So.....Gee and I have been searching for recipes all night. Not just any recipes either. Recipes that we love. Recipes that stick in our hearts long after the cooking baking season is past. And yes...it does pass. Some of us just tend to overlook that fact.
We have decided on 27 recipes...so far. Lord knows that could grow at any waking moment! We have everything from all types of cookies... to almond bark pretzels... to cupcakes... to bars... to mini loaves of homemade bread... to pastries.
It took a couple of hours to get the 22 recipes sorted that we had printed and available to us. Now to get the other five tomorrow. That's going to be my side job at work. I'm going to lug some cookbooks in with me and study. Who knows what else I will end up adding to my treasure trove of goodie plates!!
I'm so excited. Can you tell I'm excited? I about can't stand myself. And it isn't because I don't shower. Because I do shower. I promise. Just ask my dog. He loves to shower with us so he knows.
Anyway.....................................
Keep in mind I still have some recipes to add to my list. Which means I still have to add how many ingredients I am going to need. Which means........you're not going to believe this. Just reading it makes me smile. I'm about to prove to you just how strange I really am. To the naked eye, this looks like $$$. To me however, this looks like the best Autumn of my life so far.
51 cups of butter
125 eggs
150 cups of flour
15 cups of coconut
58 cups of oatmeal
50 cups of peanut butter
75 cups of granulated sugar
36 cups of brown sugar
174 ounces of chocolate chips
13 cups of confectioners sugar
6 cups of pumpkin
14.5 cups of shortening
13 cups of raisins
17.5 cups of macadamia nuts
60 ounces of white chocolate chips
18 cups of Special K
I could go on and on all day. Ethel I think we're gonna need a bigger mixer!!
This year I will be putting my kitchen-aid to the task. I think I will invest in about 6 of those cheapo hand mixers too...to help lighten the load of mixing the basics together. Sam is going to love me this year!!
I haven't really had the turn-out that I had intended. I am really surprised more people don't want to send a goodie plate to someone; anyone. I keep telling people..."It can be to anyone of your choosing. For whatever reason you choose." There is no right or wrong here folks.
Do you know someone who has had a tough year financially and think they need a extra sweet smile on their face? Do you know someone who has lost a loved one and could use a little pick-me-up? Do you know someone that is just "one of those awesome people" that deserve a treat just for "being them?" How about a city council that you want to thank for doing a good job? I can do that, ya know. I can have it delivered right to a meeting!
Teachers, principals, superintendents, pastors, bus drivers, officers of the law, babysitters, accountants, lawyers, garbage men, mail men, aunts, uncles, cousin, parents.....I could go on all day here people.
Someone YOU know deserves a treat. It's true. Don't make me beg! And you can have it sent anonymously or have your name added to the card. Either way it's a WIN-WIN!!
I promised Gee I would make this short. He's already asleep in his chair. He and the dog keeping each other warm because we are NOT turning any heat on yet!!
I just wanted to keep you all posted on what was going on with "Operation Cookies" and "My Gift." To the ones that have donated.....I can't thank you enough. It means so much to know that there are so many awesome people out there willing to give and help one another.
So far, I have 12 different towns to deliver to. And I get to see a lot of people. Some I don't even know! I can't wait!!!
And now, I will close with just one more simple list. The goodie list. Have a great night and keep reading!!!
Chocolate Bark Pretzels
White Bark Pretzels
Snow on the Mountain cookies
Snickerdoodle cookies
Peanut Blossoms cookies
Peanut Butter cookies
Chocolate Chip cookies
Sugar Cut-Out cookies
Regular Sugar Cookies
Orange Slice cookies
No bake cookies
O'Henry bars
Rice Krispie treats
Mini Cini's
Banana Bread
Oatmeal cookies
Oatmeal Raisin cookies
Monster cookies
Pumpkin bars
Macadamia nut/white chocolate chip cookies
Cherry bars
Cupcakes
Puppy Chow
Homemade bread
Ranger cookies
Jumbo oatmeal peanut butter cookies
Phew! That makes me want to go to bed! A lot of work ahead of us but we are very excited to do it! I love making people smile!! Until next time!!!
2012/09/22
2012/09/16
Insert guest speaker here
Hi everyone! This is Gee, husband to Amelia. My wonderful wife worked all day today and came home and dutifully started cleaning the house and is now fixing dinner for us. While she is in the kitchen, busy doing what she does best...I am going to sneak a story in. My story.
When I was growing up, there was always a lot of yelling, pushing, shoving, name calling that went on. As far as I knew, it was normal and probably most homes dealt with the same things that I did. My parents got a divorce finally. That was probably for the best, considering the drinking and fighting that could be counted on. I remember the day my dad moved out of our family home. I was so mad. Mad at the world.
I got a lot of spankings growing up. I guess I was a hard kid to handle. Sometimes I think I was punished too harshly but hey, what kid didn't think that, huh? If I wasn't being spanked with someone's hand, I was being hit with baling straps. Those hurt like a son of a bitch, let me tell you. Once I peed my pants while playing in the sandbox and my mom beat my ass. You'd have thought I beat the shit out of the neighbor kid or something. I was a kid. I had a small bladder. Sue me.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and that appeared to be a challenge for both of my parents. At 9 years old, I was put into a children's psych hospital because my parents were tired of trying to control me. My mom would say I was too much for her to handle so she would send me off to my dad's house. When he got tired of dealing with me, he would send me back to mom.
Eventually I guess they got tired of the hassle of it all. I spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals. I was probably around 12 years old the last time my mom came to visit me. She had given up on me and no longer had a son. My dad came to see me (maybe) once a year.
But my grandparents came to see me. They have always been my biggest support and have always shown me unconditional love. I don't know where I would be without them to this day.
Don't get me wrong. I have good memories too. I remember painting a fence with my dad and feeling close to him. Feeling like I was really accomplishing something by his side. Once, he let me ride along while he delivered diesel fuel. I remember how fun it was riding in that gas truck. Even today, when I am driving down certain roads, I remember stopping to fill someone's tank with him. Sometimes it even brings a smile to my face.
Being in an institution though made for bad things to follow. I had no role models to teach me social skills. I had staff that told me what they thought I wanted to hear or else they told me some complete opposites. I never really learned how to make friends. Most of you might think that's a pretty easy thing to do but it isn't. It is learned behavior, trust me. Because of this upbringing, I learned to be a loner. Depending on nobody but myself when the time came.
To this day, I still have ADD. I guess getting older takes the hyper out of a person.
At 19 years old, I was finally able to go out into the world and see what I could do for myself. How I could support myself. Going from one program to another, learning how to get a job, pay my bills and be on my own. My very first jobs were mowing yards and helping anyone out that wanted my help. I was the odd-job specialist.
When I was 22 years old I became a father for the first time. When I saw my little baby girl for the very first time, I knew joy... maybe for the first time in my life. I was proud of myself for being part of something so wonderful, so gorgeous. I loved cuddling with her. She slept on my chest for hours at a time. I didn't ever want to let go of her. I didn't sleep the first week after she was born because I was afraid of SIDS getting to my little sweetheart. I had heard too many bad stories and didn't want that to happen to my baby. I would just listen to her breathe.
2 years later, I became a father again. This time to a little man. Everybody says he looked just like me. I guess he did. And does. I felt like I had finally gotten the family that I always wanted. I had a woman in my life that I thought I wanted and my life was finally coming together. My circle had been started and completed. He was a good baby. Very quiet and passive. I slept with him a lot too. I wanted nothing more than to protect my family.
Moving on about 2 more years, the mother of my children decided she no longer wanted the responsibilities of being a mother or a wife. Even though she wasn't my wife, she may as well have been. I mean, we did have children together. We were faithful to one another. We lived under the same roof. Slept in the same bed. The only difference between a married couple and us, was that marriage certificate.
She never once cleaned the house. While I was out making ends meet, by scrapping junked vehicles, or working on vehicles for other people, working as a hired hand, doing whatever I had to do to put food on our table, she was running around, spending money or sitting around watching tv. She had no desire to clean and no desire to work.
I honestly thought, even though we lived in a house that was in the middle of badly needed repair, needed cleaned up or wasn't up to some people's standards, I felt like my life was so much better than it had EVER been. I knew it was under control but just like that... I lost it all.
My kids were ripped from our home and I was told that their mother wanted nothing to do with them. Department of Human Services came to our house and stole my children from me. In the name of the law. You can't imagine how much it hurts when I see someone live in filth, yet have their kids by their side. It isn't right and it isn't fair. I may not be the smartest man on the face of this earth but I love my kids more than any words can say. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for them. To this day.
That's why I sit here and wait. I go to my job. I do what I have to do. And wait. Because someday I plan on seeing them again. At their discretion. And that day will probably be the best day of my life.
At a time when I was getting my life back in order; back to some normalcy; SHE walked into my life. And she needed her car fixed. So after work one day, I went to my friends' house, where she was, to try to fix this car and my friend introduced me to this gal. I looked at my friend and told her that I thought her friend was kinda stuck up. I was shy and she made me nervous. She didn't have a shy bone in her body. This gal tried, time and again, to "make a play" for me, or so she says, but I couldn't get over the fact that someone like "her" would even consider someone like "me." "What does she see in me?"
I played hard-to-get. She would find reasons to come to my apartment and I didn't know what I was supposed to do. The first couple of times, I met her at the door and took what she brought over, thanked her and closed the door. Little did I know, I was shutting it on her heart the whole entire time. One day she grabbed me, right there in her friends' front yard, and planted a big ole kiss on me. I didn't know what to think. Except that I wanted some more of that!
Finally we went out on a date. I took her to the races. We had a good time. We did everything together. We would go fishing till the wee hours of the morning and came home long enough to take a nap and get right back up to go to work. We laughed at each other. We laughed at life.
I ended up buying a house. I let her pick it out though. I wanted her to have everything she wanted. And she picked out a really nice house too. I was so excited to be a homeowner and so excited to have her beside me on this new journey. I had never had any one person, place so much faith in me like she has. She is constantly telling me what I can do...or sometimes where I can go...even when I tell her I can't.
I love you dear. I hope we have many years together to laugh, as we always have; to have fun, as we always do; and to fight, because we are so good at it. I hope some day you can feel the power of my love and the importance of you in my life.
When I was growing up, there was always a lot of yelling, pushing, shoving, name calling that went on. As far as I knew, it was normal and probably most homes dealt with the same things that I did. My parents got a divorce finally. That was probably for the best, considering the drinking and fighting that could be counted on. I remember the day my dad moved out of our family home. I was so mad. Mad at the world.
I got a lot of spankings growing up. I guess I was a hard kid to handle. Sometimes I think I was punished too harshly but hey, what kid didn't think that, huh? If I wasn't being spanked with someone's hand, I was being hit with baling straps. Those hurt like a son of a bitch, let me tell you. Once I peed my pants while playing in the sandbox and my mom beat my ass. You'd have thought I beat the shit out of the neighbor kid or something. I was a kid. I had a small bladder. Sue me.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and that appeared to be a challenge for both of my parents. At 9 years old, I was put into a children's psych hospital because my parents were tired of trying to control me. My mom would say I was too much for her to handle so she would send me off to my dad's house. When he got tired of dealing with me, he would send me back to mom.
Eventually I guess they got tired of the hassle of it all. I spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals. I was probably around 12 years old the last time my mom came to visit me. She had given up on me and no longer had a son. My dad came to see me (maybe) once a year.
But my grandparents came to see me. They have always been my biggest support and have always shown me unconditional love. I don't know where I would be without them to this day.
Don't get me wrong. I have good memories too. I remember painting a fence with my dad and feeling close to him. Feeling like I was really accomplishing something by his side. Once, he let me ride along while he delivered diesel fuel. I remember how fun it was riding in that gas truck. Even today, when I am driving down certain roads, I remember stopping to fill someone's tank with him. Sometimes it even brings a smile to my face.
Being in an institution though made for bad things to follow. I had no role models to teach me social skills. I had staff that told me what they thought I wanted to hear or else they told me some complete opposites. I never really learned how to make friends. Most of you might think that's a pretty easy thing to do but it isn't. It is learned behavior, trust me. Because of this upbringing, I learned to be a loner. Depending on nobody but myself when the time came.
To this day, I still have ADD. I guess getting older takes the hyper out of a person.
At 19 years old, I was finally able to go out into the world and see what I could do for myself. How I could support myself. Going from one program to another, learning how to get a job, pay my bills and be on my own. My very first jobs were mowing yards and helping anyone out that wanted my help. I was the odd-job specialist.
When I was 22 years old I became a father for the first time. When I saw my little baby girl for the very first time, I knew joy... maybe for the first time in my life. I was proud of myself for being part of something so wonderful, so gorgeous. I loved cuddling with her. She slept on my chest for hours at a time. I didn't ever want to let go of her. I didn't sleep the first week after she was born because I was afraid of SIDS getting to my little sweetheart. I had heard too many bad stories and didn't want that to happen to my baby. I would just listen to her breathe.
2 years later, I became a father again. This time to a little man. Everybody says he looked just like me. I guess he did. And does. I felt like I had finally gotten the family that I always wanted. I had a woman in my life that I thought I wanted and my life was finally coming together. My circle had been started and completed. He was a good baby. Very quiet and passive. I slept with him a lot too. I wanted nothing more than to protect my family.
Moving on about 2 more years, the mother of my children decided she no longer wanted the responsibilities of being a mother or a wife. Even though she wasn't my wife, she may as well have been. I mean, we did have children together. We were faithful to one another. We lived under the same roof. Slept in the same bed. The only difference between a married couple and us, was that marriage certificate.
She never once cleaned the house. While I was out making ends meet, by scrapping junked vehicles, or working on vehicles for other people, working as a hired hand, doing whatever I had to do to put food on our table, she was running around, spending money or sitting around watching tv. She had no desire to clean and no desire to work.
I honestly thought, even though we lived in a house that was in the middle of badly needed repair, needed cleaned up or wasn't up to some people's standards, I felt like my life was so much better than it had EVER been. I knew it was under control but just like that... I lost it all.
My kids were ripped from our home and I was told that their mother wanted nothing to do with them. Department of Human Services came to our house and stole my children from me. In the name of the law. You can't imagine how much it hurts when I see someone live in filth, yet have their kids by their side. It isn't right and it isn't fair. I may not be the smartest man on the face of this earth but I love my kids more than any words can say. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for them. To this day.
That's why I sit here and wait. I go to my job. I do what I have to do. And wait. Because someday I plan on seeing them again. At their discretion. And that day will probably be the best day of my life.
At a time when I was getting my life back in order; back to some normalcy; SHE walked into my life. And she needed her car fixed. So after work one day, I went to my friends' house, where she was, to try to fix this car and my friend introduced me to this gal. I looked at my friend and told her that I thought her friend was kinda stuck up. I was shy and she made me nervous. She didn't have a shy bone in her body. This gal tried, time and again, to "make a play" for me, or so she says, but I couldn't get over the fact that someone like "her" would even consider someone like "me." "What does she see in me?"
I played hard-to-get. She would find reasons to come to my apartment and I didn't know what I was supposed to do. The first couple of times, I met her at the door and took what she brought over, thanked her and closed the door. Little did I know, I was shutting it on her heart the whole entire time. One day she grabbed me, right there in her friends' front yard, and planted a big ole kiss on me. I didn't know what to think. Except that I wanted some more of that!
Finally we went out on a date. I took her to the races. We had a good time. We did everything together. We would go fishing till the wee hours of the morning and came home long enough to take a nap and get right back up to go to work. We laughed at each other. We laughed at life.
I ended up buying a house. I let her pick it out though. I wanted her to have everything she wanted. And she picked out a really nice house too. I was so excited to be a homeowner and so excited to have her beside me on this new journey. I had never had any one person, place so much faith in me like she has. She is constantly telling me what I can do...or sometimes where I can go...even when I tell her I can't.
I love you dear. I hope we have many years together to laugh, as we always have; to have fun, as we always do; and to fight, because we are so good at it. I hope some day you can feel the power of my love and the importance of you in my life.
2012/09/13
My gift
Well well well.....guess what? This is my one hundredth blog post! It has taken me just a few days over six months to get to a hundred. I wonder if I will have two hundred by March of next year? Can't wait to find out.
I hope you have been enjoying everything I have been blabbing...I mean blogging about. I have loved doing this. I hope I never stop. Anyhow...let's get on with this. I have something very important to tell you and I need your help. Yes you.
Gee and I talked for a long time about what this blog should be about. I wanted it to be memorable and he wanted it to be fun. I don't know if I can get both of those in on the same project or not. Let me think about it. I will get back to you. Okay I am back. I thought about it. I can do it. Yes...it took me THAT LONG to think about it!!!
I am going to start a project and I am going to ask for my readers to help me do it. Project "My Gift" will begin on September 28th, 2012 and end on December 28th, 2012. You all know that I love to bake and make goodies in my spare time so this should be a no-brainer for me. It will take me until September 28th to determine exactly how many goodies and which goodies I am going to make, what ingredients I am going to have to purchase, etc. That is the day that the baking (and freezing) will begin.
For Project "My Gift," I will take the name of a person/family/business/organization and make a goodie tray for them, deliver it to them with a hand written note explaining what I am doing and why. All deliveries will be made after Thanksgiving.
Now...here's where YOU come in. I want you to send me an email...a private message...a text or phone call if you have my info...and tell me WHO you want me to take a goodie tray to, WHY you want them to have a goodie tray and any delivery info you may have. Your name will not be included on the note unless you specify different. And it will cost you nothing.
Most of you know where I live and those of you that don't, you can simply email me and ask me. I am willing to drive up to one hundred miles and all deliveries will be made on the dates of my choosing since the gas money comes out of my pocket as well.
I want this to be big. I want this to be fun. I want this to be memorable. For me, if not for everybody else involved. I want to give to those that have a hard time during the holidays. I want to put a smile on other people's faces. Please help me!!!
You can leave a comment on this blog with your email info if you want me to contact you or you can contact me at in_boos_world@hotmail.com or on facebook, if you know me.
I am very excited to do this. Please help me! All it takes is a little compassion in your heart and a quick note to me with the details! I will be anxiously awaiting your responses!!
I hope you have been enjoying everything I have been blabbing...I mean blogging about. I have loved doing this. I hope I never stop. Anyhow...let's get on with this. I have something very important to tell you and I need your help. Yes you.
Gee and I talked for a long time about what this blog should be about. I wanted it to be memorable and he wanted it to be fun. I don't know if I can get both of those in on the same project or not. Let me think about it. I will get back to you. Okay I am back. I thought about it. I can do it. Yes...it took me THAT LONG to think about it!!!
I am going to start a project and I am going to ask for my readers to help me do it. Project "My Gift" will begin on September 28th, 2012 and end on December 28th, 2012. You all know that I love to bake and make goodies in my spare time so this should be a no-brainer for me. It will take me until September 28th to determine exactly how many goodies and which goodies I am going to make, what ingredients I am going to have to purchase, etc. That is the day that the baking (and freezing) will begin.
For Project "My Gift," I will take the name of a person/family/business/organization and make a goodie tray for them, deliver it to them with a hand written note explaining what I am doing and why. All deliveries will be made after Thanksgiving.
Now...here's where YOU come in. I want you to send me an email...a private message...a text or phone call if you have my info...and tell me WHO you want me to take a goodie tray to, WHY you want them to have a goodie tray and any delivery info you may have. Your name will not be included on the note unless you specify different. And it will cost you nothing.
Most of you know where I live and those of you that don't, you can simply email me and ask me. I am willing to drive up to one hundred miles and all deliveries will be made on the dates of my choosing since the gas money comes out of my pocket as well.
I want this to be big. I want this to be fun. I want this to be memorable. For me, if not for everybody else involved. I want to give to those that have a hard time during the holidays. I want to put a smile on other people's faces. Please help me!!!
You can leave a comment on this blog with your email info if you want me to contact you or you can contact me at in_boos_world@hotmail.com or on facebook, if you know me.
I am very excited to do this. Please help me! All it takes is a little compassion in your heart and a quick note to me with the details! I will be anxiously awaiting your responses!!
2012/09/10
The Staycation: Part 3
So.....where did I leave off? Oh I remember! Bertha pooped out on her friends. She left us high and dry and didn't even care that we had more fun in store. But then again...I should have expected it! She IS just a little higher...hahaha...and mightier...than the rest of us! Or at least we let her THINK she is! Bertha left us. We will forget about her now. She is history.
We came back around to my house and Kate brought husband Cris along and we ate lunch and then the guys went out to the country to practice their marksmanship while Kate and I went to run some errands and pick up some more people down in C-town. Matilda had went home to pick up Jeannie so we had time to kill.
Pick people up, head to the grocery store and head back to the house. The guys are back when we get home and everybody is ready to get things started. Matilda and Jeannie show up and soon after, Lulu arrives. Yes! More people!! Love this!
The adult beverages come out of the woodwork as we all head outside to the slip-n-slides. Oh...if I could only share the pictures on here! I have them on my facebook wall and they are hilarious! We ended up using the rest of my dish soap to "slicken" the things up and when we ran out of that, we used fabric softener. We smelled good, looked horrible and laughed our asses off!
Every time we had a race, the loser had to "bob" for something of the winner's choosing. Yes...I bobbed several times. I am a pro at it now!! There were water fights. At one point, Mick tried to kill me by picking my legs up and trying to bend them behind my head. For a fat girl, I can get out of tight situations pretty good! -_-
Time for showers. We were cold. We were wet. And we were dripping with fabric softener and booze. What a great time! I wish Gee would do that with me every weekend! HA! Four of us girls ran into the bathroom, stripped down and took showers. I said showers. Plural. We took separate showers. You pervert! When we were all clean and showered, I grabbed a can of silly string, stuck it in my pocket and then distributed the other three to Lulu, Kate and Matilda. Armed with that and sidewalk chalk, we all took a walk up town.
Someone took that sidewalk chalk and wrote...in big letters...STAYCATION! That was nice of them. Those nice people!! I think there are several people in my little town that wished they had joined us that weekend!!
Out of nowhere, us girls break out the silly string and we go after everyone else! It was mass chaos at the corner of Yuck and Fou! I think Mick got the most string sprayed at him. I hope he took that as a term of endearment. He obviously was the favored one. With what was left of the sidewalk chalk, our shirts all got decorated so into the park we go. Our little gang of misfits. Some going down slides. Some hanging by their toenails on the monkey bar thingy. We ended up in the gazebo doing the "hokey pokey."
What a sight we had to have been! I wish someone would have taped us that day! Back to the house we go. We played another game of "What the F***!" and then Gee grilled out for us. As we were playing, friend Dirk just kept getting drunker and drunker. Apparently Dirk isn't very good at being drunk because he lost touch with reality and the correct way to interact with other human beings. Girlfriend Dona wasn't a whole lot better. She knew exactly how to push his buttons so before we could even get to the backyard to the bonfire, they were in the front yard going at it like kindergartners.
Luckily they had someone en route to pick them up because after that little episode, neither of them were very welcome to stay the night. I think that will be the last party I hold that those two will be able to join in! So they left and the bonfire went on as planned.
We wanted to play truth or dare but I think we were all so tired that truth was the easiest way to go. We kinda petered out on that as well. Mick was the only one willing to do a dare and nobody could come up with a good dare anyway! Don't worry Mick, I already have some dares ready for next year!!
This night wasn't near as late as the first night although I couldn't tell you what time we ended up getting to sleep. I remember being so dog tired that I didn't care where I slept or who it was with. On one side of me I had Lulu. We were sharing an air mattress. On the other side of me I had Mick. On his own mattress but I warned him that if Lulu made one wrong move in the night, I felt like I was going to bounce over on top of him.
Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. You will never know, will you? -_- See Mick, your wife should have come with you!!! The next morning, Kate was in charge of breakfast and that was just swell. I got to sleep an extra fifteen minutes that I wouldn't have if I had to cook. She wasn't sleeping anyway. She never does. I'm glad she cooked. Because she cleans up after herself. And that my friend, was the best reward.
Everybody got their stuff around and got the hell out. Phew! Thank goodness! I now own two extra lawn chairs, a koozie, and a pair of black bootie socks. I love coming out ahead! -_-
Keep in mind we are doing this next year. At Matilda's house. And someone else will be putting together the scavenger hunt for us so it will be more fair that we don't know ahead of time what we have to do. If you want on the V.I.P. list, let me know. And don't say you're only staying one night because your child is coming home from college. The child you just saw five days prior. Don't say that. You'll get blacklisted. Fast. You have a year to get a babysitter lined up. A year to hoard adult beverages. A year to get your slip slidable!
See you next year party dawgs!!!
We came back around to my house and Kate brought husband Cris along and we ate lunch and then the guys went out to the country to practice their marksmanship while Kate and I went to run some errands and pick up some more people down in C-town. Matilda had went home to pick up Jeannie so we had time to kill.
Pick people up, head to the grocery store and head back to the house. The guys are back when we get home and everybody is ready to get things started. Matilda and Jeannie show up and soon after, Lulu arrives. Yes! More people!! Love this!
The adult beverages come out of the woodwork as we all head outside to the slip-n-slides. Oh...if I could only share the pictures on here! I have them on my facebook wall and they are hilarious! We ended up using the rest of my dish soap to "slicken" the things up and when we ran out of that, we used fabric softener. We smelled good, looked horrible and laughed our asses off!
Every time we had a race, the loser had to "bob" for something of the winner's choosing. Yes...I bobbed several times. I am a pro at it now!! There were water fights. At one point, Mick tried to kill me by picking my legs up and trying to bend them behind my head. For a fat girl, I can get out of tight situations pretty good! -_-
Time for showers. We were cold. We were wet. And we were dripping with fabric softener and booze. What a great time! I wish Gee would do that with me every weekend! HA! Four of us girls ran into the bathroom, stripped down and took showers. I said showers. Plural. We took separate showers. You pervert! When we were all clean and showered, I grabbed a can of silly string, stuck it in my pocket and then distributed the other three to Lulu, Kate and Matilda. Armed with that and sidewalk chalk, we all took a walk up town.
Someone took that sidewalk chalk and wrote...in big letters...STAYCATION! That was nice of them. Those nice people!! I think there are several people in my little town that wished they had joined us that weekend!!
Out of nowhere, us girls break out the silly string and we go after everyone else! It was mass chaos at the corner of Yuck and Fou! I think Mick got the most string sprayed at him. I hope he took that as a term of endearment. He obviously was the favored one. With what was left of the sidewalk chalk, our shirts all got decorated so into the park we go. Our little gang of misfits. Some going down slides. Some hanging by their toenails on the monkey bar thingy. We ended up in the gazebo doing the "hokey pokey."
What a sight we had to have been! I wish someone would have taped us that day! Back to the house we go. We played another game of "What the F***!" and then Gee grilled out for us. As we were playing, friend Dirk just kept getting drunker and drunker. Apparently Dirk isn't very good at being drunk because he lost touch with reality and the correct way to interact with other human beings. Girlfriend Dona wasn't a whole lot better. She knew exactly how to push his buttons so before we could even get to the backyard to the bonfire, they were in the front yard going at it like kindergartners.
Luckily they had someone en route to pick them up because after that little episode, neither of them were very welcome to stay the night. I think that will be the last party I hold that those two will be able to join in! So they left and the bonfire went on as planned.
We wanted to play truth or dare but I think we were all so tired that truth was the easiest way to go. We kinda petered out on that as well. Mick was the only one willing to do a dare and nobody could come up with a good dare anyway! Don't worry Mick, I already have some dares ready for next year!!
This night wasn't near as late as the first night although I couldn't tell you what time we ended up getting to sleep. I remember being so dog tired that I didn't care where I slept or who it was with. On one side of me I had Lulu. We were sharing an air mattress. On the other side of me I had Mick. On his own mattress but I warned him that if Lulu made one wrong move in the night, I felt like I was going to bounce over on top of him.
Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. You will never know, will you? -_- See Mick, your wife should have come with you!!! The next morning, Kate was in charge of breakfast and that was just swell. I got to sleep an extra fifteen minutes that I wouldn't have if I had to cook. She wasn't sleeping anyway. She never does. I'm glad she cooked. Because she cleans up after herself. And that my friend, was the best reward.
Everybody got their stuff around and got the hell out. Phew! Thank goodness! I now own two extra lawn chairs, a koozie, and a pair of black bootie socks. I love coming out ahead! -_-
Keep in mind we are doing this next year. At Matilda's house. And someone else will be putting together the scavenger hunt for us so it will be more fair that we don't know ahead of time what we have to do. If you want on the V.I.P. list, let me know. And don't say you're only staying one night because your child is coming home from college. The child you just saw five days prior. Don't say that. You'll get blacklisted. Fast. You have a year to get a babysitter lined up. A year to hoard adult beverages. A year to get your slip slidable!
See you next year party dawgs!!!
2012/09/09
The Staycation: Part 2
I believe I left off on the last blog with the "finish the sentence" game. That one got a little wild. And I have to be honest here. I don't remember just exactly HOW all the stories started or ended. Let me see how good my memory is here.
Me: When I think of toilet paper, I think.....
Mick: of Hy-Vee...........
Bertha: because Hy-Vee toilet paper always gets stuck up in my cooter.....
and you can see how this went in the toilet fast. -_- I am so stuck on the toilet paper getting stuck in a cooter, I have completely lost as to how the story ended.
But you can see what we were doing. Passing the story on to the next person.
Me: Although most people disagree.....
Gee: my penis is tiny.....
That one caught EVERYONE off guard and it took some kind of twist and turn I don't WANT to remember! There was one in particular that stands out. I can't go into particulars on this one. You had to be there to know how it ended. And let me tell you this; it ended very very juicy.
Me: One time I farted while I.....
Bertha: **#%$*())_@#$%##@@%()*(*#($%*$%
I think someone passed out at what came out of her mouth. Someone blushed. Someone vomited. And some just sat there and tried to think of death. I. Am. Moving. On.
Back to the house we go. Sat around the kitchen table because nobody wanted to be the first to go to sleep. Bertha had promised whoever fell asleep first was getting a bra put in the sink and then the deep freeze. Mick should have went to sleep first. His bra should have been safe. Bertha was trying to scare Matilda from going to sleep by saying Matilda would get a Brazillian Wax job. The thought of it made me want to stay up all night.
Don't get me wrong. I've had the Brazillian thing done. Just not by any good friends. They don't have any business down there. The thought gives me hives. We gotta move on here.
We finally all gave in around 0330 hrs. and I slept upstairs with Gee and the dog. I would give any amount of money to bet that I was the first one asleep. Well.....after Gee and the dog. Because they went to bed around midnight. Lightweights. I made sure they weren't getting my bra though. I hid it. And slept naked. That kept them away ALL night!!!
My alarm was supposed to go off at 0730 so I could get up and start breakfast. It didn't go off. I woke up at 0745 and headed downstairs. Made biscuits and gravy, breakfast casserole, and pancakes. Everyone got fed, dressed and we headed out on the town. Just to clarify...I didn't cook naked. I got dressed first.
Matilda and Mick were team 1. Bertha and myself were team 2. Here's the list of things we had to do. And we only had an hour to do them.
1- A member of your team kissing livestock (Team 1 kissed a horsey at the park. Really??? It wasn't even a real horse. It was a park toy. Team 2...well the photographer laughed her ass off while the brave one...and I mean brave...jumped a fence and quietly chased a herd of sheep until she could get close enough to kiss one...on the side...without pissing herself)
2- Your team pumping gas for and washing the windshield of a patron at a gas station (Team 1 was creative. I will give them that. They did 3 things at once. Team 2...well they had more FUN with this game. One pumped gasoline for a guy and the other cleaned his windshield for him)
3- Someone on your team giving a massage to someone they don’t know (Team 1 did this while pumping gas. Team 2 actually went into a business...that neither of them had ever stepped foot in before...and one member gave a massage while the other sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to them. Both team members were supposed to sing BUT I think the one giving the massage was really getting into touching her new lady friend)
4- Your team at a cemetery with a “famous name” or “famous character” on their tombstone (BOTH teams picked the name Armstrong. How funny was that??? I know that team 2 picked that name to honor the late Neil Armstrong that recently passed away. I think team 1 picked it simply because they couldn't find any other name. Either way...the thing that was awesome about it...well to me anyway...was that although the name was the same...they were 2 different stones...on opposite sides of the cemetary)
5- Your team carrying groceries out of a grocery store for a customer (From the pictures we saw, team 1 carried a bag or two out for some guy that looked like he didn't even want them around and team 2 carried out 14 or more bags, a case of water, AND 7 gallons of milk)
6- Your team on a slide (I will admit...team 1 had the better picture in my opinion. They had someone come to the park and take their picture while they both laid on the slide. Team 2 was having WAY too much fun at the park and utilized BOTH slides. One certain team member almost got stuck in one slide...so the other team member did what was expected...I laughed and walked away)
7- The entire team has to walk into a business and sing a random song to an employee. Afterward, the employee needs to sign the back of this paper stating the name of the business, the name of the song you sang, and print his or her name (Team 1 sang Happy Birthday to the lady working at the consignment shop because her birthday was a month away. Team 2 used this one as a multi-tasking step. Remember...I sang while Bertha got her rocks off)
8- Someone on your team proving that undergarments CAN be outergarments in public (Team 1 had Mick wearing Matilda's white bra in the park over his white t-shirt, fondling himself. Team 2 had Bertha put her black bra over her black t-shirt and go into the Casey's store and purchase a drink for her ride home. Because she's a loser that can't commit to a whole weekend with her friends)
9- Your team doing the “hokey pokey” in the middle of the street (Team 1 stood in the middle of the highway and blocked traffic. Team 2 stood in the middle of the highway lane...that was empty for that whole minute...because there was a lot of traffic in town that day...and didn't want to die a horrible death)
10- Your team in or on a “unique” vehicle (Team 1 each sat atop some tiny antique things. I couldn't really see them. I was amazed these two squatted that far down long enough to get a picture...without falling. I know how I would have been! Team 2 posed on top of a miniature tractor that was loaded on top of a trailer)
Me: When I think of toilet paper, I think.....
Mick: of Hy-Vee...........
Bertha: because Hy-Vee toilet paper always gets stuck up in my cooter.....
and you can see how this went in the toilet fast. -_- I am so stuck on the toilet paper getting stuck in a cooter, I have completely lost as to how the story ended.
But you can see what we were doing. Passing the story on to the next person.
Me: Although most people disagree.....
Gee: my penis is tiny.....
That one caught EVERYONE off guard and it took some kind of twist and turn I don't WANT to remember! There was one in particular that stands out. I can't go into particulars on this one. You had to be there to know how it ended. And let me tell you this; it ended very very juicy.
Me: One time I farted while I.....
Bertha: **#%$*())_@#$%##@@%()*(*#($%*$%
I think someone passed out at what came out of her mouth. Someone blushed. Someone vomited. And some just sat there and tried to think of death. I. Am. Moving. On.
Back to the house we go. Sat around the kitchen table because nobody wanted to be the first to go to sleep. Bertha had promised whoever fell asleep first was getting a bra put in the sink and then the deep freeze. Mick should have went to sleep first. His bra should have been safe. Bertha was trying to scare Matilda from going to sleep by saying Matilda would get a Brazillian Wax job. The thought of it made me want to stay up all night.
Don't get me wrong. I've had the Brazillian thing done. Just not by any good friends. They don't have any business down there. The thought gives me hives. We gotta move on here.
We finally all gave in around 0330 hrs. and I slept upstairs with Gee and the dog. I would give any amount of money to bet that I was the first one asleep. Well.....after Gee and the dog. Because they went to bed around midnight. Lightweights. I made sure they weren't getting my bra though. I hid it. And slept naked. That kept them away ALL night!!!
My alarm was supposed to go off at 0730 so I could get up and start breakfast. It didn't go off. I woke up at 0745 and headed downstairs. Made biscuits and gravy, breakfast casserole, and pancakes. Everyone got fed, dressed and we headed out on the town. Just to clarify...I didn't cook naked. I got dressed first.
Matilda and Mick were team 1. Bertha and myself were team 2. Here's the list of things we had to do. And we only had an hour to do them.
1- A member of your team kissing livestock (Team 1 kissed a horsey at the park. Really??? It wasn't even a real horse. It was a park toy. Team 2...well the photographer laughed her ass off while the brave one...and I mean brave...jumped a fence and quietly chased a herd of sheep until she could get close enough to kiss one...on the side...without pissing herself)
2- Your team pumping gas for and washing the windshield of a patron at a gas station (Team 1 was creative. I will give them that. They did 3 things at once. Team 2...well they had more FUN with this game. One pumped gasoline for a guy and the other cleaned his windshield for him)
3- Someone on your team giving a massage to someone they don’t know (Team 1 did this while pumping gas. Team 2 actually went into a business...that neither of them had ever stepped foot in before...and one member gave a massage while the other sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to them. Both team members were supposed to sing BUT I think the one giving the massage was really getting into touching her new lady friend)
4- Your team at a cemetery with a “famous name” or “famous character” on their tombstone (BOTH teams picked the name Armstrong. How funny was that??? I know that team 2 picked that name to honor the late Neil Armstrong that recently passed away. I think team 1 picked it simply because they couldn't find any other name. Either way...the thing that was awesome about it...well to me anyway...was that although the name was the same...they were 2 different stones...on opposite sides of the cemetary)
5- Your team carrying groceries out of a grocery store for a customer (From the pictures we saw, team 1 carried a bag or two out for some guy that looked like he didn't even want them around and team 2 carried out 14 or more bags, a case of water, AND 7 gallons of milk)
6- Your team on a slide (I will admit...team 1 had the better picture in my opinion. They had someone come to the park and take their picture while they both laid on the slide. Team 2 was having WAY too much fun at the park and utilized BOTH slides. One certain team member almost got stuck in one slide...so the other team member did what was expected...I laughed and walked away)
7- The entire team has to walk into a business and sing a random song to an employee. Afterward, the employee needs to sign the back of this paper stating the name of the business, the name of the song you sang, and print his or her name (Team 1 sang Happy Birthday to the lady working at the consignment shop because her birthday was a month away. Team 2 used this one as a multi-tasking step. Remember...I sang while Bertha got her rocks off)
8- Someone on your team proving that undergarments CAN be outergarments in public (Team 1 had Mick wearing Matilda's white bra in the park over his white t-shirt, fondling himself. Team 2 had Bertha put her black bra over her black t-shirt and go into the Casey's store and purchase a drink for her ride home. Because she's a loser that can't commit to a whole weekend with her friends)
9- Your team doing the “hokey pokey” in the middle of the street (Team 1 stood in the middle of the highway and blocked traffic. Team 2 stood in the middle of the highway lane...that was empty for that whole minute...because there was a lot of traffic in town that day...and didn't want to die a horrible death)
10- Your team in or on a “unique” vehicle (Team 1 each sat atop some tiny antique things. I couldn't really see them. I was amazed these two squatted that far down long enough to get a picture...without falling. I know how I would have been! Team 2 posed on top of a miniature tractor that was loaded on top of a trailer)
Now, imagine how fun this would have been had we done it under the influence of adult beverages!!
As I mentioned above, Bertha left her friends to party on while she went home and saw her son...visiting from college...whom she had just seen 5 days prior. It's ok. I'm not bitter. Much. You bitch.
I am going to stop here. There's plenty to go but I don't want this to run too long. I promise I won't wait a week or more to finish this up. Okay...I don't really PROMISE it...but I will do my best to get this wrapped up. I have PLENTY more to talk to you about AND my hundredth blog is coming right up.
I hope you are caught up on your reading!!! Until next time...keep your (own) pants on!
2012/09/04
The Stay-cation: part 1
Well as I said before.....I survived. Barely. Let me tell you, I am not near as young as I used to be. When the heck did that happen??? This getting older thing pisses me off in about seventeen colors. Why don't we get a vote in how fast we age?? Anyway.....
When I got off work on Friday, I immediately had a text message that Bertha was just getting off work as well and she would be leaving within the hour. I still had to go to the grocery store. My least favorite place on this big ole ball of yard and wax. Oh wait...that's another planet. I meant grass and water. But this particular day, it didn't matter. It didn't bother me one bit.
As I'm walking in, a high school classmate of mine phones and asks if he can stop by as well. Of course you can!! The more the merrier. That was a nice surprise. We talked on the phone as I did my shopping so that helped kill the stabbing in the back I usually feel while doing this chore. Ice. Can't forget the ice. I forgot the grocery list all together so I was hoping I didn't forget the ice. I remembered all the way around the store...patting myself on the back for remember everything that was on my list and when I got up front to get ice, I remembered that Matilda was supposed to bring the ice!!!
Leave the grocery and head to the propane place so we have enough gas to barbecue. Gee is there with me and of course he finds a dog harness that we HAVE to have. This very minute. Because if we don't, our dog will implode. Or something like that. We got the damn harness. AND when I got outside, I noticed they charged us a dollar extra. Those bastards!!! Come to find out, we got a buck sixty two back in change. I bet they voted for..... oh shut it Amelia!! Let's not get into THAT!
Headed for home now. Hoping that nobody got there before me. That would be embarrassing. When we were about half a mile from town, Gee driving in front of me, I realized that I still have my work shirt on and I need to get some adult beverage at the local beer place. We were told from the get-go that we should not be buying those while wearing our shirts. And I hold to that. So while driving, I am trying to get my husband's attention.
I flash my lights at him. I honk my horn. I wave like a wild woman out the sunroof. Many times. Many many times. All for nil. He doesn't notice. Any of it. Because he's jamming out to some hard rock CD that I happen to give him. That wasn't one of my smarter moves this week.
He turns toward home and I drive on to the beer place. I call him up and he doesn't answer. Now there's something new. NOT! I swear this man doesn't need a phone. He doesn't even realize what it's for. Other than to use the stoopid internet when he is watching tv. That's his idea of multi-tasking. Watching swamp monsters on the tube and googling noodling or some stoopid thing like it. How DO I keep getting off track here???
He finally shows up at the beer place to carry my treasure out the door for me and we head home. The excitement building inside me. We get home, get the car unloaded and I am running around, tucking and poking; hiding and crimping; until finally someone gets here. Matilda! Yay!!! It's nice that she showed up since it's as much HER stay-cation as mine! We get her stuff put away and someone else shows up. My classmate.
The adult beverages start and the visiting and catching up began. About an hour later, Bertha decided to bless us with her company. We opened up some more adult goodies and sat around the kitchen table, talking amongst ourselves. I think my mind was swimming at this point.
Gee gets the grill started and puts on hamburgers and hot dogs, all the while talking on the phone. Hmph. Go figure. He loves talking to his buddies. Just not his wife. Apparently. *sigh* Back to the story.
As the food was nearing completion, our good friend Mick shows up. Very good to see him. He came all the way from Minnesota for this party so I hoped it was going to hold a lot of laughs and some good memories for him. Again, he gets caught up with everyone...or tries to...and we sit down to eat. Good thing we did because if I had drank even ONE more adult beverage, I would have had to have sat on the floor and ate my dinner!! WOW!! You can tell I'M not a drinker!!
After dinner, the classmate decided he needed to head home...so he did. And Willey showed up for a while then so we got out the game of "What the F***!" And let me tell you...my version is the "skanky" version (of course it is)! We played that and were having some good laughs when we started playing "Never have I ever." Now...if you have never played this game, it's kinda fun. And can be brutal. Let me just say that you start with ten fingers up and the first one to have no fingers up, is the loser. So.....the loser had to "bob" for a surprise in the pool outside. And the winner got to pick someone to "bob" for their own surprise.
I will be as bold to say that I was the loser. Bertha was picked by Willey to "bob" and she wasn't happy about it. Ha! Before bobbing (and these games could be out of order.....remember, I was under the influence of mind altering drinks that night), we played one more game. The jelly bean game. It has all different kinds of jelly beans in it and you had to spin the spinner to see what you had to eat. And we had all kinds of interesting jelly beans to eat, let me tell you.
Coconut OR baby wipes (my personal worst)
Black Licorice OR Skunk Spray (I believe Bertha & Matilda love it)
Top Banana OR Pencil Shavings (How bad can that be, right?)
Buttered Popcorn OR Rotten Egg (Mmmmm)
Berry Blue OR Toothpaste (Both of these are a plus)
Chocolate Pudding OR Canned Dog Food (You KNOW the difference)
Peach OR Barf (Again I say Mmmmm)
Juicy Pear OR Booger (I got Booger stuck in my teeth for three rounds!)
Caramel Corn OR Moldy Cheese (Cheese IS mold, am I right?)
Strawberry Jam OR Centipede (Without the hundred legs)
So after a few rounds, you get to realize just what you DON'T want to eat anymore of. And that's when you could "pass" by picking a piece of paper out of the bowl for something to "bob." I think every one of us chose to "bob" at least once...except for Mick. He could eat those jelly beans with a straight face no matter what the flavor was. I have never seen anything like it!! What a guy!
So the game is done and we head outside to the little pool. There is quite an assortment of things to "bob" for but we all have a little piece of paper...or six...so we know what treasures we are to get. Being the generous hostess, I decided that I would go first...and show them how it's done.
Dammit this is deeper than I thought it was! And that water is cold! And it's going up my nose!!! Just get the damn mouse and be done with it!! Yes, a mouse. A rubber one. Bertha had to do the same thing. And what I didn't know when I chose to do this little game was that poor Bertha has a fear of water. Too bad I tried to push her head down in there. No wonder she almost cried!!!
Soooo.......Mick decided that I needed to be pushed IN the pool. The whole of me. Well the whole of me minus the legs. Sure glad I wore that light pink t-shirt!! Mick also thought Matilda needed face planted in there after me. I don't know who was wetter, me or her!!! That was fun. Even IF Bertha absolutely hated it!!! And she had to bob for a rubber mouse which I thought was PERFECTO!!!!! Oh sometimes I am just too evil for my own good!!! Next year I will have toads in the water, just for her!!!
We winded down the night with more drinks and a bonfire. Yes...I finally got a bonfire. It was snug and it was warm and it was great. I want to do that every night! Bertha talked about sleeping by the fire but was afraid of being eaten by wolves. Seriously. Wolves. What a city girl!!
We played a "finish the sentence" game but I think I will wait until part 2 to go there. After all, there a lot of stay-cation to come! Keep tuned in. You never know when I will add to this!! Until then.....be safe, be pleasant, but most importantly.....be yourself!
When I got off work on Friday, I immediately had a text message that Bertha was just getting off work as well and she would be leaving within the hour. I still had to go to the grocery store. My least favorite place on this big ole ball of yard and wax. Oh wait...that's another planet. I meant grass and water. But this particular day, it didn't matter. It didn't bother me one bit.
As I'm walking in, a high school classmate of mine phones and asks if he can stop by as well. Of course you can!! The more the merrier. That was a nice surprise. We talked on the phone as I did my shopping so that helped kill the stabbing in the back I usually feel while doing this chore. Ice. Can't forget the ice. I forgot the grocery list all together so I was hoping I didn't forget the ice. I remembered all the way around the store...patting myself on the back for remember everything that was on my list and when I got up front to get ice, I remembered that Matilda was supposed to bring the ice!!!
Leave the grocery and head to the propane place so we have enough gas to barbecue. Gee is there with me and of course he finds a dog harness that we HAVE to have. This very minute. Because if we don't, our dog will implode. Or something like that. We got the damn harness. AND when I got outside, I noticed they charged us a dollar extra. Those bastards!!! Come to find out, we got a buck sixty two back in change. I bet they voted for..... oh shut it Amelia!! Let's not get into THAT!
Headed for home now. Hoping that nobody got there before me. That would be embarrassing. When we were about half a mile from town, Gee driving in front of me, I realized that I still have my work shirt on and I need to get some adult beverage at the local beer place. We were told from the get-go that we should not be buying those while wearing our shirts. And I hold to that. So while driving, I am trying to get my husband's attention.
I flash my lights at him. I honk my horn. I wave like a wild woman out the sunroof. Many times. Many many times. All for nil. He doesn't notice. Any of it. Because he's jamming out to some hard rock CD that I happen to give him. That wasn't one of my smarter moves this week.
He turns toward home and I drive on to the beer place. I call him up and he doesn't answer. Now there's something new. NOT! I swear this man doesn't need a phone. He doesn't even realize what it's for. Other than to use the stoopid internet when he is watching tv. That's his idea of multi-tasking. Watching swamp monsters on the tube and googling noodling or some stoopid thing like it. How DO I keep getting off track here???
He finally shows up at the beer place to carry my treasure out the door for me and we head home. The excitement building inside me. We get home, get the car unloaded and I am running around, tucking and poking; hiding and crimping; until finally someone gets here. Matilda! Yay!!! It's nice that she showed up since it's as much HER stay-cation as mine! We get her stuff put away and someone else shows up. My classmate.
The adult beverages start and the visiting and catching up began. About an hour later, Bertha decided to bless us with her company. We opened up some more adult goodies and sat around the kitchen table, talking amongst ourselves. I think my mind was swimming at this point.
Gee gets the grill started and puts on hamburgers and hot dogs, all the while talking on the phone. Hmph. Go figure. He loves talking to his buddies. Just not his wife. Apparently. *sigh* Back to the story.
As the food was nearing completion, our good friend Mick shows up. Very good to see him. He came all the way from Minnesota for this party so I hoped it was going to hold a lot of laughs and some good memories for him. Again, he gets caught up with everyone...or tries to...and we sit down to eat. Good thing we did because if I had drank even ONE more adult beverage, I would have had to have sat on the floor and ate my dinner!! WOW!! You can tell I'M not a drinker!!
After dinner, the classmate decided he needed to head home...so he did. And Willey showed up for a while then so we got out the game of "What the F***!" And let me tell you...my version is the "skanky" version (of course it is)! We played that and were having some good laughs when we started playing "Never have I ever." Now...if you have never played this game, it's kinda fun. And can be brutal. Let me just say that you start with ten fingers up and the first one to have no fingers up, is the loser. So.....the loser had to "bob" for a surprise in the pool outside. And the winner got to pick someone to "bob" for their own surprise.
I will be as bold to say that I was the loser. Bertha was picked by Willey to "bob" and she wasn't happy about it. Ha! Before bobbing (and these games could be out of order.....remember, I was under the influence of mind altering drinks that night), we played one more game. The jelly bean game. It has all different kinds of jelly beans in it and you had to spin the spinner to see what you had to eat. And we had all kinds of interesting jelly beans to eat, let me tell you.
Coconut OR baby wipes (my personal worst)
Black Licorice OR Skunk Spray (I believe Bertha & Matilda love it)
Top Banana OR Pencil Shavings (How bad can that be, right?)
Buttered Popcorn OR Rotten Egg (Mmmmm)
Berry Blue OR Toothpaste (Both of these are a plus)
Chocolate Pudding OR Canned Dog Food (You KNOW the difference)
Peach OR Barf (Again I say Mmmmm)
Juicy Pear OR Booger (I got Booger stuck in my teeth for three rounds!)
Caramel Corn OR Moldy Cheese (Cheese IS mold, am I right?)
Strawberry Jam OR Centipede (Without the hundred legs)
So after a few rounds, you get to realize just what you DON'T want to eat anymore of. And that's when you could "pass" by picking a piece of paper out of the bowl for something to "bob." I think every one of us chose to "bob" at least once...except for Mick. He could eat those jelly beans with a straight face no matter what the flavor was. I have never seen anything like it!! What a guy!
So the game is done and we head outside to the little pool. There is quite an assortment of things to "bob" for but we all have a little piece of paper...or six...so we know what treasures we are to get. Being the generous hostess, I decided that I would go first...and show them how it's done.
Dammit this is deeper than I thought it was! And that water is cold! And it's going up my nose!!! Just get the damn mouse and be done with it!! Yes, a mouse. A rubber one. Bertha had to do the same thing. And what I didn't know when I chose to do this little game was that poor Bertha has a fear of water. Too bad I tried to push her head down in there. No wonder she almost cried!!!
Soooo.......Mick decided that I needed to be pushed IN the pool. The whole of me. Well the whole of me minus the legs. Sure glad I wore that light pink t-shirt!! Mick also thought Matilda needed face planted in there after me. I don't know who was wetter, me or her!!! That was fun. Even IF Bertha absolutely hated it!!! And she had to bob for a rubber mouse which I thought was PERFECTO!!!!! Oh sometimes I am just too evil for my own good!!! Next year I will have toads in the water, just for her!!!
We winded down the night with more drinks and a bonfire. Yes...I finally got a bonfire. It was snug and it was warm and it was great. I want to do that every night! Bertha talked about sleeping by the fire but was afraid of being eaten by wolves. Seriously. Wolves. What a city girl!!
We played a "finish the sentence" game but I think I will wait until part 2 to go there. After all, there a lot of stay-cation to come! Keep tuned in. You never know when I will add to this!! Until then.....be safe, be pleasant, but most importantly.....be yourself!
On my very last nerve
I'm sure you were all anxiously awaiting the play-by-play of the stay-cation but it's not what you are going to get today. I am recovered, recouperated, rejuvenated, and revived. And today....everything is on my last nerve.
So today's blog is dedicated to more than one thing...one person...one entity...one whatever.
My first gripe: THE CHAIN OF COMMAND. The chain is not always the great thing employers want you to think it is. The chain does not always work the way the employers tell you it works. What happens when you follow the chain of command only to find out that nobody has balls to do anything about... something that very much needs to be addressed? What happens when the thing that needs addressed puts multiple lives at risk? What is a person supposed to do when they get to the top of that ladder and there is nobody on the roof??? What is recommended...or suggested...at this point? Where is a person supposed to go?
And I guess looking back at the current situation, this doesn't ONLY go for jobs. This goes for a LOT of things in life. This can even apply in families...in home situations. It makes me sad..... andvery much frustrated that someone "at the top," can't handle the things "under" them. *punch*
My second gripe: TO THE BITCHES. I am going to proceed with exactly what my voice recorder says because I feel I can't put it out there any better than how I said it aloud earlier. So here we go. To you bitches that want a man and can't find one because you're waiting for them to come find you and ask you out and be all romantic and shit like that and do all that bullshit... I hope you have a long long life of being alone; because this is 2012 and it doesn't work like it did in the 60's! If you're WAITING for a man... then you should have to wait to vote...wait to drive... and wait to have children...until THAT MAN that you waited for, tells you it's okay to do ANY of those things. You bitches piss me off! Get out there and be aggressive and get a man. Oh yeah... and stop pissing and whining about it!! *punch*
My third and last gripe for today: PARENTS. If your kids do something that is illegal and get caught...and (especially) THEN plead guilty in a court of law... that means THEY DID IT! I understand that no parent wants to see their child go to jail... for ANY reason. But if they do...let them grow up and do their time. Don't boo and hiss the police because they aren't "out there getting the real criminals." You can ask any judge. If they are found guilty, they have to do their time. And what really gets my panties in a twist is that "those parents" whose kids get thrown in the county poke and think "their kids are different" and should get "special privileges." You parents can bite my ass! It's time parents held kids responsible for their actions! *punch/kick*
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