I am a mandatory reporter

I am a mandatory reporter. For children and adult dependents.   I have been a mandatory reporter for many years.  Mandatory reporters that are required to report abuse or neglect are:



Health practitioners, Social workers or psychologists, School employees, certified paraeducators, coaches, or instructors employed by community colleges, Employees or operators of health-care facilities, child care centers, Head Start programs, family development and self-sufficiency grant programs, substance abuse programs or facilities, juvenile detention or juvenile shelter care facilities, foster care facilities, or mental health centers, Employees of Department of Human Services institutions, Peace officers, counselors, or mental health professionals, Commercial film and photographic print processors.


The job of these mandatory reporters is to report any and all suspicious behaviors of someone abusing or neglecting their child or adult dependent.  Whether it is in their home or in public.  There is nothing glamorous about having this title.  Matter of fact, MOST people that ARE mandatory reporters have learned to "turn the other cheek."  


Trust me, that is the easier way.  It's not the right way but by far, it is the easier way.  So what do you do when it is someone you are related to?  Someone you care about?  What about when the mandatory reporter is the person in question?  How do you react to that situation?  Do you just "do it?"  Do you look the other way and never look back?  There is nothing easy about what you HAVE to do.


For three years I have been pondering this in my head.  So for three years, I was not doing my job.  I was not living up to the promise that I made when I became a mandatory reporter.  And it has eaten at me all of these three years.  There were so many consequences to weigh.  When I asked those around me what they would do, they couldn't come up with an answer.  All agreed that it needs to be addressed but when it came down to brass tacks, nobody wanted to be in that situation; nobody wanted to be "the one."


So I stepped up.  I reported some behavior that is offensive to me and to some kids.  And the sad thing is, this is such a way of life for the kids, they probably don't even know it's offensive to them.  It's offensive to many others but not enough that anyone wanted to "get involved."  Like I said, it took me three years of "pondering, wondering and weighing" and a giant push of "anger," to do it.  I have struggled with this decision for THREE YEARS.  Sometimes we just get angry enough to do what is right and put aside what hurts.  It's not a decision I am proud of but I guaran-damn-tee that if I had children and I couldn't provide for them, somebody I love would have been there to do the same for me.


Looking back now, I don't know why I didn't just do this three years ago.  Maybe because I love these people.  All of them involved.  Whether they want to believe it or not.  I would have done anything for them and have gone out of my way many times for them.  I didn't want anything for my time.  I didn't want paid for my deeds.  And I still don't.  But what I wanted was some respect and for some responsibility on the part of the adults in the home.


I could go on all day long about how these people disrespect me but it isn't about me.  It's about the kid that tells me they can't walk down the steps without having to walk all over clothes, toys, books and god knows what else.  It's about the kid that tells me that mice run across their counter tops routinely.  It's solely about the kids.  And they have been told they are not to speak to me under any circumstances, which I knew would happen.  


Hell, I'm used to that.  I get it about once a year (just as a refresher I think). My family tells me that I am just like one of these people.  Headstrong, independent and likes to be right.  And they would be right.  I am all of that.  The difference is though, that I am NOT always right and am big enough to admit it when I'm not.  I don't get mad at someone because they pointed out my faults.  Christ, I have had my faults pointed out all my life.  By everyone around me.  Maybe that's the result of being the baby of the family or the result of "not measuring up."  


I have seen this person not speak to people (me included) for months, simply because they disagreed with them.  Last I checked, God is still up in Heaven and this person is NOT Him.  Even God gives people the right to think different and still loves them.  Yes, you are a far cry from God.  


As you can imagine, there are several "loved ones" around that are furious at what I have done.  Maybe the reason "outsiders" or "those related" get angry at the situation is because they know the situation is real and they should have stepped up and helped out before the situation got to this point.  Maybe they should have said "I see a problem here."  Yet nobody did.  Or maybe it's fear.  Fear that they have some of the same bad habits and they can't quite get over theirs.  And I'm used to being the "bad one" though so I just "did it."  Sometimes enough is enough.


My worst fear would be a house fire.  How the hell is everyone supposed to get out in time?  In the middle of the night when everything is dark, how does one negotiate themselves around the mess?



Neglect:  
The failure on the part of a person responsible for the care of a child to provide adequate food, shelter, clothing, or other care necessary for the child's health and welfare when financially able to do so or when offered financial or other reasonable means to do so.  


If you can't provide your family with the things you need, you need to get them to a place where it can be furnished; until you can bring them back home.  Even if that means you can't have your beer or poker or internet or outings with your friends.  Maybe the vacation money should be put toward a bill.  Running water and electricity should be an important thing to have in your home.  To anyone.  There are more than enough people in this world that would gladly take someone in to help them.  I would do it in a heartbeat.  If you need help, ask.  If I can help you, I will.  If I can't, I will help you find the help you need.


Mind you, you can not stay.  You must go home eventually.  


And isn't it some law (or maybe it's coming in the Obamacare mess) that parents have to have insurance on all their children?  Doesn't that mean ANY child living under your care has to be able to have health insurance?  


How would you feel if your child thought they had a seizure and you didn't take them to the doctor because you didn't have insurance for them?  Pretty sad situation if you ask me.  I don't know why any parent would chance that. 


But then again, I'm not a parent.  I couldn't possibly know anything.  I know that my husband lost his children for letting animals crap in their house; I know that my husband lost his children for not keeping their home safe for their children.  That's what it's all about.  


And I don't want these kids taken out of their home.  I don't want these kids separated from their parents.  That is not my goal at all.  That's just not a good situation for anyone.  It tears families apart in more ways than you can imagine.  Now you see why it took me so long to call.  


Please don't take my words and turn them around.  Because I am a mandatory reporter for child and adult dependent abuse, that doesn't mean anybody got abused.  Because they didn't.  And I have never said they have.  That is one thing I guarantee will never happen.  



Some of you may know what I am talking about and some may not.  This is just getting my side "out there" because there has already been enough mud-slinging.  I will be the "bad guy" for years to come and so be it.  As long as the situation gets fixed.  If you have questions, feel free to ask me.  I can't hide what I did.  But please don't assume you know what's going on if you don't.