Sometimes the best of intentions aren't always the best of intentions. The best laid plans...well, not always so. Don't you just hate it when you go to do the right thing and it all seems to fall apart in front of your eyes? Today I was reading some things on Facebook and I said outloud, to nobody in particular, "How many awful things can happen to one person in one day?"
Touche! Lesson learned. Keep your thoughts to yourself Shellie and above all that...keep your big mouth shut!
A former boss of mine lost his father over the weekend. So today, I call up my "partner in crime" Beth, and we decide that we need to do something for the old boss. We plan to meet up in Greenfield and go to the grocery store together, get some food and special goodies, and head down to his house.
Before I go any further, let me just say that this man isn't like most people. Although he is lovable and funny and considerate of others and the best story teller on earth, he goes out of his way to be hard and mean and unfriendly. All the while being friendly, if that makes any sense at all! This man has said from day 1, "Don't try to be my friend." And from that moment on, I loved him like a family member. I mean, you can see the connection I had with him, right? Especially the mean part!! Okay, back to my story.
The plan was going well so far. We had the groceries and were heading to Orient. The closer we got to town, the more anxious I became. And so did Beth. Neither of us had ever stopped at his home before. He was pretty adamant that he didn't want his co-workers there so former co-workers probably wasn't on his list of house guests either.
"What if there are a bunch of people there and he tells us to leave?" Or worse...
"What if there are a bunch of people there and he tells us to stay?" Oh dear...
"What if nobody is home?"
"We have food. Someone has to be there."
Our stomachs in knots, we pull up to the house and it looks like nobody is around. We knew they had a couple of dogs and didn't know what kind of reception we would get if they were holding down the fort. I get nominated to go to the door. Something strangely wrong about this democracy. Ring the doorbell. Nothing. I didn't even hear the doorbell so I don't know if it even worked. Open the screen door and knock loudly. Seven times. I don't know why I remember that but I do. Nobody. A man pulls up to the house and we tell him nobody is here. He promptly leaves.
"What are we going to do with this food?"
"Leave it on the porch?"
"We can't do that! Some animal will come eat it!!!"
"Okay go check and see if the door is unlocked."
Yes...I just got thrown under the bus...in front of the firing squad...however you want to say it. I will be the first person shot and killed. You would think that thought alone would be enough to make me not do it but NOOOOOO! Right to the door I went and it was unlocked!
I. Was. Shocked.
So, I open the door and yell for the old man and get nothing. Beth is behind me yelling too. We want him to know it is us entering so he doesn't kill us. Oh hell, who am I kidding!!! I was taking a pretty good chance with my life just by entering without permission no matter WHO I was. I see the old dog laying in the other room, to old to come greet us even though we called him by name. I take my bags of groceries and set them on the table and Beth literally steps inside the door enough for the screen to shut behind her. She isn't about to step any further. For obvious reasons, ya know! Okay, groceries on the table and cards laid on top. Let's get the hell out of here!
As we exit the home, we see this little chihuahua looking dog walking away from the house, looking at us like "What are you doing there and who are you?" Our first reaction was, "OH MY GOD. DID WE LET A DOG OUT???" We walk toward the dog only to spook it and it takes off on us. So we jump in the car and follow it, freaking out the whole time, knowing we are going to die for this one. It stays on the block but it knows we are wanting to get it so it keeps out of reach.
We cruise the town for a while, giving it time to go back "home." If home is where we thought it was. We came back around about 10 minutes later to find the dog in the yard at the next door neighbors house so we pull in and I get out. The dog takes off. I knock on the neighbors door to ask him if he knows if this is the dog in question. We take off down the back yard and he says he doesn't think it is but he isn't sure. His wife isn't home but the dog will come to her at any time. He told me he would have her check when she got back.
I called our boss because I knew that he knew what the dog looked like. I told him what had happened, because at this point I thought WE had let the dog out, and his response was "YOU WENT INTO HIS HOUSE??? YOU DON'T EVER JUST GO INTO HIS HOUSE!!" Well bossman, it's a little late for that info, don't you think??? He describes the dog and I'm pretty sure I went pale. I hang up and I call my cousin, who lives down the street. She describes the same stupid dog we are seeing! Ugh, seriously!!??!!
Is this really happening? All we wanted to do was take some damn food to these people!!!
We drive some more and start tearing the scenario apart.
#1: We couldn't have let the dog out because I checked as I walked in and there was no dog in sight, except for the one in the other room. And when Beth came in with me, she shut the door behind her. She would have noticed a dog by her feet. Heck, with her grace, she would have tripped on it!
There was a note on the table about the Methodist Church women bringing food. We are throwing them under this bus. If anybody let the dog out, it was them. Not us. We are going to hell, I tell ya.
#2: The neighbor had told us what the dog's name was and when we called it, it looked at us like we were nuts. Don't go there. I had already considered that we were!
#3: They take that dog everywhere with them.
I finally jump out of my thoughts enough to see that we are headed south.
"If we keep going, we are going to end up in Creston."
"So what. We are panicking now and we need to figure something out. We have nothing else to do but think this thing out so we can drive."
I am anxious and my stomach is in knots. Beth is anxious and she wants to throw up.
"We are almost to Creston." And it is amazing how fast we got there because as panicked as were were, she only drove 49 mph! Yep, you read that right. We were getting passed left and right. It was something straight out of a twilight movie!
"Good. We are driving by every funeral home in town until we find him. And then we are driving by to see if that damn dog is in the truck."
Guess what? His truck wasn't at any of them. We checked every restaurant that I had ever heard him talk about, with no luck. Isn't it funny that when you are looking for a certain color and type of vehicle, that's all you see??? Now that I think about it, we did not go through the Walmart parking lot! Seriously, why didn't we do that???
Time to stress eat. Get me to a Taco Johns and fast! I need some comfort food. A tasty "last meal" if you will. As we get our order and pull away, a light comes on in my head.
"DUH!!! His dad's house! Go to his dad's house! I know that is where they would be!!" I turn to uncle Google to find his address and when I spoke his name into my phone, I got everything from where to find turtles to where to take diving lessons. Don't ask. I don't even know. Took me a minute or two because it's hard to type into your gps when you're stuffing your face with comfort food all the while wondering who is going to show up at YOUR funeral when you get killed for all of this.
Found the house and no! No old man there either. A couple of other vehicles which I assume are his dad's and maybe his sisters but not his. At this point, I only care about his vehicle. Now why didn't we just stop and ask his sister to call him and ask?? Why, at 11:30 at night did I just think of that?? I'll tell you why. Because I was stressed to the hilt at this point!!
"Let's just head back and see if they are home yet. It's 8pm and this man doesn't have a life. He has to be home now." Northbound we go.
#4: "I just remembered something key! That dog we were chasing around is a male. I saw him piss on a mailbox post. It was most definitely a male. Not sure why that didn't register with me before."
HUGE sigh of relief! I know why it didn't register before. It was because we were scared for our lives. Okay, we did not lose old man's dog. And then Beth says the one thing I did not need to hear. "What if that dog was his dad's dog? We all know his dad had a dog and don't you think he would bring it home with him?" I'm not sure I've ever wanted to hurt someone so badly in my life as I wanted to hurt her then. How dare she put that thought in my head? The old man loves dogs more than people on ANY given day. Oh. My. God. What have we done?
I would be lying if I said that we didn't do a lot of praying while riding around in that car tonight. With the thought of impending doom closing in on us at every turn, I wasn't even sure praying was going to help us.
We get back to Orient and don't see one sign of the dog. And the old man isn't home yet either. Oh my god!! And of course, by this time, I either need to puke or poop. Not sure which but I am so sick to my stomach that I know something needs to happen.
"Look, we both know this man well enough that he would not leave his dad's dog in his house, knowing people would be coming by with food and stuff, taking a chance that the dog would escape. We just know better. The dog has to be at his dad's and I'm sure his sister is staying there." Yep, that has to be it.
"AND, we both knows dogs well enough that as skiddish as it was outside, it wouldn't have come "at us" to get out the door as we went in. It was clearly terrified of us." So we went home. We do not have a phone number for the man. I am not sure what I am going to do. I may have to make a trip in the morning to find out for myself. There could be a trip to jail and a restraining order in my near future. My boss is going to love this. If you love me, you will have bond money ready.
Wish me luck...however I decide to proceed. And thanks for reading. It could very well be my last post! HA!!!
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