2017/09/10

I have to learn to vacation!!!

Well, today marks day 3 of my vacation and let me tell you, I'm already exhausted.  I can prepare myself for any kind of upcoming walk, hike,cardio exercise but when it comes to vacations, I am SO OUT OF SHAPE!!!  

On the first day of my much needed hiatus, I had my vehicle packed to the gills with donations for the Open Door Mission.  Early Friday morning, on my way to Corning, I receive a phone call from one of the night guys.  To save you the boredom of this long, drawn out story...he accidentally called me BUT didn't know he did it.  I say his phone was already missing our usual (albeit nighttime) vulgar and hilariously funny conversations.  I also told him if he goes the rest of the 9 days without talking to me, his phone may literally fall apart and die from withdrawal. As I hung up from talking to him, guess what I did!!  I accidentally dialed one of the local state troopers!!  Ugh, thankfully I caught it and disconnected before he answered me.  I'm sure he wouldn't have been too happy with an accidental call from me after he worked the night before!  I definitely need this vacation!!  

I picked up my partner-in-crime, Sister Kathy (she's not a nun but she may as well be) and away we went.  Carter Lake, Iowa bound!!  We had a much needed talk on the way and a few laughs as usual.  We had our usual gripes about interstate traffic and construction zones.  Nothing too out of the ordinary.  As we crossed the bridge going from Iowa into Nebraska, my sister looks to her right and says "There's that bridge I've always wanted to walk across."  Now, let me tell you something about the teller of this story here.  I have drove over these roads NUMEROUS times and have never once noticed this beautiful bridge to the right of me.  Apparently I concentrate too much on the road in front of me and the traffic around me.  I'm not sure which is more important right now because I am learning that as the driver...who NEVER gets to look around much in the cities...I am missing out on a crap-load of neatness!!!  Screw the traffic, I'm going to start looking around at all the stuffs!!!

We arrived at the mission and were met by this spunky gal who says "Are you here to drop off donations?"  With a nod of my head and a smile on my face, she says "Well, we are closed for remodeling."  You won't even believe the stuff that was going through my head.  ""Are you going to make me take this stuff back home?"  I was immediately scanning the city of Omaha in my head, for drop offs and donation centers.  "But don't worry, we have a temporary drop off center set up just a block down the street and to the right."  Thank you Jesus!  So we got the stuff dropped off and away we went.  

To the bridge of Bob!!!  Once we finally found the parking lot for this place, we started the trek with great anticipation.  I was actually shocked that Kathy wanted to do this because she isn't much of a bridge...hey, they are high in the air...kind of person.  Kind of like I'm not much of a clown...hey, they are creepy and ugly...kind of person.  We walked this beautiful bridge and had a great talk (again).  We may have peed a little when runners would come up behind us and not tell us they were going to pass.  RUDE!!!  Every time we jumped, we giggled.  If you have never walked this bridge, you should do it.  It is literally 0.9k (according to the sign) and if you complete it, well you are a marathoner!!!  SWEET!!!  There are also walking paths that stem off of each end of the bridge but we didn't do that.  Maybe another time.  For this time, we were just happy checking out the bridge and bobbing (yes, that's a thing)!

After our little walk, we headed to the Old Market and walked around a bit more.  Did a little shopping.  I feel sorry for the recipients of some of these things!!!  This was my very first trip into Tannenbaum's where I didn't make one purchase.  It was kinda sad but I just wasn't too thrilled with the thought of Christmas shopping.  I know, I know, I'm having a hard time believing it myself!!  We had lunch at the Twisted Fork, which is a nice place to eat.  Several options for healthy eating.  

Next, we headed over to see nephew Jake and his wonderful family.  They have the cutest white cotton ball...well it's actually a chinchilla, named Coconut that I fell in love with.  I was so afraid of squeezing him to death but alas, I did not hurt the little guy and he did not hurt me.  When I was finally done holding him, I had a perfect little cotton ball on my shirt.  He sheds as much as our little Eva does!  I have to add here that I couldn't be more thrilled that Jake and family are now living so close to us.  It is so nice that he is just a hop, skip, and a jump away.  Who knows how long he is going to be here so I am going to take advantage and try to see them whenever I can.  I couldn't love his wife and family any more.  They truly make my heart full.  I am so blessed to be a part of their lives.

The excitement of the day started for me at 0400 so by the time I got home, I thought I wouldn't make it from the car to the house.  But I did.  I told Quintin that I really wanted to go to the swap meet but I needed a little nap first.  He said that was fine because he was tired too!  Next thing I know, he is eating a plate of food and the house is dark.  Oops!  I guess the swap meet is out of the question!!  You know what that nap did for me?  It gave me the energy to go upstairs and climb into bed. Yep, I was done.  Fork stuck and all!!  Did I mention that I am out of vacation shape???

So, if you are like me...and I apologize if you are...you might be thinking "Well this isn't such a bad vacation after all!"  I will just add in day two for you.  

Late for my nail appointment because I had my husband (and Eva) in tow.  I don't think I've ever been on time for anything when he goes with me.  I mean, why get up when the alarm goes off and get to moving when you can procrastinate and do every single thing at the very last minute and forget stuffs and things.  Heaven help that man!

Got my nails all prettied up in support of the Iowa Hawkeyes and away we went to Marshalltown, for a wedding reception for one of my favorite people!!  We had so much fun and I got to see so many people that I hadn't seen in so long!  Luckily, the Hawkeyes pulled it off!  It wouldn't have really mattered who won because Iowa wins either way, but the rivalry is always the best part of it.  It was so fun to see all the people with Iowa and Iowa State shirts and how we all kidded with each other about who the winner would be.  It was a tight game; a good game.  Way to go Iowa!

Crystal, if you are reading this, thank you for allowing us to be a part of your special day.  We love you very much and are so happy for you, James and the girls!

We got home just in time for me to go out with my friend Justi.  We headed to Creston to Mario's.  About halfway down, I was thinking about sending a text (No, I was not driving) and realized I didn't even bring my phone!  Oh well, I can live without it!  Now, let me tell you something!  It is HARD these days to not check your phone...especially when the person you're with, is sitting across from you at a table, constantly checking theirs!  I was secretly hating on her the whole time!  So, we paid for our decent food and crappy service and headed out the door.  The whole time we are walking to her car, talking about her burnt out headlight and how she is probably going to be stopped for it. 

As we are heading out of town I said "There's a cop, just so you know.  You're probably going to get stopped."  She doesn't believe me and why, I don't know because it's not like I can't spot these things a mile away!!! I have a little experience with the po-po and the things they drive but whatever lady!  As we approach the vehicle waiting for us to pass by, she sees that familiar gold reflective stripe and the word "Sheriff" on the side.  "OH YOU WERE SERIOUS!!"  Lord, have mercy on my little simpleton friend here.  She doesn't know what even she thinks!!!  Luckily for her, he wasn't too interested in us and quickly turned off and out of site.  Don't get me wrong, I was wanting her to get stopped.  Yes, I'm evil like that.

Next stop, Orient, Iowa.  Pumpkin Days in full swing with a band playing.  Not a whole lot of people outside listening, which is sad.  It seems to get smaller every year, unfortunately.  There was supposed to be a beer garden but I think someone didn't get the memo about how the "garden" cant be the whole town.  It is supposed to be sectioned off and you aren't supposed to be able to just let people run around with open containers but they sure did all of that!  When I go to pumpkin days, I always wish they had the crowds that they used to have; the activities they used to have.  Like all good things, they are quickly coming to an end.  They need to bring back the mud volleyball.  I think I have some family members that would LOVE to get a team together for that!  I remember when I was a little girl and all the drunks would just be sitting on curbs or passed out in someone's yard.  Some of you may not think that's the best memory but I always got a kick out of it.  People are so funny...and so stupid when they are drunk.  Me included.  Look, I'm no better than anybody else!  I just tend to not do it too often for the sake of social media looking down the barrel and shooting me in the face!  

As we are getting ready to leave the snooze-fest, I suddenly thought about where my debit card was at.  I looked in my little pouch and it wasn't there. Not in that pocket, not in that one, nope, not there...or there!  Crap, I bet I left it at the restaurant!!!  Ugh!!! Justi says "You better call them and see if they are still open and we will go get it."  I almost throat punched her as she was driving just for saying that!  "Oh yeah, you can use my phone."  Isn't she just the greatest???  Guess what!  CLOSED!!!  UNTIL Monday!!!  SERIOUSLY PEOPLE???  

At this point,  I have no phone and no debit card and obviously no cash!  I AM NOT GOOD AT VACATIONING!!!   It seems that when I don't HAVE to remember a million things, I CAN'T remember one!!!  

We get back to Fontanelle and I told her to go by my house and I would grab my phone.  I ran inside and just left both front doors wide open and ran into the bathroom because well...I had to potty, okay!!!??  Without going into all the stinky details, I look around and there's no TP.  None.  Not even a single sheet.  So now panic starts to set in.  I have left my phone at home and that was fine.  I even left my debit card at the restaurant and I'm not freaking out about that.  But this...this wasn't a great situation to be in because nobody else was home with me and Justi was outside in her car!   To get to the nearest roll of toilet paper, I would have to cross my dining room to get to a closet.  The problem is that I couldn't pull my pants up because I had a dirty bum, okay???!!! AND I LEFT BOTH FRONT DOORS WIDE OPEN!!!  

Time for a pep talk.  "Here's the plan, Shellie..... run for it.  Just run across there with nothing on your bottom half, jump OVER the punching bag that is leaned up against the closet entry, and try not to land on or break the vacuum that is across from the punching bag.  And for god's sake lady, DON'T GET POOP ON ANYTHING IN THE PROCESS!!!  So, I take off like a lightning bolt out of the bathroom and as I LEAP into the air to long jump over the punching bag,I turn my head to the door and the inside door has closed!!!  It closed!!!  But wait, I'm still in the process of straddling myself over this bag and hoping not to wipe my ass on it!  Well, I got over it and nothing got mangled, broken, or "dirty" in the process; knocked over maybe but nobody and nothing got hurt!  I should probably try out for the Olympics!  

It wasn't until now...when I was typing this...almost a whole day later...that I realize I could have just called Justi to come inside and get the TP for me!!!  Oh well! 

At this point, I think carrying a 10 lb. pumpkin for a 5k race won't be as bad as I thought.  I slept really good last night in case you were wondering.  I think I'm frazzled out of my mind with forgetfulness and bad-luck preparedness.  It's exhausting.  Right up until 0400 when my internal clock says "IT'S TIME.  WE GOT THIS.  LET'S DO THIS."  And I don't even have anything planned!!!  Good luck to me and anybody else in my way for the next 7 days.  We are all going to need it.  Next time I take vacation, I'm going to practice for it!  








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