Proud to be an American!

Maybe when Kathy and I plan our next spontaneous road trip, we need to make sure we get plenty of sleep the night before. Not only for our sake but for the sake of anyone and everyone we meet. While walking around the town of New Market on July 4^th, she and I decided that on the next morning we would get up early and head northbound to see this State Park that we have a photo showing us being at when we were very little. I was probably two.

So we didn't get home until late. I guess we forgot that we would have a long drive home. Me more than she though. By the time I got home, I was wide awake and had a hard time going to sleep and then in the wee morning hours was awakened by my dog barking out my bedroom window. Barking at the thunder that was headed our way. And good morning to me. An hour and a half before my alarm was supposed to go off.

Thirty minutes was about all I could take of tossing and turning before I decided I better get in the shower before the lightning started and I would get electrocuted in the nude. There isn't an EMT on this earth that will want to come on that call, I assure you.

After my shower, I got my bag packed and sat down for some tv and just when I got comfortable, the skies opened up, shooting lightning and dropping barrels of rain. So guess what? NO tv! * sigh * Just my luck! If this was a preview of what was in store for our day, it was going to be interesting, to say the least!

So Kathy and Jackie pick me up and we head north out of Fontanelle. We were gabbing away about how much fun we had at the fireworks show and as we near the little spot called Canby, I see a dog running toward the road. Beautiful golden retriever I believe. I say, “Whoa dog.” Okay I didn't scream it but I said it loud enough for Kathy to understand that there was a dog getting ready to run under her tires. But no...she keeps on going at whatever speed she had been going. So I feel the urgent need to say a little louder...okay this time was a yell...”There's a dog!” Finally she slammed on the brakes and the dog was safe and we come to the stop sign...

And we sit there. And laugh. And laugh. And we laughed so hard we couldn't breathe. And that made us laugh even harder. You are probably wondering what was so funny about that so I will tell you. The other day we were sitting at a four-way stop sign in Bedford and as I let off the brake to go forward, a truck is approaching from the south...on Kathy's side. She says, “truck.” I start to press on the gas pedal to cross the intersection and she says louder, “Truck.” I keep going across the intersection, only to hear Kathy yell “TRUCK!!!” And I answer just as loud, “It's a four-way stop!”

Pretty sure the guy in the truck thought Kathy was an insane passenger. Maybe she was. Haha. We laughed for a long time about that one. I mean even today we are still laughing about it. So when I had to scream...I mean yell, “DOG,” it just made us start laughing all over again. I still am not sure if she thought me saying “Whoa dog” was me talking to her. For the record, I have never referred to my siblings as “dog.”

Anyway, on the way to destination, we picked up our friend Joan. She is always cooped up in the hospital taking care of her son so we thought she would like a chance to relax and be with the girls. I don't know if she knew what she was getting herself into but she DID join us on the hell trip to Storm Lake and the cockroach motel so maybe she did know what she was getting into. ;-)

She even wore her patriotic boa!  I was so bummed I didn't wear my hot pink pants and rainbow leg warmers!!

We headed north and about a quarter of the way to destination, I fell asleep. Yes I did. Not Jackie. Me. And as far as I know...nobody took a picture of me. Score. I even tried to talk Jackie into taking a nap with me but she wasn't having it. Oh well! Nice 10-15 minute power nap for me.

On the Atlas, I saw that our exit was just a few miles short of the Minnesota line so we decided to cross over so Jackie could say she has been to another state.

So back to Iowa we went. Exited at 203 and headed west. We first came to the town of Hanlontown, where we tried to get the attention of a man push mowing his yard. To no avail, we went on down the street. An older gentleman on a rider told me that in the next town is a little store on the south side of the road. To Fertile we went. Yes, you read that right. Fertile.

False advertisement people. It isn't a grocery at all. It's a convenience store. Duh. But we loaded up on picnic items and headed out. We couldn't wait to get to this park and see this tower that we took that picture on so many years ago. As we entered the park, it was beautiful. Tree filled lane and curvy. I should have been taking more pictures but I was so excited!

We pull up to the observation area and ask this young couple where the trail was. The girl looks into the car and points behind us and says, “Up that trail. And it's up all the way.” Joan and I are pretty sure she saw four fat girls and thought we weren't up for the challenge. Boy was she wrong! What we weren't paying attention to was that the boy was spraying the girl heavily with bug spray. We were dumb dumb dumb girls not paying attention to that!

The kids take off up the trail and shortly after, we followed. They were gone in seconds. As we start ascending the rock trail, we get viciously attacked by swarm after swarm of mosquitoes. I guess all those flooded fields should have been a red flag but our excitement took over our common sense.

I got to the clearing first and was walking across a grassy lane when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It startled me at first and I jerked around, to see something jump up (or so I thought at the time) out of the grass. And I screamed. Loud. Joan was right behind me and Kathy and Jackie were just coming to the top of the trail. When I screamed, I realized it was a pheasant that had startled me and my scream startled about 14 other pheasants. They all came flying out and I was sure I was going to piss myself. If you know me, you know birds scare the crap out of me anyway.

Joan laughed so hard at me and Jackie wanted to know what that noise was. Me screaming was the noise!!! So now we see the observation tower and it is beautiful!

For the record, Jackie was not about to walk up to the top. She was NOT having it.

By the time we got to the top of the tower, we were all covered in mosquito bites. I mean covered. I think those little buggers knew we were new, fresh meat and a lot of meat, at that! Just writing about it makes me itch!

Going down the hill was much better. Jackie and I hauled a$$ down the hill with arms swinging around our heads to try to keep the blood suckers away. We were hitting each other, killing them, before getting into the car so as not to take any more with us than we had to. And it was just like that the whole way through the park. Welcome to West Nile Isle folks. We will probably never go back so I'm glad we got to that tower!

Time to head back south. We had dinner at my favorite place in the world, OL FROYO and Kathy says to me, “You are going to have to show me how to get out of here.” Now, I must say that I knew she meant she wasn't sure how to get back to the interstate and was hoping I could get us back to Des Moines a different way. Joan on the other hand, didn't know what she meant. She looked at Kathy with the most confusing look on her face and finally said, “Can't you just scoot forward?” It's a good thing I peed before we ate our delectable dinner because I was almost on the floor laughing for real. Poor Joan thought she didn't know how to get off the little couch she was sitting on! Afterward, Joan and I walked across the street to Caseys. Kathy and Jackie had went to the bathroom and she was going to need gas in her car so we thought we would just meet them. Joan says to me, “Well why don't we make them walk over with us?” I have to say my ribs were hurting when I had to remind her that it was going to suck getting the gas in the car from across the street!

I am about to throw my friend Joan, under the bus here but it is too funny not to share. This next paragraph is going to prove to all of you that our road trips are the funnest in the land!

Joan gets out of the car at the hospital and I get out of the backseat (to get in the front seat) and we were joking about the hospital staff letting her back on the floor with all those welts on her arms and face and all I said was, “If we need to be checked for West Nile, let us know and we will turn around and come back.” To this she started laughing, bent over and a puddle appeared between her legs. She had done peed right down her leg. And that got all of us laughing all over again. Poor poor Joan! But don't worry! We didn't make her walk back to the Ronald McDonald house with pissy pants! We gave her a ride over there so she could get cleaned up. Now...I couldn't help her out with the issue of walking into that building with wet pants. But she said that was the funnest time of her life. And I think it rates right up there as one of mine too!

Maybe you should come with us sometime? Doesn't it sound like fun?

We had the most beautiful day today and I have got to spend three fantastic days with my sister and two with my niece, whom by the way said today that she had a blast! I couldn't have asked for a better holiday weekend to be honest. It was perfect. To those of you that I was blessed enough to get to see, you made my holiday that much better. Thank you for your friendship.

Until next time, I hope you enjoyed our little day trip and thank you for reading!!

These are just some extra photos that I had taken of a cool looking casino that we passed on the interstate.