Years and years ago, when I was completely enthralled with the man who was one day going to be my first husband, we ran off to Sioux City to live. He assured me it was going to be great. We would live with his friend, the friend's wife and their 3 children. Things would be hard at first but we would make it. We would be fine. And I was willing to take that chance. After all, this was the man I wanted to marry.....
Off to Sioux City we go. This girl was scared to death. I had never lived in a city before and I really hadn't gone away from my family for very long either. A new adventure in a new city with new people. Nobody knew me. Nobody knew my family. Nobody knew anything about my past. And the best part for me was that nobody cared.
When Carlos said it was going to be hard, he had definitely underestimated. The first night that we got to Sioux City, we didn't have a place to stay. The friends that had brought him to get me, didn't have any space in the "room" they were staying in. Yes, two adults and three small children (all under the age of 4) living in one room. Sharing a bathroom, a kitchen, a refrigerator, with many others that rented the other rooms. There were no livingrooms or diningrooms. Only the one bathroom, the kitchen and all other rooms were rented out for sleeping/living.
Carlos and I spent the first night in the backseat of their car. It wasn't cold out yet so it was okay. And we were in love so it was alright. I mean, we all have to make compromises, right?
Ahhh, looking back I see all these little red flags that pop up.....
The next day, we take Carlos and his friend Flaco, to their job. Come to find out, what their "job" was, was going from place to place that hired out daily. So he really didn't even know day to day if he had a job. But that day, he had a job. So there they went. And there I was. Stuck with a gal and her three children that I knew nothing about. For eight long hours at least. I knew their first names at this point and that was it.
We didn't go back to the place they were staying. Matter of fact, looking back, we never went back to that place. How odd. It has been years since I have even thought about these memories so bear with me. Anyway, we spent that first day going to visit friends of hers. She would introduce me and then that was about all the part I played. I helped with the kids of course, because I at least knew HOW to do that. The gal and her friends spoke Spanish...very rapid Spanish...and that left me completely in the dark. So I felt more like the nanny.
But the kids were great. Very cute and very cuddly. I wonder whatever happened to those kids. The oldest girl was named Jackie...an easy name for me to remember. And the baby boy was named Arthur. I can't, for the life of me, remember what that middle girl's name was. I wonder.....
So I was very happy when, at noon, we headed over to where the guys were working. There was a food truck there and they got us all something to eat. At this point, I was starving...or thought I was. I hadn't had a shower and felt awful and embarrassed. Carlos assured me that when he got off work, we would have a place to stay and told me not to worry. He would take care of me.
After work finally came and we headed straight for this motel...something in looks similar to the Bates motel. A very friendly man, that I had a hard time understanding, ran it and he kept it pretty clean. It wasn't in the best part of town either and beggars can't be choosers. Carlos paid for one room for one week. Fine by me. At least now I would be able to shower and relax.
Didn't take long to realize that the one room was for all seven of us. Yikes! Carlos and I got one bed. Flaco..and his wife Lisa...whose name I just now remembered...got the other. The man gave us extra blankets so the kids could have beds on the floor. We had a little fridge & microwave in the room so we thought we would be okay for the week.
Everynight we ate at a different Mexican restaurant and I loved it. I learned a lot about food. About what I loved and about what I didn't love at all! So that was how we spent our time. The guys working and we just went and visited people or walked around stores all day. Like I said, Carlos paid that first week, and then Flaco paid the next week. So on and so forth. Sometimes we would go where I called downtown...and I'm sure it's not considered downtown at all...and hang out at a couple of bars and play pool. I got to know one of the owners of one of the bars. Although I can't remember her name right now, I can picture her. She was a beautiful woman inside and out. She was a devoted mother and had a caring heart.
This downtown area wasn't far from the mission and I always wondered if we would ever end up living there. The thought scared me. A lot. I'm not gonna lie to you. I would have to say that the whole 29 days that we "lived" in Sioux City, Iowa, we never happened upon anybody that was rude. Or mean. Or scary. Only the circumstances were scary.
Toward the end of my life in Sioux City, the guys were at work and I was with Lisa. We had went to Shopko. I was just strolling around, looking at things, because I didn't have a dime to my name...when all of a sudden, on the loudspeaker, I hear "Shellie Weed, please come to customer service." Oh boy, this can't be good. Who knows I'm here and why do they want me??? Honestly, at this point, I was tired of the way we lived and deep down inside, I had wished my parents had found me and came to take me home.
When I get to customer service and give them my name, they gal nods toward a door and tells me to go in there. I walk in and there sits Lisa with 3 crying babies. Crying very loudly. It seems that the reason we had been "window shopping" everyday was so Lisa could shoplift clothing and items for her kids. She would have baby Arthur in his car seat and when she would get a small stack of clothing, pick him up in his blanket, lay the clothes in his car seat and then lay him back down.
I was mortified and I remember thinking "my dad would kick my ass!" So Lisa gets hauled off to jail and I am stuck, in Sioux City, Iowa, where I don't know a soul and barely know how to get around and to top it all off, I have three screaming babies with me. Oh boy. I will never forget the embarrassment I felt when I pushed that cart out of the store with those babies going at it. Everybody stopped and looked at me. Oh God Bless us all!!
I made it from there to where the guys' worked though. Terrified, shaking and wanting to leave this town. I was mad at Carlos for leaving me with someone who would do such a thing and I was mad at myself for not asking more questions about WHY we were going shopping when we never had more than a few dollars to spend. Duh! Naive naive naive!
Lisa was released that evening and the next day, guess where we go. Yep, right back to Shopko! I couldn't believe it. This time it wasn't just me, her and the kids. It was ALL of us. Must have been a Saturday or something because they weren't at work. So when we got inside and she took off on her own, I just waited toward the front of the store. I told Carlos that I had a bad feeling and he told me it would be okay.
It wasn't long before I heard those same words come over the loud speaker. "Shellie Weed to customer service." I just looked at the gal and said "In there right?" pointing to the door. She nodded yes and in I went. Lisa and the kids again. I was furious. They said that the ONLY reason they knew to look for Lisa was because security saw me and remembered me because I was so embarrassed the day before. They told Lisa what a bad friend she was to me. This whole time, I am wondering why I got called and not her husband!
Well guess what??? When they called my name over the speaker, Carlos and Flaco headed straight for the car! Thanks jerks!!! By this time I have had it. I told Carlos that I wanted to go back to Bedford and never come back to Sioux City.
The next day, Lisa dropped us off down at the bar and left. I went into the bar where I had made friends with this bartender and told her I needed enough cash to get two bus tickets out of here. Told her everything that happened and she asked me if I had anything to sell. I pulled out of my bag, all of my music CD's. And I had quite a few of them from years of collecting. She ended up buying enough of them to pay for two bus tickets and a little bit left over. That's all the help I needed. We went to the bus station and got two tickets to Omaha. But all of our stuff was in the motel room and we didn't have a car.
With the money left over, Carlos had barely enough to take a taxi to get the stuff and make it back just as the bus was getting ready to leave. I was sure I was taking that trip alone. And in hindsight, I should have. But I guess all of these experiences helped shape me into who I am today.
We get to Omaha and the snow is coming down heavy and fast. Even if we had more money for a bus ticket, they were all suspended until morning. Now I'm stuck in Omaha and don't know what to do. I called my cousin's house and got her husband...who was in the process of being her ex-husband and I didn't know this...and he wasn't coming out to help. He was actually quite rude, which took me by surprise.
Some people that worked at the bus station gave us enough money for a taxi to slide us over to the Mission. That was so nice of them. And I was scared to death. I had heard stories about things that happen in these places. And we didn't have much left on our backs for someone to steal. On the way over there, I had every bad image go through my head that I could think of.
When we reached the Mission though, we were welcomed by the friendliest people. They told us that if we weren't married, we would have to sleep separated. I quickly lied and said we were married because I didn't know what I was going to get myself into and didn't want to be there alone. We were given a hide-a-bed that night. I'm not sure that I slept much at all but I was grateful for the bed, the pillow & the blanket.
The next day, we got up and went out to breakfast. I asked if I could help in some way and they told me I could clear tables when people got finished eating. And there were many people. And every person there was as grateful as I was, to be in that place. And so I did. Cleared tables, talked to people, laughed, heard jokes, told jokes. It was comfortable and clean and nobody pryed into your business.
I called my friend Tammy and asked her if she could come get us and she told me they were headed to Des Moines but they would come over after they were done, and pick us up. But it would be later that night. I didn't care. I just wanted to be around someone I knew for a change. I spent my day in a church service with many others, singing and praising God. I helped watch the children along with some of the others. I was constantly asking to help with something to show my gratitude.
This must have been around Thanksgiving time because I remember a fantastic meal of turkey, mashed potatoes & gravy. And I remember people bringing food in as donations. Lots and lots of food. It was amazing. I remember thinking, "When I get my life straight, I am going to be one of THOSE people. The ones that give."
A couple of times since then, I have sent a donation in the mail but have never ever thought it was enough. This year is my year. No matter what. I am giving back to them because they took such good care of me. I am no longer with Carlos but I will always be thankful for what they did for us.
Until next time...thanks for reading!
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