The guy I was working with was watching sports news. I know.........B-O-R-I-N-G!! They're showing this little mexican man (possibly the scary one I dreamt about that got the crap beat out of him, I don't know) just POURING his heart out to the camera. You could tell that this man had done something wrong and not only knew it, but was sorry for it. Some people you can just tell, ya know. So we turn it up and listen in.
Turns out Ozzie Guillen (gee-un, not gee as in gee whiz, gee as in gut minus the ut and add ee like in weeeeeeee), a baseball coach for the Miami Marlins "accidentally" said that he admired Fidel Castro. Beings most of his team and most of the surrounding community (that just paid $634,000,000 for a new stadium) are Cuban-Americans, this did NOT go over very well. He has been suspended for five games and most fans and players want him fired.
Listen, I understand that Fidel Castro ranks right up there with Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden BUT I do believe that people have the right to say who they admire, even if we don't like who that person is. In his defense though, he WAS trying to say "I cannot believe somebody who hurt so many people over the years is still alive." I mean, can't you see how the two sentences are almost completely alike???
"I admire Fidel Castro."
"I cannot believe somebody who hurt so many people over the years is still alive."
Yep! Looks exactly the same to me!! Hahaha what a dick.
Moving on I have a story of a sensitive nature.
If you are eating, you may not want to read this.
If you have a sensitive stomach, go no further, and
if you are a member of PETA, please understand that this story, albeit true and very very real...................was an accident. If you can't accept that then you can bite my ass. And then get the fuck off my page.
I know a gal that loves her animals. She has some dogs. She has some cats. She talks about them like they are her kids. You can see it in her eyes, that she loves them. Well, the other day she was doing laundry and you know how you open the dryer and start throwing things in it from the washer? Well she was doing this and apparently her cat jumped in the dryer. She didn't know the cat jumped in the dryer.
She dried it. For seventy minutes. Probably the most wrinkle free pussy there ever was. Some have said that this could be the hottest her pussy has ever been in years. Others say it may be the driest her pussy has ever been in years. Did someone hear a drum?? Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I can't make this shit up!!
The poor cat did not make the seventy minute roller coaster ride around the sun. The very hot sun. Dammit. When I think about that cat, it makes my heart hurt to think about the painful miserable death it had. So unfair. I have to admit though that the next time I see this chic, she better not be sporting new furry slippers (Yes, she was drying her shoes) or hairy shoes or I'm going to hurl all over her. I will projectile vomit. Poor pussy.
R.I.P. pussy cat. I'm sorry you had to die that way. Your mommy is sorry too. :(
Moving on. Animal deaths hurt me. That's why I have to joke. It gets me through it.
Someone told me today that they put their kitten in the dryer once because it kept getting in there every damned time they opened the door. So they left the kitten in one time, turned it on, let it go around 2 or 3 times. When they opened the door that kitten jumped out and never looked back. It won't even go in the laundry room to this day.
This is exactly why I did not reproduce people. You can thank me by sending cash, gift cards, or flowers. (Lillies are my favorite. Do you know why???) Credit cards are fine too. As long as you just send it to me along with any pin numbers I may need. Oh yeah.....you won't be getting it back.
I guess a lady in one of our bordering counties, put her child in the dryer to show him how hot it got because he must have been curious. So she put him in the dryer and turned it on! What the hell??? Are people insane? Yes, she lost the rights to her child. And got charges pressed against her.
What would you think if you opened your home to your family to come spend some time with you and one of them just verbally unleashed on you (in your own house, mind you) because you wouldn't let their children play with their toys at the table and they over-rid your rules. I can't believe the nerve of kids these days. I'm talking about the "older" kids now. The ones that are grown fucking adults and act like nothing matters but THEM. The ones that can't see past their own fucking noses and understand that when THEY are guests in SOMEONE else's home, THEY MUST OBEY THE RULES OF THAT HOUSEHOLD.
This happened to someone that I love very very much and the thought of it makes me want to go out and slap the shit out of someone. But then again, that would only take one slap because as far as I'm concerned, this person IS shit. Ha! How do you like THAT? And I don't give a rat's fucking ass if they read this. If you do, grow the fuck up and control your damned children. Don't make someone else look after your kids in their home. Read a Ms. Manners book and learn to take care of your own.
"Kids" just have no respect for anyone. They look out for #1 because #1 is the only one that matters. When did we lose sight of respect for our elders? When did we stop caring about those who care about us? Makes me so sad. Don't shit where you eat people. Duh, it's a no-brainer. Again, if this is about you, you need to take a L-O-N-G hard look at yourself in the mirror and understand that the world DOES NOT revolve around you! It's time to take care of your elders and the ones that love you for you.
In other news, a baby that was pronounced dead by morgue staff in an Argentina hospital, was found alive.....in her casket.....on the morgue slab. The parents wanted to go down to take a picture of her and to say good-bye one last time. When they opened the drawer to pull the casket out, they heard a cry. They found a pry bar and opened the casket to find a very much alive baby girl that grasped onto her mother's finger when offered. Little Luz Milagros, which means "Miracle Light," is in critical condition but doctors expect her to continue to better health. Five members of the morgue staff are suspended and being investigated.
Wow. What if they hadn't went back down to say good-bye? That is awful but it's awesome. God was surely leading the way to her. Freaky deaky shit happens in our world, huh? I guarantee you if that happened to me, I would've went to a different hospital. Jus' sayin!
Okay I am going to let you off the hook. Who knows, I may come back again later, you never know. After all, I haven't even had dinner yet. Who knows what kind of boost I will get after having a couple of carbs!!
Smile...............:) It makes others wonder what you're up to!
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