The past 24 hours

For the past 24 hours, I have been trying to form this blog in my head.  It has changed several times since I first heard the words from one of my officers to the other, "Two officers shot in Des Moines."  I was already off work but I was still there and I knew there was no way I could leave the office anytime soon.  When I hear stuff like that, my body and mind react and I have no control over it.  I want to know what is going on.  I want to know three minutes ago what is going on now.  As a dispatcher, I either have to wait until after a call to know what happened or I just never know.  The latter isn't very fun but it comes with the job and I have just gotten used to it.  But this.....

Two officers shot and killed in their patrol vehicles; ambushed by a coward; for whatever reason.  

For the past 24 hours, I have shed tears for two men that I have never known. I have prayed over and over for their families that I have never met and probably will never meet in my life.  For two men that are and will forever be heroes to me, I will always remember and respect their greatest sacrifice to humankind.

For the past 24 hours, I have thought about so many what-ifs.  What if this happens in my little world?  What if this happens to anybody that I call family?  What if this happens while I am working?  What if this happens while I'm not working?  How am I going to handle it?  How will I know?  These thoughts literally sicken me to my core and it makes me scared for the next call that could come in.  But it will never stop me from coming to work.  It will never make me want to stop helping them. It will never make me stop loving this job and it will never make me stop loving the jobs that these fine people do; day in and day out; protecting and serving those that don't give a shit about them!  

I'm so mad I could scream.  But all that comes out are tears.  It takes everything in me to hold myself together after something like this.  Senseless bullshit.  Our world has gone completely crazy.  I had just told my sister I was glad we grew up in a time when we never had to worry about if our dad would make it home each night.  He didn't even have to carry a gun, for god's sake!  We lived in a jail house and never locked the doors!  The last thing that would ever happen back then is someone coming inside to harm us!  Today, you couldn't count on that.

And now I regularly pray for the spouses, significant others, and the children of all the men and women that I get the pleasure of working with.  I pray that God helps me do whatever I can to help keep these people safe and to get them home at the end of their shift.  Everyday, I pray that today is not the day that they meet some shitbag that thinks they are just a little bit bigger and a little bit tougher and are going to make someone pay for whatever bad thing happened in their personal life.  And I hope you will do the same.  I hope you will pray for our world to come to their senses and stop this madness.  I hope you will stop and say a prayer for your local law enforcement.

If you support law enforcement, show them.  Let them know.  You don't have to go to any extravagant means either.  When you see a law enforcement officer, say hello and thank them; introduce yourself and your child(ren) so that it shows a bond and teaches trust between you and the police; be vigilant and keep a watchful eye out.  After all, these heroes that protect us, sometimes need a little help too.  They are after all, human.  You would be amazed at how appreciative they are to hear a few kind words and to know their community is behind them.

DMPD SGT. ANTHONY BEMINIO ~ EOW 11/2/2016 

URBANDALE PD JUSTIN MARTIN ~ EOW 11/2/2016

Rest in peace, sirs.  We got it from here.

Usually I would ask for feedback but not today.  Today I just want two things.

Say a prayer and then share this blog.