Working out...mind and body

As I type this, I don't have any idea if I will have the nerve to hit "publish."

I joined a friend in a 3 month "thing" as we like to call it; she is trying to drop a few pounds to fit into a dress and asked me if I was interested in joining her.  Of course I was!  All I was needing at that time was a little motivation.  What I didn't do was look at the calendar!  April, May, June, and half of July. She sneaked that little half month thing in there recently but they, what's a few more days, right?  

April.....traveling to some doctor appointments with Kathy and Jackie.  This means possibly eating in the car as well as at restaurants we've never been to that may or may not have the best choices.  (As a side note, we actually all did very good on choosing healthy places to eat AND I learned to never eat at a Hy-Vee Marketside place ever again lol)
May.....memorial day.   My dear potato salad will have to be put on hold for a while.  Oh I hear you already!  "You can have it as long as you have it in moderation!"  Yes, I know this.  I also know that I can't eat potato salad in moderation!  Trust me, I have had plenty of practice!
June.....it's picnic time and who has a picnic without potato chips?  Ugh, I would LOVE a bag...and I mean a big bag...of dill pickle potato chips right now!  I would just stick my head in the bag, inhale and that would be that.  Do you sense a potato theme going on here?
July.....and here I thought I was going to be able to eat like 6 hot dogs on the fourth of July!  Haha no!  Who am I kidding, I wouldn't even be able to eat 6 hot dogs now.  I like the thought of it though.  So...fourth of July and funnel cakes go together, don't they?  Yes, they do.  Oh funnel cakes, I am going to miss you!

We are just past our third week on this "thing" and I have lost 10 lbs that I know of.  Of course I forgot to weigh yesterday so there's that.  I will do it later today when I wake up, I guess.  

And here's where I let things get to me.  Where it makes me mad as hell and more self conscious about my body.

I have a "friend" that likes to crack jokes about how my body looks; how "scary" it must be when I work out; how I won't ever look like those "hot" girls that you see on tv, no matter what I do; I have no...and never will have...a butt.  

I am pretty quick to fire back with things like "At least I am doing something besides sitting on the sidelines watching someone else try to better themselves while I do nothing."  I do not care what I look like when I exercise.  What I care about is how my body and my mind feel after I'm done.  I don't care if I never look like those "hot" girls that we see on tv because I want to be my own person; not them.  And the rumors are true.  I have no butt.  Sadly.  I am working on it but it isn't a priority.  I am sorry for those that can't understand that my gluteus is totally maximus!  It is all completely muscle.
And I'm okay with that.  And my legs are to die for.  Seriously in good shape and the rest is going to follow!    Besides, what do I need extra for anyway?  I have enough "extra" in other places that need to be a priority.

So there it is.  I don't care what anybody...including those that are my "friends" have to say to negatively impact my life.  I am stronger than that and I am better than that. 


SO WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?