On day two, we took a field trip to see how State Patrol works and listen to them moan and groan about all the kinks in their roads. After that, we got to see Homeland Security and let me tell you this.....I fell in LOVE with that building. We got to go into the Governor's secret office. Okay well maybe not secret office but it's a private room that is reserved for the Governor to work and sleep in if there is some kind of trama/disaster. "What a building" is all I can say. In all the years I have been around law enforcement, I thought I had pretty much seen all the cool stuff to see but this week has opened my eyes.
We also got to visit a bigger county Sheriff's office and see what goes on in their dispatch compared to ours. We were there probably fifteen minutes and I would bet they had at least twenty 9-1-1 calls. And that was a slow time of day for them. Yucky and no thanks. Take me back to the State Patrol and let me live in peace. It was a really neat experience though. At least I know where NOT to apply for a job!
The second day, our field trip came to us. It was the Emergency helicopters, Mercy One, that serves our areas. The helicopter was beautiful. I have pictures, don't worry!
Just another view of the cockpit. Is it even called a cockpit? Hell I don't know. I was having way too much fun to listen to anything they said! I even offered to get hurt so they could give me a ride in it. No dice! In this next one, you can see how they could strap me on that "gurney" and then open the back hatch in mid-flight and push my ass out. How's that for a kick in the pants? Just give me a parachute and I'll be fine. As long as I'm strapped to the bed.....and IT lands on all four wheels!! Or as many wheels as a gurney has. Or not. I don't know if it has wheels or not. Moving on! 
The woman with her back to me is the class instructor. Hell of a lady. And she's just short enough to walk under the heli. 
And here are the blades. At first look, I thought they looked sharp. Until I touched them. I know, I know.....why would I touch them if they looked sharp??? Hello!!! It's MEEEE!! You should know better.
So that was our fun for that day. The classes we had to sit in on were even pretty damned good. I have gained a lot of new resources for my job and even in my personal life. I have actually learned some new shit and am excited to see it put to good use. I'm sure my co-workers will roll their eyes at me and say "that is useless," but I'm going to try it anyway! Don't get in my way bitches. I will run you over!!
So today was day three. Remember in my last blog where I said I hadn't laughed my way out the door yet? Well let me tell you! Today it happened!! And it wasn't even MY fault!! We didn't get to go anywhere today and our lunch break was shorter than it usually is so we brought lunch today and a group of us sat outside with our lunches and shot the shit. It was so beautiful and it was still so FREEZING inside that we wanted to enjoy all the sunshine and warmth we could get. I wore a jacket all day if that tells you anything about how cold it got inside that building. Matter of fact, now that I think about it, practically everyone was wearing a jacket this week!
So we got pretty restless not being able to roam and do things so our last speaker of the day was a HUGE Y-A-W-N. I can't even begin to tell you how much I didn't like this guy and whatever it was he was trying to teach us. I mean, when you are trying to teach grown adults new things that pertain to their jobs, you DON'T need twelve examples for every fucking thing on your PowerPoint!! You just don't. We get it. We can figure this shit out. Just give us the information and move the hell on already.
And this man, he liked to amuse himself. The majority of his jokes only he got. How embarrassing for him. And he used his father having a heart attack as an example in a scenario and smiled the whole time he said his heart just exploded. Wow dude, you're a douche. End of story. After he had spoken for an hour, he let us take a break so he could go outside and smoke. Not a bad deal. Wish he smoked more. But toward the end, when it was time for the last break (yes, he talked too long), he said, "We will take a break and I will go out and have a cigarette." No sooner than he gets that out of his mouth, he starts hacking up a lung.
My trusty friend Jane is right next to me and she mumbles (a little too loudly I think), "Yeah, it sounds like you really need another one." I told myself to NOT laugh. Then what'd I do? I looked at Jane. She gave me this sly, evil look and I knew a giggle was building up. She giggled and I had to hold my laugh in because I knew it was going to be bad if I let that thing out. The more I told myself not to laugh, the harder it became to keep it in. Tears were coming. My face had to have been beet red. Everyone was wondering (of course they were) what the hell was going on! Finally he blurts out, "yeah go to break" and I was GONE. I no sooner got to the hallway and I couldn't hold it in any longer.
Laughed all the way down the hall. A river of tears streaming down my face. Right past the officer's classroom. I didn't even look in this time because I knew it would just elevate. Into the bathroom I go and about four girls are following me. They heard just what I heard Jane say. One girl said "I heard her and I just told myself to think of something sad." Shit, that started me up all over again. How the hell do you think of sad shit when you are having so much fun with something? Dammit Jane, you are killing me!!
Jane is one of those people that has a good eye for people. She can sit and look at someone; watch them; and relate them to an animal or something. She is the one that pointed out Big K as being like an Ostrich. Perfect! She pointed out FNG as being a Brown Recluse. She couldn't be more right. My girl Vivian and I have been hounding Jane for OUR animals. She has taken her sweet ass time with this too, let me tell you. She finally did it though. Took some prodding.....and a little...okay maybe a big...push from me on mine but we got them.
Vivian got the honor of being a Domesticated Feline. Fits her to a T! Or F... But yeah, that's her. She's the ruler of the roost in a quiet, peaceful manner. She demands and expects nothing but the best from anybody around her. I don't want to know if she licks herself though. There are just SOME things you don't need to know about your friends.
Now we get to mine. I love mine. Makes me excited. Some of you may have seen my Facebook status recently about how I hoped a Cobra could take out a Brown Recluse. Well, we already know who the Brown Recluse is so now you know what I am. Yes, I am the Cobra. She says just like the Cobra, I perch up and let my enemies know that if they don't back off, I will strike. And am true to my word.
So it's been an eventful week. Like I said, one more day. A little more learning, a test and run for the door. As much fun as I'm having, I'm ready to be back to work. I miss my jail. -_- I have prisoners in there waiting on me and I have a pretty good feeling that my co-workers are going to enjoy having us back around as well.
Before I close, I would like to say that today marks the sixteenth anniversary of the day my dad died. Some years it's harder than others. Especially when the seventeenth falls on a Friday; since that's the day he died.
I miss you dad. I know you're up there in Heaven cheering on every one of us kids. I can feel you around me lately. Thanks for the push. Thanks for the self-confidence. Thanks for loving me. Until we meet again.
And until next time.....
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