Today I was called into work early. About five and a half hours early. Yep, that means we're goin for a ride. And today I got to ride with The Big K. As I was getting myself around to go, I had visions of how long and boring this trip could be. I mean, it's not like we have SO MUCH in common that we can talk the whole way. And by whole way, I mean three hours one way. That also means we had to come home. Almost four hours that way. And it wasn't because we got lost either. We had "things" to do that took time out of our driving.
If I told you what it was, I'd have to shoot you and if I shot you, who would read my blogs? See, I'm only looking out for myself after all. -_- At one point, on the police radio, we heard an ambulance call go out and the patient was "lethargic but still breathing." Big K thought they were maybe going to get DIC because that described him to a T! Lethargic but still breathing. Hahaha yes, that's him!
Anyway, I don't know if I have EVER seen so many Chevy Impala's on a single day as I have seen today. I think the reason they stand out so much to me is because I want one SO BAD! I think they are beautiful and they drive and ride NICE! One of these days, I will have one though. Just made me jealous to see that many of them today.
We stopped about seven miles before our destination to the place and filled the tank with gas and I got a cup of coffee and he got himself a box of Whoppers. As we were going up the road, he is eating his Whoppers and we are making small talk, which, on the way up we didn't seem to have any trouble filling the time with things to talk about. Seems we do know some of the same people and pretty much think they same way of them. But back to the story at hand. As we approach a stoplight, he sets his box of Whoppers on the dash and we talk about which entrance we are supposed to go in, yada yada yada and then the light turns green. The car ahead of us goes and then we go.
Now, we are in a Chevy Silverado Truck folks and I don't know how many of you know what those dashes look like in them but on the sides of the dash, they have a little place where you could slide something in there and it could easily set on top of the dash. But in this truck, nothing is in there. It's just open. It's like the dash cuts off early on the ends or something. The force of the truck going forward makes the box of Whoppers slide toward the windshield and when the truck actually gets to the speed it's supposed to be going, the Whoppers came sliding out at him. Right down this little area where it has nothing from stopping it. All I can see is Whoppers falling off his dash like little soldiers jumping out of an airplane.
I got to laughing because #1) he wanted to stop in the middle of the intersection and save all his little Whoppers; #2) the site of all these little brown men jumping to their deaths; #3) I was so damn tired from being cooped up in this truck for almost three hours by now, I needed something to release the tension and THIS was it! Tears are running down my cheeks and he's laughing and cussing. I can not stop and all he can do is shake his head. Shit I wish I had a video camera for that!
He assures me that there are only "a few, maybe even four, that hit the floor." When we got to our destination, I saw him pick at least seven off the floor and about five out of the pocket in his door. The laughter was just about non-stop at this point. Who'd a thunk this trip was going to be so much fun?? I told him that Whopper trick was well worth the drive. I won't even tell you what he did with the Whoppers he picked up off the floor. All I can say is I'm glad he had just cleaned the truck.
As we neared this small city, I told him I felt like we had been driving forever and he made the comment that we better have passports because he was SURE we were driving into Canada! Dammit! As we pull into town though, there's a sign that reads "Cancun!" Holy shit Batman!!! We have been going the wrong way the whole damned time! I thought we were going north!! Oh damn, it's good to be home.
Coming back south, we had to take a detour because there was an accident on the interstate. Apparently a tire caught on fire and it was filled with pudding cups. I don't make the news folks, I just report it. If you don't believe me, ask KCCI. They are the ones that reported it. So yeah, can't wait to tell the Sheriff about THAT.
That was pretty much the highlight of my day. So I got to leave work early tonight which is a huge plus because I have the next three days off. Sounds like a great deal considering I just had two days off over the weekend but all my fun will come to an end on Monday when I have to go back to school for work. Yucko! Oh well, take the good with the bad. I hope this school is as much fun as the last one was. A whole week of "Dude!," "Woohoo" and just plain BORING from the instructors. I don't even remember what I learned other than twice I laughed myself completely out of the room because if I had stayed in, I wouldv'e disrupted the whole class.
Lord knows I don't like stuff like that to happen. We had a fingerprint class in the last one that I was pretty stoked for because at the time, I really needed some tips and tricks on fingerprinting people better. Well, they didn't even teach us anything like that. Fingerprint class was to teach us how the PROFESSIONALS look at fingerprints and determine which prints are in certain cases and which are not. Like I give a crap about that......... But the instructor was so passionate about it. You could just tell that he wasn't married and didn't have any kids. He loved what he did way too much. And we did find out for sure that he wasn't married. Ever. Every time he started on a new subject, he started with "DUDE!" Shit, after about fifteen minutes of mimicking him, I got the giggles and got the gal next to me giggling. We got to where we would look at each other and say "DUDE!" right along with him. Then everybody would turn at look at us. Hence me laughing so badly that I had to leave the room.
I prayed all the way down the hall that day for the next classroom (that was holding a room full of policemen and women) to NOT be in session because the bathroom was on the other side of it and I HAD to let it all out. Thankfully, the class wasn't there and as soon as I hit the inside of the women's bathroom, I laughed. And I laughed. And I laughed. Until my sides hurt. Until my eyes were dried out. And when I was all done, I started for the door, thought about the instructor and started laughing again!! I'm sure I laughed for a solid fifteen minutes all by myself. Geezus, can you imagine what someone would have thought had they walked in on me? My face all red, tears streaming down my cheeks; yeah it was such a sight. By the time I got back to the classroom, it was over.
Thank you God for guiding me through that one. I bet you just can't wait to hear all about my next week of school. Don't worry, you will.
I think that's the brunt of the damage I can do for today. I will let you know if I overlooked anything major but in the meantime, be good and be lazy. Yes, you read that right. Be lazy. Until next time.
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