I have read and re-read this blog a couple of times and I can't figure out if it's a happy blog or a sad blog; or maybe I just needed to get it off my chest.
Well, vacation has been over for a couple of weeks now so I figured I may as well "end" the story. In all honesty, I thought I would be in a better place; both physically and emotionally. As we all know, life doesn't always give us exactly what we think we need when we think we need it. The answers aren't always right in front of us and we have to wait to see which door is closing and which door is opening.
I am finding out that my "safe place" and those that I trust, have all but disappeared. I am on a journey to find a new "safe place" and I think that whole trust thing can just be thrown out the window. I honestly believe that this person...me...can trust me and only me. My priorities and my problems have to remain with me and can no longer be shared with any one person. As you can see, I have done a lot of soul-searching on my time off and have really tried to evaluate what is in my heart. I'm getting there. As sad as what I have typed so far sounds, it is refreshing at the same time. I am moving on to the person that I need to be. And I won't be taking a whole lot of others on that journey with me.
Let's be honest, we are the only ones that know what we need...even when we don't know.
I am compiling the last three days of vacation in one blog for one reason. The last three days were full of laughter, compiled with thrills and drama, and I even stuffed in some edge-of-your-seat action and adventure!! Lies! All lies! Nothing like that happened...except the laughter. There was plenty of that so let's get to it!
Day Eight started out with me going to the doctor. Woohoo!!! Isn't that what we all look forward to on our vacation time? I think my vacation should have been labeled "catching up" because it's all I seemed to do. I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all! Anyway, for many weeks, I have had an issue with my right middle finger. As funny as that sounds, I couldn't straighten it without literally crying my eyes out. It started out as a need to pop the finger and I couldn't get it popped. The pain got worse and since I have this wonderful ulcer that I am trying to get healed, I can not take my beloved Aleve. Boo! Tylenol didn't fully did the trick of making the pain go away. I had tried everything over the weeks; ice, heat, ice-then-heat, popping (or trying to), and then finally we (the husband and I) just splinted it for a few days here and there to see how that would work.
Quintin swears he told me for two weeks that I needed to go to the doctor but I don't recall hearing those words come out of his mouth. Whatever. Irrelevant now because well, I finally ended up going. So, I splinted it for a couple of days and then the pain seemed to go away. So the splint came off. Every time I worked out or did exercise, this stupid pain came back in the same place! So, I would just live my life with my middle finger kept tucked down. I don't know what was more difficult; typing with a splint on or typing with no middle finger. It was definitely a challenge I wasn't liking.
Blah, blah, blah, so anyway, I was convinced by a friend that I had something called "trigger finger." And to treat this, they would simply cut a slit in the palm of my hand, cut out this little ball of scar tissue and then magically, my finger would straighten out and life would be grand! Well, after looking at the hand...and me threatening the doctor that if he straightened my finger I would throat kick him...doing some x-rays...he set me up with a hand specialist/surgeon for the following Monday. "Just take some Tylenol when it hurts." There isn't enough Tylenol on earth, doc! I went home and put a splint back on the finger and decided it was going to stay on until the appointment with the specialist.
The rest of this day spent taking it easy; laying on the couch trying to come up with something good and healthy to take to our family reunion the next day, playing catch up with the laundry, and keeping my kitchen clean. Apparently my dear husband hasn't figured out that when I'm not home, he is literally the only other one in the house so nobody just appears and cleans up after him. I'm not sure if I need to video the empty house to prove to him that "I AM THAT MAGIC EIGHT BALL" that sees all! I see that you can't pick up your socks. I see that you don't know how to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher (or God forbid wash them yourself). I see that you know how to start a load of laundry but you haven't figured out that they need to make their way into the dryer in a timely manner. I also see all that hair that precious Eva leaves, laying around on floor. Use a vacuum, dude, seriously!
Yeah...that's how day eight went. That's probably the edge-of-your-seat stuff that I may have been sarcastically talking about up above. -_- I ended my day with a trip to the grocery story...and many of you know how much I HATE that chore. I would rather brush my eyeballs.
Day Nine rolls around and I gather my layer salad and head to Corning to pick up my two partners in crime, Kathy and Jackie. We headed to Bedford and hung out with Cindy, Dan, Jeremy, Erin & the kids for a while before heading out to the family reunion. I'm not going to lie about this for one second (because if I did, there would be too many people out there calling me out) but I was very anxious about this reunion because I hadn't been in so many years simply because I thought I didn't like these people and I was convinced they didn't like me either! Yep, a family reunion. Any other time I would have just said "Not going!" and been done with it but this year, I felt very strongly about being there. I felt that I HAD to go and I didn't know why. And it was a terrifying feeling.
So here's how that went. Showed up at the family reunion and had the best time EVER! Ummm, I want a do-over for the past reunions I was so stupid to avoid. I had a freaking blast! Cousins, siblings, laughter, hugs, love, and enough food to go around a few times. I honestly could have stayed another several hours! I wish there was a way that EVERYONE could be there on the same day. Maybe a camp out next time!!! Perfect host/hostess, perfect place for the get-together. I can't thank them enough for the good time I had.
This night was spent hanging clothes and getting a game plan for the next day. It was the last day of vacation/catching up and there was one place I needed to be that I hadn't been in quite some time. Do you have a junk drawer? Most people have a junk drawer, right? Well I don't keep a junk drawer in my house! Well, I didn't used to. I had a junk room! And it drove me crazy! I may re-think that idea of a junk drawer though. (I have actually already started on it)
So Day 10 was all about the junk room. I had a bunch of totes in there and they were just everywhere. I had been through them, picking and choosing what I could give to the mission a week before and deciding what really needed to be thrown away and what I needed to keep. I'm slowly trying to minimize the "crap" in our home. And I have to do it slowly because if my husband notices that stuff is starting to go away too fast, he will find some other junk to replace it with. And let's be honest here folks...he is getting ready to start a job at the county landfill...it is literally trash...so that's a whole new book of headaches for me to learn to deal with! I may have to incorporate a new policy at our house "Must be approved by the boss!" And we all know who the boss is. As my husband so eloquently says "I wear the pants in the family...she just tells me which ones to wear!" When that room was finished, we did some re-arranging in our bedroom. Nothing major because...well, you know! But we got a lot of things accomplished that day and nobody got hurt, maimed, or killed.
Life is good. Not great. Nowhere near perfect. But it is good and I can take good for now. Until I see which doors are closing and which doors are opening.
**Fast forward to Monday - I woke up and had no pain whatsoever, in my finger. No breaks, no fractures, nothing he could do for me. I could have told him that. He did however, tell me that I fixed whatever was wrong with my finger by splinting it so if the problem arises again, I know what to do. Geez, stop being a baby, Shellie!**
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