Why I WON'T be attending this year

Here I am, coming off of a weekend all about family.  A family that I have always looked forward to being around.  A family that is about love and hugs and kisses and laughter and joking and...........FAMILY.  Make sense?  I have this warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach.  A happy warm. 

Burrowing deep inside though.....under that happy warm.....is a fire.  A small one at this point but I feel like I am feeding it and it's getting bigger and if I follow through with what I "should" do, it will be like adding fuel to the fire.  If I do what I "want" to do, the fire could go out.  Not completely out.....but it could go back to a smolder.  Until another time when it's not so dry out.  Where it could spread.  AND, if I do what I "want," it's going to probably piss off a couple of people. 

I'm trying to balance the scales out here and see which is the lesser evil...in the long run.  If I do what I "should," I am probably going to say some things to several people that are going to hurt; both me and them.  Not untruths by any means.....just very unpleasant truths.  If I go with what I "want," a person...or two...no, probably just one person...is going to be very unhappy with me.  *sigh*

I'm not good at trying to make people happy and I'm REALLY not good at choosing which people I need...or want...to make happy.  We all know we can't please everyone and we all know that people get their feelers hurt everyday but still.....I hate making these decisions.  Here goes my story.

Like I said at the beginning.....the family reunion that I just attended was awesome.  I look forward to seeing most of those people all year long.  It's my dad's side of the family.  He's one of twelve.  There have been family spats...family fights...but we just work through them and move on. 

In two weeks, I have another family reunion to go to.  It's my mom's side of the family.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my family.  The good parts,  the bad parts and the ugly parts BUT...someone has pissed me off.  Yes, someone has pissed in my wheaties and I don't like it one bit. 

One night Gee, Matila and I went back to the hometown and I was going to meet up with some classmates at the bar.  Well apparently I got the wrong memo because I ended up sitting with my family after all.  No matter.  We had a great time.  We were joined by many friends and Gee pumped me full of liquid balls (to reinforce the ones I apparently already have) all night.  We drank.  We danced.  We drank.  We laughed.  We drank.  We made fun of each other.  And then we drank some more. 

My cousin showed up.  I am going to name him Phil because I don't like that name.  Sorry if you are reading this and your name is Phil.  I don't like it.  Don't take it personally.  Unless you're my asshole cousin Phil. 

Then I want you to take each and every word as personally as you can.  Because in all honesty, I can't stand the fricken sight of you.

Phil is a divorced alcoholic man that thinks his opinion is the only opinion that matters.  If he says it, it is so.  Yeah...that's what he thinks.  Well, this particular night, ole Phil tried to get in my sister's face about being friends with his ex-wife on Facebook.  Yes, this is truly what started it.  I jumped right in the middle of it because NOBODY is going to talk down to MY Matilda!!  I told him that not only is SHE friends with the ex-wife but I am also friends with her and "I talk to her all time time and I still think of her as family." 

 Take that you bastard.

He pointed his stoopid little finger at me and said "What did you say?"  So I repeated it and added "What are you going to do about it?"  He looked me square in the eye and said, "You will be dis-owned."  Ha-ha-f***ing-ha Phil, you stoopid ignorant alcoholic doody head.  I turned around to walk out and started laughing at him.  He yells at me as I'm leaving, "Hey, dont you walk away from me!  Get back here!  HEY"  Yes, I left.  Because it was going to get ugly if I didn't.

Let me just get this out in the open here for everybody to know.  Phil's ex-wife is an amazing mom.  She has raised her children to be polite and caring.  I do still think of her as family and always will.  There are just people like that, ya know??!!??  She is beautiful inside and outside and would never harm a soul.  She and the children do not live here.  They live far away in another land.  A land of sunshine and tropical flowers.  -_-

The children get to come and see their dad quite a bit and spend most of their summers with him.  Well, guess what.  The minute they hit their dad's house, they aren't supposed to talk to me.  How childish is that?  And I don't blame the kids one bit.  At least not now.  They are young.  They probably feel like they have to do certain things to make their parents happy.  I'm good with that.  What has my smolders starting to flame is that he is filling their heads with bullshit that isn't right. 

If it wasn't for their mom, he wouldn't have those beautiful children.  But I'm sure he hasn't been sober long enough since they were born to realize that.  Without her, he would be alone.  And although that is what I wish for the ignorant bastard, he should count his blessings that he has them.  I can only imagine the kind of lifestyle he is teaching them though, when they are with him. 

"Kids, you can only drink THIS kind of beer.  And if you don't drink THIS MANY of THIS kind of beer EVERY day....well you are not a very good kid."  That's how I envision it. 
"Kids, you have to grow up thinking that if the people around you can't think EXACTLY how YOU think, well then.....you are an idiot.  And those people shouldn't be in your life.  No matter how good they are."  That's how I envision that too.

Did I mention that Phil is an alcoholic?  I probably haven't seen him one hundred percent sober for twenty years or more.  True story.  Grow up asshole.  Get help. 

Here's another reason I don't look forward to going to this side's reunion.  There is ALWAYS alcohol involved.  Not just one or two people that have a coozie.  Most everybody has beer or whisky or something of that sort.  It reminds me of my class reunions.  Which might be why I have never attended one.  When do people realize that not everything needs to revolve around alcohol?  When are we supposed to grow up?

Now, don't get me wrong.  I have done my share of drinking and partying in the past.  And once a year (if I'm lucky), I like to have a few beers.  But for the most part...I don't like to drink.  I just don't care for it.  And when I do have a drink, I have a glass or two of wine.  I do not drink and drive.  If I don't have a driver, I don't drink.  I guess I grew up somewhere along the line.

And now I have a job that I love.  A job that I take very seriously.  I may joke around a lot about my job and sometimes even at work but never when the general public is around and never AT THE TIME I'm doing it.  And at my job, I have seen mean drunks, funny drunks, violent drunks and drunk that can't stand up on their own.  These people aren't very impressive to me.  I don't understand the "alcoholism" part of drinking.  I don't know why it's fun for anyone or why they think it helps solve any problems.  Day after day after day after day.

Two years ago, this side of the family had a reunion and I did not attend. 

Reason #1: I guess there is some rule that if people work for hog facilities, they can't just go on anyone's property.  Something about bringing different germs, etc. back with them.  Well I have a cousin, and we will call him Phil also (for the same reason).  He is a brother to the first Phil.  (Good luck following this)  Well Phil works at one hog facility and my cousin's husband works at a different hog facility.  See how that could pose a problem?  My other cousin and her family wouldn't be able to attend because Phil was hosting the reunion at his home.  He could have hosted it anywhere else but he chose to do it at his home.  I didn't think that was fair so there was my first reason.

Reason #2: Phil's wife is a snatch.  I don't like her.  Can you tell?  (Obviously I mean the second Phil)  I was at their house the day before the reunion and was asking her questions (because I hadn't gotten any details) and she fired at me "I gave all the information to Marta.  If she didn't give it to you, that's your problem."  Phil's wife is a C U Next Tuesday -_-  Yes she is.  And her Phil is an alcoholic too.  He just doesn't know when to stop and he doesn't give a shit what he says, who he says it to, who he pisses off, nothing.  But if you piss HIM off, you are going to have to take an ad out in the damned New York Times to apologize.  And then it has to be followed up by an apology on national TV.  You know, because he's that important.  At least that's what he thinks.

Pshhh, kiss my ass Phil's.  I can't stand you.  And you (the first Phil more than the second) are the reason I am not going to attend another reunion.  The people that I need to see there aren't going to be there anyway.  They are all passed away.  The people that I want to see, I can see any day I want.  And I do.  Regularly.  Or I talk to them on Facebook. 

The one person that is probably going to get her panties in a wad is Marta.  She's the one hosting it.  And I hope she doesn't think I'm doing it for any other reason.  She knows how I feel about Phil.  Oh well *sigh* I can't please everyone.