A few of my favorite...and not so favorite

I have been seeing a lot of posts on Facebook that go something like this:

I SPEAK MY MIND.  I AM A BITCH.  IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE THINGS I LIKE THEN FEEL FREE TO WALK AWAY.

Those are not the exact words but I have a feeling you're picking up what I'm putting down, right?  In the spirit of telling you about me, let me tell you some of my "likes" and "dislikes."  

LIKES:

RESPECT - GIVING IT AND GETTING IT
It took me many years to understand that if I wanted people to take me seriously and treat me like a responsible adult, not only do I need to BE one, but I need to treat others the same way.  It's more than "do unto others as you would want done to you."  I don't even know if I can put it into words.  Even as a young lady, it took me years to really...and I mean REALLY...get it.  And I'm human.  I'm not perfect.  I am still learning as I go.  I have burned a lot of bridges in my time and some of those bridges I will never get back.  No matter what I do.  I have apologized to many people in the past two years, for wrongs that I don't know how to right any other way than that.  Sadly, some of those people will never again give me the time of day to say anything in my own defense.  And that was a cold, hard wall in my face.  A good way to learn respect but also a hard way.  A way I would never recommend.  On the good side, many people have accepted my apology and my life...and hopefully theirs...is better for it.  Our relationships have more meaning and we are A LOT more prone to talk to each other now, rather than let attitudes ruin it for us again.

ACCOUNTABILITY - FOR MYSELF AND OTHERS
"Dodging" accountability is what has made me yearn for it, if that makes any sense.  Growing up as the baby of the family, I was spoiled.  Ask any of my family and they will never deny it.  And I think part of that made me not take responsibility for some of the things I have done.  Now, I'm not blaming my parents or my family for anything.  I made each and every bad choice on my own.  I take full responsibility for my actions.  But honestly, it took not being responsible for so many years...and being judged by it...to make me want to be accountable for me.  And I think it is why I try so hard to do so much for other people.  Maybe I'm trying to validate what I feel, in my heart, I didn't do right so long ago.  Maybe I'm trying to fix the past with the present.  I don't know.  All I know is that if I did wrong, I am the first to admit it.  It isn't easy but it's a necessity in my life.  I hope that made sense.

MANNERS - FOR ME, FOR YOU, FOR EVERYONE AROUND US
Now...this one is almost an important one for me.  And I will have to add this to my dislikes as well.  You will see why.  Anyway, I am huge about thanking people.  Even on the radio at work, when I have sent a Deputy out to check on something and he does, I say 10-4 thank you.  It was funny for them when I first started and everyone teased me about it but it's such a natural thing for me that now they don't even notice that I do it.  I also love to send thank you'd to people.  I just love it!  Please is a favorite of mine also.  You can't say it enough in my opinion.  Please read my blogs.  Please make comments.  Please like me.  See how that works?  And I thank you for that and I like you too!!!  

ORGANIZATION - ALL AROUND ME
If you would take a step into my home, you would think I meant to put this on my dislike list but I really do like organization.  I think that every single thing should have a place and to be in that place when not in use. Unfortunately, I have a husband that not only disagrees with my concept of organization, he goes out of his way to mess with me.  I like to plan.  I like to write things out.  I like there to be order among the world.  And I used to get this type of planning confused with OCD.  I don't believe that just because I like my magazines to be in a perfect stack, in a certain area, that I have OCD.  I believed I had that for years.  What I really believe I have is such a stubborn nature that I just want it MY way.  I know you're shocked.  I can see it on your face.  The last girls weekend that we went on, almost drove me to complete and utter frustration simply because we didn't PLAN where we were going, what we wanted to do, who we wanted to see, and when we would return home.  We didn't plan ONE thing for that weekend and guess what.  It may have been the best one so far.  Unbelievably true but I don't know if I can go through that again anytime soon.  I must know what I'm walking into before I walk into it. 

Okay, enough of that.  I like a whole lot more than that but I have a feeling I would lose you if I just kept going.  So moving on...let's take a look at my....

DISLIKES:

MANNERS - OR LACK THEREOF
I don't have a problem with being goofy out and about; in front of the world.  Matter of fact, I rather get a kick out of watching someone be amused with life and celebrating it.  What I don't get too much of a kick out of is hearing people swear in public.  I don't care who you are or what your reason is, I think it's awful and I think it's embarrassing.  There's a time and a place for certain words and out in public is not the place.  I get uncomfortable when "my people" swear out loud in a restaurant.  I get uncomfortable when "my people" belittle someone for something they don't understand.  I even get uncomfortable...and embarrassed for...someone who is not acting their age in a public forum.  Here's an example.  I was at Walmart one day with a friend who had brought along another friend.  The "other" friend talked loud while walking around the store; this person didn't care if they were standing or walking in someone's line of traffic; this person apparently thought it was "cool" to say the F word multiple times, loudly.  I finally just separated myself from them until time to leave and those two people have never went with me together again.  Actually, the "other" friend hasn't ever been anywhere with me again.  BUT, about a week after this Walmart thing went down, I was in our local grocery store and this "other" person came in and I was about halfway down the last aisle, so they saw me when they entered the store and this person yells LOUDLY, "Shellie!!!!"  And comes running (literally) at me.  I just smiled and said hi.  Of course everyone was looking at me and I wanted to crawl under a rock.  I had literally met this person one time before this day and that was when we all went to Walmart that day.  If I could have gotten ahold of this person outside of the store that day, I probably would have said some things that weren't very nice.  But I didn't and words have never been uttered.  And I haven't put myself in a position to be in a place with this person again, either.  And I can be a real potty-mouth, don't get me wrong.  I can cuss it like with the best of them.  But not where it isn't supposed to be said.  I can name one time when I completely went berserk in the world of swearing in public.  It went something like this:
(Phone call from) Quintin:  I took your car to Creston last night and ended up having to put an alternator in it.  And I had to take a breath test in the Kum N Go parking lot while I was doing it.  
Me:  Had you been drinking?
Q:  I had a couple sips of some moonshine about 3 hours earlier but that was all.
Me:  Hmmm I wonder why they wanted a breath test then?
Q:  Probably because I called that cop a bitch.
Me:  YOU WHAT?  WHAT THE **** WERE YOU THINKING?  WHY THE **** WOULD YOU DO THAT?  ARE YOU ****ING SERIOUS??
Oh, I forgot to mention that I was in an IHOP waiting for a table and there were people all around me.  And yes, I was in the wrong.  On more than one account.  Not only should I have apologized to everyone around me but my husband was in the right.  At least in my opinion.  That cop was being a bitch.  Lesson learned:  next time wait for the WHOLE story!!!!

JUDGING SOMEONE - ESPECIALLY BASED ON THEIR PAST
I truly believe that it is human nature for people to judge and that no matter what we do, we always will judge in one form or another.  What I absolutely can't stand is when someone makes an assumption or a judgement call about another person based on their past decisions, rumors they have heard about someone, or simply because they don't like what that person's style is.  
"Too many tattoos.  Can't be trusted." 
"How many colors do they need in their hair?  I hope they don't get a job here."
"I heard they kill neighborhood pets.  Don't be friends with them."
"I heard she is a lesbian.  I don't want to be seen around her or people will think I'm the same way."
Seriously people.  This happens.  I made everyone of these examples up so don't think I am picking on anyone.  But it's an easy thing to do.  Like I said, it's human nature.  I try my best not to do that though.  Not to base any decision on any person, on any fact other than those that I have seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears.  It's way too easy for a rumor to take shape because of what we "hear."

BEING ALONE IN A RELATIONSHIP - ANY RELATIONSHIP
I have talked about this before so I will keep it short and sweet.  I have never been in a worse relationship than I have by being alone.  This goes for any kind of relationship.  Intimate, familial, or friendship.  You can be in ANY kind of relationship and be alone and it sucks.  It takes more than one to make a relationship work but how long should one person try to keep it going?  I agree we shouldn't keep score with people because in the end, it's not about how many times you came to my house versus how many times I came to yours, and it's not about how many times you said you loved me compared to how many times I did.  It's not about that.  It's about what measures each person is willing to take to just KEEP the relationship.  I don't like being the only one that does this and it makes me walk away from people.  It makes me not want to look back and not want to care.  It makes me shut those people out and then I forget that they should even be a part of my world.  

OWING MONEY TO SOMEONE - FOR ANYTHING
I absolutely hate owing someone money.  I don't know why; maybe because for so many years, I made so many poor choices and spent more money than I made, that I felt ashamed if I owed someone money.  I don't know if it's just me or what but where we live, if I can't pay my utility bill on time, or if we get behind...I can't look the city clerk in the eye.  It has nothing to do with her though.  My husband has a charge account at a business here in town and I just keep out of the store altogether because I hate that he just makes payments and truly never gets paid off because as soon as he pays for his charges, he has more stuff he has charged.  And they allow him to do it, I realize this.  But I can't look those people in the eye.  I don't know why.  I just can't.  I hate going to the doctor's office because I make payments to the billing office.  Why do I do this?  Am I the only one that does this?  It. Is. Thoroughly. Embarrassing. For. Me.

So there you have it.  In a nut shell.  These are a few of my favorite...and not so favorite...things.  So going back to the top where I mentioned some of these Facebook posts stating such things like, "If you don't like the way I am, feel free to walk away," I would like to remind you that while you may not care what people think of you, I have a feeling you want people to think you are kind; you are loving; you are sensitive to others' needs; and that you have a heart.  

I have pushed my fair share of people from my life in many different ways and have found out that sometimes, no matter what you say or what you do, you may never get those people back.  And you just may need them someday.  I believe it's true that while people come in and out of your life for a reason, just because they aren't in your life today, doesn't mean they aren't meant to be in it a year from now.  Or ten years from now.  Just like everything else...there's a time and a place and a reason for each and every thing and every one of us.

I hope you enjoyed today's blog.  Until next time...thanks for reading and have a great week!!!