2014/08/29

Watch my words

I had three days of refresher jail school this week and for those of you that just so happen to be on my Facebook, you should know by now that I don't always give "real" value to my words when I post a status update.  By that, I mean that just because I say it has been a really crappy day, it doesn't mean there weren't some things that didn't make me smile or laugh.  So, with that being said, I will tell you that I posted a status about being in jail school and would keep my remarks to myself because the instructor was on my Facebook. 

Apparently, more than one person took my status as me complaining about being there.  First of all, I complain anytime I have to go and sit at jail school.  If they want me to get excited about it, try booking Luke Bryan to come in and teach for a day.  Heck, I'd even take an hour!  I think it's just a knee-jerk reaction for me to dread it because school never really tripped my trigger.  I only agreed to go to school at all because it was a chance to hang out with all my friends.  Well, that and my parents forced me to go.  Yeah, there was that part.....

So a friend comments about how stupid it is that we have to go to jail school to learn things that we already know how to do.  This friend went on to say what a waste of tax dollars it was.  And that stung a little bit.  But I'm not blaming this friend at all.  I'm blaming myself because apparently my status was negative.  That isn't what I was really intending.  When I had posted the status, we were on a break from a speaker that I had never heard before and he wasn't really making much of an impact on me.  I knew we had close to an hour left with him and from what I had heard in the first hour, I didn't think I would make it through the second hour without drawing at least one hangman in the margin of my notebook.

Well, truth be told I had spoken too soon.  The second hour was much more informative and I actually enjoyed the speaker and the topic.  I guess I need to keep my fingers to myself until I know how the whole session is going to go.  So there's that.

Something else I'd like to share with you from my recent jail school.....

We all know there are good cops and there are bad cops and I seem to spend a lot of time defending a lot of them when I don't have to.  99.9% of them I don't even know and never will know.  I know a lot of cops but it's a very minute (my-noot?) number in comparison to the number of them I find myself defending.  But on the other hand, I hear a lot of people bad-mouth 99.9% of cops for personal reasons.  It's no surprise that about half of the people I call friends, don't like cops; and some of them go to extremes to point out anything they can to "prove" how cops are bad.  But if their homes get broken into, it's not the local crack head they want to come protect them now is it?

Anyway, I am getting off topic and I could go on that topic all day long.  Just know that if you are one of my cop bashing friends, I won't stop loving you.  But I probably won't go out of my way to spend a lot of time with you either.  I have cop blood in me, what can I say?  No apologies coming out of my mouth.

Back to what I was going to talk about.....

We saw a lot of video presentations about good cops, bad cops, about mistakes that cops make, and about mistakes that the public sometimes make.  Cops are human and they make mistakes.  Sometimes their mistakes are stupid and sometimes their mistakes are even innocent.  They're just like the rest of us!!!  Go figure!  Under no circumstances will any person ever make me believe that there are more bad cops than good cops.

We saw videos where cop cars ran into other cars; into poles; into people.  And the videos made some of us gasp.  Some people even cried.  I thought one gal was going to get sick.  As a dispatcher, I think this is good for us to see.  Not that we could ever fully prepare ourselves for anything emotional but we can kinda see WHY we need to be strong on the radio; why we need to be confident in our abilities; why we need to take a step back sometimes and just breathe.  

When you go to your work, do you have to even consider that one of your co-workers could die doing their job?  And if so, do you think about how you WOULD react compared to how you SHOULD react?  I do it every day.  Seriously.  Every day I get a lump in my throat thinking that my guys are out there "serving and protecting" a lot of people that wouldn't give two shits if they lived or died.  I want my guys going home after their shifts.  Every day and every night.  I want them going home to their wife and kids.

One of our speakers asked us to close our eyes and "just listen" as "Amazing Grace" was belted out on a trumpet.  He kept saying things like "Have you ever been to a cops funeral?" and then "Was the American flag draped over the casket?" and then, "Was there a long procession of law enforcement vehicles?"

What the hell man, I can't stop thinking about my dad's funeral now, thanks.  No, he didn't die in the line of fire.  He wasn't even a cop when he died.  But he loved that life and he was very, very good at it and his funeral was a mighty big one.  There were a lot of Sheriff's, Deputies, Policemen, Troopers, you name it...  And I don't remember much of it.  That's what I was told.  That law enforcement came from all over.  I have shut out most of dad's funeral from my mind.  I have to or I will again never get over it.

So after only a few seconds, my eyes were open.  I still listened but I couldn't close my eyes.  I couldn't have those images flashing around in my head all day.  And if anybody else in that room has been through that, I'm sure they felt the same way.  Amazing Grace makes me cry anyway, just like the National Anthem does.  So I have to make my mind go crazy with other things, just to get through it.  I don't like people to see me cry.  Plain and simple.

So about jail school.  We have to have so many hours every year to keep current on jail policies as well as any new training that we may need in our jobs.  Crime changes all the time and so do the procedures on how we handle the crimes.  We aren't going to school to learn things we already know.  Who does that?  Why is it acceptable for hair dressers and CPA's to have annual continuing education but not the civil servants?  Come on people, think!

The highlight of my week was when the little gal at Pizza Ranch asked one of my co-workers if he wanted the "Senior Discount or just the adult price?"  Thank God the Sheriff was there to hold me up, otherwise I would have been on the floor laughing.  Literally.  Oh the fun we have when we are let loose outside of town!!!

Thanks for reading...for what it's worth.  I just felt like "getting it out there."  Until next time.....my wish for you is that your basements are dry and your potty's are not overflowing with rain water.  Ick!  -_-

#supportmira <3 <3 <3

No comments:

Post a Comment