Think about something you are terrified of. I mean something that really paralyzes you with fear. Now imagine how I felt when I had to face one of my biggest fears in Wal-Mart today.
Death used to be my biggest fear. And then after learning about God and Jesus, death was not so scary anymore. Then my biggest fear was losing somebody that I really really loved. And of course we have all lost somebody that we really really love. And it hurts. Like hell. But that's not my biggest fear anymore either. And I think the reason is because I know that the people I really really love are going to really really cool place.
Now let's go back a little bit and think about that thing you're terrified of. I would match my fear of spiders, birds, clowns, and maybe not so much midgets anymore...but for sure birds, clowns, and spiders. We cannot forget the spiders. Okay, think about how you would feel if you were faced with one of your biggest fears. Really look deep inside yourself and try to get that feeling of panic. That feeling of paralyzation.
This morning I was in Walmart and I was getting a few things. My goal was to run in and get what I needed and then back out the door. Well, I had gotten almost everything I needed and turned to go down the dog food aisle because my husband pointed out the other night how mommy was disappointing the dogs by not getting any new treats lately. So yes he put the guilt trip on me, and yes it worked. I turned the corner, gabbing away on the phone to my loving husband, and no sooner than I get three steps down the aisle, a bird lights down RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF ME. Yes, a bird. A live, stinking, fluffy, ugly, nasty, dirty, bird. And the way I felt inside is exactly how I would think a stroke feels.
I almost screamed. Of course my husband thought it was hilarious. He starts laughing and I am almost in tears. That stupid, stinking, fluffy, ugly, dirty, nasty, bird looked at me like "What you going to do now ladeeeeeee?" And all I could say was "Oh my God there's a bird here. There's a real bird in Walmart." I think I'm mad at my husband for laughing at me. I wanted to reach through the phone and choke him at that very minute but I was too paralyzed so to speak. It was awful.
I immediately started sweating. My hands were shaking. My legs were shaking. My heart was going six thousand beats per minute. I bet if anyone had been anywhere around that aisle, they would have HEARD my heart!! It probably sounds really funny to you but it wasn't too damned funny to me. Isn't it funny how the silliest things can put the fear of God in us? No! I think the fear of God is an easier fear than my fear of birds.
A lot of people give me a hard time because I'm scared of spiders. And a few people give me a hard time because I'm scared of birds. But I'm serious when I say these things terrify me. Clowns terrify me. Midgets... I'm working on that. I can only do one thing at a time people. So anyway I walked on toward the bird and it flies away. Thank you God. I hang up the phone and I grab some treats. I was so flustered but I didn't care what treats I got. I just grabbed a bag. I headed up to the front and I see these totes on clearance. So I go grab a couple & I will be damned if that bird did not land right above me at the top of the end rack. I was sure I was going to piss myself.
I just grabbed my totes and lids and I headed for the cash register. I was so flustered I could barely speak to the guy that was checking me out and he's somebody I have known for years. I hope he didn't think I was rude. As I was walking out, the exit door would not open and I almost bashed my face into the glass. You know those commercials for the coffee company where the people are carrying their coffee and run right into the glass door? Yeah, that was me today. Without the coffee thankfully. Of course there were two men behind me and they were nice enough to say "I think that door doesn't work." No shit? No, I didn't. But I wanted to.
So I'm already flustered enough about the live, stinking, fluffy, ugly, nasty, dirty, bird that I had to encounter not once BUT TWICE, but then I have the added embarrassment of almost banging my head into a glass door. So as I exit through the entrance (yes Sheila I was forced to do it), some gal walks in and she says to me "Well hi!" She was all happy and stuff. That much I can remember. I'm pretty sure she knew me but I could not even make eye contact with her. If you are that woman that spoke to me in Walmart today, I apologize. Profusely. There just are no words. I'm telling you I haven't felt this bad in so long. I just wanted to be home. I was almost scared to drive home because I was afraid something awful would happen and I would "crash n burn" and die.
But I didn't. I made it home safely. I actually got a lot accomplished when I got home. But I hate Walmart. & I hate birds. And yes, I hate spiders. I hate clowns. And I don't really like midgets. They make me uncomfortable but I don't hate them anymore. You can thank the little people show for that. Well maybe not the little people. Maybe pit boss. Anyway that was my day. And how was your day???
For the record...I saw you laughing at me. It's fine. I'm used to it. Usually it's ME laughing at ME but this time, I'll let it slide. -_-
Until next time...thanks for reading!!!
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