Your Tour of Duty has Ended

Today (Thursday), I attended the funeral of a man that I have admired for as long as I can remember. Since the moment I walked out of that church, I have been putting words together in the back of my head. I feel I need to explain to you how much this man means to me; how much of an icon he truly is, in my book.

His name is David Dudley. I will refer to him as both Dave and David because I called him both. I will never forget this man as long as I live. I believe it takes one of two things to make a life-long impression on a person. Either a shiny heart or a dark heart.

Rev. Herbert Vestal spoke at David's funeral. Not only reading the obituary but also gave the sermon. While giving the sermon, he spoke about stories that Dave had told him. He told things that he and David had discussed. He made us laugh and he made us cry. One thing that was constant throughout his whole speech was me shaking my head. Either because I could see Dave doing the things he said or I could hear him telling the story. But mostly, it was because all the wonderful and amazing qualities that the Reverend spoke about Dave. I knew he was right on about every one of them.

David and his fantastically gorgeous wife Susan, came to Bedford in 1970, or somewhere around that time. They had three absolutely wonderful kids. And I don't mean they turned out wonderful. I mean they were truly wonderful. I do not have one bad memory of David, Susan, Amy, Brian or Mark. Not one. That's pretty good for kids because we all know kids can be such turds sometimes. Not these kids though. And I'm not trying to make them out to sound like they were perfect and walked on water or anything. There's no doubt in my mind that there are stories...just waiting to be told!! I just remember they were polite and respectful of others. Maybe Dave and Susan should have been holding parenting classes, I don't know.

They sure knew something that most others didn't know. That is a given.

I remember time after time after time, playing with Amy. At her house or at mine. I was always jealous because she had red hair and I would ask my mom why I couldn't have red hair too!

My most vivid memory is when their house caught on fire. They lived in a big beautiful home on Court street and in the late hours of the night, the home caught on fire. It was completely destroyed. Of course, being in a small town, the fire whistle blew (that was right across the street from the jail house) and everybody went looking to see the excitement. And they did. There were people everywhere. I'm not sure what year it happened but I remember being across the street, in my nightgown, and watching their house burn down. It upset me so much because I didn't know what was going to happen to my friend now. Where was she going to live? WHERE WAS AMY GOING TO LIVE NOW?

I'm sure my distress was coming from my own experience of a house fire and all my brothers and sisters being “farmed out” to the neighbors. Of course I wasn't old enough to understand that my friend was going through distress of her own.,,and rightly. All I knew was that my heart hurt because Amy didn't have her bed anymore. I didn't know where she was going to sleep. Funny how that seems so 'big” to such a little girl. I have always carried that feeling with me.

So it is a damn shame that I never kept in touch with the Dudley family after they moved away. I should have been a better friend and wrote letters, made phone calls, even asked my parents to take me to visit them. But I guess as kids, we don't think about that. I'm not sure what we thought about things like that. Maybe “They will come back. This is their home.” or “I will never see my friend again.”

Many times, Dave would stop into the Sheriff's Office when he was working in the area and several of those times, I was lucky enough to be around. Ya know, thinking back, EVERY memory I have of David, he was wearing his Trooper uniform. I cannot recollect him wearing anything else. Watching the video presentation today at the church, there were so many pictures of him in his t-shirts and jeans but I was most comfortable with him in Brown. THAT was the David Dudley that stuck in my heart. He may well have been the reason I always thought State Troopers were the best!

A few years ago, I was at the Iowa Law Enforcement Academy for some training and our instructor mentioned his name and my ears must have perked up because she picked up on it. Next thing I know, she is calling him on her cell phone, telling him she has another Weed in her class and to give her a call. Right in the middle of our class!!!!!

That same day we were out on a “field trip” and Dave returned her call. She handed me the phone and I felt like I had won the lottery. I told everyone I knew. She passed his number along to me and I told him I would be seeing him. Well I did see him. That next Christmas. I took a platter of cookies to him and Susan and we had an amazing visit. I didn't want to leave but I didn't want to be rude and say “Hey, I'm spending the night!” Ha!

A couple of other times I had stopped by the house but they weren't there. So recently, Kathy and I were in town and we decided to go see them. We didn't do the polite thing like call to see if they were home; if they wanted company. Nope, we just pulled into the driveway. I made Kathy go to the door by herself to see if they would know who she is...and maybe because I wasn't sure it was the right house. (I told Kathy if it wasn't one of them that answered the door, I was taking off without her!) Of course Susan answered the door and she knew immediately who Kathy was. Phew! Shut the car off!

We stayed for hours. And we both could have stayed for several more hours. Especially after they told us that the doctor's had given Dave six months. I can still hear Susan telling us. Whatever she said after that though...well I don't really know. What I DO remember is them both perking up and telling us all the things they had planned for the next few months. All I could do was kick myself in my own ass for not visiting more; for not looking them up sooner; for not being the friend I wanted to be to them.

The Reverend, when he spoke, said some pretty astounding things about Dave. Things that I guess I never really thought about until they were said out loud. Things that made me want to be a better person.

“When you visited with David, he made you feel like you were his world. Nobody mattered but you.”

And that made me think hard and fast. It goes for Susan as well. ANY TIME I have ever spoken to David and Susan, the conversation was always directed around me. Around my life. Around my world. And eventually they got to themselves. I don't know two other people in my life that can take something as earth-shattering as “...six months to live,” and make it sound like they are about to embark on the biggest and most interesting journey of their lives. But that's what they did. Everything about them is positive and light to me. You can't help but have a shiny heart after just being in the same room as those two.

Another thing that the Reverend mentioned about Dave was “He never had an unkind word to say about anyone.” Now, that being said...keep in mind he was in law enforcement. I'm sure there were one or two people that made him cuss. But, the Dave I know and remember and love, always had something good to say. Even when it came to someone he had to “detain.” He could find sunshine in the darkest of someone's hours.

Even as I sat in that church, I could feel Dave's presence. Telling us all to stop that crying and laughing along with all the ribs that he got. Mr. Dudley you made such an impression on me at such an early age and in the past few years, renewed that impression; filled with love and grace and gratitude and God and all that is good. Until the day I take my last breath, you will be one that is forever with me. I am honored to have known you and to have loved you.

I, like the good Reverend, will not say goodbye to you dear friend. I will say SO LONG. Because we will meet again.

I'm not quite sure of the year the Dudley's left Bedford but they certainly made an impression. A huge one. A positive one. My life would not be the same without this family. Even though I didn't see them for years. Again, I just had to say that a lot of things that Dave was and stood for, are a lot of things I want to see in myself.

Thank you dear friend. You will never ever be forgotten, and every time I hear your name, I will smile and say “He is my friend!” And every time I think about you, I will remember my childhood and all the wonderful things it held for me.

Your tour of duty has ended friend.  You are home now.  Where you are supposed to be.