2012/08/29

In preparation of

Getting ready for the big party.  The stay-cation.  I believe I mentioned it before.  It's been a long week, getting ready but I can't wait to have some friends around us.  

We currently have two air mattresses blown up and ready for sleepers to use. A third one will be coming tomorrow.  At least I think Matilda is bringing one.  I hope Matilda is bringing one!  Either way, we'll make do!

We have cleaned and cleaned and cleaned.  The type of cleaning I have been wanting to do for a couple of months now but couldn't get myself motivated to do it.  Well I'm motivated now.  Why?  Because we are having a bonfire.  Yes.  We really are.  I smile just thinking about it.  There may not be very many people that actually come to this thing and that's okay too.  I think the bonfire is what I need.  The people come after that........well, we will see.

Although the upstairs is far from being finished, and we still only have one bathroom, we have enough of the room done to shove all of us in there to sleep and have a hella fun time doing it.  One old fashioned slumber party coming right up!  Who knows, we may even have the pillow fight in our underwear!  And we may not.....just clarifying.  

Who knows WHAT is going to happen at this thing!  I haven't been to a boy/girl sleepover in...........ever???  That could very well be correct!!  Of course it's because I was such a good girl when I was growing up that I didn't go to things like that.  Uh huh, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So we are down to the nitty gritty on getting things done.  We should probably be doing some things tonight but we aren't.  Earlier we went out to the family farm to get some firewood and what an experience that was!  We jumped in the pickup and got a few blocks from home when Gee thought we should take the pistol out and pop off a few rounds.  So we go back home, get the bullets and take off.  Again.

Get out to the farm and he drives down this driveway that I KNOW if I took my car down, it would have ripped the whole bottom out of.  Of course that's why we drive the truck, huh!?!  The whole time we drove down that lane, I kept pushing in on the floorboard and holding my ass up off the seat.  You know....because I was afraid of "bottoming out."  Wow.  I. Am. An. Idiot.  What can I say besides I'm used to driving a CAR...not a giraffe???

We get into the field and Gee drives carefully around the edges of a field that looks like it's nothing.  Weeds.  And he is so precise about where he drives.  I didn't get that.  Whatever.  We drive through a patch of grass that had grown to about seven foot tall and I just KNEW we were going to either drop off into something we didn't know was there or we were going to drive over something that wasn't supposed to be there.  Like a cow.  

Not that there were any cows in this field.  There weren't.  So when we get past the twelve foot grass.....yes, I'm pretty sure it grew as we were driving through it.....there was a beautiful bean field.  My very first time being close up to beans like that.  Looked more like peas to me but hey, I'm not a farmer.   For a very good reason.  

So here's where it gets sticky because we can't go to the right because the beans are there.  We can't go to the left....very far...because there is a long row of trees.  Old trees.  Some with yucky looking apple thingys on them.  Some with just dry cracked branches sticking out.  I would be lying if I said that Gee didn't get hit in the head with some apple thingy branches and branches.  And I would also be lying if I said it wasn't funny.

I told Gee he was going to scratch up his pickup but then again...what the heck do I know, right???  He drives and tells me to watch and make sure he doesn't run over any beans.  Now that's a job.  "You're too close.  I said you're too close.  Shat get over NOW!  Oh okay.  You're okay.  You'll be fine.  Oh dammit, you're too close again."  *sigh*

I believe that experience gave me one gray hair.  That's okay though because the beans didn't die.  We get almost to the end of the bean field and Gee yells out "Oh shat there's a big tree down" JUST as we go over it AND THEN he slams on the brakes.  Guess what I did.  NOTHING.  Because my seatbelt locked up and choked the life out of me.  I'm sure I was clinically dead for a few seconds and am surprised I don't have a permanent bruise going vertically across my body.  UGHHHH!!!

He backs into this area in front of a bunch of trees that are down and we get out.  He is still in his work clothes.....tee shirt, shorts, work boots.  I, of course, had changed out of my work clothes into an old pair of shorts, tee shirt, and flip flops.  Looking back, I think I chose poorly on my outfit.  

So Gee would go out in the middle of all these branches and trees and find big ones, throw them out to me and I would lift them.....with all the puny strength I have in my weak little arms.....into the back of the truck.  We had done about eight or ten of them when all of a sudden all I could hear were bees.  It freaked me out!!  

I started looking around and the whole wasp incident ran through my head.  I tried to ignore it and told Gee we needed to hurry because I truly believed that we had irritated either a swarm of bees or a bee hive.  I couldn't see it but I could darn well hear it.  No matter how much I tried to put it out of my mind, I kept thinking of being stung by dozens and dozens of bees and swelling up and looking like that giant marshmallow man on Ghostbusters!

Okay okay enough is enough.  I told Gee I couldn't do it anymore.  I was scared.  He told me to get in the pickup and roll the windows up.  I followed orders and fast!! 

Did you know it was like ninety degrees today???  I figured it was either die from bee stings or from heat.  I don't like the thought of either.  I can think of funner ways to die.  But just when I started planning my services, Gee jumped in the truck and away we went.  Back up the hill.

Well here's something I hadn't thought of.  Now those trees are going to be on MY side.  So even though we are away from the bees...or at least I hoped we were.....I still couldn't roll my window down because I would get knocked in the head.  Oh no!  That wasn't happening!!  We take off and as we go under these trees, it gets dark on my side.  An eerie dark.  The kind of dark that makes you think "The Blob" is going to jump out and get you.  

I thought about closing my eyes but I immediately thought about how I wouldn't know...in the afterlife...what had killed me.  I can't have that.  I have to know what is killing me.  I am waaaaay too nosey not to know that!

Finally we got away from that and I didn't get hit in the head.  Nor did the window get broke out.  The windshield wiper did almost get taken away though.  A branch grabbed it and by golly was NOT letting go.  It broke off eventually.  Haha dumb branch.  That's what you get when you mess with MY man's truck!

Back to the top of the hill.  Carefully driving up the side of a field that obviously didn't have any crop growing in it.  It got the better of me so I asked Gee.....just to make sure I wasn't completely farm-stupid.....if there was anything planted there.  He assured me it was nothing and wasn't hardly tall enough to even do anything with.  That told me that it was probably supposed to be hay.  

We got back up to the driveway and did some shooting with the pistol.  Before we got one whole round popped off, I had four mosquitos that were feasting on my legs.  And those little peckerheads HURT!  I was ready to take the gun and shoot the mosquitos!!!  Three rounds was all I could take.  I had to get in that truck.  

I got home and put some bleach in the bath water and counted my bites.  How many do you think I had?  Let me tell you this.....I had less than twenty but more than ten.  Had.  That's the beauty of bleach.....and will power to not scratch them before you get in there.  Trust me.....that's a mistake you will only make once.

So the firewood is ready for my friends to come over.  I am almost completely content.  It's going to be a great weekend.  I hope you enjoy yours as well.  I will keep you posted on how it goes.  If we get arrested.  If we get a statue made of our naked butts running the streets.  

Like I said.....Who knows WHAT is going to happen at this thing!

Until next time.....keep warm; keep cool; keep happy.


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