches are too damned big for them. Unless you are a big-business, you shouldn't run like a big-business. I urge you to take the road less travelled and pick the grown-up candidate. The one that is truly in it for Bedford. Not for themselves. Not for their benefit. Not for their reward. This election has to be about Bedford and nothing/nobody else.
Going back to the part where you are in charge of finances for that big corporation. After many, many years of success, how would you like it if that mail guy accused you of "insider trading," or "falsifing documents?" Would be pretty damn shocking, would it not? These things of course are examples but this is the exact kind of person that wants to take care of Bedford. Did you know that? Were you aware? Do you REALLY know the personal agendas that some of the candidates have?
One of your candidates threw a hissy fit because the Mayor used equipment of the city's for personal use...WITH PERMISSION FROM THE COUNCIL...and might I add, before it was policy to not do this. But it was okay that this candidate used some city equipment himself, before the policy got changed.. If that doesn't spell hypocrite, I don't know what does! Why is it okay for this guy to use some of the city's equipment and not anyone else, what is on his agenda?? ThIs isnt the first tiMe I have talked about this man and hIs lying manipulative ways.
Over the past couple of years, I have heard people relay that this guy...this candidate... is "pissed about the Mayor doing this... and pissed about the Mayor doing that..." Who gives a rat's ass what that Mayor is doing on his personal time?? I have my own issues and so do you and so do your candidates. Let me ask you this: If this person becomes the next Mayor of Bedford, is he going to have his door open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Because if so, I think some of you should be on his doorstep between the hours of 1:00am and 5:00am Mondays through Fridays. If he wants to be a jerk, then bring jerk to his door. Does he not have a family to take care of? Is his wife not going to be stressed at how people react to her when they don't like HIS politics? Because that my friend, is what is going on in little ole Bedford, Iowa.
Because someone is family, doesn't mean they have the same morals; the same values; the same way of thinking; and it damn sure doesn't mean they agree on everything. If there's anything I can attest to, it is the aforementioned. Because you don't like what the current Mayor is doing, doesn't mean his whole family is to be stoned. They do not wear the Scarlet Letter.
I will close because...well even though I could go on and on and on...I think I have given you enough to think about. If you want to ask questions, ask them. This is your town; your friends; your family; ASK THOSE QUESTIONS. GET THOSE ANSWERS!!
I see a huge personal agenda going on in the Mayoral race in Bedford and I dont even live there!! Open your eyes folks. One of your candidates wants to, upon being elected, spend half of his day IN city hall "watching" the clerks because he has been trying to get them fired for years and the other half of the day, he will spend at the city shed "watching" their practices. I am pulling the Bullshit card here and now. This guy says there should be no neputism at work. Obviously he isn't related to many people around here because if anybody came from any family over 2 siblings, you are usually related to them. Apparently all those years ago, when he left Bedford...escaped the small town life for the bigger and better things in life...he forgot what really makes a small town succeed. And that my friends, is the close-knit relationships that we need and want...to make Bedford be the kind of place EVERYONE wants to live in and raise their families in. Even the ones that left us so many years ago!
On a more personal level, I would to end this with a big shout out of thanks to Lary and Karen Wyckoff, and Doug, Tammy, Morgan, Bailey and Bradyn Thompson of Bedford. For years, they took care of my mom and many others at the Northside Apartments. They mowed when it was 100+ degrees and always had a smile on their face. They were up there before the crack of dawn, shoveling snow in below zero-temps and harsh winds, putting out salt as soon as the sun came up, so the residents of the apartment complexes and their families, could get in and out safely. They took great care of my mom and she thought a lot of them. When something needed fixed or looked at, Lary or Karen was always there that day.
I could never re-pay them for what they did for my mom. Again I commend you and I thank you and I am sorry that people that turned their backs on you and/or stabbed you in the back. I know how it feels when that knife twists and turns back there. Hold your ground, you're good people!
Until next time...thanks for reading!!
2013/10/24
It's Only Money
I want to send this blog out to the people of Taylor County. Contrary to some information going around, there is no way it could be cheaper to house inmates out of your county. As most of you know, the Taylor County jail has been closed for several months due to extreme conditions in the jail. The wall is coming off the structure and is not safe.
The county has been driving their prisoners to neighboring counties to be held for them. The shortest drive being 21 miles away. One way. Doesn't sound like much, does it? Let's break down a few things and play with this and just see where it goes.
This is all purely example so don't take it verbatim.
*Taylor County has 3 inmates in Ringgold County jail.
*Taylor County has 2 inmates in Adams County jail.
*Taylor County has 1 inmate in Page County jail.
We will say that court is held on Monday morning, starting at 9am. On Monday morning, Sheriff Weed heads to Ringgold County, bright and early, to pick up the 3 inmates for court in Bedford (29 miles there and 29 back). When the Sheriff gets to the courthouse, more than likely he will need another Deputy to assist. You know, just in case "it goes bad." So Deputy Wyckoff comes out and assists at the courthouse.
At the same time, we have Chief Deputy Bucher on duty because well, someone has to be out, right? Someone HAS to be covering the county while everyone else is out retrieving inmates. Ok, we have Bucher covering the county. We are in safe hands, that is for sure.
About 9:30am, Deputy Peterson heads to Page County (21 miles there) to pick up that inmate. So now, Sheriff Weed and Deputy Wyckoff are in the county, as well as Deputy Bucher BUT they are pretty much stuck at the courthouse with their inmates. There isn't any place to hold them in case something goes really bad because well...their jail is closed. Deputy Bucher is still covering the whole county and now Deputy Lilly has come out to assist the local Bedford/rural areas.
3 officers tied up with inmates at this point while 2 are now covering the county. Ok, this is going well so far. By the time Deputy Peterson gets back to the courthouse with his inmate (21 miles), court is over for the first three that Sheriff Weed and Deputy Wyckoff were tending to, and the Sheriff is now headed back to Ringgold County (29 miles there and back).
Now, Deputy Bucher heads to Adams County (22 miles) to pick up those two inmates, to bring them to court (22 miles). The Sheriff is now on his way back to Bedford, to assist at court (29 miles).
Deputy Peterson is done in court and headed back to Page County (21 miles there and back). Deputy Bucher is in court and Deputy Couch has to come relieve him because of an ongoing investigation on another case. After court, Deputy Couch takes his subject to the jail house (in Bedford) because the inmate has someone there to post bond for him.
Deputy Lilly has just arrested someone and will be tied up with them and then will possibly have to transport to whatever facility they decide (21-29 miles there and back). Now he has been taken off "the beat" for a while and Deputy Couch will cover patrol as he has finished releasing his subject. Remember, Deputy Bucher is now working on an investigation and Deputy Lilly is with a subject. That puts them back down to one Deputy covering the whole county again. Still.....we're in good hands folks. We have Deputy Edwards at home, resting up just in case he has to come out early. -_-
Here's another scenario we should think about. No matter who is arrested and no matter what it is for, they have to see a Magistrate within the first 24 hours. So, Deputy Bucher, as part of his investigation, makes an arrest at 2am. And if that isn't inconvenient enough, our county Magistrate is out of town on vacation. His fill-in is the Page County Magistrate. It would work out perfect if they could take this subject to Page County and have it all done, wouldn't it?
It's not happening. In MY scenario, Page County Jail is FULL. To capacity. Now if THEY arrest anyone, that person will have to be shipped to someone else's jail. See how this works? So, no room in Page County so they take the subject to Adams County. Guess what. The next morning, one of the Taylor County Deputies has to make a trip to Corning (22 miles) to pick up the new arrestee and take them either to Bedford (22 miles) OR to Clarinda (35 miles) JUST to see the Magistrate. If bond is set, the person is taken to the Sheriff's Office (if Magistrate came to Bedford) or back to Bedford (if went to Clarinda). If bond is NOT set or that person cannot post bond, back to Adams County (22-35 miles) they go. And then the Deputy heads back to Taylor County.
Going back a little bit to where the Page County Jail is full. How many times do you think they are going to take their own inmates to another jail before raising their prices for their inconvenience? Not long at all!
Another thing that I think is very important is the people that are taking care of the inmates. There are a lot of locals that come through their own jails. (A little further down the page, I explain "Otis" to you.) Once I spent about 20 minutes in jail. Yep, that's right. I was arrested for not paying a speeding ticket. And it was in Lees Summit, MO. Guess what? I didn't know a soul there and they didn't give one tick's tat who I was or where I came from; if I was cold or if I was hungry. They processed me...and several others...as if we were cattle. Experience tells me that I would rather have someone I know, giving me my meals; giving me my meds; doing my laundry. Because the ones that don't know me, dont' give a crap if my coffee is cold, my pudding is hot or if there's a nasty stain on my jumpsuit. I want locals taking care of me. Not strangers!
Now...there is a slim chance it is ever going to happen just like this but I guess if the stars align just right, it could happen. I hope I got everybody back to where they were supposed to be -_- We don't need any loose inmates running around!
The miles alone are outrageous just to get the inmates to their court dates. Now, let's think about how much gas is costing the county. *ching ching* Gas is currently going down but we all know how long that will last. And we all know how long it has been extremely high. Next things we can take into consideration is tires, oil changes, routine maintenance. We all know how cheap it is on OUR vehicles, right? *ching ching*
Have you heard about the deer population in southwest Iowa? Yeah, even police vehicles hit deer. So if that happens, sometimes a vehicle is out of commission for a little while. How many instances do you suppose it takes before the county's insurance premiums get raised? *ching ching*
Did you remember the overtime some Deputies may get because of having to cover on their off-time while other Deputies go out of county to retrieve inmates? How about the overtime some Deputies may get because of having to go get their inmates? Overtime, overtime, overtime. * ching ching* I don't know how they could do it without paying some overtime. The time involved in transports is consuming and wearisome at best.
I will just assume you know that these other counties don't house our inmates for free. Some charge up to $55 per day. PER DAY PER INMATE. If you have 3 inmates and it's $55 per day, that is a cost of $165 PER DAY!!! And I don't know what these counties charge. I just know what my jail charges and what some others charge that we have had to use in the past. $55 is the highest I have seen but I'm sure it goes higher. And prices don't seem to be going down these days. Debt ceiling raises and our dollar turns into toilet paper. Now imagine if these 3 inmates are in for 30 days each. That is $4950 JUST in daily charges to house 3 of them. *ching ching* How stupid does that sound??? It doesn't take an economics major to figure this stuff out!
Winter is coming right up. We have snow storms. We have ice storms. Weather delays everyone all the time. Even the Police. We can ALL be victims to the weather on a normal snowy/icy day. Why take unnecessary risks??
The last thing I am going to mention is the safety. You know, cops are people, just like you and me. Yes, they get to carry a gun and a taser but they are people. They bleed like you and I. How far would YOU like to ride with someone who is anxious and just wants to run? How are you going to control a vehicle, while keeping one or two inmates from interfering with the one that is anxious and is trying to get your gun? And guess what, there are patches of black ice here and there. Scary, huh?
And speaking of safety! Remember when I joked above about having all my people back where they belonged? Well that brings me to another point! Remember that manhunt that happened in Bedford? How often do you want to go through THAT??? Safety is a key issue when it comes to transporting. I just can't say it enough folks!!
Would you want your wife/husband/son/daughter to be the one driving someone that is a safety risk? Because EVERY PERSON is a safety risk. That's right. Statistics show that the return customers, whom I like to refer to as "Otis," are high risk as well because we deal with them on what seems like, a daily basis (as in Mayberry's own Otis), so we get comfortable around them. This is probably why I don't trust a soul; and I'm not even a cop.
No person is safe when it comes to my jail and my facility. There isn't anybody that is to be trusted. I have seen too many videos and read too many stories where inmates hide weapons where you wouldn't think they could; take a chance to wreck a vehicle in hopes of being able to run once they roll...not giving a damn what happens to that officer.
Taylor County is a beautiful place to live. Wonderful people there. Matter of fact, that's where I grew up so yeah, I like that county. What do you think happens when we send our money to bordering counties? What happens when we give them the revenue? WE boost their county revenue. WE pay more in vehicle maintenance and upkeep. WE put our officer's lives and the public at large, at risk by transporting up to several times a day. WE fill THEIR jails so that they have to keep expanding. This is our Executive branch of Government on a smaller scale.
In my opinion, there is an agenda and it isn't a good one. Not that my opinion is always the right opinion but in this case,VOTING YES IS A WIN-WIN FOR TAYLOR COUNTY.
Sit down and go over figures. Look at nothing but the numbers first. Then the other stuff. If you are from Taylor County, please spread the word. Talk about this. This not only affects the future of your county but the trickle-down effect really concerns your community and revenue.
Taylor County needs their own jail. While I'm not fond at all of the location they have picked, at least the Supervisors are ready to put it to vote. If you are from Taylor County, think long and hard about this bond issue. It's a no-brainer but make sure you are confident with your choice; your decision. Talk it up with your neighbors; co-workers; children; everyone.
It's time to be vigilant Taylor County. It really is up to you!
Until next time.....thanks for reading!!
The county has been driving their prisoners to neighboring counties to be held for them. The shortest drive being 21 miles away. One way. Doesn't sound like much, does it? Let's break down a few things and play with this and just see where it goes.
This is all purely example so don't take it verbatim.
*Taylor County has 3 inmates in Ringgold County jail.
*Taylor County has 2 inmates in Adams County jail.
*Taylor County has 1 inmate in Page County jail.
We will say that court is held on Monday morning, starting at 9am. On Monday morning, Sheriff Weed heads to Ringgold County, bright and early, to pick up the 3 inmates for court in Bedford (29 miles there and 29 back). When the Sheriff gets to the courthouse, more than likely he will need another Deputy to assist. You know, just in case "it goes bad." So Deputy Wyckoff comes out and assists at the courthouse.
At the same time, we have Chief Deputy Bucher on duty because well, someone has to be out, right? Someone HAS to be covering the county while everyone else is out retrieving inmates. Ok, we have Bucher covering the county. We are in safe hands, that is for sure.
About 9:30am, Deputy Peterson heads to Page County (21 miles there) to pick up that inmate. So now, Sheriff Weed and Deputy Wyckoff are in the county, as well as Deputy Bucher BUT they are pretty much stuck at the courthouse with their inmates. There isn't any place to hold them in case something goes really bad because well...their jail is closed. Deputy Bucher is still covering the whole county and now Deputy Lilly has come out to assist the local Bedford/rural areas.
3 officers tied up with inmates at this point while 2 are now covering the county. Ok, this is going well so far. By the time Deputy Peterson gets back to the courthouse with his inmate (21 miles), court is over for the first three that Sheriff Weed and Deputy Wyckoff were tending to, and the Sheriff is now headed back to Ringgold County (29 miles there and back).
Now, Deputy Bucher heads to Adams County (22 miles) to pick up those two inmates, to bring them to court (22 miles). The Sheriff is now on his way back to Bedford, to assist at court (29 miles).
Deputy Peterson is done in court and headed back to Page County (21 miles there and back). Deputy Bucher is in court and Deputy Couch has to come relieve him because of an ongoing investigation on another case. After court, Deputy Couch takes his subject to the jail house (in Bedford) because the inmate has someone there to post bond for him.
Deputy Lilly has just arrested someone and will be tied up with them and then will possibly have to transport to whatever facility they decide (21-29 miles there and back). Now he has been taken off "the beat" for a while and Deputy Couch will cover patrol as he has finished releasing his subject. Remember, Deputy Bucher is now working on an investigation and Deputy Lilly is with a subject. That puts them back down to one Deputy covering the whole county again. Still.....we're in good hands folks. We have Deputy Edwards at home, resting up just in case he has to come out early. -_-
Here's another scenario we should think about. No matter who is arrested and no matter what it is for, they have to see a Magistrate within the first 24 hours. So, Deputy Bucher, as part of his investigation, makes an arrest at 2am. And if that isn't inconvenient enough, our county Magistrate is out of town on vacation. His fill-in is the Page County Magistrate. It would work out perfect if they could take this subject to Page County and have it all done, wouldn't it?
It's not happening. In MY scenario, Page County Jail is FULL. To capacity. Now if THEY arrest anyone, that person will have to be shipped to someone else's jail. See how this works? So, no room in Page County so they take the subject to Adams County. Guess what. The next morning, one of the Taylor County Deputies has to make a trip to Corning (22 miles) to pick up the new arrestee and take them either to Bedford (22 miles) OR to Clarinda (35 miles) JUST to see the Magistrate. If bond is set, the person is taken to the Sheriff's Office (if Magistrate came to Bedford) or back to Bedford (if went to Clarinda). If bond is NOT set or that person cannot post bond, back to Adams County (22-35 miles) they go. And then the Deputy heads back to Taylor County.
Going back a little bit to where the Page County Jail is full. How many times do you think they are going to take their own inmates to another jail before raising their prices for their inconvenience? Not long at all!
Another thing that I think is very important is the people that are taking care of the inmates. There are a lot of locals that come through their own jails. (A little further down the page, I explain "Otis" to you.) Once I spent about 20 minutes in jail. Yep, that's right. I was arrested for not paying a speeding ticket. And it was in Lees Summit, MO. Guess what? I didn't know a soul there and they didn't give one tick's tat who I was or where I came from; if I was cold or if I was hungry. They processed me...and several others...as if we were cattle. Experience tells me that I would rather have someone I know, giving me my meals; giving me my meds; doing my laundry. Because the ones that don't know me, dont' give a crap if my coffee is cold, my pudding is hot or if there's a nasty stain on my jumpsuit. I want locals taking care of me. Not strangers!
Now...there is a slim chance it is ever going to happen just like this but I guess if the stars align just right, it could happen. I hope I got everybody back to where they were supposed to be -_- We don't need any loose inmates running around!
The miles alone are outrageous just to get the inmates to their court dates. Now, let's think about how much gas is costing the county. *ching ching* Gas is currently going down but we all know how long that will last. And we all know how long it has been extremely high. Next things we can take into consideration is tires, oil changes, routine maintenance. We all know how cheap it is on OUR vehicles, right? *ching ching*
Have you heard about the deer population in southwest Iowa? Yeah, even police vehicles hit deer. So if that happens, sometimes a vehicle is out of commission for a little while. How many instances do you suppose it takes before the county's insurance premiums get raised? *ching ching*
Did you remember the overtime some Deputies may get because of having to cover on their off-time while other Deputies go out of county to retrieve inmates? How about the overtime some Deputies may get because of having to go get their inmates? Overtime, overtime, overtime. * ching ching* I don't know how they could do it without paying some overtime. The time involved in transports is consuming and wearisome at best.
I will just assume you know that these other counties don't house our inmates for free. Some charge up to $55 per day. PER DAY PER INMATE. If you have 3 inmates and it's $55 per day, that is a cost of $165 PER DAY!!! And I don't know what these counties charge. I just know what my jail charges and what some others charge that we have had to use in the past. $55 is the highest I have seen but I'm sure it goes higher. And prices don't seem to be going down these days. Debt ceiling raises and our dollar turns into toilet paper. Now imagine if these 3 inmates are in for 30 days each. That is $4950 JUST in daily charges to house 3 of them. *ching ching* How stupid does that sound??? It doesn't take an economics major to figure this stuff out!
Winter is coming right up. We have snow storms. We have ice storms. Weather delays everyone all the time. Even the Police. We can ALL be victims to the weather on a normal snowy/icy day. Why take unnecessary risks??
The last thing I am going to mention is the safety. You know, cops are people, just like you and me. Yes, they get to carry a gun and a taser but they are people. They bleed like you and I. How far would YOU like to ride with someone who is anxious and just wants to run? How are you going to control a vehicle, while keeping one or two inmates from interfering with the one that is anxious and is trying to get your gun? And guess what, there are patches of black ice here and there. Scary, huh?
And speaking of safety! Remember when I joked above about having all my people back where they belonged? Well that brings me to another point! Remember that manhunt that happened in Bedford? How often do you want to go through THAT??? Safety is a key issue when it comes to transporting. I just can't say it enough folks!!
Would you want your wife/husband/son/daughter to be the one driving someone that is a safety risk? Because EVERY PERSON is a safety risk. That's right. Statistics show that the return customers, whom I like to refer to as "Otis," are high risk as well because we deal with them on what seems like, a daily basis (as in Mayberry's own Otis), so we get comfortable around them. This is probably why I don't trust a soul; and I'm not even a cop.
No person is safe when it comes to my jail and my facility. There isn't anybody that is to be trusted. I have seen too many videos and read too many stories where inmates hide weapons where you wouldn't think they could; take a chance to wreck a vehicle in hopes of being able to run once they roll...not giving a damn what happens to that officer.
Taylor County is a beautiful place to live. Wonderful people there. Matter of fact, that's where I grew up so yeah, I like that county. What do you think happens when we send our money to bordering counties? What happens when we give them the revenue? WE boost their county revenue. WE pay more in vehicle maintenance and upkeep. WE put our officer's lives and the public at large, at risk by transporting up to several times a day. WE fill THEIR jails so that they have to keep expanding. This is our Executive branch of Government on a smaller scale.
In my opinion, there is an agenda and it isn't a good one. Not that my opinion is always the right opinion but in this case,VOTING YES IS A WIN-WIN FOR TAYLOR COUNTY.
Sit down and go over figures. Look at nothing but the numbers first. Then the other stuff. If you are from Taylor County, please spread the word. Talk about this. This not only affects the future of your county but the trickle-down effect really concerns your community and revenue.
Taylor County needs their own jail. While I'm not fond at all of the location they have picked, at least the Supervisors are ready to put it to vote. If you are from Taylor County, think long and hard about this bond issue. It's a no-brainer but make sure you are confident with your choice; your decision. Talk it up with your neighbors; co-workers; children; everyone.
It's time to be vigilant Taylor County. It really is up to you!
Until next time.....thanks for reading!!
2013/10/23
Getting heart healthy
I have had a heavy, heavy heart for quite a while now and it’s getting too heavy to carry around. I have to let some steam off. I have to let loose. It’s time for a venting.
What you are about to read is an entry from my journal. It is about a family feud. No, not the game; the life. My life. I am not trying to get anyone to feel sorry for me. I am not trying to gain anything by this except for closure and a healing heart. Please be biased if you know me and/or the people that I am referring to. There will be no names.
As long as I can remember, I have always felt like I have had to “keep up” with my family. They have always, whether intentional or not, made me feel like they are better than me. I feel like I have been looked down on and I don’t understand why. I have made mistakes in my life but can you honestly say you haven’t?
I have held my family on a pedestal my whole life and it has taken me 43 years to realize that just because we are family, we aren’t always family. It has taken me a long time to learn to own up to my mistakes and my choices; to say I did something bad or wrong. At least I learned. At least I can take ownership and account for my actions.
All my life, all I have ever known is to “be there” for my family. And I feel like I have done that. Many, many times. I have helped you clean your homes; helped with your children; helped with garage sales; attended ballgames; aided in family dinners in your homes; anything I COULD do, I tried to. Because if I didn’t, I felt like I was letting everyone down.
Recently I had an experience where I attended a family celebration, and although it was nice being there, I couldn’t have felt more out of place…like a stranger; a visitor among my own. I was at this family deal and it was made pretty clear that I wasn’t a true part of it. I hope to never make anybody feel that way. Especially family.
I have had to think long and hard about how to explain it and the only thing I can come up with is, it would be an experience equal to going to a family reunion and setting the different families down to get pictures taken, but they didn’t want you in any of them. How would THAT make you feel?
I live an hour away from most of my family and the only time I see them is when I go there. With the exception of a couple, the only time I hear from my family is when I make an outgoing text or call. They rarely come inbound for any reason unless it’s to ask me to do something for them. It is highly unusual that it is with them. It happens. But it is rare and it is only from a couple.
I’ve come to realize that the meaning of family can mean many different things to many different people. I have always thought that someone’s family are those that stand by your side, no matter what. Those that give as well as take. What holds true, in my own heart, is that family isn’t always those that share your DNA; but those that stand beside you. Even when you’re wrong. They don’t have to agree but they do need to make the effort to understand.
I have always wondered if the reason I was the “outcast” was because I didn’t make enough money; didn’t follow in anyone’s footsteps; married, divorced, married, divorced, married again; or didn’t ever have kids. I’m sorry if the way I celebrated my life is not up to your standards. I’m sorry that I wasn’t ready to settle down and be an adult the day I turned 18. And I’m sorry if MY choices, in MY life, have hurt YOU. You have to know that I wouldn’t have ever done that intentionally.
I spent a lot of my younger years thinking of nobody but me and did a whole lot of stupid things. I hardly think I’m the only one that has ever done that. I learned that that isn’t what made me happiest. I wanted to do for others. I love to make people smile and laugh and to please them however I could. Especially those that I love.
I sent a letter of apology to my brother and his wife, for behavior that I displayed a little over a year ago. I know that I attacked them in a way, and I know that it was an extreme thing to do. I can’t do anything more than apologize. I can’t turn back time and take it all back. What I didn’t understand about my family at that time was that not one person asked me WHY I did what I did. Not one person asked me what events had led to that moment. Maybe nobody cared, I don’t know. Or maybe they KNEW why I did it and thought it easier to "turn the other cheek." That’s how I feel right now though. Like that visitor from the earlier celebration.
I will not be attending any more of the family dinners because it is not fair to my brother's kids. If I go, they will not. It was pointed out to me that “Christmas is for the kids anyway and it’s not like you have any.” I guess it’s a win-win for everyone. And even if we were ALL to attend, how unfair would it be for me to be ignored. Put yourself in my place. How would you like to be stuck in a room where half the people weren’t allowed to talk to you and/or didn’t care if you even woke up that day, let alone showed up. Yep, it has come to that.
I have tried my best not to involve anybody in this thing between me and my brother. Nobody can say I put them in the middle of anything. I received a text message from one brother telling me to stay away from his family and that I wasn’t welcome at his home anymore. And as far as I can see, this feud (that I helped create), didn’t involve him at all. He CHOSE a side. So he basically pushed me away from his family…a family that I always have fun spending time with. And their children…whom I have always adored. I have not seen (with the exception of a few on FB or maybe once driving past in a vehicle) nor spoken to them for a year.
I got yelled at from a sister. She felt like she got put in the middle because my brother wanted her to talk to me FOR HIM instead of him doing it himself. For the record, I didn’t do that. I didn’t ask her to do anything that would put her in the middle of anything.
Another brother, I got nothing from. He did everything but shut me off completely for a long time. I was face-to-face with him in Bedford shortly after all this “went down,” and it was a struggle for him to speak to me. “What are you doing down here?” That’s what I got. Not “Hi! What’s going on?” Which is what I was expecting. I can count on one hand, the face-to-face conversations I have had with him in the past year. I know he has a good heart and does a lot of good for a lot of people in the world, but what happened between me and our brother, didn't concern him. His spouse has never involved herself in it and never wanted to. I thank God for her daily. For many reasons.
Now…I have a sister that I feel like I should take a little responsibility for. I think that my anger and my frustration boiled over onto her, which made her feel like she needed to stand by me. At any and all costs. Maybe she understands me a little more than anybody else. I will say though, that I have made it quite clear, sides should never have been taken. By anyone. She has always been here for me and I for her.
Even though she recently brought to my attention that while I’m fun to be around and do things with, I’m not the one she would have take care of her when and if the "time comes." I don't think I will ever forget the words she said to me that day. Started out with a laugh and followed up with, "My little sister would never be able to do that." I am not lying when I tell you that it took me about 5 seconds to understand who her little sister was. Sh!t, she means me! I know she didn't have any intention of hurting my feelings but she did.
I don't care so much that I'm not the one she picked to take care of her if her kids need help with such things. I guess the part that hurts is that she has chosen family members that she doesn't spend any amount of time with, to tend to her and her wishes, in her time of need. People that don’t know what she likes or dislikes. People that don’t get involved in her life. So I’m not good enough for the serious stuff in life. That was a real eye opener there, let me tell you. Well, I don’t know if I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not smart enough. Maybe I’ve been married too many times to take seriously. I don’t know….. If experience has taught me anything, it is that I shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket. Ever. EVER.
I have asked her to make amends with whatever is going on between her and the family. She refuses and I can’t do anything about that. Why distance yourself from the very people you want to take care of you in case of the worst? I don’t get it. Go see those people!!! Build a relationship!! Do something!! NOW! Before it’s too late! For the love of peanut butter and pickles!!
Anyway, I’ve done what I can. I have my own messes to clean up (and am getting it done slowly but surely) and don’t have the time or energy to clean up anyone else’s. I just hope she doesn’t wait too long because bad things happen and they happen fast. I feel like I am trying to stay afloat in a lake of my own family and I’m finally tired of treading water. My body and my mind are worn out.
I have been told I was in the wrong and that I needed to make things right; that I started this mess. I have also been told (3rd person so it isn't official) that it wouldn’t matter now if I died, because this family doesn’t need me. Hard to believe but whatever. I’m making my peace before that happens. I have to kind of start over and start doing for me. I have to start telling others no, and be a little selfish because I am crumbling in so many ways.
It is so hard for me to grasp the concept of family not giving what they get from those that love them or those they love. Finally and for a change, my husband (and someday his children), has to be my only priority. He and the few that have chosen to be here for me and stand by me, when I’m not strong enough to stand on my own. Those that want to support me and encourage me and help me pick up the pieces when I have hit the bottom and don’t know how to put those pieces back together by myself. Those are the people I need to make my life whole.
Please don’t take this as any sort of attack against anybody because it’s not meant to be. It’s meant to be me cleaning out the cobwebs and getting rid of all the bad stuff that is in my life. In my heart. It’s a way for me to start over in so many ways. It’s another way of getting heart healthy.
You may say “How was I supposed to know that your feelings are hurt? How was I supposed to know that I could help?” And if you need the answer pointed out, look at your phone history. Go ahead. Open it up and look at the history. See how many exchanges you and I have had in the past week; the past month; heck, go all the way back a year. What do you have? See how distant we really are??? This family of ours. I almost said it’s nothing new but that wouldn’t be true. People always used to comment about how close our family was and how they loved that we would get together and do things as a family. I miss that but in honesty, don’t know that I could or would go back.
In some ways it has to stop. It has to stop because it hurts so bad when you finally come to the realization that the people you would do the most for, go the furthest for, do anything on earth for, won’t reciprocate. Not because you aren’t family or because you aren’t loved, but because you aren’t “their” family anymore. I hope that makes sense to you because it took me a little bit to wrap my head around it. Some days I think I over-think things. Some days I think I under-think things.
How would you feel if the very people you loved, weren’t allowed to speak to you, look at you, or even associate with you? Maybe that explains why I rarely visit Bedford anymore. Too many bad memories and I just can’t stop making more and more of them.
I will close this for now. I will be over in my easy chair with my cup of coffee and a good book, planning my next move toward that inner peace we all so desperately need. Until next time…thanks for reading.
What you are about to read is an entry from my journal. It is about a family feud. No, not the game; the life. My life. I am not trying to get anyone to feel sorry for me. I am not trying to gain anything by this except for closure and a healing heart. Please be biased if you know me and/or the people that I am referring to. There will be no names.
As long as I can remember, I have always felt like I have had to “keep up” with my family. They have always, whether intentional or not, made me feel like they are better than me. I feel like I have been looked down on and I don’t understand why. I have made mistakes in my life but can you honestly say you haven’t?
I have held my family on a pedestal my whole life and it has taken me 43 years to realize that just because we are family, we aren’t always family. It has taken me a long time to learn to own up to my mistakes and my choices; to say I did something bad or wrong. At least I learned. At least I can take ownership and account for my actions.
All my life, all I have ever known is to “be there” for my family. And I feel like I have done that. Many, many times. I have helped you clean your homes; helped with your children; helped with garage sales; attended ballgames; aided in family dinners in your homes; anything I COULD do, I tried to. Because if I didn’t, I felt like I was letting everyone down.
Recently I had an experience where I attended a family celebration, and although it was nice being there, I couldn’t have felt more out of place…like a stranger; a visitor among my own. I was at this family deal and it was made pretty clear that I wasn’t a true part of it. I hope to never make anybody feel that way. Especially family.
I have had to think long and hard about how to explain it and the only thing I can come up with is, it would be an experience equal to going to a family reunion and setting the different families down to get pictures taken, but they didn’t want you in any of them. How would THAT make you feel?
I live an hour away from most of my family and the only time I see them is when I go there. With the exception of a couple, the only time I hear from my family is when I make an outgoing text or call. They rarely come inbound for any reason unless it’s to ask me to do something for them. It is highly unusual that it is with them. It happens. But it is rare and it is only from a couple.
I’ve come to realize that the meaning of family can mean many different things to many different people. I have always thought that someone’s family are those that stand by your side, no matter what. Those that give as well as take. What holds true, in my own heart, is that family isn’t always those that share your DNA; but those that stand beside you. Even when you’re wrong. They don’t have to agree but they do need to make the effort to understand.
I have always wondered if the reason I was the “outcast” was because I didn’t make enough money; didn’t follow in anyone’s footsteps; married, divorced, married, divorced, married again; or didn’t ever have kids. I’m sorry if the way I celebrated my life is not up to your standards. I’m sorry that I wasn’t ready to settle down and be an adult the day I turned 18. And I’m sorry if MY choices, in MY life, have hurt YOU. You have to know that I wouldn’t have ever done that intentionally.
I spent a lot of my younger years thinking of nobody but me and did a whole lot of stupid things. I hardly think I’m the only one that has ever done that. I learned that that isn’t what made me happiest. I wanted to do for others. I love to make people smile and laugh and to please them however I could. Especially those that I love.
I sent a letter of apology to my brother and his wife, for behavior that I displayed a little over a year ago. I know that I attacked them in a way, and I know that it was an extreme thing to do. I can’t do anything more than apologize. I can’t turn back time and take it all back. What I didn’t understand about my family at that time was that not one person asked me WHY I did what I did. Not one person asked me what events had led to that moment. Maybe nobody cared, I don’t know. Or maybe they KNEW why I did it and thought it easier to "turn the other cheek." That’s how I feel right now though. Like that visitor from the earlier celebration.
I will not be attending any more of the family dinners because it is not fair to my brother's kids. If I go, they will not. It was pointed out to me that “Christmas is for the kids anyway and it’s not like you have any.” I guess it’s a win-win for everyone. And even if we were ALL to attend, how unfair would it be for me to be ignored. Put yourself in my place. How would you like to be stuck in a room where half the people weren’t allowed to talk to you and/or didn’t care if you even woke up that day, let alone showed up. Yep, it has come to that.
I have tried my best not to involve anybody in this thing between me and my brother. Nobody can say I put them in the middle of anything. I received a text message from one brother telling me to stay away from his family and that I wasn’t welcome at his home anymore. And as far as I can see, this feud (that I helped create), didn’t involve him at all. He CHOSE a side. So he basically pushed me away from his family…a family that I always have fun spending time with. And their children…whom I have always adored. I have not seen (with the exception of a few on FB or maybe once driving past in a vehicle) nor spoken to them for a year.
I got yelled at from a sister. She felt like she got put in the middle because my brother wanted her to talk to me FOR HIM instead of him doing it himself. For the record, I didn’t do that. I didn’t ask her to do anything that would put her in the middle of anything.
Another brother, I got nothing from. He did everything but shut me off completely for a long time. I was face-to-face with him in Bedford shortly after all this “went down,” and it was a struggle for him to speak to me. “What are you doing down here?” That’s what I got. Not “Hi! What’s going on?” Which is what I was expecting. I can count on one hand, the face-to-face conversations I have had with him in the past year. I know he has a good heart and does a lot of good for a lot of people in the world, but what happened between me and our brother, didn't concern him. His spouse has never involved herself in it and never wanted to. I thank God for her daily. For many reasons.
Now…I have a sister that I feel like I should take a little responsibility for. I think that my anger and my frustration boiled over onto her, which made her feel like she needed to stand by me. At any and all costs. Maybe she understands me a little more than anybody else. I will say though, that I have made it quite clear, sides should never have been taken. By anyone. She has always been here for me and I for her.
Even though she recently brought to my attention that while I’m fun to be around and do things with, I’m not the one she would have take care of her when and if the "time comes." I don't think I will ever forget the words she said to me that day. Started out with a laugh and followed up with, "My little sister would never be able to do that." I am not lying when I tell you that it took me about 5 seconds to understand who her little sister was. Sh!t, she means me! I know she didn't have any intention of hurting my feelings but she did.
I don't care so much that I'm not the one she picked to take care of her if her kids need help with such things. I guess the part that hurts is that she has chosen family members that she doesn't spend any amount of time with, to tend to her and her wishes, in her time of need. People that don’t know what she likes or dislikes. People that don’t get involved in her life. So I’m not good enough for the serious stuff in life. That was a real eye opener there, let me tell you. Well, I don’t know if I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not smart enough. Maybe I’ve been married too many times to take seriously. I don’t know….. If experience has taught me anything, it is that I shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket. Ever. EVER.
I have asked her to make amends with whatever is going on between her and the family. She refuses and I can’t do anything about that. Why distance yourself from the very people you want to take care of you in case of the worst? I don’t get it. Go see those people!!! Build a relationship!! Do something!! NOW! Before it’s too late! For the love of peanut butter and pickles!!
Anyway, I’ve done what I can. I have my own messes to clean up (and am getting it done slowly but surely) and don’t have the time or energy to clean up anyone else’s. I just hope she doesn’t wait too long because bad things happen and they happen fast. I feel like I am trying to stay afloat in a lake of my own family and I’m finally tired of treading water. My body and my mind are worn out.
I have been told I was in the wrong and that I needed to make things right; that I started this mess. I have also been told (3rd person so it isn't official) that it wouldn’t matter now if I died, because this family doesn’t need me. Hard to believe but whatever. I’m making my peace before that happens. I have to kind of start over and start doing for me. I have to start telling others no, and be a little selfish because I am crumbling in so many ways.
It is so hard for me to grasp the concept of family not giving what they get from those that love them or those they love. Finally and for a change, my husband (and someday his children), has to be my only priority. He and the few that have chosen to be here for me and stand by me, when I’m not strong enough to stand on my own. Those that want to support me and encourage me and help me pick up the pieces when I have hit the bottom and don’t know how to put those pieces back together by myself. Those are the people I need to make my life whole.
Please don’t take this as any sort of attack against anybody because it’s not meant to be. It’s meant to be me cleaning out the cobwebs and getting rid of all the bad stuff that is in my life. In my heart. It’s a way for me to start over in so many ways. It’s another way of getting heart healthy.
You may say “How was I supposed to know that your feelings are hurt? How was I supposed to know that I could help?” And if you need the answer pointed out, look at your phone history. Go ahead. Open it up and look at the history. See how many exchanges you and I have had in the past week; the past month; heck, go all the way back a year. What do you have? See how distant we really are??? This family of ours. I almost said it’s nothing new but that wouldn’t be true. People always used to comment about how close our family was and how they loved that we would get together and do things as a family. I miss that but in honesty, don’t know that I could or would go back.
In some ways it has to stop. It has to stop because it hurts so bad when you finally come to the realization that the people you would do the most for, go the furthest for, do anything on earth for, won’t reciprocate. Not because you aren’t family or because you aren’t loved, but because you aren’t “their” family anymore. I hope that makes sense to you because it took me a little bit to wrap my head around it. Some days I think I over-think things. Some days I think I under-think things.
How would you feel if the very people you loved, weren’t allowed to speak to you, look at you, or even associate with you? Maybe that explains why I rarely visit Bedford anymore. Too many bad memories and I just can’t stop making more and more of them.
I will close this for now. I will be over in my easy chair with my cup of coffee and a good book, planning my next move toward that inner peace we all so desperately need. Until next time…thanks for reading.
2013/10/20
It's Preseason
Well it's here. Preseason. Time to get traps and snares in place for the big day. It's coming up in two weeks, ya know. As in years past, this year will probably have many laughs for me and Q. I hope to be able to keep my pants on all season long this time. Even if you're out in a field, where nobody is around, and your pants literally drop off of you.....you STILL look around to make sure nobody saw it. Losing your drawers while checking muskrats traps is worse though, at least in my opinion, because you have to get in the water.....therefore you have no choice but to finish your run soaked from the waist down. Almost like you pissed yourself.
Preseason. I can even smell it in the air. Camoflauge is coming out more and more. Driving up and down the gravel roads, staring down a path while hoping that guy driving past you in his truck hasn't already beaten you to it. The cute little raccoon tracks in the mud. I love seeing those. And I especially love seeing the big feeted ones.
At the end of last year, I made a list for myself. Things that I wanted to accomplish before the end of 2013. It has many many things on it. Some of which I have accomplished and some of which I haven't yet accomplished and also some of which I won't accomplish. But at least I am making an attempt.
One of the things I wanted to accomplish...and almost have...is to learn the words to the song, "Oh Holy Night." It is my most favorite song on this earth. I can hear it in the middle of July or the middle of December and it makes my heart feel exactly the same. Peaceful. But anyway...I have the words hung up and I look at them quite often. When you love a song so much though, you can't just say the words. You have to sing them. The Spirit of Peace really is in me year round. Who woulda thunk it???
Another of my goals for the year was to make more friends. I have made about 4 new friends. By that I mean I have forced myself to spend time with people that I didn't know very well because I knew I would enjoy it once I got started. And I have. Friends are nice. And it kinda helps that hurt feeling when you realize some of your longest life friends, aren't really the ones that you share your life with anymore. Sad face. Oh well.
As I look on my list of things I want to do before the end of 2013, I see one that I have held to 99.99%. No more energy drinks. I have taken two small sips out of one but felt bad so I didn't finish it. That's where that .01 comes in. Just being honest. Anyway, it's good I am over those things. One of my deputies was calling me an addict.....right before he started drinking them. I wonder if he could spell hypocrite? Ha!
So, there are a lot of things on my list. Thirty two of them exactly. And like I said, I won't do some of them but I have made an attempt at most of them so far. Sometimes you just can't do it all, I realize.
But the one thing that is on my list to do and I AM doing, is learning to skin a raccoon all by myself!! I know it will be yucky and I know it will stink to high heaven but I am going to do it. There is no reason I shouldn't. I had to learn to bait my own fishing hook and deal with my own fish so why shouldn't I do the same for my trapping, right?
Poor Quintin won't know what to do with himself if I turn out to be good at this and kick him out of his own workshop. AND of course, then I would have to clean it and organize it and........well, let's not overthink this!
Another thing we are going to learn this year...as I was just told yesterday...is how to not only skin but de-scent a skunk. Yes, you read that right. (By the way, I saw that face you made. Be careful, your face might stick like that.) If you live semi close to us and you have a skunk problem, please please please let us know! I was thinking this morning how nice a skunk skin would look on our livingroom wall!! Gorgeous!!
So as we were almost done pre-setting for the day, I came up with what I thought was a BRILLIANT idea for a new trap. I didn't want to tell Q because I figured he would think what an idiot he has for a trapper wife but I finally couldn't hold it in any longer. I bursted out with, "I have a fantastic idea for a trap......................" and so the story got told of what I wanted done and how I wanted it to work. He stopped the truck, looked me straight in the eye and said," Holy sh!t that is brilliant! How did you think of that?" "Hehehe it just came to me about 3 miles back."
So now we have come up with two brilliant trapping ideas. Getting the first one done is going to take some time. And someone with some brains. But we are on the right track.
I will wrap this up. I have no doubt there will be more blogs coming a little faster now because the antics are about ready to start. Stay tuned and stay buckled!!!
Until next time.....thanks for reading!!!
Preseason. I can even smell it in the air. Camoflauge is coming out more and more. Driving up and down the gravel roads, staring down a path while hoping that guy driving past you in his truck hasn't already beaten you to it. The cute little raccoon tracks in the mud. I love seeing those. And I especially love seeing the big feeted ones.
At the end of last year, I made a list for myself. Things that I wanted to accomplish before the end of 2013. It has many many things on it. Some of which I have accomplished and some of which I haven't yet accomplished and also some of which I won't accomplish. But at least I am making an attempt.
One of the things I wanted to accomplish...and almost have...is to learn the words to the song, "Oh Holy Night." It is my most favorite song on this earth. I can hear it in the middle of July or the middle of December and it makes my heart feel exactly the same. Peaceful. But anyway...I have the words hung up and I look at them quite often. When you love a song so much though, you can't just say the words. You have to sing them. The Spirit of Peace really is in me year round. Who woulda thunk it???
Another of my goals for the year was to make more friends. I have made about 4 new friends. By that I mean I have forced myself to spend time with people that I didn't know very well because I knew I would enjoy it once I got started. And I have. Friends are nice. And it kinda helps that hurt feeling when you realize some of your longest life friends, aren't really the ones that you share your life with anymore. Sad face. Oh well.
As I look on my list of things I want to do before the end of 2013, I see one that I have held to 99.99%. No more energy drinks. I have taken two small sips out of one but felt bad so I didn't finish it. That's where that .01 comes in. Just being honest. Anyway, it's good I am over those things. One of my deputies was calling me an addict.....right before he started drinking them. I wonder if he could spell hypocrite? Ha!
So, there are a lot of things on my list. Thirty two of them exactly. And like I said, I won't do some of them but I have made an attempt at most of them so far. Sometimes you just can't do it all, I realize.
But the one thing that is on my list to do and I AM doing, is learning to skin a raccoon all by myself!! I know it will be yucky and I know it will stink to high heaven but I am going to do it. There is no reason I shouldn't. I had to learn to bait my own fishing hook and deal with my own fish so why shouldn't I do the same for my trapping, right?
Poor Quintin won't know what to do with himself if I turn out to be good at this and kick him out of his own workshop. AND of course, then I would have to clean it and organize it and........well, let's not overthink this!
Another thing we are going to learn this year...as I was just told yesterday...is how to not only skin but de-scent a skunk. Yes, you read that right. (By the way, I saw that face you made. Be careful, your face might stick like that.) If you live semi close to us and you have a skunk problem, please please please let us know! I was thinking this morning how nice a skunk skin would look on our livingroom wall!! Gorgeous!!
So as we were almost done pre-setting for the day, I came up with what I thought was a BRILLIANT idea for a new trap. I didn't want to tell Q because I figured he would think what an idiot he has for a trapper wife but I finally couldn't hold it in any longer. I bursted out with, "I have a fantastic idea for a trap......................" and so the story got told of what I wanted done and how I wanted it to work. He stopped the truck, looked me straight in the eye and said," Holy sh!t that is brilliant! How did you think of that?" "Hehehe it just came to me about 3 miles back."
So now we have come up with two brilliant trapping ideas. Getting the first one done is going to take some time. And someone with some brains. But we are on the right track.
I will wrap this up. I have no doubt there will be more blogs coming a little faster now because the antics are about ready to start. Stay tuned and stay buckled!!!
Until next time.....thanks for reading!!!
2013/10/05
I am(mo) an idiot sometimes
My husband has been after me for weeks to go out and shoot. He says I will get "rusty" if I don't. Of course I didn't believe him because, after all, I hadn't even ever touched a gun until I met him and I seemed to have picked up on it pretty darn good. In my opinion. And in his. And to make matters worse, one of my Deputies told me the same thing. Is it not enough to have my husband harp on me???
So I dedicated my Friday off for some target time. I got up Friday morning and it had rained all night which was a little bit of a debbie-downer for me because it meant I was going to have wet feet. I can't stand wet feet. It's a wonder I even like to swim! And as I was getting my ammo ready, it started raining again. Hard.
Screw it. I will wait until it's done raining. So I get comfortable and sit down in front of the tv and play on Facebook a while. Yes, I do them at the same time. No wonder my attention span is the length of a gnat's peter.
Finally, Quintin comes homes on the end of his lunch break, to fix his door handle, and asks me how target practice went and how did I like the new bullets he got me? I'm pretty sure the look on my face clearly said "DUH IT'S RAINING!" But he wasn't getting the message. "It's raining cats and dogs out there. Do you expect me to shoot in this???" Stupid stupid question Shellie. What was I thinking??? I knew what the answer was going to be.
"Does bad weather keep people from doing bad things?" I hate it when he's right. So I load up my ammo and head to the car when he says to me, "Aren't you going to take your holster?" And I told him I wasn't because I didn't want to wear my belt and my other holster is all the way upstairs and....well you know where I'm going with this. Isn't it enough I'm going out...against my will...in the cold rain...to shoot imaginery bad guys and zombies? I think he knew he had pushed his luck enough and just got in his pickup and went back to work.
Now...here's where I want to insert what probably every person that grew up hunting, may not realize. When I first went trapping, I had to "train" my eyes to see the paths and learn to distinguish a coon's path from let's say, a deer's path, from the road. You might think it would be easy but if you have never done it, how would you know the difference? You don't. Until someone teaches you what to look for and how to recognize it. And as with anything else, when you do ANYTHING new, you have to "train" yourself...and your eyes...to see what you need to be seeing.
So...to go on with my story; I get to the farm and set my board/target up. I spray paint one area of the board so I know that is where I'm supposed to shoot these new bullets. They are Hornady Critical Unit. They are a little too expensive for my taste so I only shoot 5 of those. And I will say right now that they are cool little bullets and the end result is pretty fun. But I like my hollow points and full metal jackets a bit better. 10 years ago, if someone would have said hollow point to me, I wouldn't have had a clue what they were referring to. Guns have never been in my world until Quintin came into my world.
I picked a wide open, grassy area to shoot in. I wasn't anywhere near the highway and I wasn't pointing my gun in any direction of the road either. I had my board set up against this tree that wasn't much wider than my board and I had another tree not too far away so I could use that as my "second target." I had two spots picked out to shoot from. One about 20 feet away and the other about 30 feet.
I start shooting and have about 30 rounds popped off and it hits me....he told me to save my brass, didn't he? For those of you that don't speak ammo (LOL), this means that I am supposed to save the piece of brass that shoots out the side of my gun at discharge. Herein lays my problem. That stuff flies off faster than I can usually get my eyes around to see where it lands. Oh crap. Remember above where I said I picked a "grassy" area? Oops, I almost feel as if I did something wrong. Grassy, in this case, means almost mid-calf on me. Not too bad. As long as you're not looking for something itty bitty.
I am used to shooting the shotgun and picking up my shell casings and stuff like that. They aren't too hard to find. Ever. You wanna know why? Because they are BIGGER. I start looking around at the grass thinking, "How am I going to find these little boogers?" Usually Quintin is with me and we shoot together and he just sets up the targets and tells me where my area is. What was he thinking insisting I do this on my own???
So about 45 rounds in, I figure I better go and start picking up my brass. I don't see any. I don't see any. Oh there's one. One. ONE. I don't see any. I don't see any. I don't see any. Crap! This is hard. Until I found the first one, I really didn't know what to look for. Let me tell you, they are small and they blend right in with the dirt and grass. Oh, I found another one! I got two! TWO!! I keep looking and it took me about 15 minutes total to find the THREE that I could spot. Oh crap, Quintin is going to kill me! So I text him...he is at work..."I seem to have a little itty bitty problem."
I know it will be a while so I head back to town. I know what I will do! I will go get his magnet and take it out there and find all my brass and then I will just finish shooting. I was very proud of myself for this one. I head to town. I look like a drowned rat and I have mud from the bottoms of my (white) shoes to just below my knees. I have NO IDEA how that happens. It doesn't matter though, I'm having the time of my life.
I get home and realize that there is a padlock on the shed. Shat! I suck at combination locks so this is going to take some real patience on my part. I go in the house...mud and all...and get the combination. Back outside to the shed. My feet are wet. They are getting cold. But I keep pushing on. First try and I'm in the shed. Oh yes!!! (Someone is growing up!) This is going to be a good experience after all!!
I drag the magnet out...along with the log chain...and tried to pull the CO2 tank with it. That was almost a huge disaster! Lock the shed back up and head for the car. I better check this thing and make sure it will pick these bullets up before I get clear back out to the farm to find it doesn't. Pull the brass from my pocket, throw them down on the ground and run the magnet over them. No dice. They are not magnetized. And why would they be when you really think about it?? You don't want someone screwing with your guns/ammo with a magnet. Duh. Crap.
Put the magnet away and ended up slamming it into my knee to get it off the CO2 tank. Ugh! Then I got it stuck on the pile of log chains and that didn't go well at all. Oh dear, I may need help just putting this little magnet away! I hope the neighbors aren't watching. Torn jeans, wounded legs, curse words flying at every avenue, wet feet, who knows what my hair looked like. Oh...and did I mention that when I put my phone in my pocket, it made my pants fall off??? I knew there was a reason I stopped wearing these pants to work!!!
Shed is secured and I am back in the house. Gotta find a belt and get my shoulder holster on. That holster sure makes a difference when you are searching for a needle in a haystack. Don't have to worry about holding the gun in your hand and it saves you from going back and forth to the vehicle.
I go back to the farm. I still can't find any brass. So what's the best thing to do? Shoot some more. I mean, Quintin is going to HAVE to come out and help me find this stuff after work so I might as well get my shooting in, right? So I shot about 45 more rounds off in the same two places. THEN, I started feeling guilty. How unfair is it that I was out here shooting and not paying attention to where my brass was flying and to make Quintin come help me find it all after a full day of work. My phone is about dead and I wasn't sure what time he was getting off work so I left him a voicemail telling him I really needed him out at Great Grandpa's farm when he got off work and I hoped he wouldn't kill me. You know, kinda put that out there so he can expect something really bad like...I shot my tire...or something like that. That was at 4:00pm
At 4:30, I hadn't made anymore progress and didn't really know what I was looking for at this point. I mean, I had had some brass hit me in the forehead a couple of times (that's what I get for being a left-hander with a right handed gun) but come on, do you know how fast bullets are discharged? Well, neither do I but it's fast!! It's hard to see something that fast fly away from you when you have your sights fixated on a target! So there's something I need to work on as well. Using my peripheral's WHILE I'm focused on something in front of me. Good luck to me!
I am 90 rounds in and not having any luck finding any brass. How does that happen? I only stood in 2 places. Shouldn't be in a nice pile to my right??? Well, shouldn't it? The answer is yes. It should be. But that isn't how it happens in the real world. Pretty crappy deal if you ask me. When I'm President, rule #1 is going to be that mornings don't start until later...at least 10:00. And rule #2 is going to be that casings, shells, brass...whatever you want to call them...has to land in a neat pile that you can see. And along with rule #2, everyone must know how to shoot.
I really thought that after it rained and the sun came out...and made me sweat like a banchee...that those things would just glisten and gleam in the sunlight. Guess what. They don't! So I took my crap and went home. All the way in, I imagined the worst. I knew my husband was going to kill me. Dead. The kind of dead that I insist he do to the spiders when they come into my home. This is going to be painful. I went home and tried to find the neighborhood slut cat's baby kittens that I saw her moving from one area to another that morning. I'm just sure they are at the neighbor's house...under the porch...but I can't seem to find them. And the little slut won't lead me to them. She just wanted me to sit and pet her.
Back in the house and just get relaxed when Quintin calls and asks me what is going on. "Just pick me up at home and I will explain." So he does and I do. And he just shakes his head at me and laughs. THEN he sees where I have been shooting at. And suffice it to say, it didn't make his day. Apparently I was supposed to stay at the south end of the property where the gravel is because it's easier to find brass in the gravel than in grass. No kidding?? Maybe you won't make me do this on my own if there are going to be rules, huh?? Maybe...just MAYBE...the next time you FORCE me to go out in the cold cold rain, you will write down some of the "do's" and "do not's" BEFORE shoving me out the door!
So, after 2 1/2 inches of rain overnight and during the day...we are on our hands and knees, looking for brass. He showed me the best way he knows how to find them and within seconds, he was picking up brass. And that made me mad because I wanted to find it too! He worked in one area that I shot from and I worked in the other area. We started pulling the grass in the thick areas, and throwing them out of the way. Little by little, we started finding brass. It was hot and we were sweating. Our clothes soaked and muddy from crawling in the grass and pulling it out. My wrists were killing me. After all, they aren't used to holding up this much fat at a time. That is usually my legs' job.
My arms are made of noodles so I kept trying to tell myself that this was good for upper body strengthening. Hey, it may not be true but it got me through! I ended up sitting on my butt for a while, searching. All that got me a wet, muddy, butt and made me slower to find my brass.
Quintin wanted to stop when we had found half of them but I wasn't about to stop. There was still daylight left and I was determined to find more...even if he wanted to sit and rest...because I felt so guilty. I apologized about every third piece of brass that I found. About 30 "I'm sorry's" into this process, he admits that he done the same thing. Not too long ago. And that's how he learned his lesson. The only difference was that he didn't have to crawl through WET grass looking for his. And he didn't pass on his lesson learned. Duh!
We found almost all of them and luckily for us, we have a friend that is going to let us take the metal detector out and find the rest. Phew!!! Thank you Lord for Swaney!!!
As we were frantically pulling out grass, looking for this brass...I got to giggling. What if someone that didn't know us, pulled in here and saw us? Oh the look on their faces. I'm sure they would think we were tweakers or dopers. Lost in a haze of "I lost my stash." I told Quintin that when he sees Aunt Joan today, he should warn her that the renters might mention it looks like someone has been out there "doing something in the grass" and to just reassure her that it was just Shellie out there learning a lesson.
Oh and by the way...as much as I hate to put this in print...my husband was right. My shooting got rusty. I don't know which I feel worse about but I won't be letting that happen again...well either one of them! I will be shooting more. It seems to release a lot of stress for me. And well, we can't have any men going around thinking their right all the time!!!
I wish I had video of this whole caper because the visual HAD to be good! Hope you enjoyed my day off as much as I did. Until next time...thanks for reading!
So I dedicated my Friday off for some target time. I got up Friday morning and it had rained all night which was a little bit of a debbie-downer for me because it meant I was going to have wet feet. I can't stand wet feet. It's a wonder I even like to swim! And as I was getting my ammo ready, it started raining again. Hard.
Screw it. I will wait until it's done raining. So I get comfortable and sit down in front of the tv and play on Facebook a while. Yes, I do them at the same time. No wonder my attention span is the length of a gnat's peter.
Finally, Quintin comes homes on the end of his lunch break, to fix his door handle, and asks me how target practice went and how did I like the new bullets he got me? I'm pretty sure the look on my face clearly said "DUH IT'S RAINING!" But he wasn't getting the message. "It's raining cats and dogs out there. Do you expect me to shoot in this???" Stupid stupid question Shellie. What was I thinking??? I knew what the answer was going to be.
"Does bad weather keep people from doing bad things?" I hate it when he's right. So I load up my ammo and head to the car when he says to me, "Aren't you going to take your holster?" And I told him I wasn't because I didn't want to wear my belt and my other holster is all the way upstairs and....well you know where I'm going with this. Isn't it enough I'm going out...against my will...in the cold rain...to shoot imaginery bad guys and zombies? I think he knew he had pushed his luck enough and just got in his pickup and went back to work.
Now...here's where I want to insert what probably every person that grew up hunting, may not realize. When I first went trapping, I had to "train" my eyes to see the paths and learn to distinguish a coon's path from let's say, a deer's path, from the road. You might think it would be easy but if you have never done it, how would you know the difference? You don't. Until someone teaches you what to look for and how to recognize it. And as with anything else, when you do ANYTHING new, you have to "train" yourself...and your eyes...to see what you need to be seeing.
So...to go on with my story; I get to the farm and set my board/target up. I spray paint one area of the board so I know that is where I'm supposed to shoot these new bullets. They are Hornady Critical Unit. They are a little too expensive for my taste so I only shoot 5 of those. And I will say right now that they are cool little bullets and the end result is pretty fun. But I like my hollow points and full metal jackets a bit better. 10 years ago, if someone would have said hollow point to me, I wouldn't have had a clue what they were referring to. Guns have never been in my world until Quintin came into my world.
I picked a wide open, grassy area to shoot in. I wasn't anywhere near the highway and I wasn't pointing my gun in any direction of the road either. I had my board set up against this tree that wasn't much wider than my board and I had another tree not too far away so I could use that as my "second target." I had two spots picked out to shoot from. One about 20 feet away and the other about 30 feet.
I start shooting and have about 30 rounds popped off and it hits me....he told me to save my brass, didn't he? For those of you that don't speak ammo (LOL), this means that I am supposed to save the piece of brass that shoots out the side of my gun at discharge. Herein lays my problem. That stuff flies off faster than I can usually get my eyes around to see where it lands. Oh crap. Remember above where I said I picked a "grassy" area? Oops, I almost feel as if I did something wrong. Grassy, in this case, means almost mid-calf on me. Not too bad. As long as you're not looking for something itty bitty.
I am used to shooting the shotgun and picking up my shell casings and stuff like that. They aren't too hard to find. Ever. You wanna know why? Because they are BIGGER. I start looking around at the grass thinking, "How am I going to find these little boogers?" Usually Quintin is with me and we shoot together and he just sets up the targets and tells me where my area is. What was he thinking insisting I do this on my own???
So about 45 rounds in, I figure I better go and start picking up my brass. I don't see any. I don't see any. Oh there's one. One. ONE. I don't see any. I don't see any. I don't see any. Crap! This is hard. Until I found the first one, I really didn't know what to look for. Let me tell you, they are small and they blend right in with the dirt and grass. Oh, I found another one! I got two! TWO!! I keep looking and it took me about 15 minutes total to find the THREE that I could spot. Oh crap, Quintin is going to kill me! So I text him...he is at work..."I seem to have a little itty bitty problem."
I know it will be a while so I head back to town. I know what I will do! I will go get his magnet and take it out there and find all my brass and then I will just finish shooting. I was very proud of myself for this one. I head to town. I look like a drowned rat and I have mud from the bottoms of my (white) shoes to just below my knees. I have NO IDEA how that happens. It doesn't matter though, I'm having the time of my life.
I get home and realize that there is a padlock on the shed. Shat! I suck at combination locks so this is going to take some real patience on my part. I go in the house...mud and all...and get the combination. Back outside to the shed. My feet are wet. They are getting cold. But I keep pushing on. First try and I'm in the shed. Oh yes!!! (Someone is growing up!) This is going to be a good experience after all!!
I drag the magnet out...along with the log chain...and tried to pull the CO2 tank with it. That was almost a huge disaster! Lock the shed back up and head for the car. I better check this thing and make sure it will pick these bullets up before I get clear back out to the farm to find it doesn't. Pull the brass from my pocket, throw them down on the ground and run the magnet over them. No dice. They are not magnetized. And why would they be when you really think about it?? You don't want someone screwing with your guns/ammo with a magnet. Duh. Crap.
Put the magnet away and ended up slamming it into my knee to get it off the CO2 tank. Ugh! Then I got it stuck on the pile of log chains and that didn't go well at all. Oh dear, I may need help just putting this little magnet away! I hope the neighbors aren't watching. Torn jeans, wounded legs, curse words flying at every avenue, wet feet, who knows what my hair looked like. Oh...and did I mention that when I put my phone in my pocket, it made my pants fall off??? I knew there was a reason I stopped wearing these pants to work!!!
Shed is secured and I am back in the house. Gotta find a belt and get my shoulder holster on. That holster sure makes a difference when you are searching for a needle in a haystack. Don't have to worry about holding the gun in your hand and it saves you from going back and forth to the vehicle.
I go back to the farm. I still can't find any brass. So what's the best thing to do? Shoot some more. I mean, Quintin is going to HAVE to come out and help me find this stuff after work so I might as well get my shooting in, right? So I shot about 45 more rounds off in the same two places. THEN, I started feeling guilty. How unfair is it that I was out here shooting and not paying attention to where my brass was flying and to make Quintin come help me find it all after a full day of work. My phone is about dead and I wasn't sure what time he was getting off work so I left him a voicemail telling him I really needed him out at Great Grandpa's farm when he got off work and I hoped he wouldn't kill me. You know, kinda put that out there so he can expect something really bad like...I shot my tire...or something like that. That was at 4:00pm
At 4:30, I hadn't made anymore progress and didn't really know what I was looking for at this point. I mean, I had had some brass hit me in the forehead a couple of times (that's what I get for being a left-hander with a right handed gun) but come on, do you know how fast bullets are discharged? Well, neither do I but it's fast!! It's hard to see something that fast fly away from you when you have your sights fixated on a target! So there's something I need to work on as well. Using my peripheral's WHILE I'm focused on something in front of me. Good luck to me!
I am 90 rounds in and not having any luck finding any brass. How does that happen? I only stood in 2 places. Shouldn't be in a nice pile to my right??? Well, shouldn't it? The answer is yes. It should be. But that isn't how it happens in the real world. Pretty crappy deal if you ask me. When I'm President, rule #1 is going to be that mornings don't start until later...at least 10:00. And rule #2 is going to be that casings, shells, brass...whatever you want to call them...has to land in a neat pile that you can see. And along with rule #2, everyone must know how to shoot.
I really thought that after it rained and the sun came out...and made me sweat like a banchee...that those things would just glisten and gleam in the sunlight. Guess what. They don't! So I took my crap and went home. All the way in, I imagined the worst. I knew my husband was going to kill me. Dead. The kind of dead that I insist he do to the spiders when they come into my home. This is going to be painful. I went home and tried to find the neighborhood slut cat's baby kittens that I saw her moving from one area to another that morning. I'm just sure they are at the neighbor's house...under the porch...but I can't seem to find them. And the little slut won't lead me to them. She just wanted me to sit and pet her.
Back in the house and just get relaxed when Quintin calls and asks me what is going on. "Just pick me up at home and I will explain." So he does and I do. And he just shakes his head at me and laughs. THEN he sees where I have been shooting at. And suffice it to say, it didn't make his day. Apparently I was supposed to stay at the south end of the property where the gravel is because it's easier to find brass in the gravel than in grass. No kidding?? Maybe you won't make me do this on my own if there are going to be rules, huh?? Maybe...just MAYBE...the next time you FORCE me to go out in the cold cold rain, you will write down some of the "do's" and "do not's" BEFORE shoving me out the door!
So, after 2 1/2 inches of rain overnight and during the day...we are on our hands and knees, looking for brass. He showed me the best way he knows how to find them and within seconds, he was picking up brass. And that made me mad because I wanted to find it too! He worked in one area that I shot from and I worked in the other area. We started pulling the grass in the thick areas, and throwing them out of the way. Little by little, we started finding brass. It was hot and we were sweating. Our clothes soaked and muddy from crawling in the grass and pulling it out. My wrists were killing me. After all, they aren't used to holding up this much fat at a time. That is usually my legs' job.
My arms are made of noodles so I kept trying to tell myself that this was good for upper body strengthening. Hey, it may not be true but it got me through! I ended up sitting on my butt for a while, searching. All that got me a wet, muddy, butt and made me slower to find my brass.
Quintin wanted to stop when we had found half of them but I wasn't about to stop. There was still daylight left and I was determined to find more...even if he wanted to sit and rest...because I felt so guilty. I apologized about every third piece of brass that I found. About 30 "I'm sorry's" into this process, he admits that he done the same thing. Not too long ago. And that's how he learned his lesson. The only difference was that he didn't have to crawl through WET grass looking for his. And he didn't pass on his lesson learned. Duh!
We found almost all of them and luckily for us, we have a friend that is going to let us take the metal detector out and find the rest. Phew!!! Thank you Lord for Swaney!!!
As we were frantically pulling out grass, looking for this brass...I got to giggling. What if someone that didn't know us, pulled in here and saw us? Oh the look on their faces. I'm sure they would think we were tweakers or dopers. Lost in a haze of "I lost my stash." I told Quintin that when he sees Aunt Joan today, he should warn her that the renters might mention it looks like someone has been out there "doing something in the grass" and to just reassure her that it was just Shellie out there learning a lesson.
Oh and by the way...as much as I hate to put this in print...my husband was right. My shooting got rusty. I don't know which I feel worse about but I won't be letting that happen again...well either one of them! I will be shooting more. It seems to release a lot of stress for me. And well, we can't have any men going around thinking their right all the time!!!
I wish I had video of this whole caper because the visual HAD to be good! Hope you enjoyed my day off as much as I did. Until next time...thanks for reading!
2013/10/02
Thoughts along the way
I'm not trying to sound bitchy here but this one sticks in my "craw" just a little bit.
If you have a friend that works in the Law Enforcement field and you have a child...a spouse...a sibling...that is known for getting into trouble or is even known for doing illegal activities...do not...I repeat...DO NOT...ask your friend to do ANYTHING that might help that relative in a situation where they are participating in said activity or dealing with the police.
As our friends, we are not here to make YOUR life better. We are here to do our jobs. We are here to help the people that need our help and to assist our Sheriffs, our Deputies, Our Officers, Our Troopers do their jobs. Above that, this is our paycheck. This is how we pay our bills. This is how we have insurance. Do not put that in jeopardy. If you are truly a friend, you will not put us in that position for any reason. ANY.
Do not ask me to find out if someone is wanted. Call and talk to someone and find our yourself. But be sure it's for something you need to know. Just because arrest records are public records, does not mean that we are obligated to tell you who is arrested and for what.
Do not ask me to run someone's license plate because you don't know who is visiting your neighbor. That information has to go through a peace officer, not us.
Be a friend. Don't put your friends and their jobs, in jeopardy. I will put this out there right now, nobody is worth putting my job on the line.
Let's just call it respect.
Recently I had an experience with a woman that I had only met personally ONE time and she wanted me to put MY job on the line because HER high school kid was having a beer party and the police had found out about it. She called me...on a recorded line...asking for my personal cell number...because she didn't want to talk on a recorded line. What the hell???
If you call me at my place of work and ask me to talk on a cell phone because you don't want our conversation recorded, please do me a favor and don't make that call. Because it's going to go poorly. And it did. And not just for me but for someone else.
And while I'm at it...if you're THAT PARENT that buys the alcohol so your kid...and all of his/her friends...can have a beer party at YOUR home while you're OUT OF STATE...please don't be my friend. Just don't. I don't want any part of it and just for the record...if you're in my county, I will give that info to my Deputies so they can handle it just how they want.
And if you're not in my county and I hear about it.....well, I may just let that county know as well. You never know. Some could call me a hypocrite because I have been to my share of parties as a kid too. Hell, I was cited once for buying beer for minors. I don't care. I grew up. I have seen people hurt by the stupidness that drinking causes. I have seen death happen to too many people...a lot of those being kids...because of drinking alcohol. Kids today are nothing near responsible enough to do the things the kids in the 70's and 80's pulled off. They just aren't.
I wish someone could have explained to me when I was underage, how disappointing "drinking until drunk" really is when you're old enough to drink. It caused nothing but headaches, body aches and put my self esteem right in the crapper.
Call me a hypocrite. Call me whatever you like. But don't call me and tell me you're letting your child have a boozer. Do these people practice stupid?
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Here's something I can talk about with nothing but experience behind me. And this is for anybody. Especially you young folk.
If you are dating someone, engaged to someone, or even married to someone.....and you feel you need to keep that information a secret.....to even ONE person.....there's a reason you shouldn't be with that person. And Facebook is huge for letting people play into this stupid stuff.
FACEBOOK FRIEND RELATIONSHIP CHANGE: In a relationship
ME: Congratulations! Who is the lucky guy/gal?
FRIEND: I'd rather not say right now. It's new, ya know.
No kidding??!!?? It's a new person in your life and you want to tell the world but you're obviously ashamed to let the world know! Unbelievable. But there are those that change their status to "In a relationship," anytime a member of the opposite sex smiles at them. Maybe they don't "want to say" because they haven't let the other person know they're in a relationship, huh? Hmmmm. Can we say stalker??? 0_0
If you have gone as far as to marry someone, you felt love for them at some point. At least I hope you did. Or they have an insanely huge cash flow...which is disappointing, to say the least. Anyway, you have married this person. Why, oh why, on earth would you hide that fact from any one person? Because if you are hiding it, you shouldn't be doing it. Tsk tsk tsk
I hid the fact that I was getting married to my first husband because I didn't want my parents mad at me. Guess what. They found out in minutes on the day we went before the judge and they didn't speak to me for about 3 months. The longest three months of my life, I think.
Dumb dumb dumb. Me, not them.
I know someone who is supposedly engaged to this gal and doesn't have the kahonas to tell his mom. You know why he doesn't? Because the minute his mom hears it from his mouth, he has to move out. He has to start supporting himself. He has to be a big boy. And he's too scared to be a big boy. He's only 19 years old and works full time. What's to be scared of? If you can make the decision to get married, you can make the decision to take care of yourself you little piss ant.
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Whoa. I think someone is getting a little pissy tonight.
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I'm going to be a great aunt tomorrow. (So I started this about a week ago or so) I am so excited for that! I don't even know what her name is. I call her Robin because her big brother is Batman. Can't wait to go down and see the new addition to our family. I will try to get a picture on here.
This is Ambria. She is already such a good baby. She had an angel kiss on her cheek when she was born. All the nurses were talking about how an angel kissed her before she left Heaven. I love that thought. Her brother was there when we got there and I haven't seen him for several months! He is so sweet and happy and polite and smart and cute and has curly hair in the back and doesn't know many strangers. Well maybe he knows a stranger but he isn't mean to them! HA!
Can you tell I am in love with these kids???
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Not long ago, I got a new master bathroom. I am in love with the room and it isn't even done yet! Soon though. Soon! I have a little problem though. It seems that no matter what I do, the inside shower liner tries to mildew. I spray the shower with that anti-mildew-y stuff and leave it on the outside of the shower so it can drip on the step and I still have found myself cleaning the black stuff off the bottom of the curtain. I use the "poo-fan" when I use the shower so it's not like it's too stuffy or closed in. *sigh* I don't know what else to do. I opened the window today but it's not like I am going to do that in the winter or even in the hot summer months. What do you suggest? Does anybody else deal with this?
Someone mentioned that I should get a cloth curtain and use that. On the inside of the outside curtain? What?? Does anybody do THAT??
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A week ago Saturday, me and a couple of my co-workers participated in the Adair County Health System's annual Color Run. Although we just walked. They had a pretty good turn-out. I had hoped for more but it was okay. I believe the money stays local and it helps financially, for those that need mammograms or whatever, but don't have the funding or the insurance. Kinda like a local Susan G. Koman walk or whatever.
And speaking of walking, I am going to do a walk soon. I am shooting for October 12th if the weather permits. I am going to walk from Fontanelle to Greenfield. A smooth 5 miles with a couple of really pissy hills that I have wanted to conquer for several years. They just happen to go right by our cemetary so in case I don't make it, I can just go in and lay down and someone can throw some dirt on me. Would you like to walk with me? I would love it if you would. Bring some water...maybe I need to find a fanny pack... and your mp3 player or iPod. Once I get to the first hill though, I'm gone. Ha! Not to worry, you will catch up with me on the other side. Maybe. HA! Gotcha.
Seriously though, if you are interested in doing this walk with me, let me know. The more the merrier. Leave me a comment on here, email me @ in_boos_world@hotmail.com or call me.
And now THIS particular walk has been moved back to October 26th. I am going to start very early that morning but would still love it if someone wanted to "conquer" the walk with me.
The reason I am changing the date on this is because on the 12th of October I have to work and then after that, I will be in full costume.....glow in the dark costume.....to walk a 5k in Bedford for my great friend and sis, Connie Fleetwood. She has battled cancer many many times and walked away a winner each time. Now she has to take some chemo that is truly the most expensive crap you can imagine. So a group got together and decided to host a glow run/walk. I can't wait. You will just die laughing when you see how I dressed up for this thing! Can't wait to share with ya!
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So.....a while back I deactivated my Facebook account because life was really bringing me down. Down to places I had honestly never experienced before. I dropped out of all social networking sites...well, all but Twitter and the only reason I keep that is because I don't really know how to properly use it and most of the people that I follow or follow me.....well, we don't know each other! So it works out.
What I wasn't planning on was the "brick in the face" lesson I learned from those I associate the most with OUTSIDE of Facebook. I can't even begin to tell you how invisible...how worthless...how useless...I feel in my heart. I have been places to celebrate the happiest times and walk away without being noticed by my loved ones. Without a single thought or glance as to how much love I have for these people.
I have been working on stepping back away from people. From the people that I am related to, to the people I don't get to see very often, to the people that I feel bad about not spending time with. When I can watch a television show like Roseanne...a sitcom...comedy...and cry my eyes out because I don't...and won't...have a relationship like I just saw on that show, something is horribly wrong in my heart.
I don't feel any smiles in my heart for anyone. I don't feel any laughter in my breath for anything. I think I'm numb. And I don't know what I am going to have to do to get it back. So bear with me. I think this is going to be one long and rocky road for Miss Shellie.
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I tried my damnest, Kay! I know you wanted a funner, funnier blog this time but no matter what I do, I end up at the same finish line. Dead last. I will just keep on keeping on and do what I have to do so that I can do what I have to do. Until next time...thanks for reading.
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If you have a friend that works in the Law Enforcement field and you have a child...a spouse...a sibling...that is known for getting into trouble or is even known for doing illegal activities...do not...I repeat...DO NOT...ask your friend to do ANYTHING that might help that relative in a situation where they are participating in said activity or dealing with the police.
As our friends, we are not here to make YOUR life better. We are here to do our jobs. We are here to help the people that need our help and to assist our Sheriffs, our Deputies, Our Officers, Our Troopers do their jobs. Above that, this is our paycheck. This is how we pay our bills. This is how we have insurance. Do not put that in jeopardy. If you are truly a friend, you will not put us in that position for any reason. ANY.
Do not ask me to find out if someone is wanted. Call and talk to someone and find our yourself. But be sure it's for something you need to know. Just because arrest records are public records, does not mean that we are obligated to tell you who is arrested and for what.
Do not ask me to run someone's license plate because you don't know who is visiting your neighbor. That information has to go through a peace officer, not us.
Be a friend. Don't put your friends and their jobs, in jeopardy. I will put this out there right now, nobody is worth putting my job on the line.
Let's just call it respect.
Recently I had an experience with a woman that I had only met personally ONE time and she wanted me to put MY job on the line because HER high school kid was having a beer party and the police had found out about it. She called me...on a recorded line...asking for my personal cell number...because she didn't want to talk on a recorded line. What the hell???
If you call me at my place of work and ask me to talk on a cell phone because you don't want our conversation recorded, please do me a favor and don't make that call. Because it's going to go poorly. And it did. And not just for me but for someone else.
And while I'm at it...if you're THAT PARENT that buys the alcohol so your kid...and all of his/her friends...can have a beer party at YOUR home while you're OUT OF STATE...please don't be my friend. Just don't. I don't want any part of it and just for the record...if you're in my county, I will give that info to my Deputies so they can handle it just how they want.
And if you're not in my county and I hear about it.....well, I may just let that county know as well. You never know. Some could call me a hypocrite because I have been to my share of parties as a kid too. Hell, I was cited once for buying beer for minors. I don't care. I grew up. I have seen people hurt by the stupidness that drinking causes. I have seen death happen to too many people...a lot of those being kids...because of drinking alcohol. Kids today are nothing near responsible enough to do the things the kids in the 70's and 80's pulled off. They just aren't.
I wish someone could have explained to me when I was underage, how disappointing "drinking until drunk" really is when you're old enough to drink. It caused nothing but headaches, body aches and put my self esteem right in the crapper.
Call me a hypocrite. Call me whatever you like. But don't call me and tell me you're letting your child have a boozer. Do these people practice stupid?
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Here's something I can talk about with nothing but experience behind me. And this is for anybody. Especially you young folk.
If you are dating someone, engaged to someone, or even married to someone.....and you feel you need to keep that information a secret.....to even ONE person.....there's a reason you shouldn't be with that person. And Facebook is huge for letting people play into this stupid stuff.
FACEBOOK FRIEND RELATIONSHIP CHANGE: In a relationship
ME: Congratulations! Who is the lucky guy/gal?
FRIEND: I'd rather not say right now. It's new, ya know.
No kidding??!!?? It's a new person in your life and you want to tell the world but you're obviously ashamed to let the world know! Unbelievable. But there are those that change their status to "In a relationship," anytime a member of the opposite sex smiles at them. Maybe they don't "want to say" because they haven't let the other person know they're in a relationship, huh? Hmmmm. Can we say stalker??? 0_0
If you have gone as far as to marry someone, you felt love for them at some point. At least I hope you did. Or they have an insanely huge cash flow...which is disappointing, to say the least. Anyway, you have married this person. Why, oh why, on earth would you hide that fact from any one person? Because if you are hiding it, you shouldn't be doing it. Tsk tsk tsk
I hid the fact that I was getting married to my first husband because I didn't want my parents mad at me. Guess what. They found out in minutes on the day we went before the judge and they didn't speak to me for about 3 months. The longest three months of my life, I think.
Dumb dumb dumb. Me, not them.
I know someone who is supposedly engaged to this gal and doesn't have the kahonas to tell his mom. You know why he doesn't? Because the minute his mom hears it from his mouth, he has to move out. He has to start supporting himself. He has to be a big boy. And he's too scared to be a big boy. He's only 19 years old and works full time. What's to be scared of? If you can make the decision to get married, you can make the decision to take care of yourself you little piss ant.
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Whoa. I think someone is getting a little pissy tonight.
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I'm going to be a great aunt tomorrow. (So I started this about a week ago or so) I am so excited for that! I don't even know what her name is. I call her Robin because her big brother is Batman. Can't wait to go down and see the new addition to our family. I will try to get a picture on here.
This is Ambria. She is already such a good baby. She had an angel kiss on her cheek when she was born. All the nurses were talking about how an angel kissed her before she left Heaven. I love that thought. Her brother was there when we got there and I haven't seen him for several months! He is so sweet and happy and polite and smart and cute and has curly hair in the back and doesn't know many strangers. Well maybe he knows a stranger but he isn't mean to them! HA!
Can you tell I am in love with these kids???
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Not long ago, I got a new master bathroom. I am in love with the room and it isn't even done yet! Soon though. Soon! I have a little problem though. It seems that no matter what I do, the inside shower liner tries to mildew. I spray the shower with that anti-mildew-y stuff and leave it on the outside of the shower so it can drip on the step and I still have found myself cleaning the black stuff off the bottom of the curtain. I use the "poo-fan" when I use the shower so it's not like it's too stuffy or closed in. *sigh* I don't know what else to do. I opened the window today but it's not like I am going to do that in the winter or even in the hot summer months. What do you suggest? Does anybody else deal with this?
Someone mentioned that I should get a cloth curtain and use that. On the inside of the outside curtain? What?? Does anybody do THAT??
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A week ago Saturday, me and a couple of my co-workers participated in the Adair County Health System's annual Color Run. Although we just walked. They had a pretty good turn-out. I had hoped for more but it was okay. I believe the money stays local and it helps financially, for those that need mammograms or whatever, but don't have the funding or the insurance. Kinda like a local Susan G. Koman walk or whatever.
And speaking of walking, I am going to do a walk soon. I am shooting for October 12th if the weather permits. I am going to walk from Fontanelle to Greenfield. A smooth 5 miles with a couple of really pissy hills that I have wanted to conquer for several years. They just happen to go right by our cemetary so in case I don't make it, I can just go in and lay down and someone can throw some dirt on me. Would you like to walk with me? I would love it if you would. Bring some water...maybe I need to find a fanny pack... and your mp3 player or iPod. Once I get to the first hill though, I'm gone. Ha! Not to worry, you will catch up with me on the other side. Maybe. HA! Gotcha.
Seriously though, if you are interested in doing this walk with me, let me know. The more the merrier. Leave me a comment on here, email me @ in_boos_world@hotmail.com or call me.
And now THIS particular walk has been moved back to October 26th. I am going to start very early that morning but would still love it if someone wanted to "conquer" the walk with me.
The reason I am changing the date on this is because on the 12th of October I have to work and then after that, I will be in full costume.....glow in the dark costume.....to walk a 5k in Bedford for my great friend and sis, Connie Fleetwood. She has battled cancer many many times and walked away a winner each time. Now she has to take some chemo that is truly the most expensive crap you can imagine. So a group got together and decided to host a glow run/walk. I can't wait. You will just die laughing when you see how I dressed up for this thing! Can't wait to share with ya!
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So.....a while back I deactivated my Facebook account because life was really bringing me down. Down to places I had honestly never experienced before. I dropped out of all social networking sites...well, all but Twitter and the only reason I keep that is because I don't really know how to properly use it and most of the people that I follow or follow me.....well, we don't know each other! So it works out.
What I wasn't planning on was the "brick in the face" lesson I learned from those I associate the most with OUTSIDE of Facebook. I can't even begin to tell you how invisible...how worthless...how useless...I feel in my heart. I have been places to celebrate the happiest times and walk away without being noticed by my loved ones. Without a single thought or glance as to how much love I have for these people.
I have been working on stepping back away from people. From the people that I am related to, to the people I don't get to see very often, to the people that I feel bad about not spending time with. When I can watch a television show like Roseanne...a sitcom...comedy...and cry my eyes out because I don't...and won't...have a relationship like I just saw on that show, something is horribly wrong in my heart.
I don't feel any smiles in my heart for anyone. I don't feel any laughter in my breath for anything. I think I'm numb. And I don't know what I am going to have to do to get it back. So bear with me. I think this is going to be one long and rocky road for Miss Shellie.
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I tried my damnest, Kay! I know you wanted a funner, funnier blog this time but no matter what I do, I end up at the same finish line. Dead last. I will just keep on keeping on and do what I have to do so that I can do what I have to do. Until next time...thanks for reading.
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