To My Second Mom

We all know that saying goodbye to someone we love is one of the hardest
things we have to do.  No matter how many times we have to do it, it doesn't
 get any easier.  Matter of fact, I sometimes think it gets harder.

You may remember in my past blog, I have referred to a super awesome lady
that is a close family friend of ours.  I had named her "Petunia" for the sake
of the blog.  Well, this morning I get to do something that I have never
done in my blogs before.  I get to retire a name; a character, if you will.
Although the name/character is retired, my love for this woman will never die. 
Her name is Kathryn and today I have to say my final goodbye on earth to her.
She has been dealing with COPD and heart issues for quite some time and I think
her body was exhausted. 

Kathryn was one of my mom's best friends from the time they were teenagers till
death.  To me, she was a second mom.  I know she loved me as her own because she
treated me as her own.  Growing up, I spent A LOT of time at their house.  Her
daughter Sadie and I were pretty much inseperable for most of our childhood. 
If Sadie got in trouble for something, I did too.  Like I said, treated just
like one of her kids.  I may not have always liked it but that's just how it was.
Looking back today though, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I'm just glad I never
got spankings at their house because shit, I got enough of those by myself at
home!

One time Sadie, a neighbor girl and I had a contest to see who could cry first
at the song "Billy, don't be a hero."  Yes, that was our contest.  And what a
contest it was!  There was no prize.  WHAT WERE WE THINKING???  I was
 determined to win this contest so I thought of every bad thing that had ever happened
 to me.  And I won.  I won nothing but I won!  So the next day, we are in the living room
at Sadie's house and "Billy, don't be a hero" comes on the radio and what do you think
happens?  Yes, I start crying.  Chripes!!  Kathryn comes into the room and asks
what I was crying about and we told her about our contest from the previous day and
now whenever I heard that song, it reminded me of all the sad things that I can
remember.  Oh man, she was mad.  She told us that that was a stoopid contest and
"what were you thinking??"  She said it loudly though. 

I could go on all day about my adventures with Sadie but I want this to be about
Kathryn.  My little tribute to her.  And speaking of little, Kathryn was a short woman. 
Not midget short but short enough.  Not so short that I was paralyzed with fear
either.  She must have been "adult" height though because if she wasn't, I wouldn't
have a fear of those damned midgets today.  I remember calling her "Shorty" from a
very young age.  I bet I didn't even call her that because she was short either because hell,
 when I was young, I wasn't tall by any means.  I must have heard someone call her that
name.  I will blame all my siblings for that.  -_-

I always associate Kathryn with "Judas Priest."  No, she didn't like rock n roll.
That could have possibly been my first question to her as a teenager.  No, she was
always saying "Well, Judas Priest!"  It seriously took me years to figure out that
she was saying that as an exclamation.  In MY bubble, Judas Priest was someone
listened to, not something you exclaimed!! 

I remember when Kathryn used to walk to our house to have coffee with my mom. 
She lived on the other side of town and she got to where she could walk that route
in minutes.  I was amazed at how fast she walked.  Once, I walked home with her
so I could go play with Sadie and I couldn't keep up with her.  And I was a kid!!
That woman burned up the sidewalk as she went.  I always wanted to be able to do
that (and eventually learned how to speed walk). 

Kathryn is Jeannie's Godmother and Jeannie is having a difficult time understanding
that Kathryn has passed away.  I hope to be able to talk to Jeannie about it tomorrow.
Jeannie thinks that Kathryn is "sleeping."  Jeannie has a hard time with death.
She used to think that if you went into the hospital, you would die while you were
there.  Now she thinks that if someone goes into the hosptail, they should come out with
a baby.  HA!  I'm glad she didn't know Kathryn was in the hosptial for a little while.
Anyway, Jeannie now thinks that  if someone has died, they have fallen and that caused
their death.  *sigh*  We will get it worked out. 

About a month ago, Kathryn had a spell at her granddaughter's wedding rehearsal and
she had to have CPR performed and she got to ride on one of those cool helicopters
that I talked about in my previous blogs.  A couple of days later, she got to come home
and I am so thankful that I was able to get down and visit with her.  I got to hear
all about the rehearsal and she told me how her granddaughter and new grandson
came to see her in the hospital the next day with their wedding "gear" on.  She
had such a big smile on her face.

Kathryn has a massive amount of family.  Another reason she reminds me of my mom.
She loved every one of them too.  She talked about them with love in her heart
whether they earned it or not.  She loved being a grandma and was thrilled being a
grandma great.  I know that she wished she could've done more for each of them but
I know, as they do, she did her share and a little more. 

Kathryn and I spent HOURS playing the "dice game."  It's kinda like Farkle (I'm told)
but it's not.  I love that game.  To this day.  A few times I have had to call her up
to ask about rules but I think I have it down now. 

Kathryn once told me a story.  About a fruitcake.  Not a human fruitcake, a real edible
fruitcake.  Now, you may find this to be a little unbelievable but it's very true. 
Her brother was in a war (I don't know which it was) and his mom had made him a fruit
cake and packed it up real good and mailed it to him.  Overseas.  Nothing was ever
said about that fruitcake and it just kinda went to the "wayside." 

Forty years later (don't quote me on that but I'm pretty darn sure that's what she told
me) a package comes in the mail.  It's addressed to the boy but has been returned
"undeliverable."  They open up the package and lo and behold, there is that fruitcake
from so many years before.  They laugh and poke at it.  Feels ok.  They sniffed it.
Smelled fine.  So they get out the knife and slice it up.  And eat it.  All of it.  I
couldn't believe it.  I about gagged right in front of her when she told me that story. 
I didn't believe her of course but my mom told me it was true. 

So, for Christmas a few years later, I got her a fruitcake and wrapped it up and gave it
to her.  She thought that was so funny.  The following year, I got it back.  Well, I
told her "if you think I'm going to eat this thing, you are sadly mistaken!"  She told me
to "wait a few years before I ate it."  So I did.  Well.....I waited anyway.  Until
the next Christmas and then she got it back.  And so it began.  The passing of the fruitcake.
One year I had it delivered in a bouquet of flowers.  I wanted to have it sent to about
ten different countries and have it be stamped but never got that done.  ACtually
I thought she still had the silly thing but when I was cleaning out my closets the other
day, there it was.  I don't even remember how she got that thing back to me!!
I could go on with stories about Kathryn for hours but the fact of the matter remains.....
I have to go say goodbye today.  Just the thought of this brings tears to my eyes and
upsets me all over again.  I wasn't ready for her to leave me.  Her kids weren't ready for
her to leave them.  But we don't get to pick that time, do we. 

Kathryn, if you are looking down on me right now and reading what I am typing, I want you to know
that you have made a HUGE impact in my life.  I cherish each and every memory I have of you
and I am so thankful that you were such a big part of my life.  I know you're in a
better place now.  With your loved ones that passed before you.  Back, hand-in-hand with
Larry; playing cards with my mom and dad; hugging your parents and grandparents.  I want
to thank you for being there when my mom wasn't here.  Thank you for listening and for
helping whenever you could.  You were a good mom.  To your kids and to me. 

I love you <3