I wear me out

Hey hey!  You know that saying "I'm back and I'm better than ever?"  Yeah well............. I'm just back.  This day has felt about as long as my night felt.  Like an eternity!!  I'm supposed to be rolling out cinnamon rolls right now (second batch of my county firemen thank you) but figured I would let the dough rise a little more.  I'm procrastinating, it's ok.  I see nobody sent the dogs out looking for me because it had been a few days since my last blog.  It's ok.  I understand.  I think the dogs are tired too. 


 Honestly, I thought I would be feeling so good by now but I'm not.  If anything, I feel worse.  I wish they would get this stupid insulin level thing figured out so I can get through a day without feeling like I have been run over and don't physically NEED a nap.  Sometimes even the MERE THOUGHT of getting out of bed THE NEXT DAY exhausts me.  Like right now.  I can't even think about getting up in the morning for work.  I can't explain it.  I'm not 100% better at what I eat but I'm damn straight a lot more conscious of what goes in my mouth, how much of it and at what times.  *Sigh*  Back to the doctor in 2 days.  I hope I can drag my ass out of bed that morning because the way my sleep schedule is rolling around, 0830 on Wednesday sounds like it SHOULD be right in the middle of it.  


Have you ever had one of those dreams that took your whole night?  Or most of it anyway?  And in the end, made you go "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED??"  I've had some pretty vivid dreams and some pretty strange ones about strange people but this one tops it for ABSOLUTELY ABNORMAL of the year.  Here's how it goes.  I was working at a new jail facility with Lily and Vivian.  We had boxes of dry goods, canned foods and just miles of jars of peanut butter stockpiled EVERYWHERE from the front door of our facility all the way into the kitchen.  The kitchen, by the way, is about 100 feet from the front door.  That's a lot of food.  And this kitchen was a full kitchen.  It had a stove, sink, microwave, fridge, everything!


So Lily had made meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner for the three of us girls.  They are just sitting down to eat and I said "I'm not hungry so I'm going for a walk."  As I started to walk out another exit, I hear the front doors open and look down the hall to see The Big Kahuna and Dic walking in, both holding onto a Mexican man.  And that man was PISSED!!  I don't know what had happened to him but he was all cut up and bleeding everywhere and trying to get out of their grasp.  Behind them follow two more Mexican men.  One of them will not stop crying.  He just watches what is going on and cries.  The third Mexican man just stood there, looking around, speaking Spanish as fast as his mouth would go.  


The Big Kahuna & Dic take the first man and strap him to what looks like (to me) one of those tables you lie on in the emergency room.  They told me to"book him in and don't worry about printing him.  We can get that done later."  So I book him in and then I leave.  I don't know what happened to the three Mexican men at this point but I went on my walk.  


I remember being at a point where I knew it was time to head back to the jail because a severe ice storm hit; just out of the blue.  Good indication to get inside, huh?  Tree limbs were falling everywhere.  I had to crawl through some of them and when I made it out of the trees, I had to walk really careful because it was so slick.  I didn't have a coat and I was getting cold.  I look down and suddenly, in my right hand, is a nice warm bowl of tomato soup.  YUMMO!!  I ate that shit right up!!  Actually I drank it.  When I finished it, I was back at the jail.  


Vivian had come outside for something, I don't know what.  We went into the back part of the jail that went into a basement area.  It was a NICE basement area.  It had a family room type setting in it and it joined up with a neighbor's basement.  We'll call that neighbor Fern, for this story's sake.  Fern was there and we stopped to talk to her.  She asked if we could get her shoes from our side because her cat always took off with them and left them on our side.  So Vivian gave her a pair of shoes and I found another pair of shoes under the steps, and handed them to her as well.  We visited for a bit and then went on.  


When we were upstairs, I went back to check on my prisoners and the whole "East side is dark.  There is no electricity."  I hear Lily say "Oh great!" and then someone, maybe Vivian, say that the prisoners are in the basement jail.  (Wow, a basement jail!)  So, I head down this spiral staircase made of iron & steel and enclosed by iron and steel.  There are no lights in the staircase and the only light I have to go on is from the cells themselves.  So I walked down some steps and came to a cell door and as I went to look inside, the prisoner that I had booked in earlier, jumped out in front of me and scared the B-geezus right out of me!  About gave me a heart attack in my dream.  (I hope not to have that dream anytime)  So I proceed to go down more steps to check other prisoners and I walk with my back up to the wall so they can't see me coming and hopefully can't hear me.  


These fuckers are Mexican.  THEY are the ones light on their feet.  THEY can hear every step I take.  No matter what I do to be quiet.  All three of those men scared me AND a fourth man that appeared in the last cell that I don't even remember seeing earlier in my dream!!  (I wonder who booked THEM in??)  I tell the girls that I need to run out to my car and get something.  I don't know for sure what I got because I don't remember that part of the dream but I do remember that when I came back in, I didn't have anything in my hands.  Hmmmmm.  When I do return though, I come in the "family room" type room.  There are those four bastard prisoners sitting there watching tv.  The beat up one is holding onto a portable radio and almost throws it at me and says "Your Deputy said to give this to you."  And they take off running.  All four of them.  


I get on the portable and say "All four are running.  Repeat all four are running."  I am watching them get further and further away from me, heading toward a door that I have never been through.  As I bound the steps to go through the door, a cop who looks like Barney Fife, comes running up behind me and says "It's ok!  They can ONLY get back to the jail cells through that door!!"  Thank God my bladder spoke up at this point and told me we needed to pee.  I am afraid to think WHAT the hell would've happened after that.  And this stupid dream haunted me all day!!  Kept catching myself thinking about it.  The more I think about it, the more details I remember.  I think I have it down perfect now.  Except for the parts in between where I have no idea, like when I went on my walk or out to my car.  


I didn't have anything to eat before I went to bed so don't ask, Matilda.  And I didn't drink anything either, Bertha.  The ONLY thing I have to associate such a disturbing dream to is the photo attached.  Uuuuugggggghhhhhhhh *insert shiver*

Wouldn't THAT give YOU awful sleep???

I made sure to show that to my co-workers.  Maybe they will have fits in their sleep tonight and I will then know the cause.  ICK.  

Moving on.  Today I had to go to the grocery store.  I do not like this chore.  Nothing about it.  Never have.  Never will.  I would rather iron.  I come out of the store, throw my stuff in the back seat of the van and get in the drivers seat and as I am getting the keys out of my pocket, I hear a low growl.  At first, I was pretty sure I was imagining things.  Then I heard it again.  Louder this time.  It sounded like I had a medium to large sized animal in the back of my van.  My first thought is this, "Why didn't I get a handgun this weekend instead of a new phone?"  I flipped up the arm rest and started to crawl between the front seats to meet whatever was about to eat me up and came face to face with NOTHING.  Apparently the wind was coming through a back window and makes it growl.  Dammit.  I'm glad I was parked far enough away from the store that they didn't see me climbing through my van to attack my groceries!  This doesn't make me like the grocery shopping any more than before.  *sigh*

I came home, threw the groceries on the counter.  Put away the pork chops & milk, and left everything else just sitting there because I knew I couldn't stay awake much longer.  To the living room floor I go.  I put on a movie and decided after trying to keep my eyes open for 10 minutes, that it was boring.  Nap time baby. So an hour(or hour and a half) later, the movie is over and I'm still exhausted.  See what I mean about this insulin not really taking effect on me?  I hate this feeling.  

So now I think my cinnamon rolls are ready to be finished up.  I will see if there is any earth shattering news when I get done.  

 Well, I survived that.  Got 48 rolls made, kitchen cleaned up, laundry started & dishes all done.  No earth shattering news although I have decided that my corner cupboard door hates me.  Unless I close it either S-L-O-W-L-Y or with a slam, it doesn't close all the way.  Geezus H, that irritates me.  I wonder if I can WD-40 those little hinges.........it's worth a try I guess!!


In other news, I have stopped playing Words with (Cheats) Friends for a while.  I don't know, something about playing 10 games at a time kinda burned me out.  I think I'm finally down to the last two games with one last person and then that's done.  Bertha is having a hard time accepting this fact.  She thinks because she can KICK MY ASS in it every time (who can't, I play 2-4 letters words if I can get away with it), that I SHOULD be playing all the time.  Somebody should probably slap her upside the head.  -_-  Love you Bertha May!!


Well I guess my Facebook fans need some attention before this headache puts me back to sleep.  Have a FANTABULOUS Tuesday since Monday is just about over.  Oh and don't work too hard.  It's not worth it.