In this dream, my brother, Hercules and I were driving down the highway in a pick-up. We had the whole back end of the truck filled with babies. Yes you read that right. Babies. As we were going down the road, I see something out of the corner of my eye, in the back of the truck and Herc says "Shit, we just lost some babies!" He pulls over and we take off running. Two babies have flown out. One landed in the middle of the road and the other landed on the shoulder. He ran to the one in the road and I ran to the other. I got down on the ground to see if this baby was ok and it was just looking at me crying. It's arms were straight up and I started checking it out. It's arms would not come down. No matter what. And here's the kicker (poor choice of words as you are about to read). The babies had no legs. NONE. No feet or anything. They were like weebles and they all had bodies that looked like they were in a sack. Told you that "kicker" was a poor choice of words. Ha!
Now, I'm no artist but this is pretty close to what those babies looked like! (Well except for that huge finger thing I got going on there!) I shit you not! I remember my brother saying that the baby he checked died. As I said I'm no artist and keep in mind I had to draw that thing with one finger while on my Kindle Fire. Sometimes my dreams are scary shit.
When God was handing out brains, I must have thought he said grains and said "no thanks, they give me the shits." My poor brain. It must've been overworked over the weekend. I blame the girls for this.
So anyway, I came across a little itty bitty piece of paper this morning when I got up. It was stashed inside my glasses case. It has a couple of things on it that I have overlooked in my previous blogs.
Firstly, there was the leftovers from Johnny Carino's. Lulu must've thought she only needed to eat a couple of bites of hers before going out so she could get drunk faster. Bahaha if she only knew THEN what we know NOW!! So she brought a box home with her meal in it. Guess what it was. Just take a stab at it. I will give you a hint. It's pasta (we WERE at an Italian restaurant). Did you guess it? NO??? Ok ok I will give you one more hint. It has white sauce over it. You got it now?
NO, NOT FETTUCINI!!! SHE brought home fegetinni! Funny fucking thing because THAT'S not even on the fucking menu!! They had Fettucini on the menu and that's what they BROUGHT her and that's what she ATE but she swears that her leftovers were fegetinni. What the hell is a fegetinni??? I plan to do research on this in the future.....
Secondly, when Matilda and I were on our way back to the house on Saturday evening, she says to me, "Should I take the first exit, second exit or third exit into Pamela's subdivision?"
(as she passes the first one) "Not the first one, there it went." And we laugh as she doesn't start slowing down for the second one. As we whiz by it at ninety seven miles per hour, I say "Don't take the second one either because you just passed it." Unstoppable laughter at this point. We can barely breathe. We got 'er slowed down for the third exit though. She made it. Because there was a stop sign involved. Phew! And I thank God for that stop sign because I think we would STILL be looking for an exit now, three days later!!!
And thirdly, this one is really funny to me because I wonder if Pamela has even found these yet. When we were looking for paper plates to use for the pizza, Matilda says "We will just put them in the microwave when we're done." Lulu and I look at each other like she had seriously lost her marbles. We sat down, ate our pizza, laughed and talked. Matilda gets the IPad out and is engrossed in Facebook because the area between where her and I live, got hit by a tornado; so she's looking at pictures and reading Facebook, not paying much attention to us.
I get up and put my plate in the microwave and go sit down. Lulu gets done with hers and follows suit. But she rinses her plate off first. Her plate goes right on top of mine. Matilda is done eating and I tell her to put her plate away. "I will. Just hang on." Facebook is winning. I told her when she is done, to put her plates with ours and she says "ok." Lulu and I go into the living room and sit down to talk. Finally Matilda gets up and goes to put her dishes in the sink and doesn't see ours. She opens the dishwasher and doesn't see them in there. "Where are your dishes?" "Right where you told us to put them." She is looking all around and can't find them. Then it hits her. She realizes what she said earlier. "Oh my god, did you.......??" She opens up the microwave and WAH-LAH, there are our dishes and the pizza cutter. So she washes hers and Lulu's dishes and puts them BACK in the microwave! What the fuck??? Not mine because I didn't rinse mine!!! Hello!! You just laid yours on my dirty plate you ding dong!!
Well Pammy, now you know where your stuff went. Hehehe sorry -_-
So now that I'm caught up on my notes, I can finish up with this long, drawn out, quiet, boring weekend. Have you fallen asleep yet? Matilda took Pammy's bed. The fan was in there so I took my sleeping bag in there and slept on the floor DIRECTLY in front of the fan (and sweated the whole damn night). Lulu started out in the front bedroom and then she was out on the couch so I'm not really sure where she slept. All I know is that when I woke up, she was about ready to go!
We load up the car. To the gills. We had all of our stuff that we brought, which included not only our bags, pillows and blankets but three big boxes of ugly clown cookies (that actually got named Mr. Bill cookies) and five big bags of baby presents PLUS all the extra stuff that we purchased when we were shopping! Wow! I couldn't even get out to get coffee. Lulu had to get it for me.
We worked out way across town and that was almost another anxiety attack for me. We ended up, momentarily, in a spot that did not look familiar to me and I saw NO SIGNS for highway seventy! "Oh dear, we've lost a highway. We lost a WHOLE highway. Where the FUCK is highway seventy???" And as quick as that, highway seventy was back. And then we were down by downtown KC and all was good in the land of Amelia Bedelia. Phew. I think it's Matilda's driving that does it to me. Not that she's a bad driver. She's not. She second guesses herself and then I second guess myself and then it just goes BAD from there! Complete and utter chaos!! I have six months to work up nerve to do this again. Oh but wait, that's going to be Vegas. We won't be driving there. Again.....phew.
We met up with a good friend of mine and her son from the Lees Summit area and had breakfast. Very good to catch up with Carrie and Bart. Very special people in my lives. We leave there to head to Liberty to baby Batman's shower. We only missed one turn and that was just because I was on the phone and forgot to tell her in time, to get over. Oh well. The baby shower was a huge success. Baby Batman's "given" name was revealed and he got a LOT of great things. And just for the record, he will always be Batman to me.
I couldn't eat much of what was served at the shower because it was mostly high carb stuff and sweets so when we got back in the car, I scarfed down my leftover taco salad from the previous day. Mmmmm glad I saved that!! Notice mine was called taco salad. When I ordered it, it was called taco salad and when I ate it a day later, it was still taco salad. Hmmmm!!! Lulu informed me that we would stop and eat on the way home because well..............."isn't that ALL we've done on this trip???" Well!!! We drove a lot, if I remember correctly girlfriend!!! AND we didn't stop to eat on the way home. Just as well though. I was full.
I think our ride home was uneventful. We had a good talk about being divorced since we've all been through it. Some more than others -_- We made a promise to each other that when we get down and things are bothering us, like ex-husbands for instance, we would call each other. Wolves travel in packs bitches.
Beware. We are home. And we are on the loose. Arivederci!!
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