I love my school (very long)

I think blue is an appropriate color of print tonight considering I am going to talk about what is going on in my hometown.  Everytime I think about it, I am reminded of the old days when they used to hang people without giving them a chance to defend themselves.  Not "guilty until proven innocent" but more like "guilty because it puts on a better show."

First off, above ALL else, I would like to make sure that EVERYBODY reading this understands that this boy, Kacey, is top priority.  His life is of major importance.  To anybody that gives one shit about this problem.  I catch myself praying for this kid...who I wouldn't know if he walked up to me and punched me in the nose...many many many times over the course of each day.  I love kids.  Even the ones that I don't know.  Every kid deserves the chance to be seen.  Every kid deserves the chance to be heard.  Every kid deserves the chance to be loved.  Every kid deserves the chance to be themselves.  

Now, here's the start of a bunch of problems.  Somebody with a mouth too big for their head, got on their facebook and told the world, "Kacey was bullied.  The kids at school bullied him repeatedly in front of coaches and instructors and everybody turned their head."  I read that with my own four eyeballs.  What I see is somebody that took half of their brain and made the decision to "slander" a group of people simply because they can.  Little girl I think you are a little witch for doing what you did.

So then, the race was on.  The race to see just how many people could be told in one night.  Have you ever played that game "telephone" where you sit in a circle and whisper to each other what is supposed to be the same thing to each other?  The person at the end has to repeat what they were told "out loud" and 9 times of out 10, it wasn't anywhere close to being the same as what the first person said.  Have you ever wondered why that happens?  Because people are so excited to play the game, they don't listen to what they are being told and they screw it up.  

This situation is my case in point.  Facebook is fun.  Facebook is informative.  But the one thing Facebook is, over ALL else, is misleading.  Because you read something, doesn't make it right; doesn't make it real; and damn sure doesn't make it true!  

The other day I had a status about this.  I'd like to "pick" at my own work if you'd do me the honor.

The village called and they would like their idiot back. 

In my version, the girl that turned to Facebook and hung a piece of raw meat in front of a bunch of already drooling dogs and set them to barking, is the village idiot.  I should cast a school play.

Let me ask you this: If you and 2 others were in charge of a group of 30+ kids, and you were responsible for every action and reaction that those 30+ kids made, how would YOU do it? 

Do you know exactly how many coaches the Bedford Football team has?  Do you know that some of those people are volunteers, which means they don't get paid.  They have their real jobs to do.  They can be there as their job allows.  I thank God for those volunteers.  Maybe some of you big mouths should volunteer your time with these school kids and ease up the stress of the coaches, teachers and principals.  Before you go cutting them down for "not doing a good enough job," why don't you take a walk in their shoes and see just exactly what they do and how they do it.

And how fair would that be to think that YOUR kid, and every other kid out there, needs somebody to watch their every single move? There would probably be a lot of upset parents complaining that their kids thought they couldn't be trusted. 

Here's a scenario to think about.  We have adults come to every practice, for every sport, every single day.  And each adult will have a job.  How long do you think it would take before a parent was complaining to the school board because their child feels like a criminal and doesn't need to be watched every hour of every minute of every second of every day?  How long exactly?  I give it a week.  Then you have not only sports to think about, but PE as well.  They are going to have to have adult supervision in that dressing room and one standing in the shower as well.  We have to make sure these kids don't make eye contact with each other or snap each other with a towel or crack a joke at someone's expense.  How long do you think THAT would take before a parent was complaining about someone "looking" at their kid.  OH SEXUAL HARRASSMENT I HEAR YOU COMING WITHIN MINUTES!!!!  Does anyone see where I'm going with this?  If not, I don't care.

Keep in mind that I said kids. I didn't say responsible adults. Kids do some of the silliest things you can imagine. Kids also do some of the stupidest things imaginable. Kids are mean. They have been since the beginning of time. Kids have pulled hair. Kids have beaten the crap out of each other. 

When I was little, the kids called me Smelly Shellie.  They called all the other Shelly's that too.  Not because we smelled.  Well maybe we did, I don't remember.  But they did it because it rhymed and it sounded HI-LARIOUS!!!  Kids will be kids until they stop being kids.  And there's another problem I see.  Kids these days get to be kids until they're about 6 years old.  After that, they are expected to know more, to understand more, and to be able to do more than a 6th grader from "my day."  Let your kids be kids, people.  Let them grow up.  A little chiding isn't hurting anyone but remember one very important thing here if you don't remember anything else.  Kids learn by example.  If your kid is being a bully at school.....well they learned it from someone.  Surely not YOU though.  You dont do that!  All those times you were teaching your kid to "tease," you were teaching them to bully, in a sense.  What you need to know is where that line is so that you can teach your children how to look for the line.  Oh yes, I am blaming you.

I'm not saying it's right and I'm not saying it's wrong. Maybe this bullying thing is out of hand. Maybe it's not. Maybe we coddle our kids a little too much; give them too much; don't tell them NO enough. Maybe we need to stop trying to be BFF's with our kids and go back to good old fashioned disciplining. 

I was spanked my whole young life.  And I deserved each and every spanking I got.  We didn't have an Atari in our home until Nintendo came out.  And even then, the outdoors was the greatest toy on earth.  Where else can you use your imagination at will?  Imagination.  You remember, don't you?  The images in your mind that took you to outerspace?  The ones that made you forget...just for the time being...that there wasn't any such thing on earth as a chore?  What, you don't remember???  Maybe you need to get off the computer, shut the tv off and get your ass outside and REMEMBER!!! 

It worked for my parents. They could care less if I liked them. As long as I understood them.

Hence the part about the spankings.  I never got spanked twice for the same crime.  Hell no, I was perfecting how to not get caught.  One time, my dad spanked me at the bottom of our steps and it came at such an impact, I ended up at the top of the stairs.  If you've ever been to the Sheriff's Office, you'll know there are 16 steps.  I will never forget that.  But I didn't do it again.  Until I had perfected it.  

As parents of any kid in the Bedford School District, I think we all need to understand that there isn't just ONE child affected by what is going on. We don't know ALL the facts because ALL the facts haven't been stated yet. Do your kids a favor by being a good role model and choose to NOT throw people under the bus and NOT gossip about things they don't know anything about yet.

I wonder just how many of you reading this are saying to yourself, "She only cares because she has family that works in the school."  That is a concern of mine.  I can't lie about that.  I have two brothers, a nephew, at least one cousin that all work there.  God help me if I left someone out.  And to top that off, I have several people that work at that school that are extended family and dozens that I love dearly enough to stand up for.  And if anybody that reads these blogs or that talks to my family thinks that I don't have the balls to call someone out simply because they are a relative.....well you haven't been paying attention.  And you sure don't know me.  I have burned some bridges with people that I love with all my heart.  But fuck with my family...see what happens.

Keep in mind, everyone affected by this is going through something and these people are the same people you deal with day to day. You can look at someone in the eye and smile but when they have passed, you snicker and whisper. 

Everybody that is involved in this sad situation...whether they want to be or not...have a job to do.  They have families to feed and take care of.  The thing that really just pisses me off in about 14 colors is that those assholes that don't have all the facts (or any of them), look at these teachers, at these coaches, at these school employees...and smile at them.  But they can't wait until they are past them so they can juice up their story or make fun of them or put them down for something they don't even know they did.  It's time to grow up folks.  Leave your drama with your mama because this chic is sick of it.  And I pray to God that NONE of the children of the school employees have to endure ANY kind of trash talk from their own friends because they've heard it at home.  But I'd bet they already have.

Bedford you ARE better than this!

I have to say that I have faith in my school.  I love good ole BHS and I will forever.  A bulldog paw on my ankle for life.  I love you Bedford Community School. 

Now, there is one last thing I would like to discuss before I close what seems to be a short novel.  Again, if you've read my blogs, you'd know I don't do anything the easy way.  Today my Facebook status was this, "For those of you that are so quick to judge the school you and I came from, you might want to stop counting those chicks. All the eggs haven't hatched."

I was quite surprised when a former classmate of mine...someone who did not graduate from Bedford High School (because they moved away) spoke up and called MY school a shitty school.  Her name is Arlene Carroll.  Her and I used to be pretty thick back in the day.  Anyway, that is what she said to me.  If only I could have reached out and touched someone at that point.  I told her I didn't like that she said that about my school and this was her response, "I'm sorry shellie but there are things that happened to my kids in this school too something needs to change somewhere and it has nothing to do with the teachers! this has hit me hard because i to attended this school and it was never like this when we were kids!"  

She's right.  It wasn't like this when we were kids.  Times have changed honey.  If you didn't know that then you need to check your calendar.  I will tell you about a time Arlene and I got in trouble together in the 8th grade.  Her and I went to Tara Shatava's locker, got her shop notes out of it and tore them up in tiny pieces.  That's us being mean.  We got 3 days in-school suspension.  She had to sit at a desk outside the closet of the Principal's office, enjoying the view of teachers, the principal and the nurse coming and going throughout the whole 3 days while I got to sit INSIDE the damn closet.  With no windows.  With no people coming and going.  With nothing but my desk and my books.  Back in the day, that was dangerous territory.  We were bullies. 

Do you see now why I didn't have kids??? -_-

And my response to Ms. Carroll's statement above is this....."You had ONE child attend Bedford Community High School and that was for a very very short term.  Maybe a trimester if I recall???  And how do you have ANY opinion or say about the coaches when your child...for the whole time he attended BHS...didn't even play any sports???  You lady are unbelievable and I could care less if you find your way OFF my friends list.  I have no time or use for you.  Maybe, if you would have stepped up and took a stand for your kid, WHEN IT HAPPENED, this wouldn't be an issue now!

If any of you people want to bash Bedford and the awesome school and staff there, then I suggest you get the hell out.  Take your kids and move on out.  We don't need your kind if that's all you are looking for.  Someone to bow down and GIVE to your kids.  I had to earn my education and my adulthood.  It's time you and your kids did too.  I will defend my school and I will defend those I love.