My last blog was too long for me to add the conversation that Aunt Grace and I had today. It's a bit morbid.........or maybe a whole lot morbid...............depends on your taste. You have been warned. It isn't going to be pretty.
I have always had a weird fascination with body parts and dead people. Now, it took me YEARS to be able to actually touch a dead body but I think if a person is on the OTHER end of the stick..... you know, the end that is draining, poking and prodding, it's got to be better. Better than the end that is emotionally attached and all you want is for that person to come back to life but at the very same time KNOWING that if they sit up, you will run for the fucking door.
I was telling Aunt Grace that I should have went to school to be a mortician. And then, by the end of the conversation, she had me doubting that I could do it. Here's why. I told her that I would like to use super glue and try to see how much pulling the human body can take. For instance..... how about putting super glue on the bottom eye lid and holding the eye shut for about thirty minutes; so it gets a nice good dry on it; and then putting the head in a vice type thingy and slowly cranking that eye open to see JUST HOW GOOD that glue is. I wanna know if it would rip one of the eyelids off or if it would just tear it open at the "seam."
Aunt Grace says "Why use a vice when you can just take a razor blade and cut it open where you glued it." Yikes! I couldn't do THAT! There's a fricken eyeball in that socket lady!! Well, unless they donated their eyes. Then I could do it. If the socket didn't have an eye. Ohhh dear, I don't wanna slit their eyeball open with a razor blade. Even I have some morals dammit. That's the kind of stuff that makes my butt pucker. Truly and honestly.
I'd like to do that vice thing with the chest too. And the legs. And arms. Just to see what kind of pressure the dead human body could take. But then again, we all know that as a mortician, that's the shit that would get you sued. And out of business. And run out of town. And maybe hung by a rope out in a barren, remote stretch of desert. Unless they don't have trees out in the remote desert. I'm betting they don't. But they could sure tie my ass to a giant cactus and let the scorpions kill me and the coyotes eat me.
Okay enough of THAT shit. Hey, I'm just here to ramble on about the thoughts rolling around in my head. It doesn't mean I'm going to DO it! Take a chill pill. You know we all have our sick thoughts and fantasies. Mine just happens to involve the human body. Sue me. Aunt Grace tells me that they made a movie about me long ago. It's called "The Bride of Frankenstein." Then she gave me a name. A new name. I guess she doesn't think Amelia T. Bedelia has any business putting people in a vice and ripping them to shreds. I can't remember the name she picked now. Maureen or something odd like that. Maybe she will actually read this and leave a comment. -_-
I have to be honest. When she first said "They made a movie about you," I thought she was referring to one of my favorites.....Saw.....one through five; any of them. I love those movies. Especially the parts where I have to cover my eyes and look through my fingers while inhaling with a loud "sssssssssss!!!" Yes, those are awesome movies. And if you think THOSE movies are good, you should see how I act when I watch the Paranormal movies!! That's another blog though.
This is it for tonight. I hope your big ole ball of bright blue and green has been replaced with a smaller, less hot ball of yellow and has a man in there getting ready to go to sleep. I wish for you a peaceful night my friend. And sweet dreams. Not the ones where someone gets chopped into a million pieces and put on cupcakes as garnishes. No, not those dreams. -_-
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