Kerrie On

So..........because of the nature of this one, I am going to make it quick and painless.  I hope.....

By now, we have all heard about the death of Omaha Police Officer Kerrie Orozco.  If you haven't heard about her, you must be living in a cave or under a rock.  Before the story broke about Officer Orozco, I had never ever heard her name.  I did not know anything about her.  Not one thing.  But her death has shaken me to my core.  I find myself thinking about it dozens of times a day.

She was hours away from going on maternity leave.  She was hours away from starting a new journey with baby Olivia.  She was hours away from starting a new path in life that she had waited a long time for.  Mere hours!!  And that poor, sweet little baby girl will never have the chance to know her momma.  She will only know pictures and stories.  Sure, she knew her voice for a little bit but she will never truly get to hear it for herself ever again.  

Some bastard took that all away.  Some guy that had a history of making poor, poor choices, took that away from her.  If this isn't a tale of "unfair," I don't know what is!  And I am angry.  I am a lot angrier than I ever thought I would be.  I cry for this woman that I don't know.  I cry for this baby that I will probably never meet in my lifetime.  And I'm not the only one.  I am watching this whole Midwest mourn the life of a police officer that most didn't even know. Hell, I'm watching a nation mourn the life of a police officer that most of them didn't even know.  

I will tell you this; I am glad that this man...this monster...that did this, is dead. I've never been the type of person to say anything like that.  I've never had it in my heart to tell the world that it doesn't bother me that this person died. But... I'm glad that the coward that wasn't big enough to "man-up" for his own damn choices, can't take another breath.  I do not care that he was someone's child or someone's father; and that may seem harsh but I really don't care about that either!  He was an adult and he made some pretty stupid mistakes along the way.  And I don't fault him for that.  Hell, we all make mistakes!!  What I fault him for is for taking another human being's life.  Just because he can.  Just to prove what a big man he is, I guess.  

Well sir, how big do you feel right now?  How much of a "big man" are you walking around the hallways of hell?  How does the heat feel?  And don't get up. Those questions are rhetorical and I don't really care about your answer.  Again, if you think I'm harsh and a bad person for stating how I feel about this matter, you can click that x up in the right corner and feel free to not come back.  

I do not take joy in anyone else's pain.  Not at all.  And I don't feel joy in the fact that this monster died.  But I am glad.  I'm not sad at all and I'm not wasting any breath by saying that he could have been "fixed," or "saved."  No. He had his chances.  Good riddance.

I hate this man because he took the life of a police officer.  Someone out there doing what they do best, with every good intention in the world.  It just so happens that her best intentions weren't good enough.  Her best got her the worst.  Her best got her shot.  Her best changed the lives of everyone around her.  Her best has shaken this great nation.  But not in vain.  No way.  

The death of this fantastic cop has strengthened a bond between the brothers and sisters in blue.  Kerrie Orozco's death is going to change a lot I have a feeling.  It is going to change how we all work together.  It is going to change how we all think.  It is going to change how we all react.  At least that's what I think, see, and feel.

We have all been on the side where we lose someone we love but how many of us have lost someone that we work with and think the world of?  Luckily, I am not in that club and to be quite honest, would rather just stay out of that one.  

I have said this before and it's 100% true, as a dispatcher, I get the honor and the privilege to work with the best of the best.  I have made some lifetime friendships and wouldn't trade them for the world.  In the same breath, I would be super-human if I said I was compatible with every cop I met.  Oh dear no. But let me make this clear right here and now; if something happened to ANY of my guys, I would have a hard time ever looking at another dispatch console ever again.  

I'm not saying I couldn't do it, but it would be hard.  And then there are the ones that I will compare to Kerrie... they are the ones that you have such a bond with, and if that fateful day ever happened, there would be no turning back.  I would need you to stick that fork in me because I would be done.  You will find me over in the corner, crumbled into a billion tiny pieces of nothingness.  Please just sweep me up, put me in an envelope and mail me to the end of the universe because I will be no good to anyone.

I can not make myself understand how Kerrie's co-workers feel.  I can not wrap my head around those that loved working with her (and there were many), never hearing her voice on the radio again.  I think I would long to hear it so much I would make myself crazy by replaying anything and everything on the recorders that I could find.  Even if it was something as simple as "ten-four." 

Her people will never hear her joke around again.  They will never share a meal with her again.  They will never get to hear her stories about how maternity leave was everything it was supposed to be.  They will never hear her grumbles about paperwork...because we all grumble about paperwork.  It's all done.  It's all over.  

And then there's the community itself.  Could she have given any more to her community than she already had?  She was involved in EVERYTHING.  She was beautiful.  She was busy.  She was caring.  She was giving.  She was so much more than a role model.  She was amazing.  

I didn't even know this woman.  But I know she was amazing.
Baby Olivia will never remember this woman.  But she will always know that she made a mark on this world.  As awesome as that is, it makes my stomach churn.  And then it makes me angry again.

Until next time...thanks for reading.  And remember... #supportblue
It's those people that have your backs when you need it the most.