Monday morning fog

Good morning and happy Monday to you!  It’s about 6:15 in the morning and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing awake.  Wide awake at that.  It was hot this morning.  I noticed that all three of my blankets were still intact when I awoke.  That was something new.  And surprising.  Considering I slept so awful.  If I had a dollar for every time I tossed, or turned, or just woke up…..

I MIGHT be awake so early because at about 5:15am, my dear sweet husband says…very, very loudly…*insert belly laugh* “Did you just loose an electric can opener on the highway?”  Why wasn’t I expecting him to say that?  Right next to my ear?  In the middle of the morning??  WHY wasn’t I expecting that??  As I turned away from him, I said “What ARE you talking about?”  Yes…I used my “snotty, with-attitude, and extremely irritated” voice.  He laughed again.  Not a muffled laugh.  Not a ha-ha.  A low belly laugh like he was sitting around the truck with his friends, telling stories. 

“Quintin are you really dreaming about an electric can opener??”  I know that when I ask him things in the middle of the night, he will never have any recollection of it.  Well, not never.  But it’s rare.  I came home one night and there he lay with the lamp on and his glasses still in tact on his face.  But he was sound asleep.  He usually rolls over or something when I come in using the nightlight on my phone but this night he did not. 

Heck, I was even amazed he found his way to the bedroom.  Usually falling asleep in his chair is his first choice.  But anyway, I walked over to his side of the bed and grabbed the remote.  He broke the rule.  The rule clearly states that the remote stays in the middle of the bed because someone *cough him cough* always falls asleep with the tv on and someone *cough me cough* always wakes up in the middle of the night to have to turn the tv off because he is in such a deep sleep, he doesn’t have a clue what he did with the remote.  *sigh*

So, he broke the rule and I had to go retrieve the remote.  No big deal.  But I needed the lamp on because I had already plugged my phone into the charger.  I don’t want to walk around the bed in the dark.  I might stub my toe or something!

So anyway, I say to him, “Quintin, take your glasses off and put them on your table.”  Nothing.  It’s silence.  So a little bit louder I repeat myself.  I get “mmmph” and he takes his glasses off his face and holds them out in his hand, toward the night table but not really anywhere close to the night table.  “Put your glasses ON the table before you break them.”  I sound like a mother and he sounds like a stubborn little kid.  Hehehe don’t tell him that.  I have to repeat myself two more times after that because I get no response from him. 

I could have just as easily went to his side of the bed and grabbed them from his hand and done it myself but that would have entailed him waking up in a panic, thinking the world had stopped revolving around him, and then we would have had to stayed up and talked…or watched tv…ugh!  I wanted to go to sleep dangit!

So the third time I loudly yelled for him to put them on the table, he did.  And then I instructed him on where to move his hand so he could turn his lamp off.  And it worked. See…wasn’t that easier than waking him up with a jolt?  Besides, anytime I can do this while he is asleep is bound to be good fodder for me and you. 

And the very next morning, he said to me.....”Did you yell at me last night?”  Of course by this point, I have slept and completely forgotten about the events of the glasses and remote and lamp and so on and so forth.  “Why would I yell at you?”  I was hoping he had a dream he finally remembered, I'll be honest.  “I must have dreamed it.  You were yelling at me about a table.”  Oh!!!!!  That!!!!!  insert belly laugh

Well, I have clearly forgotten where I was going and why I went this far back.  Clearly I need sleep but clearly it’s not happening.  I hope I get a nap in before work today or someone might get their ass handed to them.  Good luck to you if it is you.

Oh yeah, I asked him if he was REALLY dreaming about an electric can opener.  Phew, I didn’t think I was going to be able to recover without going back up and re-reading but alas….and his answer was “yes.”  He was asleep by the end of the word.  He’s so lucky that way.  I think I would have to stay up for five consecutive days to be that tired.  And then, I would probably be so tired, I wouldn’t be able to sleep.  Ever again.  And eventually I would never blink.  And I would have chronic dry eye and have to put drops in.  People would think I was crying all the time.  Nope, I can be in a dead sleep and hear my dog…who is downstairs…where I can’t even hear the tv when it’s on…get up to stretch or get a drink or whatever, and her little name tag will rattle against her collar. 

THAT is all that is needed to wake me up.  Not sure if it’s a good thing or not but I assure you if someone comes into my house when we’re asleep, I WILL shoot first and ask questions later.  And whoever is getting the questions thrown at them probably isn’t going to be able to answer. 

Well, that is all I have for now.  I think I will go make some cookie dough.  What else is there to do at 6:30 in the morning?  Dishes are all put away and counters are all cleared.  Time to get dirty again!!

Until next time…thanks for reading!!