So..........because of the nature of this one, I am going to make it quick and painless. I hope.....
By now, we have all heard about the death of Omaha Police Officer Kerrie Orozco. If you haven't heard about her, you must be living in a cave or under a rock. Before the story broke about Officer Orozco, I had never ever heard her name. I did not know anything about her. Not one thing. But her death has shaken me to my core. I find myself thinking about it dozens of times a day.
She was hours away from going on maternity leave. She was hours away from starting a new journey with baby Olivia. She was hours away from starting a new path in life that she had waited a long time for. Mere hours!! And that poor, sweet little baby girl will never have the chance to know her momma. She will only know pictures and stories. Sure, she knew her voice for a little bit but she will never truly get to hear it for herself ever again.
Some bastard took that all away. Some guy that had a history of making poor, poor choices, took that away from her. If this isn't a tale of "unfair," I don't know what is! And I am angry. I am a lot angrier than I ever thought I would be. I cry for this woman that I don't know. I cry for this baby that I will probably never meet in my lifetime. And I'm not the only one. I am watching this whole Midwest mourn the life of a police officer that most didn't even know. Hell, I'm watching a nation mourn the life of a police officer that most of them didn't even know.
I will tell you this; I am glad that this man...this monster...that did this, is dead. I've never been the type of person to say anything like that. I've never had it in my heart to tell the world that it doesn't bother me that this person died. But... I'm glad that the coward that wasn't big enough to "man-up" for his own damn choices, can't take another breath. I do not care that he was someone's child or someone's father; and that may seem harsh but I really don't care about that either! He was an adult and he made some pretty stupid mistakes along the way. And I don't fault him for that. Hell, we all make mistakes!! What I fault him for is for taking another human being's life. Just because he can. Just to prove what a big man he is, I guess.
Well sir, how big do you feel right now? How much of a "big man" are you walking around the hallways of hell? How does the heat feel? And don't get up. Those questions are rhetorical and I don't really care about your answer. Again, if you think I'm harsh and a bad person for stating how I feel about this matter, you can click that x up in the right corner and feel free to not come back.
I do not take joy in anyone else's pain. Not at all. And I don't feel joy in the fact that this monster died. But I am glad. I'm not sad at all and I'm not wasting any breath by saying that he could have been "fixed," or "saved." No. He had his chances. Good riddance.
I hate this man because he took the life of a police officer. Someone out there doing what they do best, with every good intention in the world. It just so happens that her best intentions weren't good enough. Her best got her the worst. Her best got her shot. Her best changed the lives of everyone around her. Her best has shaken this great nation. But not in vain. No way.
The death of this fantastic cop has strengthened a bond between the brothers and sisters in blue. Kerrie Orozco's death is going to change a lot I have a feeling. It is going to change how we all work together. It is going to change how we all think. It is going to change how we all react. At least that's what I think, see, and feel.
We have all been on the side where we lose someone we love but how many of us have lost someone that we work with and think the world of? Luckily, I am not in that club and to be quite honest, would rather just stay out of that one.
I have said this before and it's 100% true, as a dispatcher, I get the honor and the privilege to work with the best of the best. I have made some lifetime friendships and wouldn't trade them for the world. In the same breath, I would be super-human if I said I was compatible with every cop I met. Oh dear no. But let me make this clear right here and now; if something happened to ANY of my guys, I would have a hard time ever looking at another dispatch console ever again.
I'm not saying I couldn't do it, but it would be hard. And then there are the ones that I will compare to Kerrie... they are the ones that you have such a bond with, and if that fateful day ever happened, there would be no turning back. I would need you to stick that fork in me because I would be done. You will find me over in the corner, crumbled into a billion tiny pieces of nothingness. Please just sweep me up, put me in an envelope and mail me to the end of the universe because I will be no good to anyone.
I can not make myself understand how Kerrie's co-workers feel. I can not wrap my head around those that loved working with her (and there were many), never hearing her voice on the radio again. I think I would long to hear it so much I would make myself crazy by replaying anything and everything on the recorders that I could find. Even if it was something as simple as "ten-four."
Her people will never hear her joke around again. They will never share a meal with her again. They will never get to hear her stories about how maternity leave was everything it was supposed to be. They will never hear her grumbles about paperwork...because we all grumble about paperwork. It's all done. It's all over.
And then there's the community itself. Could she have given any more to her community than she already had? She was involved in EVERYTHING. She was beautiful. She was busy. She was caring. She was giving. She was so much more than a role model. She was amazing.
I didn't even know this woman. But I know she was amazing.
Baby Olivia will never remember this woman. But she will always know that she made a mark on this world. As awesome as that is, it makes my stomach churn. And then it makes me angry again.
Until next time...thanks for reading. And remember... #supportblue
It's those people that have your backs when you need it the most.
2015/05/26
2015/05/15
#weseeyou
Police Week 2015 is soon coming to a close. If you have me on Facebook, you already know that I post and post and maybe even over-post about the police and how I feel about them so I am going to bring it right on over here because I have some frustrations and well.....what better place to work them out, right?
There is so much chaos in the world these days that a good cop couldn't catch a break if it were handed to them on a silver platter. Everywhere you look there is someone putting down a cop for something they've done. They've written someone a ticket. They've driven too fast down the highway. They've been rude to someone. They didn't get here fast enough. Don't they have anything BETTER to do than stop me for speeding?? Seriously, our world has changed so much.
Growing up in the jail house and having the Sheriff as your father, you learn some pretty hard-core stuff early in life. You learn that your birthday dinner that you have been waiting for the whole week, has to wait until your dad gets back from a wreck. A wreck where someone's child died. A wreck where someone decided to drink and drive and took a chance on, not only their life, but the lives of every person in every car they met on that road; until they crossed that line just enough to ruin their life and the life of someone else. And then when your dad finally has a chance to relax and unwind, he has to put on a happy face for you and for all your house guests. Because that's what he does.
He holds in it. He puts on a new, fresh exterior, even though he himself is dying inside for what he has just seen and had to do. He hugs you and kisses you and you are thinking how lucky you are that your dad made it back so now you can get back to your dinner, cake & ice cream, and presents and he is thinking how lucky he is that he is home; he is safe; you are safe; and how much he loves his family.
You learn that even on Christmas day, the opening of presents sometimes has to be put on hold. That's a pretty hard thing for a small child to learn. But that's the lessons of a cops child. While you sit and stare at your presents, wondering what is in each one, your dad is at someone's house arresting someone because they chose to drink too much that night before and almost beat their spouse...and their child...to death. When he gets home, you stare at your dad and smile, because you are so lucky that he is home to watch you open your presents and you get to give him something you made especially for him. He relaxes in his chair, smiling at his family, holding in those thoughts of what he would do if someone dared inflict any kind of pain on those he loves.
At some point in your life, you grow up and realize "There is a chance my dad won't come home tonight." And then you start to really think about how the world keeps changing, how crime keeps changing, how life keeps changing. And it gets scary.
You learn, as you see your dad assisting the fire department at a house fire, how much you are affected by memories of your own house fire. You ask yourself "How was he able to help with a house fire knowing that he felt responsible every day of his life for not getting his own child out of his burning house?" Obviously, he was not to blame whether he believed that or not. You suddenly feel yourself grow up a little bit as you think of what he went through that fateful day and then....how is he facing this fire right now? What must he be thinking? Why would he want to help put this fire out? HOW can he help put this fire out? But you see him hold it in. You see him for the strong soul that he is. You see his courage, his might, and his commitment; not only to the people, but to the profession.
Some of you reading this may have similar experiences and know exactly what I am talking about. The majority don't see the "small" things a family has to go through. Being the child of a cop, you learn that your parent isn't always going to be at your basketball games. They aren't always going to make your volleyball tournaments. Sometimes, they may not even make it to your Christmas concerts. And you understand. Because it's all you know. I was lucky enough to have my mom and many brothers and sisters (all older, I might add) to help cover for my dad. Our family always made sure someone was there.
I'm not sure what age I was when I finally started looking at my mom a whole different way. Knowing how I felt about what my dad did for a living and what kinds of danger the job put him in, how could she possibly withstand it? A houseful of noisy, rambunctious kids and constantly worrying if her husband was going to come home that night. It takes a strong woman to be a wife of a cop. It doesn't surprise me the divorce rates among cops because at some point, it would have to be easier to walk away so you don't have to worry anymore. I'm so thankful that my mom never walked away though. And I'm thankful that my guys have wives that are strong and supportive.
As if growing up in this profession wasn't enough, working in it has given me one of the sickest senses of humor known to man. Sometimes making a stupid joke about something that happened at work is the only way we have to cope with it. It's not about disrespect at all. It's about dealing with what bothers us. And what better way than to laugh.
With that being said, recently I had a conversation with a cop who loves to push my buttons. I expect it and he always delivers. Well this particular conversation we had, I was stressing how the safety and the lives of my guys were my top priority. Of course that brought jokes. But that isn't something I'm comfortable joking about. Not death. Especially not their death. I can't even begin to tell you how the thought of one of my guys getting hurt...or worse...on the job will affect me. My heart and my soul will crumble into a billion pieces. I would never be the same.
These guys are my family, my priority. They aren't my blood but they may as well be. There isn't much I wouldn't do for them. When I go to work, I don't care if someone is mad at me when I talk to them on the phone. I don't care if Joe Public thinks I make too much money for "just answering the phone." And I don't care if you pay taxes that pay my salary (by the way, I pay those same taxes so the next traffic stop will be on me). I care that everyone is safe. I care that at the end of shift, my guys have all made it home safely to their families. The families that are depending on me to do my job to the best of my abilities and get the information that their guy needs to do his job to the best of his abilities.
If you don't want to put yourself in the shoes of a cop, try putting yourself in the shoes of someone who loves that cop. Think about how you would feel knowing the person you love with all your heart and soul...the person that is your best friend...or your parent...is leaving to go to work and there is no promise that those he has to deal with, care if he lives or dies. How does it make you feel to know that there are people out there that wouldn't bat an eye to hold a gun to your loved one's head?
Before I was born, my dad had taken my sister for a car ride late one night because she wouldn't go to sleep. Dad was a deputy at the time so they just jumped into the patrol car and drove around town. She finally fell asleep and dad wanted to make sure she stayed good and asleep before going back home, so he stopped in front of the local bank (very small town) parked the car, sat back and relaxed. Of course, his only concern at that point was Marla, and her getting to sleep. He didn't know that right behind him, there were some armed men that had made their way through the bad door and were robbing that bank (no alarms back then). He didn't know that as he sat there listening to the sounds of his little girl sleeping, one man was sitting on the roof and had his gun sites set right to his head and was ready to shoot him if he made the slightest move to get out of that car. He learned all of that later. When they arrested those men.
So, for those of you that don't support the police, how would you like to do their job? How would you like your spouse to do their job? How would you like your child to do their job? It takes a special person, with a special heart, and a hell of a lot of courage, to do what they do. And to be ridiculed by so many because of some wrong-doings of a few. The good cops and the good things they do, greatly out-weigh the bad cops and the bad things they do. I'm glad that finally, the police are getting some positive recognition, and I am proud to be on this team. I hope all my guys know how proud I am of them, and how much I appreciate them. And I hope, that if their wives ever read this, they already know that this dispatcher's first and foremost priority, is his safety.
#weseeyou #idispatch #supportlawenforcement
There is so much chaos in the world these days that a good cop couldn't catch a break if it were handed to them on a silver platter. Everywhere you look there is someone putting down a cop for something they've done. They've written someone a ticket. They've driven too fast down the highway. They've been rude to someone. They didn't get here fast enough. Don't they have anything BETTER to do than stop me for speeding?? Seriously, our world has changed so much.
Growing up in the jail house and having the Sheriff as your father, you learn some pretty hard-core stuff early in life. You learn that your birthday dinner that you have been waiting for the whole week, has to wait until your dad gets back from a wreck. A wreck where someone's child died. A wreck where someone decided to drink and drive and took a chance on, not only their life, but the lives of every person in every car they met on that road; until they crossed that line just enough to ruin their life and the life of someone else. And then when your dad finally has a chance to relax and unwind, he has to put on a happy face for you and for all your house guests. Because that's what he does.
He holds in it. He puts on a new, fresh exterior, even though he himself is dying inside for what he has just seen and had to do. He hugs you and kisses you and you are thinking how lucky you are that your dad made it back so now you can get back to your dinner, cake & ice cream, and presents and he is thinking how lucky he is that he is home; he is safe; you are safe; and how much he loves his family.
You learn that even on Christmas day, the opening of presents sometimes has to be put on hold. That's a pretty hard thing for a small child to learn. But that's the lessons of a cops child. While you sit and stare at your presents, wondering what is in each one, your dad is at someone's house arresting someone because they chose to drink too much that night before and almost beat their spouse...and their child...to death. When he gets home, you stare at your dad and smile, because you are so lucky that he is home to watch you open your presents and you get to give him something you made especially for him. He relaxes in his chair, smiling at his family, holding in those thoughts of what he would do if someone dared inflict any kind of pain on those he loves.
At some point in your life, you grow up and realize "There is a chance my dad won't come home tonight." And then you start to really think about how the world keeps changing, how crime keeps changing, how life keeps changing. And it gets scary.
You learn, as you see your dad assisting the fire department at a house fire, how much you are affected by memories of your own house fire. You ask yourself "How was he able to help with a house fire knowing that he felt responsible every day of his life for not getting his own child out of his burning house?" Obviously, he was not to blame whether he believed that or not. You suddenly feel yourself grow up a little bit as you think of what he went through that fateful day and then....how is he facing this fire right now? What must he be thinking? Why would he want to help put this fire out? HOW can he help put this fire out? But you see him hold it in. You see him for the strong soul that he is. You see his courage, his might, and his commitment; not only to the people, but to the profession.
Some of you reading this may have similar experiences and know exactly what I am talking about. The majority don't see the "small" things a family has to go through. Being the child of a cop, you learn that your parent isn't always going to be at your basketball games. They aren't always going to make your volleyball tournaments. Sometimes, they may not even make it to your Christmas concerts. And you understand. Because it's all you know. I was lucky enough to have my mom and many brothers and sisters (all older, I might add) to help cover for my dad. Our family always made sure someone was there.
I'm not sure what age I was when I finally started looking at my mom a whole different way. Knowing how I felt about what my dad did for a living and what kinds of danger the job put him in, how could she possibly withstand it? A houseful of noisy, rambunctious kids and constantly worrying if her husband was going to come home that night. It takes a strong woman to be a wife of a cop. It doesn't surprise me the divorce rates among cops because at some point, it would have to be easier to walk away so you don't have to worry anymore. I'm so thankful that my mom never walked away though. And I'm thankful that my guys have wives that are strong and supportive.
As if growing up in this profession wasn't enough, working in it has given me one of the sickest senses of humor known to man. Sometimes making a stupid joke about something that happened at work is the only way we have to cope with it. It's not about disrespect at all. It's about dealing with what bothers us. And what better way than to laugh.
With that being said, recently I had a conversation with a cop who loves to push my buttons. I expect it and he always delivers. Well this particular conversation we had, I was stressing how the safety and the lives of my guys were my top priority. Of course that brought jokes. But that isn't something I'm comfortable joking about. Not death. Especially not their death. I can't even begin to tell you how the thought of one of my guys getting hurt...or worse...on the job will affect me. My heart and my soul will crumble into a billion pieces. I would never be the same.
These guys are my family, my priority. They aren't my blood but they may as well be. There isn't much I wouldn't do for them. When I go to work, I don't care if someone is mad at me when I talk to them on the phone. I don't care if Joe Public thinks I make too much money for "just answering the phone." And I don't care if you pay taxes that pay my salary (by the way, I pay those same taxes so the next traffic stop will be on me). I care that everyone is safe. I care that at the end of shift, my guys have all made it home safely to their families. The families that are depending on me to do my job to the best of my abilities and get the information that their guy needs to do his job to the best of his abilities.
If you don't want to put yourself in the shoes of a cop, try putting yourself in the shoes of someone who loves that cop. Think about how you would feel knowing the person you love with all your heart and soul...the person that is your best friend...or your parent...is leaving to go to work and there is no promise that those he has to deal with, care if he lives or dies. How does it make you feel to know that there are people out there that wouldn't bat an eye to hold a gun to your loved one's head?
Before I was born, my dad had taken my sister for a car ride late one night because she wouldn't go to sleep. Dad was a deputy at the time so they just jumped into the patrol car and drove around town. She finally fell asleep and dad wanted to make sure she stayed good and asleep before going back home, so he stopped in front of the local bank (very small town) parked the car, sat back and relaxed. Of course, his only concern at that point was Marla, and her getting to sleep. He didn't know that right behind him, there were some armed men that had made their way through the bad door and were robbing that bank (no alarms back then). He didn't know that as he sat there listening to the sounds of his little girl sleeping, one man was sitting on the roof and had his gun sites set right to his head and was ready to shoot him if he made the slightest move to get out of that car. He learned all of that later. When they arrested those men.
So, for those of you that don't support the police, how would you like to do their job? How would you like your spouse to do their job? How would you like your child to do their job? It takes a special person, with a special heart, and a hell of a lot of courage, to do what they do. And to be ridiculed by so many because of some wrong-doings of a few. The good cops and the good things they do, greatly out-weigh the bad cops and the bad things they do. I'm glad that finally, the police are getting some positive recognition, and I am proud to be on this team. I hope all my guys know how proud I am of them, and how much I appreciate them. And I hope, that if their wives ever read this, they already know that this dispatcher's first and foremost priority, is his safety.
#weseeyou #idispatch #supportlawenforcement
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