I don't know what's going on with me these days. I'm so emotional it makes me want to scream. Pregnancy hormones, ya think? Bahahaha NO. It's not that. Trust me. I am uterus-less and love it. I don't know...commercials make me tear up; pictures make me cry; if someone sang the National Anthem RIGHT NOW I would surely burst into sixteen thousand pieces.
I dusted my livingroom a couple of days ago. Took me hours and about 4 dust rags but I got it done. I came to a picture of my parents. *sob* I came to a picture of me and all my brothers and sisters. *sob* I came to a picture of Kathy and her kids. *sob* I came across my wedding album...and after digging through the dust...took a quick peek. *major sob*
I miss my dad and I miss Grandpa Henry. I think it's the weather. Or the fact that Christmas is coming up. Or the weather. I blame the weather for everything. Oil crisis going on in Libya? Yep, blame that damned hurricane that just hit the Phillipines. The first time I turn on one of the Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel, I will blame any negative weather in this country there is!
I used to go to the cemetary and talk to my dad a lot. Of course, I lived a lot closer then and the cemetary was readily "available." It's not so available anymore. Since August, I have went out several times to the cemetary here and talked to Grandpa Henry. It's getting harder though.
We used to decorate dad's grave so big and grand after he died. We went to the cemetary as a family and did it and then the kids played "Red Rover" and no matter how many times we tried...God would never send dad "right over." *sigh* *sob*
When I do make it south to Bedford, I always scold myself about going to the cemetary on my way through. I don't do it everytime because it hurts. It hurt less when mom was here with us. Now they are both there and I hate it. I think I hate having to emotionally deal with the fact that they are there and we are here. I'm such a selfish baby sometimes. *sob*
This didn't bother me back in April. It didn't bother me in September. But it sure bothers me now. I hate being bothered. Sometimes I can't shut my brain off and I think too much. I always find myself thinking the "what if's" and then mentally kick myself for it. "What if we would have forced dad to the doctor that day?" Haha who am I kidding. The only one that could force my dad to do ANYTHING was God and boy did he do it and do it big. *sigh*
Whenever I go to the cemetary here to talk to Grandpa Henry, I think of how Grandma is alone every night at home; doing the things she needs to do; dealing with her own grief; about how I am so bad about getting out to see her like everyone else does. That's going to change though. I'm going to catch up with her soon and keep at it. I hate feeling guilt over something I can easily change. *sigh*
So before I turn into a blubbering piece of mad-hot-mess, I am going to change the subject.
I have finally got in the mood to do some baking. Not a whole lot but each day I have been doing some and it's starting to add up. Time to plug in the second deep freeze. *happy face* Today when I was cleaning up, out of the corner of my eye I saw the fastest mouse alive go through my kitchen. The little bugger ran from behind my fridge to the laundry room. I went in looking for him but I think the little b-tard made it into that hole in the wall. Can't get that room tore off and rebuilt soon enough. That thing was so fast my dog didn't see it. Yeah...he just looked at me like "What the hell are you doing mom? Is this what it means when you always tell me you have finally went nuts?"
Time to put bait out in the basement again. I knew it was weird that we had had three mice this year. They usually tend to die in the basement. About 3 feet from the bait. I vaguely remember my husband saying he was going to pick some more bait up...about 3 weeks ago. Duh man, get to it already! I have baking and stuff to do! The last thing I have time for is running after a stupid mouse. But I will if I have to! Have I ever told the story of the RAT that was in our house? I can take mice all day long but rats I have no use for.
I went to Bedford the other night to a benefit for my dear friend/sis, Connie Fleetwood. They had a wonderful spaghetti and salad meal with desserts like you wouldn't believe. AND, the great news is that I had a chocolate rice krispie bar and it was amazing...AND I had some spaghetti...though not a whole lot. And my blood sugar barely raised. I was impressed with myself that night. Now, I will tell you that when I went to get my spaghetti, I told Sharon that I only wanted a "little bit" because I wasn't supposed to have much starch and she was good enough to find me one long piece and put it on my plate. Yes, she gave me one piece. Hmph! "Ok ok I can have a LITTLE more than that!" Good one Sharon! Way to keep me in line! My doctor would have been very happy with her!
I bought some Christmas presents at the auction. They had some very neat things donated and the auctioneers were awesome. If all auctions were that funny, hundreds of people would attend all of them! Or at least they should. I don't know who they were...except for Ray...I know him... but hat's off to you guys. You did an amazing job.
Some of you may know about this but I am going to tell it anyway. On the way home, we just got out of the city limits of Bedford when I spot a raccoon laying in the middle of the other lane. Dead. As. A. Doornail. I took about 4 1/2 seconds to think about turning around to get it and take it home. Of course I did! I already had a trunk full of groceries so I knew there was no way I could put it in anything back there. I had a tote in my backseat that I had transported 2 candy bouquets and cookbooks in, to the benefit and when we got in the car, Kathy had carried some things out and just set them in the tote.
So anyway, I whipped the car around and my sister's eyes about bugged out of her head. I'm pretty sure she was considering having me committed about then. When I pulled up to the raccoon, I pulled up too far so when I got OUT of the car, it was very dark and I didn't even really know if this thing was completely dead yet. I grabbed her tail and it was still pretty warm but I didn't feel any fight or movement. Up and at 'em girlfriend, we are going to Fontanelle! I open the back door...on the passenger side, mind you... and with one hand grab what was in the tote and throw it in a heap on the seat. On top of the stuff I already had heaped in there. There were 2 m&m's in the tote so I told the ole girl that if she got hungry, she could eat those.
Of course, me talking to her freaked Kathy out a lot. That made it that much more fun. We head back up the road and about 2 miles up, things start making noises in the back seat. Things are shifting. Of course Kathy starts freaking out and I guess me saying, "Maybe it was still alive" didn't help the cause any. After all, this woman is supposed to be recovering from breast reduction surgery and she can't do anything to jeapordize her recovery. Like jumping out of a moving vehicle, for instance.
"Okay, we will stop in Gravity and move stuff around. I will put the groceries in the back seat and the coon can go in the trunk...if the tote will fit." That seemed to appease her for the time being. I figured if I stopped up on main street, in front of the bar, and that thing was still alive...well they wouldn't mind me shooting it dead. Heck, it would give them something to talk about and "toast." Well when we got to the turn-off to Gravity, Kathy says "Aren't you going to stop in Gravity?" I keep going. "Nope, I changed my mind. We will be fine."
That's when the scenario plays in my mind. "I just want you to know that if that thing crawls out and comes up front, you should just pet it and find something to feed it." Okay, that went over like a lead balloon. "What??? Are you kidding me?" I think I need to go back on my dashcam and see if that night is still on that card. Could be entertaining to hear, huh? "Oh and by the way, if it crawls up onto your head, I won't be able to stop the car because I'm going to be laughing so hard." Immediately Kathy covers her head. "What? Are you serious?" Hehehe "Well yes I'm serious! I will turn the key off though so at least the car will eventually come to a stop. That's all I can promise."
I rarely get to see Kathy so nervous but man, was she ever ready to be home! I called the husband on my way out of Corning and told him that since I wasn't home tonight to help him check traps, I got him a little present. Of course he thought I got him something at the auction. He didn't want me to tell him what it was on the phone though. I had to hold it in all the way home.
He came out to help me lug all my groceries and treasures into the house and I told him that he could start with his gift. Which was in the backseat. He opens up the door, grabs the tote and got the biggest smile ever! See! It WAS worth it!! The last thing he was ever expecting was his wife to transport a dead animal in her car. The car she loves more than any car in the world. The car she calls her baby. Then he says to me, "Were you feeding it m&m's?" *sigh*
And I am going to back up a little bit to add that I got to spend a few minutes with Ann, my sister-in-law, and girls Kennedy and Kelly. Whom I haven't been able to see for over a year. I don't know how I held back my tears but I did it because I didn't want to freak the girls out. I have missed them so much that I literally felt my heart heal a little bit just by being that close to them. And the fact that they WANTED to give me a hug when I left, told me what a real fool I am. There is nothing in the world that is more important to me than family. Especially the little family. (No...not the "little" dwarfies that freak me out) The young ones. *sob sob sob*
Damned weather anyway!!!
Until next time...thanks for reading!!!
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