I hope that every one of you has met at least one person in your life that has changed and challenged the way you think, the way you feel, the way you respond. I hope that every one of you has met at least one person in your life that has believed in you, pushed you, and broadened your horizons.
I have had the honor and the pleasure of having one person be all of the above for me and his name is Tyler James Cross. Some of you may know him and some of you may not but I think everyone should meet someone in their life that is just exactly like Tyler.
The other day when we were at the hospital spending time with Ty and the family, someone had left a book there and people were writing in it. The book was "What Tyler has taught me." If you know me, you know that I couldn't wait to get my hands on that book and let some emotion seep out. But since that day and since I wrote in that book, I have not been able to "let go" of the book; at least in my head. I know what I wrote and I meant every word of what I wrote in that book. And what I wrote stays between me, Tyler and the family. Just like what everyone else wrote in the book. It is personal. I didn't read anything that anybody else wrote. I just wanted to write down my special message and be happy that I was able to "tell" him.
But when I say that I haven't been able to "let go" of that book, I mean that I find myself thinking about all the things that I have talked about with Tyler through the years. All the things we have starting joking around about and ended up in a deep, meaningful conversation. It didn't take much with Tyler. He was a pretty deep kid.
Almost 18 years old and he is literally sketched into my heart pretty deep. I know that I will never meet another like him. Tyler always, always looked for the good in everybody. When I would be frustrated with someone, he would always find a way to make me think about things from that person's point of view. He would, without even trying, put me in that person's shoes and have me try to see what they are seeing. He would try (and I say try because sometimes Ty thought I was a little stubborn) to not necessarily say I was wrong in how I felt but help me understand that others are seeing what I'm seeing, in a whole different light.
Ty loved to joke around. Ty loved to scare me. When I used to work for one of his nursing companies, and I would be cleaning his room, he loved to leave a rubber snake or a plastic bug laying around where I would least expect to find it. Not that I am afraid of snakes but when you come across one and you're not expecting it to be there, it takes you back! Thank God he never got me with a spider!
Tyler and his brother Justin (who passed away in 2007 at the age of 22) were both born with one of the most debilitating conditions a person can imagine. Epidermolysis Bullosa (ep-ih-dur-MOL-uh-sis Buhl-LOE-sah). I have to be honest with you, even with that pronunciation there, I still can't say it. It is referred to as EB and it is known as the worst disease you've never heard of. Children with this disease are known as butterfly children because their skin is as fragile as the wings of a butterfly.
Here is just a little information about EB that I got online from the Mayo Clinic. There is so much more to learn about this awful disease though.
"EB is a group of rare diseases that cause the skin to blister. The blisters may appear in response to minor injury, heat, or friction from rubbing, scratching or adhesive tape. In severe cases, the blisters may occur inside the body, such as the lining of the mouth or intestines. Most types of EB are inherited. The condition usually shows up in infancy or early childhood. Some people don't develop signs and symptoms until adolescence or early adulthood. EB has no cure, though mild forms may improve with age. Treatment focuses on addressing the symptoms-such as infection and itching-and preventing pain and wounds. Severe forms may cause serious complications and can be fatal. EB is usually inherited. Researchers have identified more than a dozen genes involved with skin formation that, if defective, may cause a type of EB. The skin is made up of an outer layer (epidermis) and an underlying layer (dermis). The area where the layers meet is called the basement membrane zone. The type of EB you have is defined by where in these layers the blisters form." --The Mayo Clinic
I have been staring at Facebook for the past 24 hours and now on the television. Tyler has left this world and is finally free of all his pain. He can run with his brother and his friends and he no longer has any limitations. He is in Heaven and I can easily see in my mind, how big his smile is. And as happy as I am for him to be "home," that selfish part pokes me in the ribs.
I can not get in my head that I won't see Ty again. I can not get in my head that I will never hear him say "Where is your redneck husband?" again. I won't see him smile again. I guess it's harder to grasp when it is someone so young. I don't know. I have only known Ty for about seven years but he was a huge part of me for these seven years. He was always hanging around in the back of my mind... helping me rethink things and giving me that extra push that I needed.
Thank you Tyler, for so many smiles, so many laughs, so many tears, so many memories. Thank you for being the friend that you were; always making me feel like I was part of your family, part of your life, part of your heart. I will always and forever hold you in my heart and treasure every memory I have of you.
Thank you for introducing me to people that I otherwise wouldn't known. Not so long ago, we were at the hospital visiting Ty and this guy walks in and you could instantly see the friendship between this guy and Ty. I just sat back and let them have their fun; their conversation. Then Ty says to me, "Shellie, this is Matthew Morgan. He is The Dark Knight." If you know me at all, you know that I couldn't believe my ears. I'm pretty sure I was stunned and in awe at the same time. There I was in the same room with the guy that plays one of my most favorite superheroes of all time. TDK (or you might know him as Batman in some circles)!!!!! I will be at the Comicon this November. I can't wait. So yeah...Ty has the best circle of friends!
I saw this picture the other day and it kinda just says it for me, so I will end with it. Tyler, I love you and I miss you and someday we will see each other again. Until then, the rest of us will be down here fighting the fight. Oh yeah...and I will help keep your mom busy...keep giving your dad a lot of grief...and I will always treasure Miss Mackenzie and Beth.
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