Just odds and ends today

Today's blog is going to be another "wing it."  That's something we never say at work because whenever we decide we are just going to "wing it," shit hits the fan.  Every time.  How bad could it get here, huh?  I have spent the past two days at school and have had a blast so far.  We even had a "field trip" today!  We are SOOO lucky!!  If we would've been told to bring a sack lunch, it would have made it so "juvenile."  Oh well, can't have everything.  


I have not had the opportunity to laugh myself out of the classroom yet.  It has been too interesting.  I may even walk away from this thing on Friday with NEW knowledge in my head.  Scary, huh???  It's a good thing I haven't had to do that yet.  The laughing thing.  The instructor seems to really like me.  I don't wanna go fucking that up.  At least not yet.  She still has a test to administer!  And since the door is in the front of the room and I'm sitting in the back, it makes sense that I should be good this week.  Hmph!


Yesterday, I had a whole "she-bang" of crap out on the table to help get me through the day, if needed.  Gum, cough drops, gum, my journal, gum, water, gum, coffee, cough drops, mints.....and in my goodie bag (Mary Poppins bag as Jane calls it), I had a magazine, a book and my Kindle Fire.  Yes, I was prepared.  The guy sitting in front of me made a comment how I had just about everything I should need.  Today though, I didn't take my bag.  I took my pretty pretty purse instead.  Had to take the handgun out so I could make room for all the fun goodies but I didn't need many of those today either.  Either schools are getting easier or I'm maturing.  Yeah...I'm all for the easier thing too.  Maturing scares me.  Anyway, the guy in front of me made a comment that my table was pretty empty today.  I think he wanted some of my goodies.  I'm contemplating taking the bag again tomorrow.  I have new treats.  -_-


I do that at work too.  Sometimes I take my pretty pretty purse and sometimes I don't.  When I do, it stays in my locker because I am bogged down with my Mary Poppins bag full of fun, my coffee cup, a lunch bag (pretty pretty pink that my co-worker always mistakes for my purse and tells me why purse is getting cold) with food and bottled water and usually some kind of charger stuck in there.  Once I left my cell phone in there.  Yeah, that was funny.  The refrigerator was ringing.....And if you think that's bad, you should see my pockets.  I will have my personal keys hanging on a loop, work keys hanging on a loop (it's no wonder my pants sag), my medicine in a pocket, money in case we end up on a transport, work USB because I'm afraid I'll lose it if I don't take it with me (paranoid!), and then when I get to work, handcuffs and a portable radio are added to my belt.  Crap!  What a clusterfuck!!  Oh and Chapstick.  I always keep chapstick in my pocket.  You never know what you're gonna need!

So now I will rewind a little bit because Matilda has pointed out that I have, two weeks in a row, forgotten to mention the "famous" face we keep seeing at the races.  Oh, did I say famous face?  No no no, that's not what I meant.  I meant famous HAIR!  It took me a little while to actually get my phone in place to get a picture.  

  See.....I barely got it.  Anyway, it doesn't show much of the hair.  Let me see what else I got here.....

Okay, if you know this guy.....first and foremost, I don't want you to think I am making fun of him BUT his hair is just ridiculous.  Everytime I look at him, I think of Justin Bieber.  And if you like the Bieb.....well I can't promise I won't make fun of HIM.  Bratty little haircut that he is.  When this kid walks by me and Matilda at the races, we can't help but giggle a little.  We'd bust a move to a Bieber song but we really don't know any child pop.  I don't get it.  

His hair is like a train wreck.  I can't take my eyes off of it.  If you know this kid, please put him out of my misery and thanks in advance.  And speaking of songs, Matilda and I are pretty sure we could sing the National Anthem at the races if they'd let us.  Even those high notes that recording has in it.  Okay well.....maybe not the high notes.  I mean, if WE sang it, we wouldn't NEED that recording.  We both know the words.  The notes.  The rhythm.  Yes, we could sing it.  Then WE would be famous and EVERYONE would want our autographs and the paparazzi would follow us everywhere.  We'd never get a moment's peace!  *sigh*  Maybe we better not sing it, Matilda.  Maybe we better just be our own best kept secret!!


So have I mentioned my homemade burritos yet?  Gee LOVES them.  I think he's ready for me to make some more but geez!  The other day at work, we were watching the Food Network and this teaser kept coming on and they deep fried some tortillas that had cheesecake wrapped up in them.  Of course Gee loves cheesecake but I do not.  And I can't have it.  So when I was doing the worst chore in the world at Hy-Vee, I made up my own concoction.  I got some wheat tortillas and put inside a mixture of cream cheese, shredded cheese, spinach (after I cooked it), spices, and spicy Italian sausage.  Rolled them up and put them in the deep fat fryer.  Now this is something we don't normally do but after seeing those cheesecake things, I really wanted something good and greasy.  


They were A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!  Gee ate four that night and had two the next night.  Usually he won't eat leftovers but he went crazy for them.  And he says he doesn't like spinach and these things were FULL of spinach and he couldn't get enough.  I was very pleased with them.  Maybe in a couple of months, we'll have them again.  The Food Network drives me insane with food sometimes so I was glad to finally come up with a concoction that stemmed from there but wasn't THEIRS.  


Okay, here's something a little entertaining.  I got this in my email a while back.  I am always expecting these things to jump out and bite me or something so when they don't it surprises me.  You gotta watch this.  Now I will warn you.  It's a huge python.  My god is it huge.  It's a whole thirty five seconds long.  Just watch it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QJBdyaGYv0.

Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?  Okay, this one makes me nervous EVERYTIME I watch it.  It's a frog.  Yes Bertha, I know you're afraid of frogs but you HAVE to see this one.  Really gets me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wosEsvYxlO8&feature=related .  Had you on the edge of your seat, didn't it?  Yeah, I know.....animals get to me.  All of them.  Even the ones I don't care about.  


In other news, I was on Yahoo! the other day and they have this tab called "trending now."  So I click on it and what do I see?  I see that Groupon is still stalking me.  I used to get texts from them but anytime I was in the city, that's when they sent me the "$10 off a $600 purchase at PetSmart."  But when I wasn't going to be in the city, that's when I would get "$25 off a $50 purchase at JCPenney" or something useful!  Come on people, get with the program!  So I "opted out" of that crap.


Something else on the Yahoo!'s "trending" page was Asthma Inhalers.  Yes, you read that right.  I guess asthma is IN???  I mean, who cares if you can breathe or not.  As long as you have asthma, you are IT these days.  Wow.  That's about as brilliant as the woman suing Nutella because she found out it's NOT a healthy alternative for her child.  Are you fucking kidding me??  There's a reason they have labels you dipshit!!  I was reading through the comments people left on the page and one of my favorites was this, "Nuts.  Pun intended.  We live in an idiotcracy."  That comment was made by Slammin' Sam.  Good one slammin' Sam.  Good one.


Well, I figure I've bored you to tears by now.  I will put YOU out of your misery now and stop the blog.  Until next time.  Princess Amelia is having a hard time finding the book she is needing to complete the Queen's blog but she is still working at it.  Until next time my friends.  Be nice and be cool.