And then, just like that, our conversation came to a halt and our world was consumed with very expensive cow-hide rugs, rustic home decor, and hand-made scarves and clothing. The first thing I saw when we walked in was a refrigerator and written in chalk on the front of it, was a sign that read something along the lines of "This is a real refrigerator. It has water for you to drink ($1.00)....." along with many other things. I should have taken a picture because I can't remember exactly what it said but seriously, if you walk into a store and there is a big ole refrigerator in the middle of the place, why would you not think it's a real refrigerator??? Only in Missouri.
Backing up a short bit, we stopped at the Pirtle Winery for a friend, where we got a free frozen wine slushie and then my favorite part: "DON'T LET THESE BOTTLES OF WINE SIT WHERE THE SUN SHINES ON THEM BECAUSE THE CORKS WILL POP RIGHT OUT AND YOU WILL HAVE WINE EVERYWHERE." Just peachy! Now I have to take these babies everywhere I go! Next time, get that stuff on the way back!!! Alas, no corks were popped and no wine was wasted in the making of this story! But, with all the wine and liquor I purchased in that little town, I'm sure if the people in our hotel saw all the alcohol I carried in with me...for it's own protection even though it was not all corked...they would have thought either: 1 - she is planning on doing some hard partying tonight; get security on standby or 2 - she has a severe problem; get security on standby. For the record, I got some Christmas presents. We all know I don't drink................................much!
Back to the quaint little shop. Sis is still in the front and I have made my way to the back, looking at decorative signs and here she comes with a card in her hand. "This is what dad would tell you" she says with a smile on her face.
That made me feel good for a while. And I thought it was actually going to work. I thought that was really what I needed. It felt good while it lasted. I used our whole two days deep in thought about what my future holds for me, for my husband; how our lives were either going to stay right where it was at or how it could be changed for the better. I'm thankful the ulcer was not flared up because I think this would have put me over the edge.
When we arrived in KC, we stopped at the Drury Inn to get a room and the gal rattles off a price that made both our chins drop. No way are we paying that. We kindly told the gal we would find another place. I mean, all we really wanted was a hot tub and an exercise room. How hard is that? While we were driving from place to place, I was scouring the internet for a room that wasn't going to cost us half the mortgage. No dice. Apparently, when the hotels start to fill up, they jack up the prices. And if that's not enough, even if you get a room with 2 beds and tell them you have 2 people staying, they charge you extra. Talk about screwing over your own customers!!! If I am going to stay there alone, why would I need an extra bed??? Let me guarantee you this...if I ever stay at a hotel alone, I am asking for a 2 bed-room and I'm going to sleep in both beds the same night. Going to take the sheets off the beds and pillows and pile them up on the floor. They have no choice but to take care of two beds, right? End rant.
A little over TWO hours later, we head back to the original hotel, the Drury Inn where we have to eat crow. "Still got that room available???" Too funny. We asked everybody what was going on in KC on a Wednesday that had everyone so full up and all anybody could come up with is that "maybe" there were a lot of people from Texas or Florida that were displaced for the time being. Maybe? Wouldn't you know that?
We go back to the truck to move it closer to our room...which we ended up parking at the complete opposite end...and a guy approaches us and says "I'm not looking for a ride. My car is broke down and my boss is coming but I just need a drink. If I could just have a dollar..." There was a Wendy's across the parking lot and the first thing that went through my mind was "I would never fall for this any other day" but this wasn't any other day! Cindy looks at me, trying not to laugh and says "I just have a dollar here." I open my little Weed money pouch and there's a $5 sitting right on top. Here, get something to eat, too! He appeared to be very thankful and headed toward Wendy's, where he went and stood by this old, seen better days car. We didn't stick around long enough to see if he was just going to rob it or if it was really his but either way he was our of our hair and maybe he got a sandwich...maybe he went and got a 40 oz.....maybe he got a cheap bottle of liquor. Not my fight but I did hang tight to all that liquor I was carrying from the truck to the room!!!
The first things we did when we got to our room was turn on the air, the tv, and lay down! By this time, I was emotionally exhausted and we took this time to catch up with the news and world reports, as well as be our silly selves. Kathy and Becky, if you're reading this, you missed out on a great time and you shouldn't have! Oh! Did I tell you that AFTER the room was paid for, they told us the pool AND hot tub were out of order???!!! Wow, thanks for all the action Drury Inn! Screwed us on price and gave us even less than we expected.
We went to the lounge and had a nice chicken salad for dinner and a free drink. THAT.HIT.THE.SPOT. Then we went to visit her kids and grand kids. This is and always will be one of my favorite parts of KC. The little ones are still at the age where they are okay with Aunt Shellie hugging and kissing on them so I take advantage while I can! Now, if I could just find a way to bottle up their energy and take it home with me.............
Back to the motel and I change my clothes to head to the exercise room while Cindy gets under her fluffy blanket and tells me I am on my own. I figure I have a 5k that I want to run...let's not get carried away here...jog, in October, so I better see if I can even do that! I may have done a little speed walking here and there but for the most part, I can do a 5k on a treadmill with minimal cursing and crying, in pretty good time. The part that scares me is the part where I have to carry a pumpkin the whole time. Their choosing from 1-10 lbs.! I have a deputy that thinks I can't do it because I have angel hair pasta for arm muscles, so we know what that means! I WILL DO THIS!! Now, to prepare myself to run on the streets! We all know running on a treadmill is nothing like running terrain...
My funeral arrangements have been made and notarized, just in case. And I don't care how upset (or relieved) you are Mr. Deputy, you are going to stand up and speak. Bahahahaha!! Friend and co-worker Polly is going to do this "run" with me and I asked her what she is going to do if I just fall over and die in the middle of the race and she said "Well, I am going to laugh when you first fall down!" Touche Polly! Spoken like a true friend!!! And this is why I'm going to do the race with her. She knows exactly what to do.....
When I got back to the room, I told sis that if she hears something at 04:00, don't worry it is just me going back to the exercise room because I automatically wake up then. Well, I work up alright....at 09:30!!! Perfect, comfortable sleep for hours and hours!!! At least 8 hours!!! I am not sure when the last time was that I had that much sleep without interruption. It was amazing. If the pool and hot tub were working, I would have just moved in. Problems all solved!!!
By the time we got our showers taken and packed up, breakfast bar (ha, I wish it was a bar) was closed. Nebraska Furniture Mart, here we come. Met up with niece Lindsay and had a lot of fun looking at different things. Lunch at Panera bread, where Cindy and I had never eaten. It was good while it lasted and without going into too much detail, it didn't last very long! The salads made it to St. Joe though!!! Between KC, St. Joe and Maryville, we did a little shopping and had a lot of fun just hanging out together. We definitely don't get to do this enough and just once, would love to get all of us sisters together for a night...a weekend...a week (I figure if I'm asking, I may as well ask for a miracle too)! We all would benefit from it immensely but what do I know??? I wish they would see how much we need this and to keep putting it off is going to make sure we never make time for it.
I drove around Bedford a little bit before heading home and I hate to say it but I get very sad being in town. It will never be the same place without my mom there and my heart gets so heavy with yearning to see her one more time or to hear her laugh just once more. I want to walk right into her apartment and see her sitting in her rocking chair, plucking her chin, watching the Nebraska Cornchuckers, talking on the phone and all at the same time, making another list of things she needs from the grocery store. I thought that heavy, sad feeling would eventually go away but it never has. I went straight to Gravity to the cemetery and the instant I saw my dad's name on the stone, I cried like I hadn't cried in years. Again, I needed his words; his wisdom; his shoulder; and I really, really needed his arms wrapped around me. I needed his direction and there was no way to get it and that hurt like nothing else.
When dad first died, the cemetery was the only place of solace for me but when mom died, I was never able to find it again. I think that once mom was with him, it wasn't "my place" anymore. It's funny how different situations in life makes your need for one parent so much greater than the other on different days. Don't get me wrong, I miss my mom so much; way too much; but on this day, at this time in my life, my dad was who I needed to get me through.
When I arrived at home, we had a visitor. Quintin was personally offered a job with the county and I was so happy for him...proud of him. He has made such great strides in his life and this is right along the lines of where he wants to be in his life. Which made my life decisions even harder now. The good wife knows you make compromises and you find a way to make it work. Sometimes, a person has to "hang on" while at the same time "let go." I'm trying to find this balance and make it work in our lives and be happy all at the same time.
I don't want to adult today.
In the words of Pink, "Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame. Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned. And just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die. You gotta get up and try, try, try."
That is exactly what I plan to do. TRY.
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