I think when I get old.....and I mean old.....I am going to be fun. For those of you that think I'm a barrel of laughs now...just wait. I plan to get better at it. And for the most part, we will have Facebook to thank for it.
I am going to be one of those old women that push her lifeline button just to see if any cute firemen or policemen show up. AND...when they do, Quintin will be sitting there...shaking his head...laughing because I did it. Yep, I can't wait.
Did you know it's a misdemeanor...punishable by law...to call 911 to report something that is in fact, not an emergency? Man...if only I had a badge, a night stick and a flashlight. There would be enough job security to keep me in paychecks for years after I'm dead. Wait.....did I make any sense? Oh well... I did to me. Let's move on.
I feel sorry for the old people that call 911 because they feel they can't call anyone else. Like their families. Or their neighbors. Or their friends. Hell, most of their friends would probably do the same thing anyway because they all think alike.
I feel sorry for the old people that call 911 because they are scared of others. Scared of the young people. Scared that someone might be standing outside and they don't know what they are doing. I won't be one of those scared old people though. I'll be that old person that is sitting in prison because I shot some poor lost bastard for standing outside my retirement village, map in hand, wondering just HOW the hell he got where he did!
Yeah...and then from prison, I am going to call 911. Just to see if any cute jailers or deputies show up. Yes siree...that will be me. I better plan this out a little better because I know what deputies and jailers are in MY county. I want cute ones.
Here's a few examples of people that have called 911 that I don't feel sorry for though.
I don't feel sorry for that complete idiot that calls and tells me that someone is driving aggressively and at a high rate of speed. And they KNOW how fast the car is going that they are complaining about because they have or are, followed or following them at equal amounts of speed.
"I'm calling to report this jackass who is driving aggressively. They are driving over 95 mph because I have been trying to catch them at 95 mph for 10 minutes and can't seem to catch them." It takes a special kind of stupid to do this. Not only is the jackass putting yours, theirs and everyone else's lives on the line, but YOU sir...or YOU ma'am...are doing the exact same thing.
And then they follow it up with "No, I did not get a license plate. Description? Well...it was a blue truck...wait, my kid says it was a blue SUV..." And so it goes. If you can't give me some GOOD information...and some GOOD descriptions...how do you expect me and my deputies/troops/officers, to stop this person and do what they need to do?
And if you only remember ONE thing about calling 911, from me tonight. I hope it is the importance of telling us WHERE. Not necessarily where you are; but where the help is needed at. You could be across town and get a phone call from a friend or loved one getting mugged and if you tell me to send my officers to you...you just cost your friend or loved one some serious time getting help.
I am not going to get into all of the "do's and dont's" of calling 911. Because simply...I would leave something out and then all my co-workers would be on my ass. And all the other dispatchers, officers, EMS, and firemen on my Facebook that read my stuff. Stalkers!
If you are calling for an ambulance and you know someone's health history...I'll take it. Heart condition? Cancer patient? Stroke history? I don't care if the person is having an allergic reaction. I want that info. And if you can tell me what they're allergic to, give me that as well. If you think it's worth mentioning, I'll be sure to pass it along. Our EMS need to know everything we can tell them.
If you are calling because someone is putting your life, or someone else's life, at risk... please please please tell us if there are any weapons involved. If you know of either party even having a weapoon, we need to know this. We need to tell our law enforcement so that they can be protected when they get on the scene. The last thing I want is for anybody to get seriously hurt.
If you have a burning building and everybody is out of there and there is no potention harm to you or your people, please please please (and maybe I'm asking too much here, I don't know), give me the address as slowly and calmly as you can. Remember, your house... your belongings...can be replaced. Your life cannot. When someone is screaming at me to get a "fire truck here because my house is burning down" and everybody is out....how am I going to know where to send them? "Here" does not always come up on my map.
Now...let's lighten things up a little bit.
Here's a couple of examples of situations I can't help but laugh at. And keep in mind...they called 911 for these.
"Hi can I talk to my mommy?"
"Ummm I'm in the wind turbine at "such and such" street and well.....I'm out of toilet paper and sitting on the toilet."
"There is a kid at my front door and I am afraid to answer it."
"Can you tell me where I'm at? I was just in Missouri an hour ago."
My favorite call...and this one wasn't even a 911 call...was a couple of kids messing around on the phone. I answer the work phone and this kid (sounded to be around 8 years old) says to me, "You have just won $1,000!" Now...mind you, I have JUST answered the phone for my Sheriff's Department and given my name. The kid obviously wasn't paying attention. Here's how the rest of the conversation went:
ME: Excuse me?
HE: You have just won $1,000
ME: Do you know you called the Sheriff's Office?
HE: click
ME: dial dial dial-dial dial dial dial
MOM: Hello
ME: This is Shellie from the Sheriff's Office. Do you have a couple of young boys running around there playing?
MOM: Sure do.
ME: Well one just called me and told me I won $1,000 and when I told him where he had called, he hung up.
MOM: Oh really??? Well I will have to see about this.
ME: Does this mean I don't get the money?
MOM: Sorry, unless he's willing to work it off, I think you're out of luck!
Hey, I tried!
I kid you not. We get calls like this everyday. And there's some that are so outrageous...I can't mention them. Remember, we are human. We have feelings and we have hearts. We do care. And just because it sounds like we're not upset when you call, it's because we have to keep our voices and our emotions in tact until we get everybody TO you, or TO the place of emergency, that is needed.
The ones that really tear me apart are the ones where someone is so upset...or so choked up... or so out of it...that they can't even get the information out; or where children are involved, of course. But my promise to you is that I will do my best. I will get you who you need, as fast as I can...as long as you can tell me who that is and where that is.
The last example I want to mention before I close out is about your old cell phones. I know that I have said this over and over and over and over again but I think some people just don't get it. When I answer a 911 call and all I hear is a child on the other end, playing with a phone, how do you expect me to decipher if that child is just playing with the phone or if that child needs help? Or if mommy, daddy, sister or brother needs help? I can't SEE the other end of that phone line.
If you have an old cell phone that you don't use and you give it to your kids to play with... they can still call 911 with it as long as the battery is in it. If you want to keep it around for emergency's sake...by all means, have at it! But keep it in a safe place so little "playing" hands can't tie up my 911 lines for no reason. Otherwise, take the battery out of it before giving it to your children to play with.
Thanks for reading! Enjoy your night!
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