What happens in Vegas, didn't stay in Vegas

Well, we did it. We took a girls trip to Vegas and we came back unscathed.  Here is our pre-flight pic at Olive Garden.  We tried to get our server to go with us...and he thought about it....but thought he better keep his job. His loss.  

So we get to the airport with a crazy driver named Zach who I am sure was trying to kill us.  There wasn't a corner he couldn't (or wouldn't) turn on 2 wheels.  Poor me, I was sliding all over the place.  No butt to keep me on my seat! 

So we get all checked in and settled in the loading area.  We had quite a bit of time to spare so we spent it Facebooking, talking, walking around and people watching.  Well, as time as approaching to load, a gal sat down next to Justi.  I didn't think too much of it.  She was face timing with someone as was multiple others in the place.  The next thing I know, Justi is laughing. One of those "I don't want anyone to hear me laugh" kinda laughs.  I look over to her (I'm beside her) and that just makes her laugh even more.  Trying not to raise suspicion, I mouth the words "What?" and she tries to tell me..... "Loo...(laughter) look at...(laughter)."  I can't figure out what she is talking about.  She is trying to avert her eyes to this gals legs without her knowing and I'm still not getting it.  She finally says "toenails" between gasps for air. 

People, this next picture doesn't even BEGIN to show the nastiness that we saw!  I mean, it took some real creativity to even get a picture since there was someone between us and I didn't want her to see what I was doing!  Poor Justi has tears streaming down her face and I am about to throw up.  Acrylic nails on her toes....which is something I have NEVER heard of and if that wasn't weird enough, this gal has let them grow out so far it looks like she has a literal glue factory between the nail and the cuticle!!  I mean we could have parked a Prius between the two!!!  I don't know what it was but it reminded me of rubber cement.  YUCK!!!  I don't know how she will ever get that scraped off.  I hope she got it taken care of. 

There you go.  You're welcome.  But like I said, this picture does it NO JUSTICE for how literally gross and disgusting it was!  Moving on..........

Let me tell you something. I never thought, in my entire life, that I would get my sister Kathy on an airplane. She's terrified of bridges, let alone go up in the air!!  We purchased these tickets six months ago so she was kinda locked in. For six months she gave herself anxiety about the whole thing. Luckily, she and I got to sit next to each other and mother-and-daughter team sat in front of us so we all got to chat and take turns peeling Kathy's fingers from Justi's seat at every movement on the part of the airplane! How dare that thing move!!! She did great, folks. She was scared, I won't say she wasn't; but she got through it with grace and I couldn't be more proud of her. On the way out, we had to go up through some weather and get on top of it so there was a little turbulence. I looked over at her one time and she was staring a hole right into the back of Justi's seat; white-knuckled hands about to pull the magazine holder right off that thing. I asked “Are you okay?” She didn't answer me at first and I thought maybe she had just suffered the worst right there without anyone knowing but she finally said “yeah,” so then I could start breathing again. I love to fly so it's hard for me to understand the fear but then again, she doesn't get my whole clown thing either so there ya go.

She doesn't even look scared there, does she???  I think this was taken in the air but I could be wrong.

Two hours and 40 minutes later, WE HAVE ARRIVED!!!  Look out Vegas!!  We have plans to tear this town up like you will never believe! 

I will tell you right here and now, in front of God and everyone, that we are a wild group and you really need to watch it when you go places with us. Especially Vegas. With the exception of the first night, we were in our hotel rooms by probably 10-10:30. I'm talking PM. Yeah, we are THAT crazy!!! The only reason we got in late the first night is because we arrived in Vegas in the late evening and our gracious host shuttled us around to see some sights. 

Heck, one night I thought I would live life on the edge and stay up until 1:30 am!!!! Of course, they all had crashed out around midnight so I cleaned our hotel room so the maid would know EXACTLY what we needed. It didn't do any good though. We still had to track her down the next day for extra towels, toilet paper and Kleenex!!   

Enough about the maid!!!  Let's roll back a little bit and talk about our wonderful host/tour guide/all around wonderful guy!  If you've ever been to Vegas, you might know him.  Heck, if you've ever been to Branson, you might know him.  Let's get real here folks, if you've ever been to Fontanelle, Iowa, you might know him!  Sadly, I never got the chance to meet him when he was visiting Fontanelle so it was quite a shock to me when we were heading down the escalator to the baggage claim and I see him sitting there just smiling at us because the only two on this trip that know him, didn't even see him.  Then there's me...who has only seen his pic on Facebook a few times but have heard about him at least a hundred times, and I spot him right away.  "THERE HE IS!!!"  Justi's head swings right to the baggage claim because she thinks I mean our bag because she was almost convinced ours was either still at Omaha or had gone on to Cincinnati.  Not sure why the thought of our bag entered her mind.  

Oh wait, yes I remember!  She saw them take a bag from our airplane back to the airport.  It didn't matter that it was a red suitcase and ours was green.  She was convinced!!!  Anyway.....the one and only Jeffrey Micheals, sitting there waiting for little ole US!!  It was so nice to meet him after all these years.  I hope next time we get to watch him perform! This guy is seriously one of the nicest men you could ever meet in your life.  I'm not exaggerating one bit! 

Justi and her two BFF's.  She has more but we were the only ones willing to go 

out in public with her!  HA!

I got to see (from a distance) the Trump Hotel & Casino.  I hope to stay there someday!  

Now, let's talk about the Hard Rock Casino and Hotel!  It was nice.  We all enjoyed our stay there, even if ya'll did snore!  Haha yeah they all snored.  Not me though.  One night they made me sleep on the floor.  It was crazy.  If you have been to the HRH, none of the pics will entertain you but if you haven't been there, it's pretty awesome.  Lots of little restaurants in there and things to do.  

This was the door handles to their event center.  Pretty cool, huh?! And all the hotel room doors had different pictures and sayings on them.  The Elvis one is the coolest one!  

We didn't have a balcony, so to speak, from our room.  We had double doors that opened up to the city and in the morning, the view of the mountains were spectacular!  There were five bars going across the front of the doors so we couldn't walk out if we wanted.  Now...we could have climbed and jumped if we wanted to but nobody wanted to.  I was able to lean forward enough to get a shot of the big guitar at the front of the hotel because ya know, getting a picture from the actual front of the building would have been WAY TOO EASY!!!  

There were a couple of restaurants inside the building that I would have like to tried but we either didn't have the time, the energy, or the money!  Man this place is expensive!  Make sure you save about 6 paychecks for spending money on the strip and for those sly thieves called your hotel!  A bottle of water is $5 at Dunkin Donuts inside our hotel.  Next trip, I am going to drive out and go to Fremont St and get 3 cases of water!  Everything is cheap there, including the entertainment; but we will get to that soon enough! 

There was the FU Asian Kitchen and the Pink Taco and we didn't get to them, sadly.  They had a shirt in PT restaurant that I wanted to get but they didn't have the right size.  The front said "If you don't eat the Pink Taco" and then on the back it said "Your best friend will!"  I about died laughing. 

So, on our first full day in Las Vegas, we did what we thought was a really, really great idea.  We walked almost the whole strip.  We took a shuttle to the Forever 21 Fashion Show and then hoofed it right over to the strip.  Don't get me wrong, it was fun and it was amazing but what it wasn't was easy on the feet.  Holy Moley!!  I wanted to go to the Excalibur to get a shirt for my husband and little did I know that it was CLEAR DOWN THERE!!!  The restaurant I was looking for was "Dick's Last Resort."  I knew I would find something for the husband there because I was told that they were really vulgar and rude in this place.  Like "Hey what happened to your face?  Did you get hit by a dick..." vulgar.  I just wanted a chance to talk back.  

When we finally got there...and I mean finally because I"m pretty sure my friends weren't my friends at this point.  Walking all that way for some dick.  What was I thinking??  We arrived at this restaurant inside the casino and this guy (worker) was chasing this small child across the room, screaming at him to "Get the hell back over there or I"m going to kick your ass.  Sit down and stay there!"  I looked around for a chair because I thought I was in trouble too.  Scared the begeezus out of me.  All these kids...and there were just as many kids as adults in the place...everyone was just laughing their fool heads off.  I can not imagine why any person would take a child to a place like this but if you have, please don't tell me.  It will ruin my image of you forever.  That place was made for me, not for a child.  I don't need to tell you that we did not eat there.  I ate at Panda Express and fought that son-of-a-buck the rest of the night.  He put up a good fight but I won.  I'm never going back there again.  I don't care what town it's in.

Anyway, there are some really cool and exciting things to see on the strip and I can't tell you what they all are because aint nobody got time for that.  If you haven't been, just go.  I'll go with ya.  Here are just a few examples of the neat stuff you see.  More pics will be posted on my Facebook soon but samples are given here first.

I can't believe I didn't go in here. Just to say I did!!!  Dumb, dumb, dumb!

 I tried to get a video of this because it was hilarious.  He would come out and talk about his restaurant and then he would walk off screen.  Then he would come back and say "Can someone get me out of this box?"  Too funny!

Treasure Island is a cool place to see also!  Arrgh matey!

So, the first full day we spent walking up and down the strip.  So thankful that Jeffrey came and joined us on the last part and showed up a shortcut back to our hotel.  Even though it didn't feel very short, I'm sure it was a lot shorter than we would have made it on our own!  We got to a bus stop at one point and we could see our hotel, so we took a break at the bus stop and I decided we could just make it the rest of the way on foot.  What a stupid, stupid thing to say!  Damn tourists anyway!!!  This isn't Iowa.  Just because you can see it, doesn't mean you can touch it.  Justi and I earned those blsters on our feet!!!  Maybe now you see why we were tuckered out so early in the evening!!!

For a couple of bucks we could have grabbed a bus but instead I gave my money to a homeless dude and his dog.  I can't not give to the dog dangit!

I got to hear the song of my people so many times while out there.  You know the ones.....sirens.  They got my attention every time.  We even saw a guy get arrested on his bicycle.  It was cool.  He must have been peddling ass.

When you're in a place like Las Vegas, it's easy to lose track of time.  Obviously they don't have clocks out there so you don't know how long you do anything and they sure aren't going to tell you!  I remember as we were going up an escalator to a cross bridge and Jenna says "We haven't even been here 24 hours yet."  I literally could not wrap my mind around that.  I couldn't believe it but it was true.  We had already done and seen so much but because we arrived in LV in the evening..... crazy!

I realize Jenna is a grown ass adult and lives on her own and has her own business and all that but taking her to the strip was quite scary for me.  I kept telling her "Don't get ahead of us!  Someone will steal you!"  She was either sick of hearing that or out of her mind high from all the pot that was in the air that she started saying it back to me!  Seriously, they can't pick me up and carry me off like they can her!  There was a little scare and I ran up and made eye contact with the filthy creep I thought was headed her way.  I was ready to tangle.  

And yeah.....the pot smoking is so out of control in that place.  It makes me sick to smell it.  I know a lot of you out there feel differently about it but my mind will never change on the subject.  I hate it.

Moving on.....

Saturday night we were all sore from walking and so there we were, laying on our beds in the hotel room just talking.  It's not like we get to do that at home!!!  Like I said, we earned our blisters!!! I got to reading those auto-correct fails to the girls and Kathy, Jenna and I got to laughing.  Can not believe Justi slept through that commotion!  Jenna was sure we had inhaled too much "mota."  Those auto-correct fails get me every time.  I don't care who you are.  If those don't make you laugh, you need to pull the stick out of your ass.  

On Sunday, one of my most favorite people in the world, who also just happens to be my cousin Brian, came and took us to the Hoover Dam.  He showed up with his granddaughter Kiki and that made my day!  Brian drove us to the Dam and Kiki entertained us with Ghost and Ghoul riddles.  We didn't know any of the answers unfortunately.  I blame it on jet lag!  I had been to the Hoover Dam once before but it is nothing like it used to be.  Wow was it something to see!  Even if you don't want to go to Las Vegas, go to the Dam.  You won't be disappointed!!  

Here's a pic of the beautiful water as we were approaching the parking area to the Dam.  SO BLUE!!!

I went clear into Arizona to get a picture of this sign!  We were just beginning our trek on the Pat Tillman Bridge!  Scary and exciting all at the same time!!!

AND THEN WE WENT DOWN THERE!!!  DOWN TO THE ONLY PLACE I KNEW HOOVER DAM EXISTED!!!  SO EXCITING!!!

See that bridge behind us???  Yeah we were just on that thing!!!  Trust me, when a semi crossed over, you felt it!!! 

I'm so happy I had such a great group of gals to help me celebrate my upcoming 5-0!!!  Only a month and three quarters to go so keep celebrating!!

After we had seen the Dam, we trekked it back through Boulder, which none of us had ever been to.  Jenna and I are suckers for souvenir shops so that town could have been bad for us.  Oh boy if we would have had a car, we would have filled it there and sent for another car to come get us!  We get back into Vegas and eat lunch at the In and Out Burger.  This is the restaurant that I want around here.  Only a few things on the menu so they can get people "in and out" quickly.  The burger was amazing.  The fries were amazing.  The shake was amazing.  But the most amazing thing I saw there...and I may have said the words "I want to quit my job and be a french fry girl," was when they put the potato in the holder, pulled the switch down and voila!  FRENCH FRIES!  They filled up a sink of them, let them soak, then drain and in the fryer they go.  I was so intent on watching it, I about didn't hear my number.  I mean I was stopping all the girls and making them watch the french fry guy.  BEST MEAL EVER!!!  I can't even tell you what that guy looked like!!!  If we ever get one of these restaurants around here, you know where to find me!

 

Oh!  Look who showed up to see us!!!  

Mani and Wendy Sue!!!  So happy to see them!  I have to grab quick ones of Wendy because she always says "I don't look good."  She always looks good. 

When we got back to our hotel from the Dam trip, Justi and Jenna proceeded to head to the pool and Kathy and I hit the casino for about 15 minutes.  I lost $8 and she lost $15.  We are a couple of wild and crazy big spenders!!!  Back to the room we went where I proceeded to take a nap.  Yes, I took a nap in Vegas.  I'm not sure what Kathy did because I was so busy checking for light leaks.

Sunday night and it's time for Fremont Street.  This is probably the majority of the reason I like Vegas.  Canopy light show, freaks, good eats, zip line.  You name it, if it's weird it was there.  They named this first one just for us gals, I'm sure!

So before I wind this up... let's talk about a couple of things.  These girls stand almost naked in the street and dance.  They want people to come dance with them so they can hang all over someone and get money from them.  Looking at these girls, I just don't get it.  I just don't.  I never will.  The only thing I can come up with is that their self-esteem has to be under the sewer system.  Just no.  If they see you take a picture of them, they will point you out, in front of God and everyone's dog, to come dance with them. Trust me.  Heard it from a friend who...heard it from a friend..... 

Now, this story will end our Sunday night and our Fremont Street experience.  Let me set the scene.  Jenna and I had rode the zip line earlier in the evening and Justi held onto Jenna's wallet for her.  Well, she forgot to give it back and Jenna was still in a souvenir shop and Jeffrey had waited with her while Kathy, Justi and I headed up the street.  We just wanted to pee and leave.  Our blisters were telling us they had had enough!  We were about 2 blocks away and Justi and I were just going into the bathroom when she gets a text message to bring the wallet back.  So we use the restroom and then leave the casino through another door.  Of course, we had left Kathy at another entrance.  I told Justi to go on and I would wait there and have Kathy come down to where I was at.  So Justi takes off and I text Kathy to "come down the street."  While I am waiting, I look straight across the street to see Chucky and his Bride.  Now this movie never bothered me.  It wasn't one of my favorites but it didn't bother me.  Of course, me being me, I whip out my phone and zoom in to take a shot.  Got it!

Now...seeing life sized Chucky was weird enough but when his Bride made eye contact after I took that picture, I about shit my pants.  She pointed, smiled, and tried to lure me over there.  My eyes had to have been the size of silver dollars and my index finger went up as I mouth the word  "NO."  She kept motioning me to come over and smiling that creepy smile of hers.  I waved my index finger at her and said out loud "NAAAA!" I wasn't giving two shits as to who was listening.  I just took off up the street.  Finally find Kathy and knew I was safe.  We ventured back down and met up with the others and I was telling them about the creepy Bride and as we started back up the street, I look over and she's freaking waving at me!!!!  I just got the hell out of there.  I didn't care how my blisters felt at the time.  WE OUT!

I forgot the part abut zip lining.  It was amazing.  Everyone should try it.  They have one where you can zip line 3,200 ft over the rim of the Grand Canyon.  That would be amazing!!!!  Anyway, I don't have a video at this time.  Maybe someone will share one with me one of these days.

Monday, on the plane ride back to Omaha.........................  I'm not going to mention any names because I don't want anyone judging my people but............................... this conversation may have happened.............

"Shellie is there a speed limit in the air?"  to which I replied "Yes, they have air cops that hook onto the side of the airplane and the cop comes inside the cockpit and writes them a speeding ticket.  Keep watching!"  You can't make this shit up!

There was SO MUCH MORE to our story but I just don't have the time or strength to get into it tonight.  This will have to do until more details come out.  Thanks for reading!  See you next time!

Everydays

There is a day that sits in my mind and stews.  A day I should have told my mom about many, many years ago and didn't.  While I'm sure I was just being a teenager and wasn't really into all that mushy stuff and sure didn't want my siblings or friends to find out, I don't know why I never told her this as I grew up.  Didn't think about it maybe?  Didn't know what she would think?  For whatever reason, this day has been in my head for YEARS.  

I don't know the exact circumstances but I remember leaving the Sheriff's Office (where our home used to be before life got complicated).  I was walking to school.  Acid washed blue jeans and a white sweater with white tennis shoes.  How funny that I remember that little tidbit, huh???  I had walked through the courtyard and was walking past the east door of the courthouse when I heard a noise.  It was an all too familiar noise.  One I had heard hundreds of times and would hear it hundreds more over the course of the next several years.  It was the bell that hung on the front door to the Sheriff's Office.  

I turned to see if I could see someone coming or going and I did.  I saw a woman leaving the office.  I could only see the back of her and she looked just like my mom.  I called out to her "MOM!"  I didn't know how I didn't see her at the office before I left and I also didn't know why she wouldn't tell me she would be there.   What I did know though, and I can still feel the very feeling in my heart, was how much I needed her at that moment. I remember it being a heart-squeezing, soul-pulling yearn for my mom.  

To this day, I can feel that memory, if that makes any sense.  Just like that day, today it makes me tear up and I feel a dark, heavy feeling deep inside. The only way I can even come close to describing it is how Harry Potter feels when the death eaters come for his soul.  If you haven't read/seen the Harry Potter books/movies, you won't know what I'm talking about.  But for those of you smart friends out there that have.......you get it.

I don't know why I needed her at that moment but I did.  I could have been having teenage drama; maybe I was mad at one of my siblings; maybe I just didn't want to go to school that day.  I don't know but I know that I will never forgot how I felt inside that morning.  Isn't that funny how we can remember a feeling yet the purpose doesn't stay with us?  

I didn't live with mom and dad at this point so it had to have been my junior or senior year.  I lived here and there between my brothers and sisters; showing them what it was like to have a jerk live with them; someone who was miserable inside and shared it with everyone else.  Mom and dad had moved an hour away to take care of my grandparents so I didn't see them very much.  

Turns out it wasn't even my mom.  It was a lady I had known for years.  I remember thinking to myself "Oh man that's not mom.  I hope she didn't hear me."  She didn't.  Not sure how I would have handled that one.  Possibly just turned and kept walking like it didn't happen.  Give me a break, I was a teenager!

I don't know why I finally chose to share this short story with you but there it is.  In all it's tiny little glory.  I wish I had told mom about that day.  I wish now, that way back then, I had told her how much she was needed and would always be needed; how much she was loved and would always be loved greatly; how much she truly meant to me and will always mean to me; long after she left this world.  

Well mom, if you're up there looking for some light reading while you rock in your rocking chair, here you go.  My heart is squeezing and my soul is pulling.  And I will never forget the day that I thought I needed you the most.  Turns out those days are called everyday's.  <3   

Too much tv, not enough work.

Forgive me.
Im typing on my phone.
Just taking some notes.

My husband fell asleep on the chair at 9pm.
I said "Why dont you just go to bed?"
Twice. I said it twice.
"Oh, its way too early! I would wake up too early for work."
Literally 6 seconds later, he is snoring.
And there I sat, wondering just where I could buy a bottle of FUKITOL so I can shut my mind off and not give a crap for a change.
I have been off work too long.
Sleep patterns are messed up even more than normal thanks to that rock and this stent.
For two more hours I wondered how he does that.
I think our furbaby Eva even wondered about it herself.
Finally about 1115 I shut the tv and light off. He wakes up and says "Are we going to bed now?"
"I sure hope you dont wake up too early in the morning." Sour dripping from my tongue.
"No, I should be fine."
**You're kidding me, right?**
I put food away.
I washed a couple of dishes.
I took dirty laundry upstairs and started a load.
Husband already off in dream land.
I assume this part is more normal than I wish? Anyone?
Anyone?
Bueller?
After a good solid hour of trying to go to sleep, this is what happened:
Im out in a country junk yard.
A guy starts breaking glass.
He is literally taking huge tubes of glass and launching them across the junk yard. Shattering into millions of pieces.
I dont want any part of it and start walking to town.
I am angry with that guy so I am walking unusually fast to keep away from him.
There's another girl with us.
She is also walking to town but way back behind me.
Its extremely dark.
And windy.
Car comes by and doesnt stop for either of us. Then the car slams on the brakes and turns around cuz theres a car in ditch on opposite side of road.
I run to the car in ditch.
Small, light blue, like an electric car.
Looks like its gonna roll over any minute.
3 people inside.
2 male in front 1female in back.
All screaming for help.
Then they start laughing and say its a joke. They are still stuck on this embankment so that wasnt a joke.
I recognize the driver and look back, hoping the other girl isnt still following cuz it is her ex and somehow I knew that would be a really bad scene.
I walk away and say Im calling the cops (so I had a phone and didnt call for a ride to begin with??).
My phone then rings and it comes up "OLIVE" like a scary movie trailer, as Mike the Cop is running after me saying "No they are looking for us!" and the guy on the phone says "Hi. Do you know who this is?"
Sounds suspiciously a lot like Officer Daniels. Hang up.
I dialed a number and got an Adams County cop.
Said "Send Adair County out south of town..." Mike TC reaches for my phone and I try to break free, continuing on saying "Mike TC and Miller are in the ditch."
For the record, I dont even know who Miller is.
I woke up.
It was dark - go figure. It was 145am.
It was windy - I have a fan going right beside me.
I was reaching for my phone thinking if he got it he was getting charged for destruction of private property, interference for trying to stop me from making a call for help, probably some OWI charges for ole AJ.
I now realize where Im at.
And Eva is looking at me like I have interrupted her night - alot of disgust and attitude in her stare.
What about my night?
Im never going back to sleep.
At least Im in my bed, with no whack jobs chasing me down.
I can do this all night.
Listening to the sounds of snoring...
I wonder what happened to all those other people???

My Inner Struggles

For all that is rough and rocky, here I am. Can't get to sleep tonight and on those nights when I can get to sleep at a decent time, I can't stay asleep. This is actually the second time I have started a blog tonight. The first attempt let me get several paragraphs into it before it shut me out and didn't save anything I had typed. That's what I get for trying to blog on my phone I guess. Back to the living room.

For many months I have had so many health issues that I'm just tired of them now. I have done my best not to harp on them because what good does that do me? None. Just deal with it and move on. Since Thanksgiving, I have had the weirdest stuff go on. I'm not going to go into detail on most of those things but 2 rounds of hives that made me want to tear my skin off, a bladder infection that made me fear my whole inside was about to explode and slide right out of my body, body aches in places that shouldn't be achy, and it has all led up to those lousy kidney stones! And the stomach aches! Ugh, let's talk about those stupid things. Is that normal to have with kidney stones??? The sudden urge to regurgitate all you've eaten the past 24 hours? I have yet to actually vomit but it's been close.

No need to announce it I guess but these little stones are painful. And I consider this one very little. 1.75 cm. I have had stones in the past but they have always been so small that I would never know when they pass but this one they said wasn't coming out without some assistance. My sister had one a year or two ago and it was 10 cm. So she is probably going to tell me to shut up a lot when we go to the city for my procedure. Hahaha yeah, she's going to say that! I also expect to hear “Glad it's you,” because she has already told me this at least twice. Thanks for the support sister! I will suffer in silence as much as possible just for her sake. When she went in for her procedure, she asked if she could have the rocks when they were done so she could re-gravel her driveway. Funny but terrifying all the same.

These past couple of months, I have tried to just drink, drink, drink but nothing helps. I have tried medicine after medicine with no relief whatsoever. I'm done paying for meds that don't do anything to help me. Soon this little issue will be taken care of and it will be on to the next thing. Bring. It. On.

I am a side sleeper and I sleep on my right side which is funny to me, since I'm left handed. Maybe I do that so my dominant hand is ready to reach out and slap someone. I don't know. For a little bit each night that I am lucky enough to sleep in my bed, I fear my husband may just get it for doing nothing at all. It could happen. You never know. Anyway, this damned kidney stone is on my right side so sleeping on the right has been pure evil. The flank pain is on my left side though which again, makes no sense to me but whatever. It makes it almost impossible to sleep on that side too. It is just recently that I can't lay on my right side for very long without waking up in pain so life is a little challenging these days. And if that isn't bad enough, needing to pee multiple times a night and not being very successful in that, doesn't help. So, I feel like I'm always tired.

Apparently not tired enough to go to sleep, stay asleep, or even sleep through the pain. I can't wait for this crap to be over and done with.

So for hours and hours a day, I get to think about things. Things that make me sad; things that made me mad; things that I need to get done; things that we have already gotten done/ trying to find solutions to my current problems. And just like that, pain creeps forth and almost doubles me over. Seriously, no rhyme or reason to this! I keep trying to find a position or a way to help get some relief but nothing works.

My favorite part of this is when I go out in public and it hits me. The other day, while shopping with my sister, right smack in the middle of Gordman's I just stopped and doubled over. It doesn't relieve my pain to double over but when your body says you are going to bend at a ninety degree angle, you do it! My sister...she's so funny. She just kept walking, thinking I was right behind her, just chatting away; and she finally realizes I'm not there and turns around and says “Oh, what you doing?” Don't mind me sis, I'm just trying to pass a kidney stone in one of these purses hanging here.

The other day, in the restroom at Menards, me thinking I was the only one in there, I let out a loud gasp and followed up with a terrible moan. (It hurts, okay??) And if that's not bad enough, I have picked up this weird breathing pattern when I go potty. It has to sound something like a woman going through contractions! “she she phew...she she phew.” That's what it sounds like. Anyway, that's when I found out this particular day that I wasn't alone. Who says you can't make yourself blush??? I can only imagine what that poor woman thought was going on in the stall 2 doors down from her. I didn't stick around to find out either. I got the hell out of there. Seriously dumb! I check all stalls now when I'm in a public restroom just to save myself the embarrassment.

I keep telling myself that almost everyone goes through this at some point. Just deal with it and move on. You aren't going to die, Shellie. STOP BEING A BABY! I tell myself that there are so many other things that could be going on; worse things, so don't make a big deal out of this. And this little furbaby of ours, she wants to be with me all the time. Like now for instance. She could be upstairs in bed, taking over my little area she allows me to sleep on but no, she is asleep right beside me in the chair, dreaming away. She's funny. Her ears are going crazy and she must be running in her sleep because her little paws are tapping away at my leg. Probably chasing a squirrel again. She does help keep me calm though because when she's on my lap, I am extra careful not to disturb her even if that means I have to ignore myself as long as I possibly can. I mean, it isn't 100% effective with pain control but it helps. So I guess she is my medicine! Cute little turd anyway.

We are getting ready to start moving some big stuff to the country house. It won't be long and we will be living there full-time. I'm ready. I just wonder how long it is going to take me to get more of this stuff packed up and moved before the actual moving day! Yes, I'm one of those people. Move all the small stuff that I can live without now so it's out of the way for the big day. I'm ready to get that kitchen finished up and unpack everything that I can. I just need some warmer days, some less painful days, and patience. Anybody got any of those things laying around? Yeah, me neither!

So that's how things are going for me. Getting older is proving to be a lot of fun. November will be the big 50 for me. Most days I feel like I'm fresh out of high school still and then there are days like today where I feel like that big 5-0 hit long ago and knocked the life out of me and left me for dead.

This too shall pass. I'm just really anxious for it to pass. Quite literally.

The Will To Go On

So, the blog below (printed in red)  was originally written 11/9/2014 and now that I go back and read it, it makes me laugh.  It deserves an update so here goes (obviously in green, right?).

I have been planning this blog in my head for a couple of days now so I hope the transition from my head to my fingertips to this computer goes smoothly.  You never know!

In my most recent blog, I told you that we have been going through some changes at work and that our Sheriff stepped down and one of the Deputies is now the Sheriff.  So.....in all that mess, we had to replace one.  So the hiring process began and that made a lot of us nervous.  Who knew what asshole we could possibly get stuck with!!  As a dispatcher, it makes a world of difference because these are the people you are going to spend a lot of time with.  *As with everything else great in life, I wish I could have some more time.

So they go and hire this guy from the police department in a neighboring town...partly still in our county...but works for another county.  I know...it's confusing.  And kinda dumb.  Whatever.  When I heard we had hired him, my heart literally sank.  We had just hired the biggest traffic Nazi in the whole western state of Iowa.  That was MY opinion, at least.  I couldn't believe it.  I just knew that once he was working nights: 

I would never be able to leave my work chair again.  *I left my chair.  Many times.

I would never again eat a hot meal at work. *Our night crew has shared so many foodie nights at work, it's not funny!  Whether it be for someone's birthday or just because we wanted to share a meal together.  Those are never going to be the same.

I would never get to see The Big Bang Theory all the way through while on duty. * Just ended up putting on DVR and now they are taking it off the air anyway! Boo!

I would forever and ever be in traffic hell! *With the latest in technology, I have not been in traffic hell.  Go figure!

I was going to hate this guy.  Oh hell, let's be honest, I already hated him!  I heard him on the radio all the time running this car and that car and asking for all kinds of information from passerby's on the interstate.  Ugh!  "That's it!  At least I am going to tell the Sheriff how I feel about this!"  

And I did.  I walked right up to him as he was doing paperwork and said "I cannot believe you hired "HIM."  Of all the people on this earth, you hired the biggest traffic Nazi out there!  Not to mention a 20-something "I know all, I am all" little puke! *For the record, he is and has never been one of those guys.  He is one of the most kind hearted men I will ever have the honor of knowing and working with.   I just want you to know that I am going to HATE working with him and when he sits on the interstate and runs traffic for a full 8 hours, I will be calling YOU when he goes home because I will want to inconvenience you like I will be inconvenienced."  *Nope, never had to do this.  Oh this makes me laugh!

Oh that Sheriff!  He laughed at me.  He told me to relax and breathe.  He said it will be alright and that he takes full responsibility for the actions of "HIM."  He assured me that once I got to know him, I would see how he really is.  Oh I know how he really is dude.  I listen to him on the radio almost every night now and fantasize about tying his tongue in a knot.  Let the stress begin!  *While I can't fully admit there haven't been times I still want to tie his tongue in a knot, I can honestly say that hiring this man...this was one of the best things our Sheriff has ever done.

I made it clear to every person I talked to that I did not like this guy and had no plans to ever like him or like working with him.  That was my story and I was sticking to it.  The first night that we worked together, he was riding with another Deputy and I couldn't find a sense of humor on this guy to save my life. *Which is hilarious to me now because he has the BEST sense of humor ever!   At this point, I figured my days here were numbered.  The thought of working with someone that I absolutely couldn't stand was more than I was willing to go through.....again.  *And now that he has moved on, I wonder how things will be without him.  Funny how that happens.  

If any of you remember, I had a rough start with the previous "FNG" and I didn't want a repeat of that.  Definitely not worth it.  

So the first night that this guy is on duty solo, guess what he does?  He stops my husband.  Oh yes, he did.  And I just knew it was going to go downhill from there.  If my co-workers thought I was a stubborn bitch now...well, they hadn't seen anything yet.  Needless to say it was a couple of days before he and I had any face-to-face contact.

Well now...for the sake of my fingertips and your sanity, I will fast forward a few months.  As of today, this guy has hurt my feelings and been a real dick cheese to me; but I have to say that he did not hurt my feelings intentionally and that whole dick cheese thing...well I was probably just as bad to him so I'll let it slide.  It does come with the job sometimes.  But I make sure he knows when he's being a dick cheese.  *While I don't remember what exactly this whole thing was about, I will say that we have had our moments.  I have pissed him off.  He has pissed me off.  But no matter what, we always talk it out.  Every time.  

I have sent this guy a Facebook friend request and within 24 hours, rescinded it.  Luckily he hadn't accepted at that point or it might have just turned ugly.  He actually sent me a request after that and I didn't accept it.  (I'll show him who's stubborn!)  We have "bonded" over coffee and think we finally have each other figured out.  He's a dick cheese and I'm the Queen.  Yep!  That's my story and I'm sticking to it! *He is not a dick cheese.  I repeat:  NOT A DICK CHEESE! Sometimes a dick, just not to me.  

We are now friends.  *We are more than that.  We are BFF's just like he said.  Damn him!  I mean who couldn't be friends with a guy that:

*is an animal lover *Meg, if you're reading this, the girls need a puppy!

*is a coffee drinker...and loves hazelnut creamer!  BONUS!

*is a Walking Dead fan *Even though neither of us have watched this past season at all.

*is left-handed (like me!)  *In our right minds!

*is quick witted and has a fantastic sense of humor (Yes it took a while but it came out)  

*is a quick thinker

*is ready to help when it is asked of him and ready to do his job to the best of his ability

*pretty health-conscious overall  *Pretty?  Psssssh, he is just a tad too health conscious for me!

*****holds his wife up on a pedestal and tells the world how hot she is and how in love he is with her.  (There is a reason this gets 5 stars you know!) I told him it is rare to hear men talk about their wives like that and it is very refreshing.  *I have met his wife...........she's just as amazing; a lovely gal that I am honored to be friends with.  And their kids......don't even get me started because I am just in love with those little turds!!!

This guy is adorable on so many levels and I absolutely look forward to working with him.  Even if he does make me do more work than the others!!!  We get along great and eventually I foresee a brother/sister kind of relationship. Ummm, that happened!  I already find myself asking him all kinds of advice about work.  He and his wife...whom I will probably never get to meet because he's a big chicken shit...*or not... are expecting their first baby in the near future.  I am SO freaking excited for them!!!  He is going to be such a wonderful daddy and it is fun to watch these tough guys turn soft when it comes to a little baby. *Two beautiful daughters later and yeah, he is a wonderful daddy.  Watching him go from tough guy to gentle lion has been amazing.  Those girls are lucky to have him.    

  

For the record, I have told every person in my office how I misjudged this man AND I have even told him.  More than once.  We honestly could not have asked for a better man to represent our county and keep our roads safe.  *And now he has moved on and as sad as it has been to get through this emotional roller coaster, I couldn't be prouder of the cop he has become.  He is truly one of the best and reminds me so much of my dad.  

I know it's rare to see but I was so completely wrong about this guy...even though he has made me doubt it once or twice.  Yep, I won't judge another until I know the full story and have lived the misery.  

Oh hell, who am I kidding??? We will have another new Deputy the first of the year and I'm sure my world will turn crazy again.  Oh well, at least I'll have my new friend to talk me off that ledge!!  -_-  *How lucky am I that the "new guy" back then has turned into just as good a friend as this one.  I truly couldn't be any luckier than I am in the co-worker friend department.  There are just some people...no matter where life takes you...you just can't ever give up.

Well there you have it.  I hope you enjoyed that little tidbit.  Now on to bigger and better things.  Who knows where the next blog is going to end up!  Until next time...thanks for reading!!!

I am hoping this emotional roller coaster is about to come to an end.  Sarcasm, sadness, bitterness, sadness, anger, sadness, contentedness.  But I know that sadness isn't done with me yet.  Many days and nights have been spent shedding tears and as much as I know my heart is sad, I also know my heart is full and proud.  Just wait until the next shift where I'm supposed to be scheduled with him.  It's not going to be easy and it's not going to be pretty.  Best of luck to you my dear friend, Will.  You will be hearing from me soon!  
"Always Stay Safe!"

Don't let life get in the way

It's a very cold, very windy day.  Just when I think I know which direction the wind is coming from, it feels as though it whips around from another direction.  The smartest thing anyone can do today...and tomorrow...is stay inside as much as possible.  It's going to get worse before it gets better.  

My heart matches the weather today though.  Cold and mean and mad at the world.  I am trying not to let life get in the way but sometimes it's just too much.  Sometimes we just have to feel cold and mean and mad in order to get through the day.  

I'm not sure where to go from here.  I'm not quite ready to spill my guts about anything in particular but I feel like I need to touch base with you from my heart about friendships.  I have blogged about friendships before.  Possibly boring you to tears.  The way I see it is just when you think all your ducks are in a row and life is shining brightly down and around you, that one stupid duck has to wreak havoc and the clouds settle in right over you and envelope you with darkness.  

I'm sure you've all heard the saying about how friends can go long times without ever seeing each other and then you can pick up right where you left off.  If you are one of those people, kudos to you.  I have a hard time believing this of real, true friends.  I feel that if you go too long, you are missing the milestones, the jokes, the stories, the laughter of everything that has passed between two people. In all that goodness, you are also missing something else.  There are the hardships, the bad days, and the struggles that you and your friend are going through.  

Life is rough and demanding and sometimes demeaning.  When we lose touch with that one person who could always talk it out or problem-solve with us, we tend to look for others to fill that void.  I don't know how many times I have said "Let's get together one of these days" and then not follow up on that.  It's because life gets in the way!  It's a cruel reality but I firmly believe it is true.  

What is it that makes someone a real, true friend? I would love to hear your comments on that.  

I think it is interesting to see what is valuable to one person and what is valuable to another because we all have a different idea of what we expect of others.  There are no right or wrong answers.  My thoughts on that are that a person is there...whether in person, on the phone, or even by text messaging whenever they can be; and I realize we can't all be available all the time.  Work gets hectic, family life exhausts us.  I really only talk to a few people on the phone and I think that is because that's what I do at work...I talk to people.  And it gets exhausting.  It doesn't mean I don't care about what my friends are doing or going through.  It means that I need to communicate with them in a different way.  Face to face has always been my favorite mode of communication.  I need to get better at communication which is funny since that's the line of work I am in. 

 I need to get better at being a better person.  A better friend.  

We are trying to get the house we are currently living in finished up so we can move this spring.  And as soon as the weather cooperates we will be working on the country house to get it done just enough to move in and finish as we go.  It will be non-stop this-and-that for at least another year.  We are short-handed at work and my priority has always been to be available there.  It's an important job.  Not just anyone can walk in and do it.  So I want to do it.  I love to do it.  

See what I mean about life getting in the way?  Why do we let our friendships take the back burner when we get bogged down with "things" that we want to get done?  Why do we let each other do that?  Why can't we speak up and say "Hey, I feel like you're ignoring me. Let's fix that."  We don't do it and we won't do it because we don't want to inconvenience anybody.  Life has taught us that our problems and our struggles can wait until someone can spare a minute.  

I just want to urge you to reach out to your friends and make a plan.  See them, spend time with them; even if it is just for an hour at a time.  It's important.  If you haven't seen your friend(s) for a long time, it will probably be a visit or two just to get caught up with the past.  Stop letting life get in the way of the important things.  I'm not saying take time away from your families.  Sometimes,  we need to be a bit more selfish when it comes to those we hold near and dear to our hearts.  That is important; friendship is JUST as important.  

Don't let life take away the pieces of your lives that make you who you are.  Don't let it get in the way of sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly.  We all have ugly and we need to show that ugly to someone once in a while.  

I feel like I'm being vague.  I apologize.  I just do not want to struggle to keep up with my close friends.  I do not want to feel like a visitor with them simply because I haven't been able to see them for a few weeks.  I have seen people at Walmart that I used to talk to on a regular basis, only to say hello in passing, as I rush on with shopping list in hand, scurrying down another aisle.  We all have done this.  I really have to work on this.  Being a good person; a better friend.  

Our friends are our family from the heart and we need to remember to cherish that.  I will be working on that from this day forward.

I guess that's all I have to say at this point.  I just needed some "me time" before heading to bed finally.  I just wanted to share my viewpoint.  It doesn't have to mean much to you.  I think it is more of a wake up call to myself.  Trying to find clarity for myself.

Thanks for reading!